A/N: Yay! for more angsty emo Fai! Love the song Love the Way You Lie. These lyrics are from Part II or the Piano Version (basically Part II without Eminem's rap) on Rihanna's CD "Loud". Good song. Look it up. There's also a really good KuroFai AMV to Eminem's version on YouTube by uchihapeinangel.
Here we go!
On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright.
I knew the moment I saw you that I wanted you. And yet I couldn't have you. I wouldn't allow myself. A person as wrong as me didn't deserve true happiness. So I faked my happiness. No one knew that I was slowly bleeding to death on the inside.
Except you.
It seemed you could see right through me when I had my highest guard up. You were so damn persistent. I was sure that if you knew my past, you would despise my very being. I could have sworn I was dead when you came to my rescue in Celes. Surely you would turn that same blade that you had just run through Ashura through me as well. But no.
And you wouldn't just leave me there! You went and sliced off your fucking arm! All to save me… I thought you giving up your blood to feed me so willingly was just because you couldn't bring yourself to let someone die. But this…
You should have left me.
I thought you were going to die. I was so scared. Once I knew you were going to be okay, I was struck with the realization that you must have loved me. I had been dreading that. But now Ashura was dead. I had nothing to worry about anymore. You freed me. I used a nickname for you again and it felt so good. So right. I loved you.
I paid the price for your arm, giving up all traces of my past along with my magic. I would start anew. A new life. With you.
Our first kiss was everything it should have been. You were so strong, yet so considerate when you touched me. It felt like you were afraid I would break. You were really the more fragile of the two of us. And when we made love, you always wanted me to feel more than you. I felt worshipped.
It was heaven.
Then this thing turned out so evil. I don't know why I'm still surprised.
We'd hit each other before. It was nothing new. I knew something was different though, when I found myself with a visible bruise. It didn't last long because of my vampire healing, but it was a mark nonetheless.
And I retaliated. I could hurt you far more severely than you could hurt me. I didn't feel threatened at all. Just angry at our fight. Over something so silly, I couldn't even remember what it was the next morning.
We got more aggressive with time. Once, I broke your arm. You took a lot longer to recover than I ever did. Little by little, I let my restraint go, and would fully attack you.
And I still cry every time. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
Even angels have their wicked schemes, and you take that to new extremes.
I've been asked why I stay with you. Blood supply aside, I've thought about if I would leave if I could. I wouldn't. Even through all this evil, you're my angel.
An angel of darkness.
You seem so innocent and caring to everyone, even me at times. I'm the only one who sees the devil bear his fangs.
But you'll always be my hero even though you've lost your mind.
The fact of the matter is you've saved me. You've brought me out of the deepest depths of hell and made me feel alive again. You made me feel worth something.
Nowadays it seems as if you don't really care too much, but I like to think you do. I can't follow your thinking anymore. Your mind is gone.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's all right because I like the way it hurts.
I was having one of my fits. I curled up in the corner of our bedroom with a lighter in my hand. It felt good to feel something again. Sometimes I wished my vampire blood would let me scar. Then I could have a reminder that I could feel without having to do this. But all traces of life vanished from my skin soon after the fire scorched.
You would sit there on the bed reading a book or just watching me. You let me do it. You could have stopped me. Didn't it hurt you to see me mutilating myself? You told me I could do what I wanted, and I wanted to burn.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry , but that's all right because I love the way you lie.
When the lighter would run out in the middle of one of my fits, I would cry and beg for another. You would ignore me.
That night after we fucked (it wasn't love-making anymore), you told me you loved me.
I knew it was a lie, and the fact that it was a lie made me smile.
Now there's gravel in our voices. Glass is shattered from the fight.
I'd never heard your voice sound so inhuman. I'd never heard mine laced with such malice. I moved to clean up the picture frame you'd shattered.
In this tug of war, you'll always win, even when I'm right.
I left, letting you know that you had won. I always did. Even when you couldn't be more wrong.
'Cause you feed me fables from your hand with violent words and empty threats.
You told me it was my fault. I had screwed up again somehow. You threatened to throw me out on the street again.
You never did.
And it's sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied.
We didn't fight yesterday. For some reason that made me feel even worse.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's all right because I like the way it hurts.
I got a new lighter. It was hotter and sharper pain. Last night, you came to sit right in front of me. I couldn't bring myself to look in your eyes. You didn't do anything to make me stop. Just watched as I fed my addiction.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's all right because I love the way you lie.
I cried myself to sleep last night, facing the wall. I felt you wrap an arm around my waist lightly. A weak attempt to comfort, but I felt no comfort from it. You emitted no feeling of love at all. It was a lie, a chance at maybe going back to the way things were. But we both know that's not possible.
But I loved your charade.
So maybe I'm a masochist. I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave.
I started packing my bags this morning. I didn't get through the first drawer of my dresser before emptying my bag back into it. Did I enjoy being treated like shit? I must, because it's how I've treated myself for my entire life. How is it that you can make me feel like this is right?
'Till the walls are goin' up in smoke with all our memories.
Yuuko paid me a visit as I sat on the bed, willing myself to repack my bag. She warned me that something was going to happen today. She couldn't tell me if it was good or bad without collecting compensation, and I told her to go fuck herself, grabbing my lighter.
It was early for it, I knew. I had to. It was my stress reliever.
You smelled the smoke and came in the room. You said those four words that no one ever wants to hear.
"We need to talk."
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but it's all right because I like the way it hurts.
I kept scorching my skin as you talked, pretending not to hear you. You needed to come and make me stop. Show that you care! Or has everything gone?
You talk as if you want to do something, but you never do. I vaguely hear you say I can't use lighters anymore, and I click the lighter again, just to spite you. I sense more than see the vein in your temple throb, preparing to burst and I smile slightly.
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry, but that's all right because I love the way you lie.
Your hand is suddenly jerking the lighter out of mine. I raise my one eye to you, glaring death at you. I know its golden color has intimidated you since my transformation.
You say I need to stop. I raise my hand, reaching for the lighter. You hold it up high, out of my reach.
I glare at you, daring you to do it. You hesitate under my murderous gaze.
I'm waiting for you to do something.
Do something…
Anything…