Even thought Ciel would never admit it out loud… he was jealous. Jealous about cats that he had seen his butler so lovingly stroke. Some time ago Ciel would have ordered Sebastian to get rid off the cats he "secretly" hid in his room, but not anymore. Ciel hated this childishness, the same way he hated the fact that he had fallen in love with his butler the one person he perfectly well knew he would never have. But he hid all this deep inside him like all the sorrow and misery he held in his heart about his parents murder, humiliation, pain, grief he had had to go throw… all those things that any other would have just cried or gone lunatic about, but Ciel wasn't one of those people. He got strength from his anger. He had set his eyes on the revenge and after it was done and the contract fulfilled, Sebastian…the only one he loved, would devour his soul. All the other things weren't so pleasant, but Ciel was more than happy to give his soul to his royal butler. That thought brought little joy and little comfort to his life… the fact that he knew his butler wanted his soul and at that way he could please his beloved and give him something in return for everything.
Ciel sat in his office room thinking all this even thought he hoped he could forget the painful memories and feelings towards his butler. He tried to concentrate on his work but it didn't help much. Ciel sighed and closed his visible eye and leaned back to his seat putting away the pencil he had been using.
Slowly he rose from his seat and walked to the window. He watched the garden which was baiting in sunshine. Everything looked beautiful; roses were blooming bright red and white, the grass was shimmering green and the sky was clear. Ciel let his eye rest on the pleasant view and at the same time he touched the eye patch which covered the Faustian contract with his right hand. Then he let the hand slip back to his side and continued on just staring the view in front of him.
Soon he saw his butler walking in the garden and a small smile touched his lips before it vanished when he saw one of those beautiful feline creatures walking towards his butler. Ciel turned away from the window and got back to his chair a long sigh escaping his lips. 'I really wonder when I became such pathetic… Look at me now I'm jealous of a cat and I would be ready to do anything to change parts with it.' Ciel laughed at his thoughts and shook his head even thought he wasn't really amused. 'Okay. Now pull yourself together! You're a Phantomhive and these kinds of things don't have anything to do with you.' Ciel ended his thoughts and again hid them all deep in his heart so that no one couldn't ever find them.
Ciel was a master at hiding his feelings and thoughts from everyone. Even thought his butler was very capable of reading his master the only one who knew the fact that Ciel loved Sebastian and was jealous about his cats was Ciel himself and him only. And if it was up to Ciel to decide it would always be so. Ciel was far too proud to admit it and also far too scared of the reaction the information might cause. There were people that had hurt the young heir too much and he didn't want it to happen ever again. So the outcome was: that it hurt much lesser when you kept thoughts and feelings to yourself than it would if Sebastian was ever to find out and then reject, laugh or even leave Ciel.
Ciel tried to get back to his work and he took a pencil and was starting to sing the papers again when his thoughts once again wandered else where and his seeing eye became distant: 'Besides I'm only a mere human… There will never be a day when he would love me the way I love him. I'm not worthy for him.' Again Ciel shook his head trying to get rid off his inconvenient thoughts but those thoughts left an ache into his heart which was only increasing. A soft aching pain which slowly crept becoming more and more painful every day…
Sebastian walked in the garden trying to gather his thoughts and get the irritation away of the three imbeciles' who seemed only to be capable of destroying things. But then again he was more worried about his dear Ciel who seemed to become more and more distant each passing day. Sebastian was deeply worried, the change wasn't big but he as one hell of a butler could still see it. A sigh escaped the demons lips, he wasn't really used to these kinds of thoughts but he couldn't help them. He had a long time ago admitted that he loved his little master, not just his soul but everything about him. He was brilliant at mind, beautiful and at the same time cute and so temptingly devilish. But at the same time he was a child who could be scared and vulnerable which made him look even more adorable in the butler's eyes. Those occasions were rare but Sebastian was happy that he was the only one who could see even that side of his lord and comfort him in those times…
