SAYING GOODBYE
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I wish whoever did would do something useful with them besides making a comic where Scarlett and Snake Eyes are engaged (WTF?!) Sorry all you comic fans! Anyways, I'd like to thank Robert and Diana M. for giving me the inspiration to write. I can't wait for the convention and give you both a great big hug!!!! Any flames with be promptly extinguished. Any other comments my email is misskris721@yahoo.com
The words punched Scarlett in the stomach and she almost doubled over. Duke led her over the couch to sit down.
"You're leaving?" Scarlett asked, her voice faltering.
"It's not like I have a choice. It's orders." Duke nodded solemnly.
"When?" Scarlett was almost afraid to ask.
"Tomorrow. I was lucky to get to stay another day. General Hawk wants me there ASAP." Duke sighed.
"Oh, Duke." Scarlett sighed sorrowfully.
"I wanted to tell you first. I didn't want you to find out second hand." Duke replied tight-lipped.
"Duke, this is so overwhelming." Scarlett tilted her head while looking at him.
"This is the last thing I would have wished for." Duke
"I know. I know it's not what you want." Scarlett replied, mostly to reassure herself.
"I.." Duke began but trailed off as Scarlett put her finger up to his lips to silence him.
"Don't say anything that would make this harder, Conrad, please." Scarlett begged. Duke nodded. Scarlett kissed him briefly and excused herself from his apartment. He was then alone with his thoughts and empty boxes that were to be filled with his things. He was furious at the transfer. He was leaving his friends. Hell, after all these years they were more like family. And then there was Scarlett. She was his best friend…his lover…his life. He hated leaving her the most. Duke began to pull books from his library off the shelf and package them. A knock sounded at his door and Duke opened to find Flint, his best friend and second in command, standing at his doorstep. Duke could tell by Flint's expression he had gotten the news.
"I guess you heard. Congratulations on your promotion." Duke tried to lighten the mood as he invited his friend in.
"Duke, I'm sorry about the transfer." Flint sighed.
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. These orders came from Hawk. Besides, you're Top Shirt now. I know you'll do great." Duke replied still packing.
"It's so much responsibility. I'll never live up to great job you did." Flint frowned.
"Nonsense. You'll be fine. Just keep a head on your shoulders." Duke advised.
"Have you told Scarlett?" Flint asked. He saw Duke's body stiffen.
"Yes, she knows." Duke softly spoke taping up a full box.
"How'd she take it?" Flint asked curiously.
"Not good. I could see it in her eyes." Duke sighed starting to feel the heartache of leaving Scarlett.
"Understandable. I'm sure Lady Jaye will be there to help her through all this." Flint assured Duke.
"It'll be four years soon." Duke sighed indicating the length of his romance.
"Unbelievable. I remember the night you came home from the movies. You had this lop-sided goofy grin on your face that no one could erase." Flint chuckled remembering.
"She's my whole world." Duke sighed sadly.
"I know." Flint replied and patted Duke on the back. Duke was a reserved man that very rarely let on to his feelings. Flint couldn't imagine the emotional hell this transfer was creating in Duke's heart.
"If you could have seen the look on her face when I told her. I never want to make her feel like that again." Duke spoke softly still haunted by Scarlett's reaction.
"It's not like you'll never see her again. There are things called long distance relationships. I am sure she will have clearance to call you and vice versa. Plus you can write letters." Flint offered trying to make Duke feel better.
"It's not the same…" Duke trailed off.
"No, but it's the best you can do in these circumstances. Besides, you know I'll look after her. I know you would do the same for Jaye if our roles were reversed." Flint replied mentioning his own girlfriend, Lady Jaye. Duke nodded. "Now what do you say I help you with your packing?"
"I'd like that. There's so much to do." Duke sighed looking around his apartment. He and Flint continued to pack books from his bookcase.
"Like Stephen King much?" Flint grinned as he looked through Duke's collection.
"Just a bit. After dealing with Cobra, his stuff isn't so scary." Duke laughed. Flint thumbed through one of the books and a piece of paper slid out from in between the pages.
"I'll get it." Duke said and reached down to see what fell out.
"What is it?" Flint asked curiously as Duke remained crouched down staring intently at the piece of paper.
"It's a movie ticket. From our first date." Duke swallowed. He put it back in the book and put it gently in the box.
"Maybe you should take the military up on their offer for packing for you?" Flint suggested.
"No, I want to do this myself." Duke stubbornly replied.
The boys worked for the most part in silence as they packed up the rest of Duke's living room. Flint finished packing up CDs and DVDs while Duke wrapped breakable decorations in newspaper.
"Steel Magnolias, Duke?" Flint asked wincing at a title in his movie collection.
