Hi. Please proceed. :3

I own nothing. Not even the clothes on my back. Or do I?

Eight girls just appearing randomly in the world of Naruto is already pretty crack-y. Those eight girls landing in the laps (not literally) and beds (semi-literally…?) of the Akatsuki and living? Yeah, very much a crack story. Add in the fact that the Akatsuki have all turned into twenty-something humans (as opposed to, oh, I dunno, puppets), and this is clearly a romantic crack story. Oh, well. At least it should be somewhat interesting. And maybe a little bit realistic? No? Yeah, we're probably all screwed.

I sighed and turned over, praying my roommates wouldn't decide to be evil and wake me up before noon. Well, I was already awake, but I didn't want to be up until I'd been in bed for so long that my side, back, or the side of my head was sore. Then I would get up and play video games until I got hungry and decided to scrounge up some cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I put my hands out in front of my chest and pushed forward for a nice, refreshing stretch, but they didn't get very far. They ran into something… fleshy. At first I thought my sister or one of my roommates had mentally reverted back to a three-year-old (not a stretch for most of them), had a nightmare, and decided to crawl into bed with me (a stretch for almost all of them, I assure you), but even my flat-chested roommates had a slight bit of padding on their chests. Not to mention I was touching cloth, and said roommates were more apt to wear lighter coverings during sleep, if anything.

I cracked open an eye and gazed blearily at the clearly male figure in front of me. I had to admit, he was kind of cute, in a shoujo anime kind of way. Maybe not quite shoujo, but pretty close. I groaned and rolled onto my back so that any morning breath I may have acquired wouldn't hit him right in the face when I spoke. "If my friends drugged me and convinced me to have sex with you, can you at least help me kill them when I find them?"

"I didn't have sex with you, but I'll help you kill them if you help me pay back Deidara for putting you in my bed." Wait, what?

I turned my head back to him and inspected him - I mean really inspected him. Down to the last detail, he looked almost exactly like Sasori. I say almost because - and, much to his annoyance, I made sure - there were no puppet joints on his neck, arms, or anywhere else. "Did they take me to an otaku convention or something? Cool cosplay outfit, by the way."

"Cosplay?" His voice was still void of emotion, but it wasn't convincing me that he was the real thing.

"You're cosplaying. Y'know, that thing you do when you dress up as a fictional character?" I looked around the room, a creeping sense of dread beginning to form in the pit of my stomach. This wasn't my room - this wasn't even a style of building normally made in America. So unless this was some kind of themed hotel room (it didn't feel like one), or someone had a house specifically built in this style, then…

"I'm not pretending to be anyone. I am Akasuna no Sasori." He was looking at me like I was stupid - understandable, if I was actually in a world where Sasori of the Red Sand was a name to be feared.

"Oh, right, sorry." I'm in the bed of one of the Naruto-verse's most notorious criminals. "Would it be insulting to your pride if I don't freak out?"

"I'd rather you didn't." He got up, waiting impatiently for me to follow suit.

"I agree." I crawled out of the bed, trying not to pay attention to my low-cut pajama top and loose pajama shorts. I was suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed at my lack of modest sleeping clothes, although it probably could have been worse. "I'm Shylah, by the way. So, what are we doing?"

"We're going to find Deidara, exact my revenge for him putting you in my bed, and then we'll take you to Leader-sama." Sasori crawled into Hiruko and went into motion, walking out of the door faster than I would have thought possible (even if he is a ninja).

I followed after him, not really sure how I'd be helping him 'exact his revenge.' "Uh, I don't have chakra, Y'know?"

He neither stopped nor slowed down. "I noticed. At first I thought you just had extraordinarily low reserves, but it's fairly obvious that's not the case. You will have to explain why to Leader-sama when we meet him."

"I was just making sure you knew, 'cause I'm not sure how I'd help you with your revenge." Might as well get this out of the way now rather than later.

"Since you don't have chakra, Deidara won't be able to sense you. You simply have to sneak over to him." Sasori stopped in front of a door that I assumed led to Deidara's room.

"You expect me to sneak up on a ninja." It wasn't a question, and he didn't reply. "What do I do when I get over there?"

"You'll think of something," he muttered as he silently opened the door. "Don't keep me waiting."

