Disclaimer: this will be for the entire story too. I do NOT own Big Time Rush. If Nickelodeon would like to put the boys up for rent... then I may consider. ;)

Full Summary: Fresh out of break-ups with their first love, both Kendall and Allison are looking for a way to glaze over the heartbreak. They meet in a haze of alcohol and thumping music, the aura of grinding bodies not helping to dilute the situation. Meaningless hookups become routine, hiding their pain behind spontaneous outbursts of lust. Kendall struggles with hiding his secret life from his family and best friends, and Allison ends up smack in the middle of his group of friends unknowingly.


There was an odd sense of solace that settled in Kendall as he drew his knees up to his chest and took another quick swig from the small flask of Jack Daniel's he kept hidden. He couldn't quite place what caused him to finally break down and use the liquid relief he tried to stay away from; maybe it was his recent, sudden break up with Jo or maybe it was finding out that his father was having a baby with the woman he ran off with three years earlier. Everything in his mind muddled together, so he couldn't be sure, and Kendall welcomed the subdued confusion

He sighed, letting his head fall back against the cupboard door and staring up into the darkness. It took a moment for the footsteps to register but by the time he started to get up, the person was already in front of him.

"Kendall? What the hell are you doing?" Logan asked in a harsh whisper, grabbing the flask from his hand as he pulled the larger boy up. Taking a sniff of the liquid, his face scrunched up in disgust. "Never mind. I can answer that myself."

"I just. . . I-I needed a break," Kendall slurred, putting most of his weight against his smaller friend as they made their way back to their shared bedroom. Logan practically dragged him through the open doorway, letting him slump onto the bed before he quietly shut the door.

"What were you thinking?" he mumbled to the intoxicated boy, pulling the covers over him

"I, I don't know. Just. . . Please don't tell anyone about this," Kendall pleaded to his uneasy best friend, their eyes meeting in the dim lighting of the alarm clock.

"Kendall-," Logan started to argue but the desperation in his friends voice forced him to change his mind.

"Please, Logie. I won't do it again." The exhausted brunette nodded slowly, patting his best friend on the shoulder before crawling into his own bed.


The next morning came quickly and Logan was shocked to see Kendall acting completely normal. He didn't dare bring up the night before, especially not in front of everyone at the breakfast table. He did notice Kendall take an ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet above the stove and assumed it was for the slight hangover headache his friend would no doubt have.

Mrs. Knight had stepped in the shower only a few moments before, so James wasted no time bringing up the latest party he needed someone to go with him to. Logan predictably said no and Carlos was undecided as he shoveled cereal from his helmet to his mouth in a rush.

"Kendall? What about you?" James asked, smirking as he saw Kendall's patience wear thin and his resolve fading away.

"Okay, fine. I'll go," he smiled, the gesture not quite reaching his eyes but only Logan seemed to notice that. An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach, after the night before he wasn't too sure a party was what Kendall needed right now.

Hello :) Welcome to my new story. As you can tell, it'll probably be rated M. I'll keep it in T until the second chapter is up. About halfway through, the POV will change to my OC character. But at the moment, its necessary to see the boys first and the start of Kendall's problems. Please review, let me know what you think so far. Its more like a sneak peak than a first chapter and there isn't much info. Sorry about that. Chapters will be much longer though. Thanks for reading.