A/N: Hi there! So, Demons; I've been sucked in, evidently. Wasn't sure at first...and I'm still not sure now...but if a show gets me in a fic writing mood then it must be half-decent. :o)
Hope you lot like this little Galvin/Mina oneshot. Drowning in angst as usual- it must be Phil, he just brings out the worst in me, God love him.
Enjoy!
Ruby :o) x
"He likes to call himself Lucifer. He has the power to give you whatever you want, the thing you want most in this entire world, no boundaries. Your deepest, darkest desire. And in return...he takes your soul."
"Galvin, don't be an idiot. Souls don't exist-"
"It's your memories, your wants and fears, everything that makes up who you are. He takes it all, feeds of it, making him stronger by the second. He feeds off your misery and destroys you with it. Making the deal worthless."
"So why give it to him?"
"Have you never wanted something you can't have? Wanted it so bad you'd give anything, literally anything, to get it? Even if you only have it for the briefest of seconds..."
"It wouldn't be worth the sacrifice! You can't believe that, Mina."
"I've lived longer than all of you. You don't know anything about sacrifices."
He pulled up outside her house slowly, his knuckles white with the grip he had on the wheel. He wasn't sure what he felt. Anger, resentment, confusion. Hurt. Mainly hurt, but he didn't have the right to feel it, truthfully. Truthfully, he should feel no different than he did when he woke up this morning.
He heard her swallow in the seat next to him, and let out a long breath. He'd never known her to be this…nervous, was it? He'd always though her to be a stranger to that particular emotion. Fear she knew of course, they all did, she more than most. But this…he could tell without looking that she was wringing her elegant gloved hands and trying to keep her breathing level. He wondered if her eyes darted around in nerves even when there was heavy velvet curtains constantly draped over them. He'd wished before that she could see but was thankful now that she couldn't, thankful that his pained expression would remain private. Pained because now, all he could do was sit there and wait for her to speak. He couldn't possibly say anything; she'd end up knowing his every thought through just one utterance, no doubt. Never before had he considered her gifts a burden. She'd always claimed that they were, but he never believed her.
"It's not true."
Her voice was unnaturally tight, like she was forcing it out against her own will, and it sounded painfully like she was keeping some violent storm of emotion at bay, trying to maintain that impossible calm that she always resonated. He couldn't stop himself from letting out a short, bitter laugh. Those were the words he'd been waiting for, her lies and her absolute denial, and for a moment he was startled by the accuracy of his prediction. He swallowed. What he wasn't prepared for was the stinging sensation in his chest, the feeling of being kicked in the gut, the painful lurch of his heart.
"Yeah. I know." he said quietly, staring ahead blankly, his eyes slits. The sun was just starting to rise, the horizon a dark, musky blue and he suddenly felt tiredness overwhelm him. He sighed and let himself fall against the back of the seat, and removed his hands from the wheel, a slightly numb sensation left in his fingers. He stared down as he clenched and unclenched them, now at a loss for words because was there really anything else to say?
"Right." she said, her voice even smaller than before, and he couldn't stop himself from glancing at her, the one thing he'd avoided doing throughout this entire journey because he knew as soon as he looked at her, every single second of the horrendous evening would come flooding back in hideous clarity. "Of course. Alright."
Tears were forming in her dark eyes and he had to look away from her. He felt his throat constrict painfully, the image one he'd never grown used to even after all these years, after every ordeal that they'd suffered together. He'd never met anyone more beautiful than her. Not even Maggie. And with that thought came the rising tide of guilt he'd spent so many years trying to ignore, the plummets into insanity that had plagued his marriage and still continued to haunt him. No, he decided, he wasn't going to just ignore this, wasn't just going to deny it out of existence.
"No. It's not alright." he said suddenly, the guilt only serving to fuel his anger because he had no reason to feel fucking guilty. His voice was chillingly low. "How the hell is it alright?"
"Rupert- "
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
His voice had risen to a horrible volume and he was looking at her now, saw her wince as he spoke. Good. She was causing him this ridiculous torment; it was only fair she suffered in turn. Her mouth was opening and closing, as if she was trying to speak but couldn't get the words out. Her lips trembled for a moment before she finally answered him.