I figured it would be about as beneficial to me to make him wait as it would be to make a lady wait on a first date. Actually, it would probably be worse to make him wait. Either way, I silently entered the room.

My pulse was racing as I sneaked my way across the floor. I had to pause a few times to steady my breathing and heart rate. I wasn't sure what exactly ninjas were trained to sense, so I was trying to maintain a normal presence - or as normal as one could be while attempting to sneak up on a ninja.

Finally, I reached the bed where Deidara was sleeping soundly. What am I even supposed to do? Could I mess with his hand mouths or something? I gingerly lifted one hand (with its tongue lolling out) and set it over his mouth. The other hand I set over his groin. I have no idea what I'm doing.

I slowly backed up before taking a running start and jumping. I landed harshly with my elbow in his stomach. Deidara yelped and jerked forward before yelping again and whimpering as I got off of him. I ran out of the room and jumped on Hiruko's back.

"Let's go!"

"Get off."

"Look, I'm not about to be caught and blown up for helping you, so could you at least please just get going? Don't we have to meet your Leader-sama?" I guess I managed to convince him because he took off down the halls. I could hear Deidara yelling death threats, even though I didn't think he knew who had woken him up, yet.

Sasori stopped in front of imposing double doors. "Get off now. Be respectful towards Leader-sama, and maybe he'll be merciful."

"I don't think Deidara is actually responsible for my being here."

"I already figured that out. If I thought he was, I wouldn't bother wasting Leader-sama's time with you. Don't lie, explain everything you know to the best of your ability, and you may be pardoned for infiltrating our base."

I nodded, feeling suddenly apprehensive. In an ideal situation, I wouldn't be worrying because there was no way anyone would kick me out or kill me. Unfortunately, there was no guarantee in this situation - once they learned that I had not only sneaked into Amegakure unaided, but the base as well, I was most likely doomed unless I could convince them that it wasn't worth it to kill me. Even if they decided not to kill me, it was highly unlikely that they'd keep me.

The doors seemed to open on their own, and we entered what looked to be a large meeting room with a central table and ten chairs. At the head of the table sat Pein (Leader-sama), with Konan directly to his right. When we had entered fully, I bowed low as they eyed me.

Pein turned to address Sasori. "Who is this?"

"She says her name is Shylah. I found her sleeping in our base, and she has no chakra." He tapped me with his tail, and I took that as the signal to straighten up.

Pein and Konan both inspected me, and I resisted the sudden urge to shudder. Finally, Pein spoke. "How did you get here?"

I met his gaze, doing my best to seem sincere. "I don't know."

"How do you not know?"

"The last thing I remember before waking up here is lying comfortably in my own bed in my homeland." I didn't want to even try lying to them, but I wasn't sure if they'd believe my story, otherwise.

"Where is your homeland?"

I stared, trying to come up with a reasonable half-truth. "I can assure you that you've never heard of it. It's far away - far enough away that no one there knows that this place (wherever it is) actually exists." It was true. All I had to do was convince my body that I wasn't actually trying to deceive them.

"And what is this homeland called?" Pein didn't necessarily look like he believed me. He could probably tell that I was holding some things back, but he seemed satisfied with what I was willing to share. It probably would have been stranger, in this world, if I'd seemed totally up-front with my information.

I frowned, not sure if I should make something up or not. All three of them, however, seemed to sense that I was stalling, and gave me warning looks. "The United States of America," I blurted out, trying not to give them time to be displeased.

They remained silent, and I explained nervously, trying to put it in words that would make sense in this world. "It's basically like if a bunch of smaller nations, or states, got together and formed one big nation. It's almost ten million square kilometers, and-" I didn't know why I threw that in, but I did.

Pein raised a hand, stopping me. "Your homeland is ten million square kilometers." It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. "And their military strength?"

I paused, realizing that making my homeland seem like a threat might either persuade them to take me hostage or make me feel welcome. "Uh…" I raised my eyes to the ceiling, trying to remember the correct numbers. My eyes returned to Pein when I was satisfied I had accurate answers. "Approximately one million, three hundred thousand active forces, and around eight hundred thousand in reserve."

There was a stunned silence. With military power such as that, it was possible for my country to easily outnumber all of the ninja villages combined. I was suddenly worried that I'd made them seem like too much of a threat. "But, like I said, we didn't even know anyone existed across the ocean."

