Look at me. Look at my face and my hair and my clothes. Beautiful aren't I? I always thought so. Everyone always told me that I was beautiful, growing up. I would get up every day and do my hair and makeup just perfect so that I was sure to turn heads. I adored being beautiful, but never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that it would ever present a problem for me. I lived 23 years of a perfect life before my beauty brought about my downfall. I was 22 when the trouble really started…and I was 23 when I died.
I guess I should start my story with myself. My name is Victoria Page. I lived a very privileged life in my lovely hometown of Essex, Connecticut. I was an only child. My mother was a stay at home wife and my father was a rich businessman, so needless to say, money was never an issue. Lucky for me, my parents were never the type to try and control my life. They didn't try to arrange a marriage for me or anything. My father owned a restaurant in town, so the job for me to work there as a waitress was always open and I took that job the day I turned 18. I worked there for four years straight. It was in that restaurant that I met the man of my dreams and my life took a dramatic turn.
It was almost 6:30 at night on Wednesday, March 17th, 1927. It was a slow day and I was sitting behind the main desk looking at my reflection in the back of a spoon, fixing my hair. I was so distracted I didn't even hear the door opened and I was startled when I heard someone speak. "You know, you don't need to check your reflection. You're beautiful enough already." I looked up to see one of the most handsome men I had ever encountered. He had dark blond hair and deep blue eyes. He was wearing a simple, but very good looking suit and his smile made my heart melt at once.
"Oh, I'm so sorry sir, do you have a reservation?" I asked, immediately wish I hadn't. The man looked around at the dozen or so empty tables and laughed. "No, I just wondered if you had an open table for two." I stepped away from the desk, grabbed two menus and led him to the nicest table, right next to the window.
"Here you are sir. When your guest arrives, I'll bring both of you some water." I was stumbling on my words, embarrassed. "Very sweet of you, dear, but I don't have a guest." He smiled that charming smile at me again. I was confused. "But you said you needed a table for two." "That's because I was hoping a certain young waitress would join me." It took a few minutes for this sentence to register in my mind. "Oh! Well, I guess I could sit down with you." I glanced at the clock on the wall behind me. "My next break starts in 3 minutes anyway." The man got out of his seat and pulled out my chair for me. "What a gentleman." I thought. I sat down and placed my napkin on my lap, as any well brought up lady would do. I was slightly nervous and didn't know what to say. We sat in silence for about a minute until the man spoke up. "I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Julian Baynes. I'm a car salesman from out of town." "Baynes? Are you related to the senator?" I asked. "As a matter of fact, I am. He's my brother." He responded. "Well, my name is Victoria Page." I said, offering my hand to him. "It's a pleasure, Victoria." He pressed his lips to my hand, sending chills up my spine. There was more silence as we both looked out the window, admiring the scenery. "That is a beautiful mansion up there." He said, gesturing to the big house up on the hill. "That's Echo's Hill. The house has been abandoned for years, but people love to go up there still." "I would love for you to take me up there sometime." I blushed and grinned childishly at him.
We sat for almost 2 hours, talking about our lives and learning about each other. I learned that Julian was 28 years old. He told me about how he grew up in Massachusetts and moved to Connecticut with his brother when their parents passed away. I also learned that he and his brother, Edward lived together not far from Essex. We enjoyed each others company long past the restaurants hours, but my father didn't seem to mind it. It was close to midnight when Julian offered to walk me home. After the wonderful evening I had spent with him, how could I resist? We finally reached my house a little after midnight. He kissed me on the hand one more time before departing, but invited me to go out to lunch with him again the next day. I never believed in love at first sight, but Julian changed my mind in one night.
Over the next few months Julian and I would spend all our time together. It was so romantic. He took me to dinner at the best restaurants in town and to shows at the local theater. I always thought it was really sweet because he was not particularly fond of shows, but he would put up with them because he knew I loved them. He would usually just sleep through them, but I didn't care because it's the thought that counts. I felt so wonderfully close to him and every minute I was with him, I could feel myself falling deeper in love.
One night, he took me to his house to meet his brother, Edward. He was very much like Julian. They had the same face and the same blue eyes. The only real difference was that Edward's hair was dark brown, instead of blond. Edward was a very interesting man. He was very friendly and funny. Come to think of it, if I wasn't head over heels in love with Julian, I probably would've fallen for Edward. He was just as much of a gentleman as Julian; maybe even more. Although, I had to admit, Edward did seem a bit worried about me and Julian being together. He said Julian had a rather unpleasant history of drinking, which I already knew. I never seemed to think of it as a problem, but Edward seemed to think otherwise.
We went back a few more times over the next few months and spent afternoons together, me, Julian and Edward. Edward and I became very good friends. But after a while it was getting harder and harder to see Edward or Julian.