The worry made Sebastian's heart ache as he walked in the garden. He was walking to the rose garden because he knew that from there he could see to his bocchan's office. While walking he spotted a black cat walking towards him. A soft smile rose to the demon's lips as he bent down picking the creature to his arms. Doing that his sharp eyes noticed a movement in his master's office and Sebastian turned to look at there only to see his master's back as he walked away from the window. The demon frowned even though the movement would have been perfectly normal to anyone else the demon found it odd that his master hadn't opened the window and shouted at him about the cat which he knew that Ciel disliked. Sebastian kept staring at the window and another sigh escaped his lips. He put the cat down and looked at it while muttering to it:
- I suppose that won't work anymore…
That was Sebastian's little secret. He did like cats but there was a hidden meaning behind it. He loved cats because they reminded him of Ciel and he knew that Ciel disliked cats so usually he would get his master's attention on him while patting them even thought it would mean to be shouted. Still Sebastian was happy to take anything from Ciel even shouting and it always allow him the perfect opportunity admire his master's beauty and his feisty character. 'How many times I have already tried that? I even released one cat to the manor and it stumbled straight to young master. But he just stared at it and then sighed and ordered me to keep my pets in my own room and then got back to his office.' Sebastian was really troubled even thought it was a small thing and otherwise his master was his old self except that he spent more and more time in his office room. Sebastian shook his head trying to figure out his young master and then a sudden smirk formed into his face. He glanced towards his master's office and then looked at his watch realizing it was time for his master's afternoon tea…
Ciel was still in his office trying to get some work and done and to get rid of his unwanted thoughts but he was failing miserably. A soft knock on the door stopped his misery for a second but only for a second because Ciel knew perfectly well who was behind that door with his afternoon tea and snack.
- Come in
Ciel informed his butler making his best effort to just concentrate on the papers before him than the person entering.
- Young master, you afternoon tea will be Earl gray and for your snack I have prepared a chocolate cake with a hint of vanilla in it.
Sebastian presented and poured tea for his master all the time observing the young lord who hadn't even raised his head from the papers. As he was handing the tea for his master Ciel tried quickly to dismiss him:
- Thank you, you can leave the tea there, I'll still have some work to finish before it. You may go now
Sebastian continued his observing without any intension on leaving. He could clearly see that Ciel hadn't done nearly any of his work and was trying his best avoiding any eye contact with him, but that wouldn't do. The demon wanted to see his masters beautiful face and make sure that the lord understand he couldn't hide anything from him.
So before Ciel could do anything or even realise what was happening Sebastian had rolled his chair so he was facing him. Sebastian took Ciel's face between his gloved hands and forced the phantomhive heir to look at him in the eye. They just stared each other for a moment unsaid emotions flickering in both of their eyes. Ciel was shocked at the sudden movement but quickly regained his composure back and tried to turn his face away but Sebastian wasn't having that so Ciel simply closed his seeing eye hiding that way from his butler's intense look.
Sebastian's lips pulled into a smirk at that reaction. `My master truly is adorable.` He took a moment just admiring the gorgeous human being in front of him. Still he wondered. `How could this little human make me a demon to fall so hopelessly in love with him that I'm willing to serve him forever just because I want to be with him…?` Sebastian grinned at that thought it was so ridiculous and so true.
While Sebastian was occurred with his thoughts Ciel believed he had calmed himself enough that he could speak and look at his butler without letting any of his emotions slip. He opened his eyes and fixed as hard and angry stare at his butler as he possibly could and he knew straight away he was failing because Sebastian's grin only got wider. The proud child continued nonetheless:
- Se-Sebastian what the hell do you think you are doing?! I have already dismissed you. So go back to your duties this instant!