"It wouldn't have made a difference," she said, stifling a sob, apparently done with lying, with denying it. "You were never meant to know."
"Why?" he growled, fuming. "What, you thought you'd hurt me? You thought I couldn't deal with it?"
"I thought I'd lose you!"
She drew in a shuddering breath after that choked exclamation, and he turned away from her, pressing his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. He pressed hard, seeing black spots and hearing her as she tried to stop herself from crying. She was failing and he felt his head thud in agony, dull rage still ruling him. This was her fault.
"Well you're gonna lose me one day sweetheart," he spat cruelly "Like he said; I'm just gonna grow old and die. Why don't you just kill me now, cut out the middle man and spare yourself the fucking pain!"
"Stop it." she moaned, tears still choking her words. "Just stop it."
He hadn't meant that but it was said now, and he immediately felt foolish. But it wasn't enough to outweigh everything else.
"He was telling the truth, wasn't he." he said slowly, staring ahead, his throat sore. Images from the evening flashed painfully in front of his eyes. "Every word that came out of his mouth was true. Wasn't it?"
There was silence from her, and he snapped.
"Wasn't it!?"
"So what if it was!?" she cried suddenly, tears streaming down her face, her dark makeup staining it. "Why do you even care! It doesn't change anything!"
"It changes everything!" he spat back, his blood pumping fiercely and he gripped the wheel violently or else he knew he could lash out. He'd never felt more out of control before. "How the hell d'you think I'm meant to be feeling, huh?"
"I don't have to explain myself to you." she said, her voice thick as she spoke through gritted teeth. "You think it changes everything…but you know as well as I do that tomorrow we'll both pretend like nothing even happened."
He had nothing to say to that.
"You should have told me." was all he could mumble. He didn't have the strength to argue with her anymore. The more he thought about the evening past, the more his entire body seemed to ache with it, the more pain his injuries pulsed through his blood.
"Why?" she whispered, and her voice sounded so brutally honest, so clear with the truth that he could do nothing but believe every word she was about to utter. "You…" she paused to let out a painful breath. "Do you want to know why I didn't tell you? Because I didn't want to go through that pain again…I didn't want to lose you like I lost Jonathan. And I told myself that if I kept my distance, if you never knew then…it would go away."
She held back a sob as she spoke those last words.
"But it didn't." he said flatly, comprehension slowly dawning as her words sunk in. But knowing the truth of it didn't make it hurt any less.
There was an agonising pause, and she sniffed, letting out a shuddering breath and sticking out her jaw defiantly.
"No."
"It's tragic, isn't it?" he said, his voice sickening like treacle, tar oozing into his ears, and it caused him physical pain. His suit was immaculate- white, ironically- his black hair gelled back, pulling tight at his grey-pale skin, skin that stretched too thin over his skull. That was the most disturbing thing about him; as much as he was clearly a monster, he still looked too human. His eyes held too many souls.
"What is." Galvin couldn't stop himself from asking, clenching his jaw in barely suppressed fury. He tried to move his wrists but they were bound tight and it burnt his skin, his head thudded in agony as his own words continued to echo throughout the church. Dust fluttered down from the crumbling church roof, the moonlight casting sharp lines through the darkness. He looked grimly to where the creature was stood- crouching down next to Mina, who was also tied tight to a heavy iron pole that made up the scaffolding. Her face was eerily calm, her eyes closed and her mouth a thin line across her ghostly face. The demon grinned maliciously, turning back to Galvin with menace in his eyes.
"Why Mina, of course." he said in delight, cupping her face with his claw-like hands and Galvin strained helplessly at the rope without even realising it. "Such a terrible tale she has, wouldn't you agree?"
Galvin remained silent, glaring daggers at him, breathing heavily. The creature let out a horrible, throaty laugh.
"I think we should hear it again." he sighed dramatically, smiling in a loving way at her and her face still remained blank, she didn't move even in his slimy grip. "Where should we start?"
"I know her story." Galvin said in a frighteningly low voice. The creature rolled his eyes. "What do you want?"
"Only...to watch you both suffer." he answered, his smile vanishing briefly before returning more venomously than before. "I've known her much longer than you have. I'm sure that there's bound to be something new to learn about her, isn't there?"