"It's one of Scarlett's favorites." Duke answered.
"Oh, um, sorry." Flint apologized for bringing up the movie.
"Look, why don't we take a break and catch some dinner." Duke suggested. He needed to get out of his apartment. It seemed like everywhere he turned, everything he packed reminded him in some way of Scarlett.
"Want me to call the girls to see if they'll join us?" Flint asked.
"If you want to go with Jaye, I understand. I'll just heat up something here." Duke said a little hurt that Flint would mention the girls right now. Before Flint could reply, his cellphone rang. He answered briefly and hung up.
"Too late, girls are on their way. That was Jaye wondering if we were going to dinner." Flint replied.
"You could have told them we had other plans." Duke grimaced.
"Hey man, why are you wasting the time you got with Scarlett. You know you want to see her, and you should know she wants to spend some time with you. Don't waste what you have." Flint advised.
"It's not that easy. You didn't see her leave in tears." Duke shook his head.
"No, I didn't see that. But you two have to come to terms with this." Flint replied and put his hand on Duke's shoulder, "You're my buddy, and Scarlett's my friend. I don't want to see you two get torn apart like this." The doorbell rang announcing the girls' arrival. Flint went to greet them. Lady Jaye came in first.
"Hey…Duke…" she trailed off with a sympathetic smile. She gave him a hug.
"Thanks." Duke was glad for her support. Scarlett and Flint joined them.
"You got a lot packed." Scarlett commented.
"Just this room. Haven't touched the bedroom yet." Duke replied. Scarlett blushed.
"I'm sure Scarlett will help you pack in there. It's her favorite room." Flint joked to lighten the mood.
"Permission to smack the crap out of your boyfriend?" Scarlett turned to Jaye.
"Permission granted." Lady Jaye answered and Scarlett playfully swatted Flint quite a few times.
"Shall we get going before Flint gets himself into even more trouble?" Duke suggested. They all agreed and made their way to the cafeteria. They all grabbed some food and sat at a small round table. A few joes who were close to Duke and had heard about the transfer came over to ask him about it, but other than that the four ate silently. Scarlett found herself becoming more upset at the mention of Duke leaving to the point of excusing herself from the table for a little bit. Jaye followed her into the ladies room.
"I can't do this." Scarlett shook her head, "I can't stand to see him go like this."
"I can only imagine how hard this is for you." Lady Jaye tried to comfort.
"I don't think you can even begin to fathom how this is for me. Imagine, the center of your universe being ripped away from you. The most important person in your life…the person you share everything with…suddenly gone. I just don't think I'll be the same without him here." Scarlett dropped her gaze to the floor.
"You're strong. You can get through this. You will still be with him, just not in the same place." Lady Jaye soothed her friend.
"I'm just going to miss him so damn much." Scarlett sighed.
"Then stop wasting time in here and go back to Duke." Lady Jaye smiled. She opened the door and she and Scarlett made their way back to the table. Flint nodded to Jaye acknowledging their presence back at the table. Duke was leaned back focusing his attention on his plastic spoon that he was tapping against his tray. Both girls sat down, unsure of what to say. It was clear from the expression on the boys' faces that they must have had a deep conversation while the girls were in the bathroom.
The chime of Duke's cellphone startled them all. Duke answered it quickly. After a few seconds Duke bolted from the table still talking on the phone. He went outside into the hallway, but the group could see him through the windows.
"I wonder what that's all about?" Lady Jaye asked. No one really made too much out of it because many times Duke would receive top-secret phone calls and would excused himself for privacy.
"I better go make sure everything is alright." Flint excused himself ten minutes later as he noticed Duke was still on the phone. Top-secret phone calls never lasted more than a few minutes for a fear of being traced. Flint pushed through the cafeteria doors to find Duke leaning against the wall with his phone clutched in his hand.
"What's going on Duke? We didn't lose the war, did we?" Flint asked trying to feel out the mood of his best friend.
"No, not exactly." Duke softly answered looking down at his phone.
"What was that phone call about, Duke? I know it wasn't top-secret shit so spill it." Flint asked worried.
"It was the jewelers downtown." Duke sighed.
"And?" Flint asked confused.
"They called to tell me my ring is ready. I had my grandmother's ring cleaned and restored." Duke revealed. He brought his eyes to Flint's.
"Duke, what are you saying? That you were going to ask…" Flint trailed off not wanting to finish the thought.
"I've been thinking about it for awhile now. Getting the ring ready was the first step." Duke sighed.
"Duke, I mean I knew things were serious, but this…" Flint was astounded by the news.
"Every morning I wake up and Scarlett is the first thing I think about and when I go to bed she is always the last image I see. Like I told you, she's my world." Duke spoke intensely.