It was nearing the end of December when my father started to do what he did every year: plan my birthday gala. My 23rd birthday was December 22nd and every year, my parents would throw an enormous party for me at our home. I was never exactly thrilled about them because I always liked simpler things, but this year I was much more excited because I was finally going to introduce Julian to my parents. I knew they would like him. He was a very kind, loving, respectable man and I didn't see anything they could find wrong with him. He was perfect. About a week before my birthday party, Julian and I were at dinner and I finally brought up the topic of meeting my parents. "Do you think you'd be comfortable meeting them?" I asked. "Well, of course. I plan to spend the rest of my life with you Victoria." He said, taking my hands. "I think your parents deserve to know who I am and how much I love you." I smiled widely. He was so sweet to me. For some reason that day, Julian was in a rush to get back to work, so after promising me that he'd be at my party, he kissed me and ran out the door.
My party came. My party ended. I sat on my front steps crying my eyes out all night that night because Julian never showed up. I had no idea why he didn't come after he promised he would, but my mind was too fogged up to seriously give it thought. Finally at about 5 in the morning, I got up and was ready to go inside when I heard a faint voice calling my name. I turned around to see none other than Julian staggering up the path to my front door. I felt even more heartbroken than the night before. He was drunk! I should've known. I cursed myself for not seeing the signs. The man I loved so dearly was out who knows where, drinking when he should've been with me, meeting my parents and celebrating my birthday. I ran down the stairs to meet him and he almost collapsed on top of me. I held his shoulders to steady him. He seemed to be sobering up, but I couldn't tell for sure. He looked me directly in the eyes, or as directly as he could in his current state, and apologized. "Victoria…I'm sorry I didn't come to your…p-party…I really am sorry." I closed my eyes, still holding onto him, worried about him falling. He reeked of alcohol and cigar smoke. I knew what I had to say. "Julian. I can't do this anymore. I love you more than anything, but I can't love a wayward man. If we are ever going to have the life we dreamed of, you are going to have to straighten your life out first. I'm sorry, I have to go." And without another word, I turned around and ran inside.
That whole day, I wouldn't sleep, I wouldn't eat. I just curled up in my bed and cried. I couldn't believe this. I wish I hadn't left Julian, but I knew I couldn't be disappointed like this again. I was so sad and so lonely, but I needed a break, so I decided to take a long walk. It was late at night by this time, but I didn't care. Wherever my feet took me, so be it. I walked and walked, not knowing where I was going until I got there. Ironically enough, I ended up at the front door of Julian and Edward's house. I didn't know what I was doing, but I instinctively raised my hand and rang the bell. I waited for about 2 minutes when Edward answered the door. "Victoria? What are you doing here at this time of night? What's wrong?" I just shook my head and stared at my feet. "Edward, I've just had a terrible experience. May I come in?" "Of course!" he said, moving aside. So, for the next hour or so, I sat in his room telling him everything that had happened. I cried on his shoulder for most of the time, but he never seemed to mind. He was a great listener and that was exactly what I needed. I felt so terrible. I felt used and broken, and the worst part of it was, I still loved him! Despite everything that happened, Julian still plagued my mind through every second of tears and I never wanted him to go.
Edward kept me company as I lay on his bed, pouring my heart and soul out to him. Occasionally, he would bring me glasses of wine. I almost felt safe in his arms, as if he were some kind of miracle sent to me in my moment of need. I was so emotional and confused and my head was started to feel fuzzy from all the wine, I had no idea that I would be in the situation I was going to get myself in next. I stopped crying for a moment and looked at Edward. His eyes seemed to pierce mine, as if he could see the pain and heartbreak in my soul. He smiled at me and my spirits seemed to lift somewhat. Just then, he leaned his head in closer to mine. Some part of me knew what was happening but there was another part of me that wasn't thinking at all.
I tilted my head towards his until our lips met. Everything seemed to disappear in a whirlwind of color and sound. It wasn't exactly the wonderful feeling like when I was kissing Julian, but it was sort of a comforting feeling. The kiss lasted a good two minutes before we finally separated. As we parted, I knew what I had done was wrong. I felt a surge of guilt and doubt as I looked at Edward. I was slightly frightened to see the look of hunger he had in his eyes. Next thing I knew, we were kissing again and I was laying flat on my back against Edward's bed. I closed my eyes tightly, wishing that everything would just disappear and I would be home in my own bed again. Willing myself to tell him to stop, I opened my mouth to protest, but nothing came out. I was stunned silent and he just took my open mouth as an opportunity to start fiercely kissing me again. I grit my teeth and sucked in all my breath as I felt his lips trailing down my neck.
