Little oneshot made for the HC-Bingo on LJ. Enjoy! Review and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: The Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Charlaine Harris.


The Witch, The Viking and The Wardrobe

Yes, she had Dermot and Claude's help to clean her attic. But there was an old wardrobe inside the room not even them were able to move. And there was no key to open it and take the contents out so the piece of furniture could descend to the living room, where all its others attic's companions were.

"And now that." She rolled her eyes in frustration as she ran downstairs to call Jason.

The phone rang five times before her brother picked up.

"Hey, Jason, do you happen to know what's inside that old wardrobe grans had in the attic?"

"Wardrobe? No, sorry, Sook, I never really paid any attention to what was in the attic."

She sighed.

"It's okay, I guess. Thank you, anyway, Jason."

"Found out how many rocks are hidden inside that thing?" Claude's bored voice reached her from the floor above.

"No." she hated to admit.

"I won't move this thing, just so you know. My back is already hurting enough."

"You're just a doll, Claude, thank you."

"Niece, I'm afraid he is right." Dermot decided to voice his opinion.

"I know, I know. I'm not asking you to move it. I'm just frustrated, that's all."

They nodded at her and went showering. It was already time for them to hit the club.

She decided to call Amelia. Her witch friend, differently from her brother, answered her on the first ring.

"Hey, Sookie! It's so nice to hear from you! What's up gal?"

"I have an ancient wardrobe that won't move nor open. Any thoughts?"

"I was already heading there, anyways. Are you going to be home tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, tomorrow is my day off."

"See you, then!"


Sookie woke up early the next day, anxiously waiting to Amelia to arrive. When she heard her car pulling out on her drive way, she ran to the door.

"I'll come in, don't worry." Amelia laughed.

"I have a bad feeling about this wardrobe, Amelia."

"Okay, we're going to check it out."

She dropped her luggage on the already packed living room and followed Sookie upstairs and into the attic. The piece of furniture was really impressive, she would give it that. It was old, but very well conserved, in dark wood and full of beautifully carved details, like flowers and angels.

"This must be really old."

"Try to open it, please."

"Okay, okay. You are too nervous, I'll tell you that."

She made a circle with candles, surrounding the whole wardrobe and closed her eyes. The enchantment's words came easily out of her lips. When she was done, the doors cracked open.

Followed by Sookie's loud scream.

Amelia quickly opened her eyes and watched as human bones fell out of the damned thing.

"Your family sure is… unique, Sook."

"Unique?" she was on the verge of tears. "I'm so tired of it all. My brother is a werepanther, my boyfriend is a vampire, my two last familiars are fairies, my boss is a shifter and my best friend is a witch! Why, Amelia, why?"

"Hey, calm down, Sookie."

She was such a loud broadcaster, but now, Sookie couldn't even read the expressions on her face. She was just so upset!

"Who do you think put these bones here?" Amelia asked, trying to make her friend calm down.

Sookie hugged Amelia, sobbing softly as the tears ran through her cheeks. But as suddenly as she succumbed in her friend's arms, she let go, wiping the tears with her hands.

"I have no idea, but it definitely won't be me to give an end to them." She was furious. "My closet has no skeletons! None! And I won't have them literally."

Amelia felt like laughing as she heard her best friend screaming at Eric's answering machine.

"You better come in here first thing after dusk, because I won't pick that up. For all I know, you placed that inside my wardrobe, so you better take your sorry Viking ass here and disappear with that! I don't wanna know how you'll do it, just do it!"

However, the worst was seeing Eric Northman, that huge Viking vampire, doing exactly as Sookie told him to.

"It's just unbelievable." She mumbled to herself. "Hey, Sookie, there's definitely other skeletons in your closet, especially the ones involving this vampire boyfriend of yours."

But all Sookie did to her was smile.