Aftermath
By: MusketeerAdventure
Summary: The cost of doing business leaves Bravo Team reeling.
A/N: Not a lot of action; but loads of introspection.
Chapter One: Mandy
Mandy sighed deeply, tightly gripped the hair on both sides of her head and pulled with some force. The self-inflicted pain was brief, but did the trick – bringing her back to the moment.
She was beside herself with frustration, in a sort of panic really; full of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. She rarely felt this way, out of control – and didn't like it. How was it that she was so completely blindsided and caught off guard? How was it that she didn't know?
Clearly derailed, she clenched her mouth shut and ground her teeth from side to side to keep from blurting out obscenities. She could cuss with the best of them, thanks to her brothers, but this wasn't the time or the place. A headache settling at the base of her skull had her left eye bouncing in concert with her erratically beating heart. Massaging her neck, she could feel the tension bunched up in tight little knots. If she wasn't careful, she was going to have a stroke.
A seasoned veteran of solving problems, facing down terrorists, butting heads with men of power had not prepared her for the challenge in front of her that seemed insurmountable. What should be her next course of action? What was the right thing to do?
Heart racing, she gazed over at Jason Hayes and could not contain the catch in her throat. Covering her mouth she pressed down hard, determined to stifle her grief and not let this brief moment of weakness escalate into a sob; or worse, outright weeping.
With some relief, she was glad Jason did not notice her distress. Instead he sat frozen in her favorite arm chair, staring off into space – looking at nothing in particular that she could discern.
Leaning forward, Mandy asked aloud for what seemed to her like the one hundredth time, "Where are you Jason?" Getting no response, she leaned back on the sofa and forced herself to calm down; and listen to her voice of reason. Listen to that inner voice of cool calculation that always pulled her out of trouble, or out of her own way.
That voice never let her down; especially when chaos stormed around her. Right now, that voice was telling her that she needed help. Handling this situation alone was not an option.
Jason was in serious trouble – his health obviously compromised; and his mind wandered off in some unknown place. Rubbing tiredly at her eyes, she recalled the image of Bravo Team practically running off base, ready to go home and reintroduce themselves to wives, children, friends….their old routines of life.
She had been eager too. Glad to accompany Jason to his favorite eating place; and share time with a friend away from the stressors of the job.
Bone tired, Mandy sank deeper into the soft confines of her sofa. Was that really only yesterday – no this morning that they had come home? Landing on solid ground, leaving behind the shifting sand, the duplicity of politics and the horrors of battle witnessed?
They had successfully avenged Echo Team, shut down a human trafficking ring, and cancelled out a family feud of waring drug factions. Home, peace of mind – a break from mayhem is all she wanted.
Mandy stared up at the ceiling of her apartment. They hadn't left behind anything. Peace of mind was an illusion. The proof of that was sitting still as a statue right in front of her – lost somewhere she couldn't reach.
The war had come home with Jason, and as far as she could see, held a firm grip on him now. Nothing she said seemed to penetrate the bubble he was ensconced in. Her worried gazes or pleas to, "Speak to me", did not illicit his signature half smile which always reassured her and spoke volumes without having to say, "I'm okay."
A blank stare or a furrow of the brow was all she got.
Looking away, she pinched the bridge of her nose and thought about the last few hours. It had taken every ounce of her diplomatic skill to convince the manager of the diner not to call 911 after Jason's outburst.
She could tell the patrons were frightened, but then almost instantly forgiving once they heard her harried explanations of, "He's just returned from Afghanistan."
It had taken even more to not spook Jason as she wondered how she was to get him out to her car.
Mandy counted her blessings and felt relief overtake her anxieties. They had been lucky. No one pulled out a cell phone to record how Jason had turned over tables and chairs; lamented with sorrow to thin air or gently bent down to beseech a frightened child – repeating, "I tried to save you", over and over again.
How unexpectedly from a back booth an elderly gentleman, shoulders hunched, hair white with age; eyes a cold steel blue, made his way toward them. Then without hesitation, stood tall within Jason's personal space, and bellowed out with purpose, "Stand down soldier"; years melting away from his countenance, giving his voice strength with the aura of command.
Miraculously it worked. Jason stepped back, and then waited with deference to follow orders. It was the only way they had made it out to the car. Jason confused, compliant, obeying orders from a brother in arms he did not know, from another generation, but who he trusted implicitly.
In the driver's seat, ready to pull away from the lot, she had called out a heartfelt, "Thank you." Remembering now, that she didn't even know her savior's name; only that in her rearview mirror she could just make him out, limping up the curb back into the diner; his commanding nature all but vanished – swallowed up, lost in time.
She would go back; find him – she promised herself. Find him and thank him properly.
Yes, they had been more than lucky, and she was grateful; because Jason was somewhere else in that diner, just as he was somewhere else now, here sitting in her apartment. Talking to people he could only see, and hear; immersed in a sea of guilt that was surely drowning him.
He should have told her the extent of his head injury. She should have at least been more aware, as being prepared was her gift. This she wasn't prepared for.
Fiddling with her cell phone many options began to filter through the noise of apprehension. Her inner voice was finally gaining some traction. She could call 911 – get Jason some medical help; and deal with his wrath later. She could call Blackburn – who would tell her to bring him in; get Jason evaluated and go from there. Or she could call Bravo Team.
Maybe, somehow they could pull Jason back from wherever he was now and once back here with them, they could decide the next course of action.
With only a brief hesitation, Mandy pressed BRAVO on her contact list and waited.
TBC
Thank you for reading! Please leave a review to let me know what you think. Your comments and thoughts mean a lot! Also, thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, followed and clicked favorite for 'Welcome to DEVGRU'. The response to that story is much appreciated!