I lie awake again, I haven't slept in 2 days. It's 3 am, everyone's asleep. It's just me and the silence around me. A silence that I start to fear. I would fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming that everything would be like it was before. But when I wake up reality hits me in the face twice as hard so I rather not sleep at all.

Every day it gets harder and harder to breathe, to speak, to eat, to feel, to live. But life goes on as if it never ends. My world doesn't stand still though I want it to. Everybody moves on and I'm trying not to hear them with their good advice. They tell me to carry on but how can I?

Your presence still lingers here. Everywhere I look, I get reminded of you. Even the most ridiculous objects suddenly have your name written all over them. You're still a part of everything I do, in every decision I make, every word I say..

I have to know why I had to lose you. Why He had to take you away. Was I not good enough to live with? Was I not worthy of your company?

With you I could just be me, I didn't have to pretend to be someone different. You were the only one who accepted me for who I really am. You were the only one who loved me for who I am. Now I don't know what to be without you around. Why can't I be where you are? Why couldn't He take me with you? Am I not good enough for Him?

Nothing's the same without you. All the things that mattered before, they don't seem to mean anything anymore..

I hope you can hear me when I say I miss your arms around me, I miss your kisses, your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your touch.. I just wish you were here to comfort me. I used to have you to feel next to me, now all I've got are these photographs where we are having fun and grinning wide, where you hug me, look at me in that special way. But pictures can only capture a moment of your life.

Not to mention all the tears I've shed. But I'm not afraid to cry for you because I know you are worth every single tear. It's hard to deal with the pain you left behind. It's hard to force that smile when I see your mates in school. But I know that if I could do my entire life over, I wouldn't change anything. I would want to get bullied in all the other schools because if I wasn't, I wouldn't have met you and I wouldn't have found you, the love of my life.

I looked outside and saw a beautiful full moon. You loved the moon especially when it was a full one with lots of stars around it. You could stare at it for hours, stay awake all night if you must.

'Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the unforgettable memories, I hold them dear. And you don't have to be afraid that I will forget you because I swear on your grave that I won't. I loved you with my entire heart and always will love you, even when I'm 93 and a pathetic old man, I will still love you.' I said to the moon hoping that Danny was listening to me. No, I'm not hoping that he's listening, I know he is. 'I miss you' I added whispering.

I turned around in my bed and closed my eyes feeling another tear falling down.

'I miss you fucking much'