Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.
Author's Note: This is for the Mew and Mor's Weird Pairing Competition on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forum. This pairing, Orion/Alphard, is an M&MWP, so credit for it belongs to mew-tsubaki and Morghen.
Also, thanks to owluvr for betaing this!
Sometimes, being pureblood is hard work.
Sometimes, it isn't all it's cracked up to be.
You never thought that \before\.
After all, you had a 'perfect' life.
It was good to be a Black.
It was good to be in Slytherin.
You had everything you wanted and everything you needed.
Then it happened.
"Orion, it's time for you to settle down."
"Orion, it's time for you to get married and continue the Black line."
"Orion, we've picked out a perfect wife for you."
Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad…
(If you were attracted to women).
Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, if the woman wasn't Walburga.
She's a bloody MENACE!
(Is there anybody who actually likes her?)
(Is there anybody who can stand to be around her?)
Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, if you didn't fancy somebody else.
(Alphard Black).
He's Walburga's brother (how are they related?).
Pretty soon, he'll be your brother-in-law.
You see him often - after all, you need to spend time with your soon-to-be-bride.
(WHY MUST YOU GO THROUGH THIS TORTURE?)
But it isn't as bad when he's around, now, is it?
In your eyes, he brightens UP a room.
He can ease your annoyance at Walburga The Menace.
Then...then...then...
(You really shouldn't get drunk, Orion.)
(You blurt things out.)
"Alphard, I-I fancy you. You're better than Walburga."
Oh shit.
Did you really just say that out loud?
Yeah. You did.
Oops.
"Of course I'm better than Walburga. Who isn't?"
You love his confident smile.
(Maybe he's a little drunk as well).
(Or maybe he fancies you, too).
Somehow, you end up in a tangled pile of limbs.
Somehow, your clothes end up on the floor.
"Am I better at this, too, Orion?"
(His toothy grin, his sculpted chest, his too-long hair).
"Of course, of course - keep doing that -"
"Gladly."
The next morning should be awkward.
It's a rule.
But instead, you hear, "I had a great time with you last night."
He winks.
"We should do that again sometime, you think?"
Merlin, Alphard! Walburga's right there!
Oh, everybody thinks you two just spent some quality time together.
Oh, it was quality time, all right.
"Yes, Alphard. I would enjoy...getting to know you better."
Maybe this arrangement with Walburga would work out.
It would give you an excuse to spend time with Alphard.
"The men of the family should provide a united front," your father always said.
"Make sure to spend time with Alphard as well, since you'll be brothers-in-law," your mother always said.
You won't mind spending more time with Alphard, not one bit.