After another slight pause, Pein broke the silence. "And why don't you have chakra?"

"Chakra?"

"You don't know what chakra is?"

"I've heard of it, but only as a theory. As far as I know, no one from my nation has it. It's likely that, since the theory for chakra exists, someone from your lands crossed to ours." I shrugged noncommittally, my mouth feeling dry and sore from talking so much. "I kind of assumed that everyone here had chakra, since it seems so different from my homeland. Lucky guess, huh?"

"How does your military make up for a lack of chakra?"

I frowned. "Well, no one really knows that we have to make up for lacking something. I suppose with numbers and technology."

"What kind of technology?" Ah, the heart of the matter. How much of a threat would the U.S.A. be if they discovered them and decided to avenge the death of one of their own?

I stared at him for a while before my gaze wavered and I looked down. I glanced back up, looking sheepish. "I'd rather not say. I'm sorry if this comes across as rude, but I don't want to reveal such things about my country. I'm honored that you took the time out of your day to hear me out, but I'm not going to tell you anything that could give you a significant edge over it." I looked down at the ground before bowing low, as respectful as I could manage without falling over. "I am sorry."

Hiruko's tail tapped me after a few seconds, and I straightened. When I had righted myself, Pein spoke. "I see." He deliberated for a while before continuing. "You may stay here for the time being. In return for sleeping quarters and food, you must work on household chores. You will have to see Kakuzu for details. Sasori, you will escort her until you meet with Tobi - hand her over to his charge, as an assignment from me."

"Yes, Leader-sama." Sasori turned to leave, taking that as a dismissal. I bowed again before hurrying to catch up with him.

We walked through the halls, and I did my best to memorize directions and areas of importance. I was so focused I almost didn't hear what Sasori was telling me.

"The members of this organization are dangerous. I suggest you maintain your respectful attitude towards all of us."

I sighed. "I hate being obsequious. It makes me feel… obedient."

"Obedient is a good thing to be in a strange and foreign land. It will keep you from dying."

I glanced over at him. "I've been taken in by a criminal organization, haven't I?"

"You've been taken in by the leader of a country. He also just so happens to be the leader of the Akatsuki. That wasn't my point, however. My point was that, no matter what your homeland was like, I can almost guarantee you that this land is far more dangerous." A reasonable assumption, and not necessarily untrue.

"Fair enough. Are you in the Akatsuki?"

"Yes. Everyone you will come into contact with in this building will either be an organization member or associate. Kakuzu is a member, while Tobi is more of an applicant." We arrived in a kitchen area, where the rest of the Akatsuki members (sans Zetsu) were grabbing breakfast or tiredly sipping a cup of tea.

Most of them looked up at our arrival, and continued staring at me once they realized I was unfamiliar. Kakuzu looked over at me before his gaze fell to take in Hiruko. Kisame smirked at Deidara. "Looks like they found a new blonde to replace you with." Deidara simply continued to glare into his cup of tea.

Hiruko's head turned, addressing Kakuzu. "This is Shylah. She's going to be staying with us. Leader-sama requested your input for work."

Kakuzu inspected me. "What kind of work?"

"She has no chakra, so no missions." Those who hadn't been focusing on me were suddenly inspecting me minutely. "She's probably just going to have to do housework."

Great. I have suddenly become their live-in maid. "I have experience cleaning. And cooking… sort of…" They didn't look encouraged by my hesitation.

The next time Kakuzu spoke, he was addressing me. "What are your wages?"

I shrugged. "I think the cleaning is supposed to cover living costs, and I could be persuaded to add in cooking a few meals throughout the week if simply cleaning seems like it's not enough." I paused briefly at a sudden thought I had. "If I have to clean up blood, body parts, or throw up, I demand monetary compensation. That stuff's terrible to clean." Don't ask how I know that.

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "How much?"

I ran the numbers through my mind, calculating and exchanging ryo for U.S. dollars. "Five hundred ryo for normal floors and walls, one thousand for carpets and ceilings." I did not want to waste time getting a ladder just to clean up blood.

"Two hundred ryo, no meals."

"My original price, one meal every day. I can cook a sampling of a dish, everyone can taste it, and if it's acceptable, I'll cook seven meals a week."

"If your cooking is good."

There was silence, and then I spoke up again. "I'm not wearing my night clothes for the rest of my life."

