A/N: OK, so I wrote this quite a long time ago, and the writing truly makes me cringe. But I thought, what the heck! You guys might squeeze some enjoyment from it. ;)

...

Honestly, all Arthur had wanted was a nice relaxing hunting trip to get his mind off of courts, and kingdoms, and kings in court. All he'd asked for was one day. One day! Where he could simply be a man, a man engaging in the natural, therapeutic pastime of aim, shoot, kill, and get Merlin to skin and cook while one rests in the shade. Yet, as Arthur had waited out in the courtyard, his breath puffing out as clouds in the early morning air, his manservant had apparently decided to allow no such thing for Arthur.

Turning at the sound of clashing metal and heavy breathing, he stifled a yelp at the sight in front of him. Fully decked out in heavy metal armor, which shined threateningly in the moonlight, Merlin was armed to the teeth. The metal hauberk fit surprisingly well on his skinny frame, the Pendragon crest displayed on the breastplate, and his boots clanged loudly on the cobblestone courtyard as he approached. A great sword hung from his back, somehow accompanied by a formidable looking crossbow, and several bolts. One gauntlet covered hand rested lightly on the sword at his hip, while the other swung loosely at his side, occasionally grazing what looked to be a long dagger. Several throwing knives sat in a row on his belt. His red neckerchief was tied around his head, a slight silvery scar running down his cheek out from under it, which Merlin had obtained from their last exploit. Momentarily stunned, and then irritated, Arthur spoke first,

"Merlin?"

"Yes, sire?"

"What…the hell?" he said calmly. Merlin cocked his head with an expression of confusion,

"I prepared for our hunting trip. And I brought something for everyone this time," grabbing the crossbow, he said, as if explaining to a small child,

"Bandits," putting that away, he unsheathed the sword partway,

"Giant magical beast," the great sword,

"Giant hairy magical beast," knife,

"Sorcerer," throwing knives,

"Insane sorcerer," and finally he pulled out a small bag that seemed to be filled with some kind of powder out of his boot,

"And sedatives, just in case one of us is in pain," smiling cheerily, Merlin pretended not to notice Arthur's more than slightly obvious wince,

"Off we go!"