Operation: Buy Haruhi the Correct Feminine Products
Haruhi sighed as she stared down at the scarlet stain on her underwear. She shook her head and stood up, grabbing a handful of toilet paper and folding it, placing it where the blood, now, no doubt stained the fabric.
Figures, the one day that she wasn't in her own home, she would get her period.
Now she had to ask someone for help. She pulled her pants up, hoping that the toilet paper would soak up the blood for a little while. She flushed the toilet, washed her hands and walked back into the bedroom where her boyfriend was still sound asleep, as he should be at four thirty in the morning. She climbed into bed and kneeled by his sleeping form, gently shaking him awake.
"Tamaki," Haruhi whispered urgently. He stirred but didn't wake so she shook him again. This time harder.
"Tamaki," Still nothing.
"Tamaki!" Haruhi said, whispering as loud as she could without screaming and waking up all the staff that lived in Suoh Mansion #1.
Finally he groaned and slowly blinked open his violet orbs, lifting his large hand to his eyes as he tried to wipe away the fatigue.
"Haruhi, what's wrong?" He asked. Thankful that the room's lights were off and that the sun had yet to rise, Haruhi blushed and leaned down to Tamaki and whispered in his ear.
His eyes widened and he flushed a dark shade of scarlet that matched that of the blood that had stained Haruhi's underwear.
"Really?" Tamaki asked nervously as he sat up, now noticing the small blood stain on his sheets.
"No, I woke you up at four-thirty in the morning because I felt like it." Haruhi whispered sarcastically. Tamaki, too tired to feel upset at the tone his girlfriend had used, simply nodded and stretched out his long arms.
"So what do you want me to do?"
"There's a drug store a few blocks away that's open twenty-four hours a day." Tamaki's eye widened again and he spluttered.
"Can...Can I wake up one of the maids?" Tamaki asked, utterly horrified by what his girlfriend had asked him to do.
Haruhi glared at him and shook her head.
"Fine, I'm going." Tamaki sighed as he pulled off the soft duvet that had been covering his body and shivered slightly as a cool breeze hit him.
He walked over to his closet and swung the door open, looking for something to wear, only having gone to sleep in a white t-shirt and boxer shorts since he felt that it had been too warm to wear his usual silk embroidered pyjamas. He grabbed a simple (but still more expensive than usual) jacket and jeans. Still feeling warm, he left the jacket unzipped and put on his sneakers, hoping that they would let air circulate. Just before leaving, Haruhi walked up to him and handed him his cell phone and his black leather wallet, no doubt filled with millions of yen. She thanked him and reached up on her tip-toes, still having to pull him down a bit, and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.
Satisfied with his thank you kiss, he smiled tiredly and left the house. Not wanting to wake anybody up, he quietly grabbed the keys to his car and left. Leaving Haruhi to try and scrub out the blood stain on the bed.
When Tamaki had agreed to go to the drug store and buy Haruhi some...feminine products, he hadn't had any idea how complicated it would be.
His thoughts were scattered as he stared, utterly horrified at the aisle in front of him.
How could there be so many different kinds of...female stuff?
Kotex, Tampax, Playtex.
Ultra thin, super absorbent, maxi.
Pink, purple, blue.
Wings, no wings.
Tampons, pads.
What the hell?
Which one was he supposed to choose?
Tamaki dug his hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Dialling no more than a single number, indicating that the person he was contacting was on speed dial, he raked his fingers through his hair and sighed. Confused about what to do and freaking out so much that he was close to shaking, he waited. Finally after six long, gruelling rings, the person on the other line answered.
"Tamaki, its four forty-five in the morning. I was up all night working. Call back in seven hours." Kyouya seethed menacingly over the phone to his best friend. As he was about to hang up, Tamaki stopped him.
"Kyouya, please! I'm in a crisis! Mommy! Help!" Kyouya gritted his teeth and let out a shaky breath.
"What do you want?"
"Haruhi's bleeding!" Kyouya raised an eyebrow.
"Is she alright?" He asked, sounding a little more worried than he had liked.
"She's um...female bleeding." Tamaki said, blushing and whispering the last part.
"Tamaki, she's a twenty-two year old woman. Does that really shock you? Because if it does then we have problem."
"No! Mon ami, you don't understand! She sent me to the drug store to gather some...feminine products."