We had another stare down. "Three meals a day for one month."

I hate cooking. "Two meals a day for a month and a temporary reduction in pay for two weeks."

"Your pay will be one hundred ryo." I don't hate cooking that much.

"No increase in meals, three hundred fifty ryo."

"Two hundred ryo for two weeks, two meals a day for one month."

"Three hundred fifty ryo for three weeks and two meals a day for one month."

Kakuzu studied me for what felt like a long while. "Deal." I was probably mistaken, but I liked to think I heard a hint of approval in his voice.

"What about laundry?"

"If there's any to be washed, it will be in the laundry room. If not, don't bother searching for it. Wash the sheets once a month and make the bed after they're washed. Don't make the beds if you aren't washing the sheets - if they want to be slobs, don't encourage them to be lazy, as well."

"Okay."

"Finally," Sasori muttered irritably. Kakuzu handed me some ryo that I assumed was going to cover the costs of clothes, and I followed Sasori out of the room. We stopped outside of a closed door. "Tobi, Leader-sama has a mission for you."

I heard the sound of hurried footsteps shortly before the door was jerked open to reveal Tobi. "What does Leader-sama want Tobi to do?" He asked excitedly.

"This is Shylah, a guest of ours. You are to take charge of her, and accompany her while she goes to the village to get supplies for herself." With that, Sasori left to do his own puppet thing.

"Hai!" Tobi saluted Sasori's retreating form before turning to me. "It's nice to meet you, Shylah-chan!"

I smiled politely. "Nice to meet you, too, Tobi-san." Tobi rubbed the back of his head bashfully at the honorific. "Tobi-san, I was wondering if we could go to the village so that I can buy some proper clothes."

"Right away, Shylah-chan!" Tobi grabbed my hand, taking off down the hallway. We reached the front door in what felt like seconds, where Tobi allowed me to catch my breath.

I panicked a bit when I started to wheeze, but the symptoms slowly went away. "Uh, Tobi-san, now that I think about it, I'm not so sure I'm… decent…"

"Eh?"

I shifted uncomfortably, looking down at the ground. If it were just Tobi, I might not have been so embarrassed. But knowing who he actually was, as opposed to a hyperactive, slightly clueless missing-nin who definitely wouldn't notice any indecency, was reminding me that I was wearing short shorts and a flimsy pajama top. Modesty had been ingrained in me since I was a small child, and the values had carried over into my adult life.

"Tobi doesn't think Shylah-chan is indecent."

I glanced up, my face feeling hot even though it most likely looked normal. It's a condition, I swear. "I-I don't know, it's just… I mean…" My voice grew quieter with each second. I'd be darned if I was feeling shy because it was Tobi; if it was just some random stranger, I'd be acting the same way.

I jerked slightly when I felt something go around my neck, then relaxed when I realized it was just Tobi's scarf. "There. Now no one will ever think Shylah-chan is indecent!"

I glanced up at him, feeling oddly at-ease, even though the scarf wasn't really doing much. "Thank you, Tobi-san. That was very kind of you." As we started the trek to the village, I felt like he was smiling at me - even if it was just his Tobi persona. I almost didn't mind that I wasn't wearing shoes.

Rather than the more typical shops portrayed in Naruto, Amegakure, while poor, was more technologically advanced. To reflect that, it had a few large buildings that contained the more common shopping amenities, similar to a mall. There were most likely other shops, but this was the place I was led to. It was heated, with an entry area for new arrivals to dry off after walking through the rain. I set off through the mall, determined to make my money last more than just a spare change of clothes.

After hopping around and inspecting everything around him, Tobi seemed to calm down a little bit. He would still run over to things he thought were interesting, and he kept up an almost constant stream of commentary. True to his mission, though, he kept a dutiful eye on me when he wasn't distracted by the various shops we passed by.

I passed by some of the more interesting stores because I wasn't interested in wasting money on things that were unnecessary. I did, however, enter most of the other shops. They all carried warm clothes, cloaks, and waterproof shoes. Rain gear was marginally cheaper here than it most likely would have been anywhere else, considering that it was almost a necessary clothing item.

