Chapter One

Mixed Messages

He couldn't decide whether what was before him was ironic or paradoxical. The black/gold/red-motifed 4"x 6" invitation sent to his newly-renovated Brooklyn apartment-slash-bachelor-pad-slash-writer's-cocoon was a physical confluence of simplicity and sophistication—tasteful without being ostentatious, understated but expensive. As his eyes skimmed the contents of the scarlet paper he held in his hand, his head was undergoing its own ministrations. It told him to call and congratulate her, and try to be happy—happy for her, happy for him (though it would be a fucking pain in the ass to do so), happy about the idea that she considered him to be a considerable enough part of her life to even be invited (though there's a huge chance that it might have been Dorota who sent him an invite)-but the pit in his stomach engaged his thoughts in a battle it was sure to win: he cannot be happy for them because the invitation signified the conclusiveness of the end of everything between him and her. The thought of her never being in his life again has become too stark and too definite for him to register any other feeling than bitterness. The knots tightening in his heart mimicked the unmistakeable W and B intertwined and embossed in the invitation he held.

He was halfway through a bottle of Absolut and ripping the invitation to shreds when his phone rang. He considered picking it up but realized it might be her so he leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and waited for the beep and the succeeding voice to resonate in the room.

"Dan? Um, it's me. Serena. Look, I know you're there. I've left several dozens of messages to you which you freaking haven't answered. I need to talk to you. (pause) You have to talk to me, please. I know I hurt you and that you hate me and want nothing to do with me but this is about her and-"

"I don't hate you. I just don't want to talk to you," he spoke tersely.

"Dan. Oh, thank God. I thought you were never gonna answer-"

"Thought about doing that. But then there's a huge chance that if I let this one pass, I would have to deal with several dozens more of your voicemails which would just hassle me as I would have to delete each and every single one of them. I thought that I was making myself clear when I said 'I'm done'".

"As I already said, this has nothing to do with me. (pause) I know she had the wedding invites sent out a few days ago and I'm quite certain that one of them was addressed to you. I just want to know how you're holding up, Dan."Her voice was soft, almost hushed, and slightly cracked. Her concern somehow hit a nerve. He laughed, the sound staggered and bitter when Serena heard them.

"How am I holding up? That's really rich, Serena, coming from you, considering that you haven't so much spoke to me in three years. It's kind of too late to start being my friend right now. But to answer your questions, how about you try recalling all the events leading to your Vegas shotgun wedding, extract the pain and bewilderment I felt when I found out six months later, and add to that the fact that for this wedding, I got invited and I'm in the middle of contemplating whether it was done out of courtesy or to rib me.

"Dan, please. Don't be like that-"

"Like, what? Honest? Frank? Blunt? You lost the right to tell me what to be like a long time ago, Serena. And besides, you've always wanted honesty from me, which, ironically, isn't one of your most prized qualities. But, look! I'm giving it. What the hell do you want from me?"

"You're rambling. You're drunk and you're angry. You're not making sense anymore—and you've every right to be."

Silence.

"Come to the wedding. She wants you to be there. It will mean the world to her."

Silence.

"Dan? Are you still there?"

"I'm here."

"Well, are you listening? She wants you to come."

"That's too bad then."

"What? Why?"

"I just decided to go to Frankfurt for the fair, which, coincidentally, occurs on the same day, so, oops, I can't go."

"Can you please stop making excuses and evading? She wants to see you."

"Really? Now that's even funnier as she knows where to find me and guess what? She never got around to express that desire to see me. And I'm not making excuses. I'm a publisher, Serena, and a damn good one, good enough to be sent to international events every now and then. I'm not some chump who waits around for a girl who can't decide whom she wants. That ship has sailed a long time ago."

"Fine. If you're gonna be like that, then I guess there's no use to get you to come. I don't know why I even bothered calling."

"My sentiments exactly. Thank you for understanding." He clicks the phone off as he grabbed a bottle of Bacardi and took a long swig and a groan.

...

Serena stared at the receiver for a moment before putting it down. She sighed. She didn't expect the cutting words she just heard from Dan. Sure, she expected that he won't be thrilled to hear from her but hoped that he will at least try to be kind to her as he had always been. It wasn't as if his bitterness was unwarranted—he did lose her to Ben when she eloped with the latter and flew to Las Vegas to get married in the Church of Elvis. The whole thing was funny, and legal, and binding, and Dan was inconsolable when he found out six months later. Her best friend had been the one who got him through the mess and picked up the pieces of his heart she left shattered. She witnessed, right before her eyes, her best friend and ex-boyfriend falling in love. It was a reality that deeply frightened her, enough to solicit help from her stepbrother who was already developing a scheme to tear apart the two. They succeeded in the destruction which resulted in being exiled from Dan's life. Her best friend, vindictive as she is, loved her enough to forgive her. She picked up her phone ans sent a message.

B-

I tried to talk to him. He wouldn't budge. Says he's off to Frankfurt for a fair or something on the same day but it could just be him avoiding you. You should talk to him. He's gonna listen to you. I'm terribly sorry.

-S

...

She was traversing the familiar flight of stairs when she received Serena's text. She know he wouldn't take things lightly. Weddings are, apparently, a Humphrey weakness. Aggravating matters would be the essential fact that he left him for her fiancee on a really bad note. But all things considered, she thought it would be a disservice to whatever they had if she did not take a chance at attaining closure. He became, after all, her other best friend and she cherished that more than anything. She lifted her hand and knocked.

...

Dan woke up with a start to the sound of loud knocking at the other side of the door. He staggered to the sink and washed his bloodshot eyes before opening the door.

"Hey, Dan."