Mina flinched and Galvin stared at her, brows knit. This is a trap was all he could think, and he found that he was now terrified by her silence. Fight back, he willed. Say something. The creature's gaze had shifted to his, and he felt bile rise in his throat.
"What do you think she wants most in this world?"
He didn't say anything.
"No? Wouldn't like to hazard a guess? It's nauseatingly obvious."
His breathing had become horribly laboured, it echoed along with the creature's words, and he stared at Mina, startled to see that tears were falling from her eyes.
"I could give it to her," it whispered. It faced her again. "I could give it to you. You have suffered so much and for so long. The one thing you want, the only thing you can't have...you could have it right now."
"Don't listen to him." Galvin said immediately through gritted teeth. Mina choked back a ghastly sob and he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing, couldn't believe that this repulsive thing had the power to completely destroy her.
"The soul of a vampire." the creature sighed. "That's all I want in return. A small price, truthfully. I've offered it to her before...but she always refuses. But now, I think, she might change her mind. There isn't much...time left, shall we say."
Mina leaned away from him, her crimson lips trembling, but the creature moved closer. It was all Galvin could do not to rip his arms out of their sockets, the rope setting his wrists alight. He felt blood slide along the palms of his hands.
"He's grown old, Mina." he said in a whisper and glancing back at Galvin "I'm sure it would break your heart to see it. But it would be worth it, wouldn't it? "
Galvin felt his head fog up in confusion, his heart thudding wildly in his chest. It was clear that the creature was referring to himself. Mina's face contorted in anguish.
"It's sickening. She is supposed to be... a monster, like the rest of us. She is supposed to want to tear you pathetic humans apart! But no...the thing she wants most in this world, the thing she would give her soul for, is to be one of you again!"
The creature convulsed into manic laughter and Mina let out a quiet sob. Galvin could only watch, frozen, as this horrific scene continued to play out.
"And it's all for you, Galvin." he sighed dramatically, standing up and gesturing grandly. "She sacrificed everything...what she truly is, what she was once happy to be. She gave it all up. Her powers. Her sight! That tedious, terrible cleansing she goes puts herself through...it is all for you. Makes you sick, doesn't it?"
He remained silent, staring at Mina, his face a picture of agony.
"You're lying." he forced out. Because of course he was lying. The creature just stared at him with a horrible deathly grin, his yellow teeth hissing.
"I wish I was."
Galvin swallowed, his eyes still fixed on Mina's. She must know that he was looking at her; the intensity of his gaze was making him feel sick.
"Then she's a fool."
Mina was silent, the entire building dead for a long, terrible moment. Then she spoke at last, her words so quiet, so muffled by tears that he felt like all the air had escaped from his lungs, like ice had replaced it. His heart stopped.
"I'm sorry."
"Yes, she is so sorry. Sorry she never told you because, well, you were married weren't you! You'd already found the love of your life! And everyday her poor little heart was shattering." He turned to Mina. "You're lucky day when Mags kicked the bucket, eh?"
"Stop it." she let out, an almost silent cry. Galvin let his head drop to his chest, letting nausea and darkness and despair finally drown him.
"...and everyday she had to remain flawlessly beautiful while you withered and aged, while you grew old and bitter..."
"No." she sobbed defiantly.
"...and you'd go to your grave never knowing that she loved you more than she loved any of the others."
He let out an absurd giggle, his face the picture of evil and his eyes dancing with glee. Galvin closed his eyes in complete and abysmal misery, sinking into a terrifying whirlpool that he had no chance of escaping. That thing was killing her, he realised with a sudden and acute pain; he was taking her soul and her heart right in that second.
Taking what was left of it...
"Oh if only you could see his face right now, Mina!" The monster held a hand over his chest, as if in physical pain. "You'd just die."
And there was an earth shattering crash as the window at the head of the church shattered, Luke standing with a gun in it's debris. It was over pretty quickly after that.
He opened her door for her, noticing for the first time that the grip she had on his arm wasn't nearly as tight as it normally was. She stepped in, trembling slightly and he looked up to see the first flecks of snow falling from the dark, early morning sky.