Kyouya prided himself on being stoic, never letting his true emotions show but at this particular moment, he couldn't help it. He let a few chuckles escape before biting his lip to stop.
"Did she really?"
"Yes! Kyouya, I need help!" Kyouya let one last chuckle escape his lips before he sat up in his bed and retrieved his glasses on his bedside table.
"I'm on my way and I'll get the others." Kyouya said before hanging up the phone on his relieved best friend.
"Merci, mon ami!"
#&8&#
Haruhi kneeled on Tamaki's bed, hair pulled back by a bandanna, with a wet sponge in her right hand as she balanced the bucket filled with soapy water with her left. She scrubbed the blood stain over and over again with no avail. All that was happening was that she was soaking her boyfriend's sheets and creating more of a mess for the maids to clean up. It probably didn't help that the soap she had used was nothing more than simple hand soap.
Suddenly there was a weak knock at the door and Haruhi didn't bother to look up from what she had been doing and called out, figuring that it was Tamaki who had returned and didn't want to catch her off-guard.
"Come in!" Unfortunately for Haruhi, the person at the door wasn't Tamaki. It was Hanai, one of Tamaki's maids.
"Tamaki-sama, are you alright? I heard some noise."
Hanai was in a powder blue yukata and at first didn't seem to notice Haruhi furiously scrubbing the sheets since she was rubbing her eyes but once her eyes focused, she finally noticed the scene in front of her and raised an eyebrow.
"Fujioka-san?" Hanai said. Hanai was the maid that took care of Antoinette most of the time and Haruhi knew her the best. She felt relatively calm around her; however, she hadn't expected the person at the door to be her.
"Hanai-san!" Haruhi exclaimed, almost dropping the sponge.
"What's going on?" Hanai asked as she walked further into the room until she noticed the now wet, blood stain on the cream white sheets that she herself had changed the day before.
At first she was worried. What had caused the blood? Then she noticed the small blood stain forming on Haruhi's pants and giggled.
"Fujioka-san, are you having you're period?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah," Haruhi replied sheepishly.
"Did you send Tamaki-sama to the store?"
"Yes," Both Haruhi and Hanai giggled, imagining what was going on with the flamboyant blonde at the moment. Little did they know that what was really going on was worst then what they were imagining. Much worst.
#&8&#
"Tono!" Tamaki gasped and turned to where to voice had come from.
"You guys!" Tamaki yelled, running over to his five best friends.
"Ok, tono, let's just get this over with." Hikaru said, his eye lids were drooping and he was walking in zig-zags.
"Sorry for waking you guys up but this is an emergency! I need help!" Tamaki grabbed Hikaru's arm and dragged him over to the aisle.
"I even came up with a name while I was waiting. Operation: buy Haruhi the correct feminine products! Now help me choose!"
"I don't know which one to choose!" The others followed after the two and stared at the aisle in shock. Tamaki hadn't been exagerating.
"What the hell?" Kaoru yelled, his eyes widening in shock.
"Which one does she want?" Kyouya asked
"I don't know!" Tamaki yelled, tears becoming visible at the corners of his eyes.
"Well, why don't you call and ask her?" Kaoru asked, like it was the most obvious solution in the world.
"I can't! She'll think I'm an idiot!"
Hikaru raised an eyebrow. "But you are an idiot."
"I know that but she doesn't need to!"
"Trust me tono, she already knows." Tamaki pouted and went off to his emo corner.
"Uh...sorry," Hikaru said. He wasn't genuine in his apology, he only wanted Tamaki to come out of his emo corner because there was no way that he was getting out of 'feminine product' shopping.
Just as quick as he had gone to his corner, he was back and nervous as ever.
"Ok men! Let's get to work!"
#&8&#
"Don't worry, Fujioka-san, we'll change the sheets later when everyone is awake." Hanai said, grabbing the sponge and placing it in the bucket, placing the bucket on the ground.
Haruhi sighed and nodded, looking over at the clock on the bedside table.
"I wonder what's taking him so long."
#&8&#
"What about this one?" Hunny asked, picking up one of the many packs. Hunny had been the only cheerful person, already having been up and eating cake when he had received a call from Kyouya.
"I don't know. Do you think she'll like the pillow-y stick with the string on it or the flat pillow-y thing?" Tamaki asked, refering to tampons and pads.
"Uh, well, how would she even use the pillow-y stick thing anyway? Where would she put it?" Hunny asked, naively.
