Scott's done something stupid and annoyed Derek, apparently. Which is not that strange an occurrence. As it also isn't that strange for Derek to come to Stiles' to complain about his pack's general uselessness.
What is a new developement is Derek's way of exacting revenge on his werechild. Wereteen.
When Scott calls, and he knows it's Scott because Stiles may or may have not programmed Hungry Like the Wolf as his ringtone in Derek's cellphone last week (and Stiles is surprised, and maybe a little happy, that Derek didn't change it right back), he opens with:
"I can't talk right now, I'm fucking Stiles."
He isn't. He so isn't.
"Derek, you son o-" He starts, reaching for the phone.
Derek shuts him up with one of his hands, and keeps going. Stiles' hands go to try and pry it off. Then he just gives up from trying to dislodge the offending extremity, because winning against werewolf strength is not gonna happen.
"Actually, I'm shoving my cock down his throat. Turns out this is the only way to shut him up."
Oh God, the mortification. He blushes fiercely, and ponders if the satisfaction that biting Derek's hand will bring is worth the consequences.
Such as losing an appendage or two. Or his face.
He comes back to the situation at hand (at Derek's hand) when Derek's palm slithers down to his throat, where it scratches lightly with his short nails, before settling in a loose hold. Like a human collar. Stiles feel heat spreading all over him. Derek bares his teeth at him, less dangerous and more quirky, feral and intense in a way that makes him salivate and sweat and want ridiculously and he is so majorly fucked.
"But we'll be having filthy, loud, messy sex soon. Several times. So we can't talk. "
He can see in Derek the moment Scott hangs up on him, probably scarred for life. Stiles can already see how this is gonna get him a play-by-play of Scott's next however many sexcapades with Allison. Because he is bitter and a sucky friend like that.
When Derek closes in on him, caging him against a wall, parting his thighs with one of his perfectly sculpted legs, and crushes their lips together in the wettest, hottest kiss ever, he thinks that it may be fucking worth it.
Also, now he'll have very very graphic stories of his own to overshare and make him cringe.
All things considered Stiles is willing to admit that as far as revenges go, Derek's deserves an enthusiastic A+.