The Letters

Dear Mello,

I caught Kira. Thank you for your help in the Kira case. After we caught Kira, the SPK has since been disbanded. Roger has begun to help me with things. He in a way, has become what Watari was for L. Roger and I don't talk to each other much, he's not happy about working with me. I would request you to work with me, but unfortunately with our circumstances we cannot. I never understood why you wouldn't work with me, I have always challenged you to do better.

Sincerely, Near

Dear Mello,

Roger left me. I managed to make him so mad that he left. Everyone is gone and I'm here writing these letters to you. I hate you. You left me for the second time; this time you're gone forever and I feel I may never forgive you for it. Back at Wammy's House when you left I knew I would see you again. I hate you for taking my hope away from ever seeing you again now, I always cared about you, always worried. I did my best to watch you and keep you out of serious trouble, why do you think you never died before? Your brains? You have put yourself in situations that should have gotten you killed. I was always in the back doing everything I could and this is how you repay me?

Sincerely,

Near

Dear Mello,

I miss you, I think back to our time at Wammy's. I try to come up with ways that could have changed what happened, to have worked together the whole time. Maybe if I had talked to you about a plan. Maybe if I wasn't so wrapped up in the case I could have seen what you were going to do before it was too late. I have acquired the picture I had given to you, every time I look at it I can't help but to think I could have done more. I should have done more. Everyone who knows you knows how stubborn you are and how difficult you can be to work with; but I know there had to have been something I could have changed.

I miss you,

Near

Dear Mello,

It's been a month since I wrote a letter to you. The only reason I'm doing this is the therapist i had said it would be a good way to cope with your death. She was a stupid therapist, writing these letters has only made it worse for me. I've got it in my mind that this is the only way to be close to you now. I haven't touched a case in months. You would be so disappointed in me, I don't eat or sleep. I've pushed everyone away, no one counts on me anymore and i feel so alone. I've lost so much interest in everything, what have I done to myself? I need to go back to solving cases and taking care of myself but what's the point? I'm left to my own thoughts, I have no one so what would it matter? I'm not L, I want to be L and everyone thinks I'm him but I never will be. Together we could have been L, we balanced each other out perfectly. I can't stop thinking about you Mello, what we had. Every time I go to do something I feel you there, I can still feel the ghost of your kisses on my lips. I can't stop the feelings, I can't get away like I want to. I need you Mello, I really need you now.

Love,

Near

Dear Mello,

Roger checked up on me a week after I wrote the last letter, him coming back was my wake up call. I've realized I am needed and even though you are gone, after being such a big part of my life, I can move on and be ok. I've started solving cases again and that has made me feel a lot better. I have apologized to Roger and made it up to him so he is willing to work with me again. I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm finally seeing that. I'm thankful that I was able to know you and I guess this is my letter letting you go. Mello, you will always be in my heart and I will have bad days missing you but always come out of them. Thinking back at our times together I can smile and not shed tears from the memories. I bid you farewell.

Forever Love,

Near

After Near finished the last letter he put it in an envelope like the others. After putting all of his letters to Mello in chronological order he tied them together with string. Roger looked over and watched as Near left into his room for a several minutes. Once he came out Roger was surprised at the sight in front of him. Near had slicked back his hair, put on a suit and dress pants. "You clean up well." Roger noted out loud. Near didn't respond as he walked over and carefully picked up the letters. He looked them over and sighed remembering the process of writing them. "I will be back in a couple hours Roger." At that Near walked out and made his way to the cemetery. On his way he stopped by a flower shop and looked around, after a few moments he purchased a single yellow rose with red tip. The woman smiled at him and watched as he left before helping the next customer. On his walk, Near looked up at the sky thinking back to when he and Mello would lay under a tree at Wammy's and talk. Once he passed through the iron gate of the cemetery he immediately saw Mello's grave. Slowly walking to the grave, Near pulled the letters out of his coat pocket. "Hello Mello," Near looked up passed the sky, "it's been a year since your death." Looking back to gravestone, "I'm here to finally say goodbye to you." Near kneels down and places the letters over the grave with the rose on top. "I have these for you, even though you will never read them; they are my goodbye to you so I can move on." Near stands, "I shall see you when my time finally comes." Near slightly smiles as he starts to walk away. Walking back to the life of solving crimes with Roger by his side.

~ARO