She turned to face him but before she could shut the door he stuck a foot in, marching into her dimly lit hallway and she had no room to protest. Not that she would, he thought bitterly.
He turned to look at her as she hung her coat up, acting so normally it almost hurt. He suddenly felt sick with guilt, his stomach churning as he stared at her face that had lost every inch of colour it once had. She looked like a ghost, as white as thick, dead snow, her eyes red raw and lined with heavy black kohl, smudged and faded and it only made her look even more broken. He swallowed and walked slowly back towards her, stopping only inches away. Her head was lowered now; he could only see the top of it.
"Did he hurt you?" he asked quietly- and then closed his eyes, mortified. He'd meant physically and he gestured to her body, but let out a choking, helpless sort of laugh because she couldn't see it-
"I've been through worse." she said in response, her voice still a stranger's. She was lying. And then her head shot up, her hand coming to rest on his arm. There was a sudden urgency in her voice as she whispered. "What...what about you?"
He almost smiled in utter disbelief.
"I'm fine." he said incredulously, and without thinking he lifted his hands to her face, placed his thumbs under her eyes. "I'm fine."
He knew then the real reason he was hurt. Why he was guilty. It wasn't his pride or a misplaced sense of justice, of what was right or wrong or the endless grey shades in between. No- it was a completely selfish reasoning, he realised with pain, he'd yelled at her and made he suffer because he couldn't think about anyone but himself.
Because if she'd told him all those years ago that she was in love with him, he would have done anything for her.
"I'm such a fool..." he uttered miserably, wanting to scream at the absurdity of it all and her hands reached up to hold onto his wrists. She smiled tearfully at him.
"Yes, you are." she said with a sad sigh. "But not as foolish as me."
He found he was shaking his head, a grim expression fixed on his face. He felt so tired. And so old. And before he realised what he was doing, how close they both were, she sucked in a loud gasp as his lips stopped inches from hers, stopped for an instant before pressing lightly against them. It was impossibly brief but for some bizarre reason felt like they'd both been waiting twenty lifetimes for it.
"You'll regret that." she said, tears streaming from her eyes.
"Regrets...I've already got too many of those." he said, his forehead resting against hers. his brows furrowed almost painfully as a crushing realisation dawned on him. "And the worst part of all this, is that had you told me back then, even when I had everything...the perfect life, a wife who loved me...I still would have gone with you. I would have given it all up."
Her face crumpled and he let out a monstrous breath, choked by sudden and unwelcome tears that he held at bay.
"All that time you wasted..."
"It can't happen- "
"Why not?" he growled, a suddenly intense passion consuming him because they were both fools at the end of it all, both idiots for not giving into this decades ago. Their roles were suddenly reversed, he realised, and now perhaps he wanted it more than she did. She loved him- but what he felt for her he couldn't even begin to comprehend, feelings that seemed painfully new, yet he knew they'd been resting dormant at the pit of his stomach since the moment he'd met her.
"You don't know what it's like." she said, her wrecked voice drenched in anger "You don't know how hard it is, having to live on..."
"Don't do this to yourself." he said desperately. "Just...don't think about the future. It's now. This is happening now."
The argument had sounded weak in his head but the surprising strength in his words shocked both of them. He held back from kissing her again for some reason, the sensation still lingering from the last, and looked deeply into her eyes, her cold dead eyes that had never seemed more infinitely beautiful. And she knew exactly his tormented expression, she knew every single look he gave her in some strange, impossible way. Her hand reached out and rested on his jaw; she knew every crevice of his face, every line that time had given it and every perfection it had cruelly snatched away. She knew it all.
"I wish I could see you." she whispered. Her fingertips were icy and he sighed, placed his hands on her waist. She'd never seemed so small in comparison to him. "Just for a moment...I barely caught a glimpse of you that night."
"You don't." he said lightly with a small smile, desperate to lift some of this crushing anguish "You'd run to the hills..."
She shook her head, allowing a small, heart broken smile herself. "Never." Then, quietly; "I'd never leave you."
And he stared at her so tragically he was sure that she could feel his pain, spoke so sincerely that it hurt them both, more than either of them could say. His words broke his heart, and he could do nothing but let it consume him.
"I wish I could say the same."