In the end, I bought one pair of shoes (which I put on immediately), some shirts, two pairs of undergarments, and three pairs of pants. I also managed to scrounge up the ryo for a rain cloak (infused with chakra, it was a soft fabric that repelled the rain so that it stayed dry) and a scarf. I handed Tobi's back to him and put on my rain cloak. I had bought my clothes while he waited outside (to avoid seeing the underwear, because he was a good boy), and the scarf I had purchased on a whim before hurriedly stuffing it in the bottom of my shopping bag.

"Are you done shopping now, Shylah-chan?" Tobi asked when he had finished adjusting his scarf around his neck.

I nodded, glad that the cloak was long enough to cover all of my pajama-clad form (even my head if I pulled up the hood). "Yeah, I am." I counted the ryo I had left over - a small amount, but maybe enough to purchase some dango. I'd never had dango before.

"Great! Should we go back?"

I glanced around. I caught sight of a sweets shop and slowly started walking over. "Do you mind if I see what the food here is like? I can buy you some."

"Okay! What do you want to try?" He hurried past me, and after only half a second I realized he'd grabbed my hand and was dragging me after him.

"Do you have a recommendation?" I asked as we entered the shop. We paused at the end of the line, which was moving surprisingly quickly.

"Hmmm…" Tobi took on an exaggerated thinking pose, still somehow managing to be in constant motion as he did so.

I pointed to the large menu. "What's dango?"

Cue over exaggerated gasping. "Rice flour dumplings!"

I nodded before stepping up to the counter and ordering two lovely boxes of anko dango. Because seriously, I'd had the urge to try it after I'd realized Anko was named after two types of dango. It was like I was eating her without going all cannibalistic.

Well that sounded creepy.

Anyway, after we'd received our dango (and I'd paid), we walked back to the base. It was totally a hideout, but they called it a base. I opened one box and handed a stick of dango to Tobi, who took it with much excitable thanking. I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm - while Tobi would probably grow annoying for me, at the moment his energy was contagious. I nommed on my own dango, taking pleasure in the scenery (and the rain). Gosh, I love rain.

I was still studiously avoiding looking at Tobi when we arrived back at the base. I probably didn't need to bother, but I wanted to make absolutely sure I didn't have a chance to see his face. For some reason, it felt like I'd be breaking his confidence or something.

We arrived at the HQ just in time to hear an explosion. "I don't care what Kakuzu-san says. I am not cleaning that up."

Tobi laughed. "Tobi thinks Deidara-sempai is mad." He giggled before running inside.

I followed after shortly. From my view in the hallway as I took off my shoes, I could see Deidara throwing clay at Hidan. When I moved to get a better view, I was treated to Kakuzu throwing both of them out of another doorway. Kisame was laughing at the two maniacs uproariously, while Itachi just sat in all of his stoic Uchiha glory.

I smirked before moving along, trying to find Sasori's room. I figured he'd know where I was supposed to stay better than Tobi.

After getting lost twice, ending up in the kitchen three times, and turning the corner into an irate Akatsuki member five times, I had finally been directed by a helpful Tobi to the correct room. On a (stupid) whim, I threw the door open (stopping it before it hit the wall). "I'm back, baby!"

Sasori looked up from a puppet he'd been repairing. "Why are you in here?"

"Do you know where I'll be staying?"

Sasori frowned. "Tobi didn't tell you?"

"Tobi knew?"

Sasori sighed irritably before taking out a scroll. "Give me a second to store my puppet. I'll show you where it is."

"Okay, just don't keep me waiting." I couldn't resist.

My room was small. Okay, I didn't really expect it to be huge or anything, but I'd forgotten that the only reason my room back home was larger was because it stored all the video game devices that my sister and I used. Her room was the other large one to store all of her art supplies. The rest of them didn't have hobbies or careers that took up that kind of space. Losers.

Back to my room. I wasn't good at judging size in square feet (or meters, for that matter), so I wasn't sure exactly how large or small it was. But it felt oddly closed-in, as though there was a heavy, invisible blanket smothering me. It was probably just because the room most likely hadn't been used for the longest time.

On the bright side, it had a window that faced north. That northern wind was so gonna be blowing into my room. The bed was a regular twin bed, nothing decorative about it, with a basic set of dresser drawers to the side. Minimalism at its finest.

I opened the window and sneezed as the dust blew right in my face, seeking revenge on me for disturbing it. I reached my hand out and just kind of felt the rain before pulling it in when I remembered that Pein used said rain to see everything in the village. He probably didn't care if I was sticking my hand out of the window, but I get shy when I feel creeped on.