~V.J.E.~
A bright ray of light crossed my closed eyelids. I slowly opened them to look out the window next to me. It was morning and I was still in Edward's bed. I rolled over to see if he was there, but sure enough, he was gone. I sat up with the sheets draped all around me. Of course, I was completely naked. I hugged my knees and lowered my head as tears started to roll down my face again. I couldn't believe I had let this happen. I had betrayed Julian and myself. And then it hit me, Julian and Edward shared a home. What if Julian had come home while everything was happening last night?
I got dressed as fast as I could and scrawled a quick note to Edward, saying this would be the last time he would ever see me. I ran down the stairs and felt my heart shatter into a million microscopic pieces as I entered the kitchen to find him sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in his hands, staring at the wall opposite him. He had a sad, blank look on his face. I walked up to him and he turned to look at me, trying his hardest to muster a smile. "Oh, Julian….I….I don't know what to say…" He held up a hand to stop me. "There's no need to say anything Victoria. I understand completely. Look, I love you dearly and I made a mistake. Now, I'm paying the price I deserve. It's not for me to judge what you should or shouldn't do." He rose from his seat. "I have to go to work. I'll see you around."
He kissed me gently on the forehead and I felt the familiar fluttering feeling in my stomach and then, he was gone. I stood in the empty kitchen, staring at the door that Julian had just left through. I wanted him back in my life; there was no question about it. I loved him more than anything, and no amount of passion that Edward could've provided would ever change that. Just then, I heard the door open again and heard Edward's voice calling up the stairs for me. As quietly as I could, I left through the back door. I was about to run when I heard someone speaking to my right. I look and saw a middle aged man sitting in a chair in his yard. "So, you're the little lady these boys have gotten into so much trouble over, hmm?" he said, with half a smile. I looked confused. "I hear them yelling all the time. Julian's always worried he's gonna lose you to his brother if he does one thing wrong. And Edward doesn't deny how much he wants you. It causes a lot of bad blood between them." I was actually surprised to hear this news. "How come Julian never said anything about this?" I thought out loud. The older man scratched his stomach and shrugged. "Probably because he didn't want you getting worried. That boy has it bad for you, miss. I can tell. Just know something, young lady, whatever Edward has said about his brother, I can guarantee that it's not half as bad as what he is himself." Wondering what he meant by that, I felt yet another sharp pain in my heart as I uttered a small thank you and ran home.
For the next few weeks, I tried desperately to get my life back to normal. Edward, however, made this hard. He sent me flowers practically every day. He also sent me notes confessing his undying love for me. As flattering as they were, I couldn't bring myself to even respond to them because I knew that I loved Julian and that's how it was going to stay. Even still, I couldn't deny the fact that I was ashamed of myself, no matter how hard I tried to bury the guilt. I felt as if I wasn't the person that Julian knew, or thought he knew anyway. I just had to do something to get Julian back, but I knew it would take time. After a while, I decided to take the advice of my peers and do something for myself to try and feel better. So one Friday afternoon, I decided to go to the theater downtown and see the opera that was playing there.
When I got to the theater, I went up to my family's reserved seats and looked at the empty seat to my left. I felt a sharp pain in my heart. That seat was where Julian sat when he came with me. It seemed like centuries ago in my memory. Suddenly, right before the curtain rose, I saw him! Julian was sitting in the opposite box all the way on the other side of the theater, but I knew it was him. He was staring fixedly at the stage, almost as if he knew I was sitting here and didn't want to look at me. Wondering if that was the truth or just my paranoia, I waited for the show to end so I could finally get the chance to speak to him.
After about 2 hours, the crowds started to depart for home. I ran as fast as I could to the lobby, hoping to catch Julian before he left. He was about to walk out the door when I yelled his name as loud as I could. He turned, saw me, and his face broke out into a huge smile. He looked almost relieved to see me, which made me feel a lot better. We stood in silence for a few minutes, just staring at each other before he took me in his arms and embraced me as tightly as his arms could grip. "Oh Victoria, dearest, I thought you would never speak to me again" he sounded like he was crying, but I didn't want to lift my head from his chest to see. I was finally back where I belonged. All of a sudden, he jerked me away from him and looked into my eyes seriously. "You have to get away from here soon." he said. "Edward was here with me and if he sees you, you are never going to hear the end of it." I narrowed my eyes. "I don't care anymore, Julian." He shook his head at me, urging me to go. "Fine, but we have to get together soon. We have so much to clear up." He agreed and over his shoulder I saw Edward pushing his way through the crowd to reach his brother. Praying he hadn't seen me yet, I whispered to Julian. "I'll meet you up at Echo's Hill, that old mansion tonight at 1 o'clock." He nodded and I hurried away through the sea of people.