"Uh..." The others turned to each other, too embarassed to answer their naive friend.
"Mitskuni," Mori said, leaning down and whispering the answer in his ear. Tamaki and the twins looked at Mori with complete respect. He hadn't blushed or anything!
Hunny's eyes widened and he giggled. "Really? That sounds uncomfortable." The others nodded in agreement but there was a faint splash of pink across their cheeks.
"What if it doesn't fit?" Hunny asked, not willing to let this conversation go.
"Um..."
"Tama-chan, do you think it would fit Haru-chan?" Hunny asked, tilting his head. Nobody could tell whether he was asking out of naive curiosity or just to annoy Tamaki for interrupting his cake time.
Tamaki's eyes widened and he spluttered embarrasingly for the second time that day.
"W-Why would I k-know?" The others looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"Do you really expect us to believe that after all this time you two haven't slept together?"
"That's none of your business! That's between Haruhi and I!" Tamaki said, blushing so red that he was afraid his face may never go back to it's original colouring. The others were strangely entertained by Tamaki's misery and decided to push him further.
"Hey tono, what kind of stuff do you guys do? Foreplay? S and M?" Kaoru asked, biting his lip to keep from laughing.
S-Shut up!" Tamaki yelled, waving his arms around like a maniac. "I never ask any of you! What happens in the bedroom between a man and a woman is sacred and should not be discussed by anyone else! Let alone in the middle of a drug store so early in the morning!" Everyone laughed but decided that they had tortured Tamaki enough and decided to move on.
"What about this one?" Hikaru asked, getting back to the problem at hand and picking up a purple pack of the 'flat pillow-y things'.
"That one sounds more comfortable. It sticks to your underwear, right?" Tamaki asked, extremely grateful that the colour of his face was returning to normal.
"We know as much as you do." Kaoru said
"Kyo-chan, your studying to be a doctor and doctor's know about this stuff, right? Can't you help us?" Hunny said
"There is nothing I can say. The..." Kyouya coughed, "...feminine products that women use are all chosen by the woman due to their personal preferance. I don't know what Haruhi's preferance is. If anything, Tamaki should be the one to know." Tamaki's eyes widened.
"Why would I know?"
"She's your girlfriend. You've been dating for six years, you've never seen any of her feminine products or anything?" Kyouya said
Tamaki shook his head. "Nope,"
"Okay, forget it, I'm calling Haruhi. I'm tired and I have to wake up early tomorrow...well...today." Kaoru said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
"You're really calling her?" Hikaru said, "Do you have no self-respect? You don't ever call a girl for help on things like this. She'll think you're incapable of doing simple tasks and she'll never let you live it down."
"Who cares, she's not my girlfriend. The one who'll get teased for the rest of his life is tono and he already get's teased by Haruhi all the time so it doesn't matter."
"Kaoru, pleeeeeeease! Don't call her!" Tamaki knelt down on his knees and looked straight at Kaoru, whipping out his most powerful weapon, his puppy dog eyes.
Kaoru hesistated then sighed, sliding his phone back into his pocket.
"Fine, I won't call but we still have a big problem. What are we gonna do?"
"I can call Reiko, she might know." Hunny said, suddenly remembering that his girlfriend might be able to help them.
Tamaki's expression brightened but then slipped into a state of nervousness.
"Wait a minute, it's five in the morning, do you think she'll be angry if we call? She might curse us." While the others didn't completely believe in the curses of the former Black Magic club members anymore, they were still a little apprehensive to call.
"What about Renge-chan?" Hunny asked. The others turned to Kyouya, silently asking his permission to call his fiancee.
"No. She'll publish it that journal that she writes and gives out to all of her fangirl friends." The others nodded, remembering how their otaku friend still wrote and published the Moe Moe diaries.
"Mei...?" Tamaki asked as a last resort.
Kaoru shook his head, "We can't, she's Haruhi's best girlfriend. She'll definitely tell her everything. She'd probably exagerate the details too so we all look stupid."
"You're her boyfriend, can't you convince her not to tell?" Hikaru asked Kaoru.
Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, right. Have you ever met Mei?"
Tamaki shook his head and whimpered. "What are we gonna doooooooo?" He said, planting his face in his hands.
"If we get the wrong thing, she'll send me back but we don't know what to get."