I arranged what few clothes I had in the dresser and took off the cloak I'd been using to cover myself. I hadn't changed out of my pajamas, so that was exactly what I did before exiting my room and searching for the cleaning supplies.

I found them after walking in on Hidan performing a ritual. After running from the room and nearly throwing up, I did a one-eighty in my mind, steeled myself for any future horrors, and continued exploring.

I managed to avoid all of the members after that, and actually found the cleaning supplies. They were in a storage closet that looked larger than my room. I felt like I was getting stiffed on these arrangements. I memorized where it was before walking around the base, familiarizing myself with the new surroundings.

Now that I was alone, I had mental processing to go through. I hadn't had any time at all to process what had happened to me. I chose to think it through now rather than later.

I was in the Naruto world - whether in an elaborate, highly-realistic dream or in actuality, I would have to wait and see. Not only that, but I was also with the Akatsuki. The Akatsuki were, at the moment, all rather apathetic towards my presence. I was even staying with them, cleaning and cooking (shudder) to earn my keep.

That was uncharacteristic. As secretly good-hearted as some (or maybe even most) of them were, they were still criminals. They were used to not just the harsh lifestyle of a ninja, but a rogue ninja. Most of them had lived such lives for years, their hearts hardened almost completely towards anything that brought up sympathetic feelings. Only Naruto could really break through to them on an emotional level, and with some of them, he wouldn't want to.

For them to be polite, maybe even kind, was unheard of in my mind. Of course, it was entirely possible that Pein planned on learning more of the U.S.A.'s secrets by earning my trust. That wasn't unlikely. It was too bad he would never be able to use said information.

I'd dreamed of helping the Akatsuki (at least to survive, if not to succeed), but when it came down to it, I wasn't sure if the Akatsuki's happy ending was the happy ending that I wanted. It was entirely unrealistic of me (not to mention a bit heartless) to continue treating them like fictional characters in my mind when they were so obviously real, but I felt like I had to. I couldn't allow my emotions to be swayed just because I landed on the losing side. Who just so happened to be hosting me in fairly comfortable quarters…

But I digress. Had I landed anywhere else, I most likely would have been planning ways for them to succeed, even at the expense of the Akatsuki. It wasn't fair of me to use my knowledge of this world to screw around with the plot. For all I knew, this was more of an alternate Naruto timeline, and things would go differently.

I had to get back to my world. My little sister was probably crying her little eyes out with worry over me. She's such a worry-wart. The ultimate reason I wasn't allowing my emotions to cloud my judgment was so that I'd be able to keep a clear head and get back to her.

At least, that's what I kept telling myself…

So, to clear up any doubt, this character is most definitely NOT the emotional type. Shylah doesn't believe in life being fair, but she does believe in being fair herself. For now. She's also easily corruptible and tends to be morally-ambiguous. I find that funny because 'Shylah' could be construed to mean various things of ethical affiliations. Thus far, she has had a moment with Tobi, which I am proud of.

She also has six roommates and a seventh... affiliate of sorts. Yes. Exactly what you're thinking. Assuming you're thinking - I don't know you, I don't know what you've been through, I don't even know whether you prefer waffles or pancakes.

Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? Personally, I think, 'Why not both?' But some people need to pick sides. It's a thing that they (or you) do. It's okay. I understand.

Anyway, it's way too late for me to be writing AN's. Or too early. Why not both...?

GAH! Okay, seriously. This is my first FanFic in a long time. I don't know how long. It's been FOREVER. I'm too lazy to move the mouse to italicize, so I CAPITALIZE!

...

Anyway, I'd appreciate a review. You can review to tell me you hate it, you hate me, and you hate my computer just 'cause you can. I don't care. That's fine. Just do me one favor? At least tell me WHY you hate it. That's all. Please? For me? Some random stranger typing to you on the Internet?

I'd also appreciate anyone telling me about grammar or spelling mistakes I may have had. Ideas, at this point, are unnecessary, since I still have seven other characters to introduce. I feel like this chapter had an abrupt ending, so I might have to update this later. This Author's Note is unnecessarily long, but I want to keep going. THE BEAST HAS BEEN UNLEASHED!

Ah, it's good to be back.