~V.J.E.~
That night, I felt more joyful and confident than I had in weeks. My hair was perfectly in place and my lips were a beautiful shade of plum. I gazed at myself in the mirror and giggled girlishly as I felt my stomach fill with butterflies. Everything was going to be alright now. Edward was gone forever and Julian and I were going to live happily ever after. I pulled on my white coat and gloves, crept out the door as quietly as I could and rushed up to Echo's Hill. As excited as I was, I couldn't help but feel like I was being followed as I skipped along the dark streets, but every time I looked back, there was no one in sight. After a 10 minute walk, I reached the bottom of the hill. I looked anxiously up at the old house, seeing the regal glow it gave off in the moonlight. My heartbeat quickened with every step up the hill I took and when I finally made it to the top, my head was swimming. I walked along the path that led to the side and back of the mansion. "Julian?" I whispered. A dark figure standing about 20 feet away turned to face me. Once I saw him, my heartbeat slowed to its normal pace. All was right with the world again. Julian and I ran to each other and hugged.
It felt as if my arms refused to let go of him. Tears streamed down my face, messing up my expertly done eye makeup. I felt him take a sharp breath and looked up into his face only to see that he was tearing up as well. "Victoria, I regret everything I've done. I'm quitting drinking for good, I swear. I'm getting help and everything. And I'm going to move out of my brother's house and buy my own place out in the country. Everything is going to be better now, I promise." I smiled and stroked his face. Despite him lying to me before, I believed every word he said. I opened my mouth and choked, "I'm glad." "And I want you to come with me. You can quit working at your father's restaurant and we can find you a job close to our home." His eyes twinkled with anxiousness and excitement as he awaited my answer, but a new flood of tears started from my eyes and all I could do was nod. He smiled that enchanting smile I loved so much, lifted my chin and kissed me like he'd never kissed me before.
Just then, I heard a rustling in the bushes. I turned my head to see what the noise was but Julian assured me that it was probably just some animal. I wasn't completely reassured by that, so I took a few steps forward and peered into the woods. To my unpleasant surprise, Edward jumped out from behind a tree, a manic sneer on his face. "Well, well, why am I not surprised? Little Miss Victoria just couldn't bear to be away from her precious Jules, huh?" I ran behind Julian, my heart thumping madly with fear. "And you," he pointed his finger dramatically at Edward. "You don't deserve her! You treat her like shit and abandon her for your own selfish needs. And it all works out in your diabolical, doesn't it? She's just so attached to you. She goes running back into your arms after I was kind enough to show her what love really was!" His breathing was shallow and ragged as Julian raised his hands in surrender. "Please Edward, as my brother, try to understand. I love her and I regret hurting her. I've changed." Edward let out a bark-like laugh. "You couldn't change if your life depended on it. And either way, it doesn't matter, she's coming with me. I'm going to make her my wife if it kills me! Oh, did I say me? I meant you!" "Never!" I yelled. Edward's eyes narrowed like an animal about to leap on its prey. He lunged for Julian, growling like an anger dog, and in a last effort for self defense, pulled a switchblade out of his coat pocket and flipped it open. As he did, a bottle of liquor slid out of his pocket and smashed on the ground. I didn't take any time to register whether or not he had been drinking it tonight. My eyes were focused on the brawl in front of me. "Edward, stop!" I screamed, my voice shaking. Julian swung the blade in front of him, trying to keep Edward at bay. He only smirked and said, "You're not going to win this time, brother!"
Unexpectedly, Edward reached into his own coat pocket and pulled out a small metal object. It was a pistol! He pointed it directly at Julian's face and I felt my heart stop. This was the end. I wanted to do something to save him, push him over or dive in from of the bullet or something, but my legs were locked in place. It all happened so fast, the two shots from the gun echoed into the night as the bullets hit my poor Julian square in the forehead. I screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone, anyone would hear my strained cries. I backed up against the stone wall of the mansion, but I was cornered. Edward turned and made his way over to me and I felt my body go numb. I slid down the wall, crouching in my silk dress. My hands and shoes dug into the dirt. I closed my eyes, waiting for the end as I heard his footsteps stop in front of me. "Open your eyes." He said. I didn't. "I said, open your eyes, Victoria!" I felt my body surrender to death as I opened my eyes and looked up, directly at the barrel of the pistol. He lowered it, so that it was pointed at my heart instead of my face, a symbol of his pain and heartbreak. He chuckled at me one last time, taking pride in his destruction of his brother, and now me. He pulled the trigger, my heart stopped. My eyes fluttered shut...and I died.
So, Nicholas, now you know my story. You are the only one. Now, these dreams of me will stop, because you know the truth. Don't mourn over my death; move on with your own life. Be brave, my friend. And thank you ….