Sebastian just started to stroke Ciel's cheeks with his thumbs his smirk never leaving his face as he watched his master struggle to keep his composure and not to shiver from the gentler touch and as you can guess again he was failing miserably. Ciel knew right away he couldn't keep his calm very long and it was already cracking still he wasn't going to give up to that demon and he took a long breath and then fixed his eye to Sebastian's. Sebastian just watched and marvelled his master's lovely face and his ability to even try keeping calm in a situation the other had so clear upper hand, his master truly was unique. Ciel took the last trick he had in store:
- Sebastian I or-
He couldn't get farther before his butler had captured his lips in sweet kiss that took away all Ciel's reasonable thoughts away with his calm and some of his pride too leaving hurt in Ciel's heart. For Ciel knew Sebastian had guessed or somehow became aware of his feelings of him and was just teasing him. `I know he can't love me… So why this has to happen, I really don't know if I can handle this.` Even with his heart hurting and sad thoughts Ciel still kissed Sebastian back. `Even if I can't have him, I'll take what I can like always in life.`
The air soon became an issue for Ciel so Sebastian pulled away watching his master take deep breaths trying to calm himself and to get rid of the blush he had gotten. Sebastian smiled softly at Ciel and Ciel was a bit taken aback because this wasn't one of Sebastian's usual smirks. No this was a soft and loving smile and Ciel couldn't help but shiver at that. Sebastian lowered his hands to Ciel's waist and pulled him to his lap and hugging the boy as close to his body as he could. Ciel didn't know what to think he couldn't let himself hope, no not after everything he had had to go through in his life. Sebastian however stopped his thought by murmuring gently to his ear:
- Little one you don't ever have to be jealous. I love you more than anything in this world and nothing could change that.
Sebastian laughed and continued
- I never thought that I would fall in love to human nonetheless but you my love have captured my heart completely and I wish I can spend my eternity with you because without you in my life it will be worthless to carry on.
Sebastian draw the boy closer to him and nuzzled is face to Ciel soft hair enjoying the scent that was only Ciel. Ciel was trying to get rid of the pink that refused to leave his cheeks and calm his heart that had gone wild. `That has to be a lie… But demons can't lie, can they?` Ciel wanted the truth he refused to be fooled by the demon:
- Don't you dare lie to me Sebastian. Not about a thing like that. I should have known you'd figure my feelings out someday but I just refused to think that. Yes, I love you more than anything else in this world, but refuse to be tricked. I order you to not play with my emotions and to only tell the truth about your owns.
Sebastian chuckled softly at the authority in Ciel's voice even when the boy was shaking in his arms and his face was buried in His butler's chest Ciel still manage to sound commanding. Another thing he loved about his master. At the same time the butler felt joy he had never felt before hearing the confession from his master and now he wanted nothing more than to make sure his beloved how much he truly loved him:
- I assure you my lord that I'm not lying to you or trying to trick you
Sebastian pulled slightly away from Ciel so he could see his eyes while Ciel was still refusing any eye contact. Sebastian gently lifted Ciel face under his chin so their eyes met. And he spoke again:
- I truly love you Ciel Phantomhive
Ciel just stared at him until Sebastian decided to claim his lips to another kiss and after they parted Ciel answered to the confession:
- I love you too Sebastian, more than anything.
And they kissed again putting their love, need, adoration and passion everything they for each other in it. Then they just sat there in silent, Sebastian on the floor and Ciel on his lap his head tugged in to the crook of Sebastian's neck and Sebastian resting his head against Ciel. They felt complete.
Soon enough Ciel fell asleep and Sebastian couldn't help put smile at him, he truly was cutest and he his and his only. Slowly so not to wake his master Sebastian stood up Ciel still in his arms and carried him to bed. He chanced Ciel to his night clothes, tugged him in the bed and then crawled next to him, again taking his love to his arms. Ciel even in his dreams snuggled closer to his servant and loved one. Sebastian stroked Ciel's hair gently and just laid there listening the steady breathing of his little one. Before he let himself to sink into unconsciousness he tightened his hold on Ciel little bit and whispered to the night:
- Truly little one you'll never have to be jealous over me. I love you too much to love anything else in this rotten world.
Thank you so much for reading and if you have time please rewiev and tell did you or didn't you like it and if you noticed any grammar mistakes feel free to point them out, english is not my mother tongue so I try to improve it. And please if you have any hopes or ideas how I could improve this storie or you would like me to continue it somehow please let me know! :3
Love, Roo
