No - I have no idea why I did this. Don't even know what exactly this should be. Just popped up into my mind.

Lot of mistakes, because isn't my native tongue. Sorry for that.

Words: 1312

Disclaimer: Rookie Blue and the ladies doesn't belong to me.

What else? Take place somewhere after "Goodnight Gail!" what totally broke my little shipper heart ... So nothing left to say... Enjoy it.

Gail walked through the hallway, her eyes pinned on the case file and she frowned.

"Peck!" she heard her name called from the other side of the room. It was Shaw, who waved her over.

She obeyed. "Do me a favor. Bring this down the morgue"

"But that's where Holly is…" was the only response she had. Oliver looked at her. Blinked, handed it over. "Now, would be great!" he said and left.

With another frown she turned on her heels and marched in the lion's den.

She looked cool and composed..but she wasn't. Her eyes were wandering through the corridors, scanning the faces of those creatures passing her by and her blood rushed through her body nearly painfully. She was nervous? Afraid? Her senses were on red alert… if there would be just the slightest hint of Dr. Holly 'most-wonderful-person-in-Gails-life-ever' Stewart … she would probably … she wasn't sure what she would do, but it wouldn't be pleasant.

It wasn't like …she was avoiding her… like running away or so...more an avoiding her because of being not worth it staying in front of this beautiful woman and seeing her smile or even be loved by her. 'Yeah - yeah… it's pretty much like that. That's good.' she thought and a little smile started on her lips, getting more and more confident with every step she was doing.

"Gail?" the police officer jumped and turned around. "Holly! It's been a while..." 'What the hell I am saying here … it's been a while? Oh, c'mon Peck.'

The forensic pathologist smiled sadly and nodded. 'pretty much six month, 12 days, 3 hours and...way too much time anyway. We're both counting … right?' Gail returned the sad smile.

"Can I help you?" and Gail sighed. 'Help? Like forgive me? Like take me back? Like … I still love you and we can start again?'

"Oliver sent me to bring this to you… he said it's urgent."

"It always is, isn't it?" Holly smiled and took that evidence from Gail.

"Yeah - kind of … is…" she trailed off and just looked in this beloved face and she saw...pain. Pain she was causing to that woman. But she never wanted to hurt that girl again so she closed her eyes a moment, to swallow the pain in her own chest about the realization of that fact that her presence was painful for Holly and cough slightly. 'I miss you Hol, and I need you in my life, Hol. I know I totally fucked it up … I screwed us and everything that held the possibility to be happy … but gosh...I need you. In so many different ways…. ' her heart cried, rebelled, started a riot, threw itself against the bars of her self chosen jail and screamed Hollys name unheard. Angrily she frowned about her self. 'You did this now live with the consequences.'

"Okay…. than…" she began and offered a smile to the dear doctor, that never reached her eyes. "It was… nice to see you….again…Dr. Stewart." she said bravely and took a step aside to get out of Holly's way, presence and …. well, life again and it hurt so much.

"Officer Peck …" she heard Holly's voice again. "Yes?" The doctor stepped closer.

"How are you doing?" It was Gail nearly collapsing on the floor whiningly to Holly's feet about that girl that still concerned about her even after what she did.

"Good.. I am … good...yeah…" she lied breathlessly and Holly knew that the moment Gail wasn't able to hold her eyes. "How about you?"

"Yeah ...good...good too…" Gail felt that lie. "I miss you…" that wasn't a lie - Gail could tell. "a lot actually. Listen ...I was wondering … if we could…I don't know...do something?"

"Something something or just something…" Gail joked half heartedly and Holly smirked about the reference but then the girl in uniform looked at her sober.

"Hol - the last time we talked… you told me you were seeing someone." the doctor locked eyes with the police officer. "... and I don't actually want to destroy this, okay? I messed it up…us. You have been mad with me, what I totally accept and understand … but… I want you to be happy … I obviously can't do that, but maybe that new girl at your side." Gail lowered her eyes and just walked by the girl she loved.

After her shift was over she walked in the penny's not sure why. She wasn't thirsty and also not in the mood getting drunk … but she also didn't want to stay at home with Epstein Diaz and Price, so she was sitting at the bar, drinking a cola starring in the glass and following her train of thoughts.

"I WAS seeing someone…" she heard a voice next her ear. "a doctor...and she was … is amazing, brilliant mind, funny, beautiful in her heart and soul and nearly perfect, good cook, great kisser, better lover…" Gail swallowed. "Okay okay, I got this …."

"No you don't…" Holly frowned and took the seat next to her. "You don't because you are blind about yourself. You royally fucked this up. You and your stupid pride. Did you know how much I loved you? How much I was into this? Any idea what you did to me? Listen Gail I totally deserve a girl that loves me the same way I love her … and I don't care if that girl is a blue collar or a street worker, or a physician, or like you a beat cop. There is nothing wrong with being a beat cop. I never loved you for that uniform, Gail Peck, I love you for that smile, that sarcasm, that beautiful eyes, for being that brave girl, for trying to keep the streets clean and me save….I love the whole package but … it also swallows me, you … you do. You understand this? This is not about not loving you, Gail, because I do…but I need more." 'wow - that was intense'

"So, you break up with her?" Holly closed her eyes and her tongue darted out between her lips to moisten them.

"We had a great time. We had fun, but I will never see her again."

"Why? She is ugly or something?" Holly tilted her head and sadness washed over her face. "I am sorry. I am getting bitchy again. I bet she was beautiful!"

"She was." 'awkward moments with Holly…#4837...and action'

"What happened?"

"We … she was … like a bit too perfect. And in a way not from this world..." Holly explained and smiled on Gails comment. "Not an Officer Awesome than."

"Certainly not." the smile grew wider but faded as none of them was saying something and both remained in silence until Gail turned to Holly and looked into her eyes. "Yes!"

The forensic blinked confused. "Yes?"

"I know what I did to you, how much I hurt you, because it hurt me back. Yes, you totally deserve a girl that loves you the same way you love her. Yes, I know I was sucking your energy, because I miss that warmth inside me, since we broke up. And yes I love you and I want to try this again, and I want to do this, all of this ...because I want to see you happy…I want us happy, because it seems you are the only one I want at all." Gail was a bit surprised by herself, after she finished that little speech.

"Who are you, and who is the Gail Peck I knew …" Holly asked a smirk on her lips.

"Still here, not better but … clever enough to know what's good for me and that is you."