Author's Note: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! There is a lot of it in here. Um….yeah to explain I'm going to just say one thing here: Saw.

Warning: There is a lot of blood here and if you don't want to read anything that deals with Saw and or that is really bloody then please hit the back button now.


Chapter 1-Prolouge

"MOMMY!" Luxord screamed one arm outstretched trying to grab his mother. The doors to her hospital room closing, he could vaguely hear someone mumbling about time of death. Luxord squirmed "MOMMY!" he screamed again, tears beginning to flow down his cheeks. Continuing to scream the entire time Luxord was eventually set down once they were outside of the hospital in front of a woman who was dressed completely in black. She stood in from of a black car "Mommy!" Luxord screamed running for the doors of the hospital, the woman set a hand on Luxord's shoulder "I WANT MY MOMMY!" the blonde haired boy screamed. The woman sighed softly

"We're going to find you a new mommy." The woman spoke gently as not to scare him

"My mommy is in there! I WANT MY MOMMY!" he screamed. The woman sighed turning Luxord to face her kneeling down to be at his eye level

"Luxord…"


Luxord shot up in bed, panting hard he looked around his blue eyes wide with fright. Looking around Luxord realized he was in the comfort of his home that he shared with his husband; panting for a while longer he eventually climbed out of the bed. Walking over to a glass screen door Luxord slid it open stepping out onto the balcony that over looked the large yard. Shutting the door he leaned against the railing sighing as rain pelted down onto him. He was going to regret this later but he didn't care, closing his eyes Luxord tried to will away the memories of the nightmares.

Why wouldn't they just leave him alone! For what seemed like forever his nightmares plagued him. He felt like sometimes the only thing between him and jumping off a cliff was that he knew a dark secret about these nightmares and his husband. Luxord swore his husband was some angel or god from heaven. He put up with that fact that Luxord never wanted to talk about his childhood and wouldn't explain why, though he had a feeling it bugged him a lot. Luxord sighed letting tears running down his cheeks, he hated these nightmares.

"Luxord?" a rough voice as if it was just waking up but still trying to be soft as not to scare Luxord called. Luxord looked over his shoulder to see his husband, his long black dreadlocks all over the place instead of his usual high ponytail. Luxord sighed softly

"Sorry." He mumbled

"It's fine. What are you doing outside in the rain?" the voice was closure and warm arms were wrapping around him. Luxord sighed again

"Just…couldn't sleep." He muttered, his husband leaned onto him a little nuzzling his head

"It's okay. Nightmares?" Luxord nodded. Xaldin had a special ability Luxord swore, he could read him like open book. The blonde nodded

"Sorry just…"

"You don't want to make me nervous by rolling over to see you crying? Because you know it makes me upset?" he asked. Luxord smiled

"Xaldin you read me like a book." Xaldin laughed a little

"You learn to after a while."

"You've always have been able to." Turning the male in his arms Xaldin looked at Luxord with a smile. Luxord ran a few fingers over the sideburns and arched eyebrows that hovered over violet blue eyes, setting his head against Luxord's forehead Xaldin shut his eyes stroking Luxord's beard softly

"I guess that just makes me a good husband." He told him. Luxord laughed weakly, Xaldin carefully wiped away the tears in Luxord's eyes

"It's okay sweetie." He whispered. Luxord shut his eyes tightly and felt tears rolling down his cheeks "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. Luxord shook his head

"Not yet…I know you want me to but…"

"I understand. It's personal for you; maybe you should call Ansem in the morning see if you can get an appointment in?" Xaldin suggested. Luxord nodded

"Maybe…we should go back to bed. Richard will have a cow if we are late tomorrow with this case we're working on." Xaldin laughed a little

"More he'll have a cow, kitten, llama, and ark to put them on." Xaldin teased. Luxord laughed

"And his eyes will shoot out lasers?" Luxord added, Xaldin nodded

"Exactly, see you can read my mind." Xaldin joked. Luxord smiled

"Thanks for coming out here. Just joking like this helps a lot honestly." He told his husband when he leaned back to look at him directly in the eyes, Xaldin smiled gently kissing Luxord's lips

"No trouble, I may not know everything but I know enough to make you happy."

"That's all you need to know until I can tell you the rest." Luxord hugged Xaldin tightly feeling him hug him back. It was a while later before Xaldin noticed Luxord was breathing very calmly, looking at him he smiled seeing Luxord haven fallen asleep in his arms. Scooping up the male in his arms he walked them back inside, laying Luxord down in the bed he crawled in on the other side tucking them both in. Setting his head next to his husband's Xaldin sighed softly, whatever caused these nightmares he really wish it would stop. He hated seeing Luxord wake up every morning crying.