#&8&#
"Fujioka-san, is the drug store very far away because he's been gone for almost forty-five minutes now." Hanai said
Haruhi shook her head. "It's only a few blocks away and I know he took his car. I'm gonna call him. He probably knocked down the pyramid of pickle jars and made a mess or something." She dialed her boyfriend's number and waited.
"Hello?' Tamaki's voice rang through the speaker, trembling slightly, Haruhi noticed.
"What's taking you so long?" There was a short pause before Tamaki said:
"I got lost. I'll be back soon, ma chère, fret not! I leave you now to count the moments until my return!" Tamaki said, trying to act as normal as possible before hanging up.
He turned to the others with a look of sheer panic.
"We're running out of time!" The other racked their brains, trying to think when Hunny suddenly gasped.
"I know!" The others turned to him in excitement.
"Takashi, can you get me a shopping cart?" Hunny said, pointing to where all the carts were lined together. Mori nodded and walked over to the line of carts. While he did that, Hunny turned to Tamaki.
"Okay Tama-chan! I have a plan!" Tamaki nodded furiously, bouncing up and down eagerly.
#&8&#
"He's gone and done something stupid, that's why it's taking him so long." Haruhi said, pacing back and forth while Hanai tried to wring out as much water from the sheets as she could before they had to be changed.
"Fujioka-san, please calm down. He's a man sent out to buy feminine products, now that I think about it, it's not very surprising that it's taking him so long. So, stop worrying." Haruhi turned to Hanai.
"I'm not worried about Tamaki, I'm worried about the poor people working at the drug store." Haruhi said, earning her a giggle from Hanai. Though what she had said was mostly true, there was a small part of her that was actually a little worried about her boyfriend.
#&8&#
The cashier raised an eyebrow at the six men in front of her.
"Do you really need all of these?" She asked, one by one scanning the products she had been given.
"My girlfriend is leaking blood and she needs these so if you would please hurry." Tamaki said
"Is she leaking a water fall?" The confused cashier asked.
"No, just please hurry, I need to get back home." Tamaki said
Once everything had been paid for and put in bags, the six male members of the former host club left the store in relief. They each got into their cars and drove off, glad to be going back home after this incredibly traumatic event.
#&8&#
Haruhi had sent a tired Hanai back to bed, not wanting to be the reason for her to be tired later on. After several minutes of Hanai refusing, saying that it was impolite to leave her master's girlfriend alone at such an atrocious hour, she finally gave in and went back to sleep.
Haruhi now stood in front of the entrance, tapping her foot impatiently. She had put lots of toilet paper to soak up the blood but it wasn't doing any good anymore. Luckily, Haruhi had an extra pair of underwear she could use but she couldn't use them until Tamaki returned so that her only clean underwear didn't get bloody as well. Unfortunately, Hanai didn't have any tampons or pads at the moment since she had run out the previous night and Haruhi refused to let her wake anyone else up so the best she could do was lend Haruhi a pair of pyjama pants. Still, Haruhi was very grateful. Now all she had to do was wait for her boyfriend to finally come home.
Just as she was about to call him again, one of the large, chestnut doors opened and Tamaki walked in. Haruhi sighed in relief and walked over to him. He had a pack in his hands and Haruhi smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek just before taking the pack and running over to the nearest washroom, stopping only long enough to say.
"How did you know that this was the exact one I always use?" Once Tamaki heard the washroom door slam shut, he sighed in relief and slid down the door that was closed so that he was sitting. That was a traumatic experience. He turned his head so that he could see outside of the door still open and stared at his car.
Tamaki had walked in with one pack, however, what Haruhi didn't know was that that was the one pack that hadn't fit in the shoppings bags which is why he had been carrying it.
In truth, Tamaki had bought every single pack in the entire store.
Haha, not exactly how I imagined this to go but I think it's alright. I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes, for some reason, my spell check isn't working. Anyway, this story idea popped into my head a few months ago while I was out of town and I was in the middle of a store so I couldn't write it down since I didn't have my computer with me on the trip nor could I find any pencils or my notebook, I was stuck for two weeks without being able to write anything, including this story (it was torture). Then I got back home and started the story but it wasn't coming out right and I kept working at it and I finally finished it today. Not exactly how I imagined it, the original version didn't have the part where they contemplate calling Reiko or Renge and it involved a very interesting phone call to a pissed off Mei because the guys had dared interrupt her beauty sleep but all in all, I got pretty much everything in it. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review and tell me what you thought! =)
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