"Come on Daddy!" Luxord giggled as he stood on top of the brightly colored jungle gym waving to his father. The man with layered blonde hair and blue eyes laughed

"I'm going to get you!" he called running up the stairs towards his son. Luxord squealed in fake terror before running higher up in the jungle gym, laughing as they ran Luxord eventually stopped just in front of the slide "I've got you now!" his father laughed. Luxord shook his head

"Nuh uh!" he giggled before waiting when his dad could have grabbed him before sliding down the slide

"No! You got away!" his father laughed. Luxord giggled seeing his father slide down after him, beginning to run he was caught in a pair of arms holding him tightly "Got you!" Luxord laughed. The two wrestled for a while when a soft voice called to them

"Time for lunch!" a woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes called to them. Luxord turned to the woman smiling

"Mommy!" he called running over with his father behind him. Hugging his mom Luxord giggled…


"NO!" Luxord screamed sitting up, tears rolling down both his cheeks rapidly. "No, no, no, no, no!" he sobbed putting his face into his hands. He felt the sheets rustle a little before Xaldin was hugging him

"Lux?" he called. Luxord sobbed

"No…no…" he felt so utterly weak, he heard Xaldin sigh softly as he continued to cradle him in his arms listening to Luxord sob. Eventually Xaldin kissed Luxord's cheek

"Call Ansem, I want you to see him today." He ordered. Luxord sobbed

"He isn't open yet. I'll call him at nine, I'll be fine…"

"No Lux. This is the worse I've seen you in a long time, I want you to call him…"

"Xal…I just need a few to calm down…" Luxord shut his eyes only to see a flash of the dream. He hadn't realized even he hit the ground crying until he could hear Xaldin shouting something. When Luxord saw what had happened he sat up

"Luxord…" the blond looked at his husband to see Xaldin looking at him terrified; Luxord brought his knees up to his chest

"I'll call him…can I at least see you off to work?" he asked quietly. Xaldin nodded

"You going to be okay home alone until then?"

"Yeah I'll be fine, I'll call him. After we meet up I'll swing by work to see you…" Luxord muttered. Xaldin nodded sitting on the floor next to Luxord to embrace the man

"Alright. I love you." He whispered

"I love you too. I'm sorry…" Luxord whispered. It seemed like he was saying that a lot this week. Xaldin smiled weakly

"It's fine." He told him kissing Luxord's cheek.


Xaldin headed out around seven, prolonging his leaving to comfort Luxord who had gotten ready but still seemed shaken to the core. Once he gave the man a friendly kiss on the cheek and headed out for the day Luxord spent an hour trying to calm himself before picking up the phone

"Doctor Lee-Burton's office, this is Stacey how can I help you?" a female voice asked when Luxord finally got the nerve to dial the number

"Can I talk with Ansem?" he asked. The woman paused

"Oh! Luxord! It's been forever! Sure let me get him." There was a small moment of silence before he could vaguely hear Stacey say that it was him on the phone

"Luxord?" a male voice asked

"Yeah…it's me." Luxord had to swallow a lump in his throat

"Oh…You need me?" Ansem asked. He knew that tone of voice

"Yeah…you available?" Ansem paused for a moment to flip through a book of his appointments

"Yeah I'm open. You want to meet in like twenty?"

"Yeah, see you then." Luxord hung up after that. Has he drove down to Ansem's office Luxord glanced at his glove box, he had two pictures on the front of it. One had him when he was very young holding the hands of Lucrecia and his elder sister Aeirth who was holding onto Ansem. The other one was him and Xaldin at the High School prom, they looked so happy in the picture. Looking back to the road Luxord sighed, these dreams had to stop.


Parking his car Luxord headed into Ansem's office building, the moment he entered the secretary smiled at him

"You can go back. He's waiting for you." She told him. Luxord nodded opening the door that lead into the hallway connected to Ansem's office. Arriving at Ansem's door he knocked twice

"Come in." Ansem's voice called. Opening the door Luxord slipped inside of the room shutting the door firmly behind him

"Hey dad." He waved. Ansem had been sitting in a corner that had his desk that like usual was covered with paper. Ansem looked over his shoulder his orange red eyes focusing on Luxord

"Luxord. You want to take a seat over there? I'll be right over." Luxord nodded sitting on the long couch that was waiting for him, Ansem finished whatever he was working on walking over to the sit in the chair that faced the couch "So what happened? Must be pretty bad if you called for me." Luxord smiled a little

"What if I just wanted to visit?" he joked Ansem gave Luxord a look

"You know that I would upset with you." He pulled out a notebook "Besides your voice was shaking when you called me this morning." Luxord sighed

"Sorry…just I thought I was over this…" he muttered

"It's fine. What happened?" he asked, Luxord looked at his hands for a few moments

"The nightmares are getting worse…I think it's all my fault."

"You can't control the nightmares Luxord." Ansem told him

"But... I think that they are happening so often because I feel guilty for not telling Xaldin about…" Luxord bit his lip

"You're afraid of telling him aren't you?" Ansem asked knowing that Luxord only bit his lip when he was scared. Luxord nodded

"Just…I'm afraid he won't believe me." He muttered

"He's your husband."

"But the story I have is so unbelievable!" Luxord announced looking depressed. Ansem smiled

"Xaldin will believe you. He's married to you, he will listen to you." Ansem assured him. Luxord sniffed

"But it means telling him everything…" he looked at his father

"What happened in this dream?" Ansem asked confused by what was making him so nervous. Luxord sighed

"I was at a park, I was playing on jungle gym before having a picnic with my mom and dad." He told Ansem. Ansem blinked

"Luxord if that to you is a nightmare than you need a lot of help I'm sorry to tell you." He told the boy not finding that dream very scary. Luxord looked at Ansem with his eyes, it finally clicked to Ansem "Oh. You never told him?" Ansem asked. Luxord shook his head

"No. I never told Xaldin, that I was adopted."

End of Chapter 1