"Then you have to ask her. Do it tonight." Flint pushed.
"What? And add another long distance marriage to the next census? You and I both know this assignment is open-ended. I may never come back." Duke shoved his phone back in his pocket.
"They won't keep you up there that long, man…they just can't." Flint tried to assure him.
"You know up until I met Scarlett the military was my life. Now the military is taking me away from my life." Duke thought about the irony of the situation.
"This is hard for anyone to handle. I can just imagine if I had to leave Jaye." Flint grimaced at the thought.
"I don't want to handle it, Flint. I don't want to swallow it down and go be a good little soldier. I've given most of my life to the service. Maybe it's time to live my life for myself…" Duke suggested to himself.
"What are you saying?" Flint asked.
"Maybe it's time I did something for myself instead of for my country." Duke took a deep breath, "Let's drop this and go back to the table before the girls get too worried."
"Conrad," Flint started. Duke stopped at the use of his first name, "you know I am here for you."
"I know, Dash. And I'm thankful." Duke smiled half heartedly as the two went back to the table. It was the girls turn to be quiet as the boys returned.
"What is my zipper down?" Flint asked trying to lighten the mood. He looked down to check for himself.
"No, Flint, if that was the case we'd hear screaming by now." Lady Jaye chuckled. Scarlett couldn't help but to smile at the crack.
"Oh really…I've only known you to scream when what's inside my pants is inside you." Flint smirked.
"Ok, too much information." Scarlett covered her ears.
"Ok, let's try for a PG rated conversation, shall we?" Duke pleaded.
"Anyways, who was on the phone? You were on for an awfully long time." Lady Jaye changed the subject.
"Oh, it was nothing. Just something…Well not really something…It isn't important." Duke finally spat out. The girls arched their eyebrows at each other. When Duke was at a loss of words, they knew something was up.
"You should know better than to tempt us with vague references, Duke. Now you are going to make me have to get it out of Flint." Lady Jaye smiled.
"I know nothing." Flint came to his own defense.
"We'll see about that later." Lady Jaye winked at him.
"Well, what were you girls talking about?" Flint changed the subject again.
"Girl stuff." Scarlett answered.
"Oh?" Flint asked curiously.
"Yeah, you know like periods." Lady Jaye laughed.
"Ok, too much information." Flint covered his ears in the same fashion as Scarlett did moments before. The laughter died down and the table got quiet. Everyone looked down at their plates not sure what to say.
"So what can we talk about that won't get anyone in trouble?" Duke tried to start the conversation back up. No one said anything for a few moments. "Time to be quiet and reflect I guess."
"I guess we're just…" Lady Jaye trailed off with a sigh.
"I just didn't think our last dinner together would be like this." Flint shrugged.
"Maybe this won't be our last dinner. There's always the future." Scarlett smiled half-heartedly.
"Yeah, the future…" Duke nodded.
"Yeah…" Flint softly agreed.
"Well, so much for our light-hearted dinner. I think somewhere a clown died along with our conversation." Lady Jaye quipped.
"Maybe…" Scarlett wistfully answered.
"Hey guys, trust me. I'm not excited about this transfer either, but it's not the end of the world." Duke coaxed the group to cheer up. He was doing a lousy job considering he was miserable himself.
"To some of us it is." Scarlett softly whispered and looked to the floor. Duke thought he saw a tear slide down her cheek. Lady Jaye and Flint exchanged glances and knew that it was time for them to give Scarlett and Duke some private time.
"Well kids, it's time we left you alone." Flint announced and stood up with Lady Jaye.
"Yeah, spend sometime talking together. We'll go back and do some more packing." Lady Jaye smiled.
"Really, you two don't have to do that." Duke replied softly. He was touched by his friends' offers.
"Hey man, you need the time together." Flint put his arm on Duke's shoulder, "Tell her about the phone call."
"Flint…" Duke called out astonished. Both women looked at the men curiously.
"Trust me, Duke. Go for it." Flint advised and he and Jaye left.
"So what's this about the phone call?" Scarlett asked.
"Flint talks too much sometimes." Duke shook his head.
"But hardly without saying something of importance. Out with it, Hauser." Scarlett poked him grinning.
"Shana…" he trailed off at a loss of what to do. Her smile turned into a serious hard look. She saw in his eyes he was struggling.
"Let's take a walk back to your quarters. Ok?" he smiled trying to change the subject.
"Sure…" Scarlett answered. She wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. They cleaned up their trays and headed for Scarlett's room. As soon as Scarlett shut and locked the door behind her she started about the phone call.
"Now, let's talk about the phone call." Scarlett began and invited him to sit on the couch with her.
"Shana…" he trailed off again with a sigh.
"If you can't tell me that's ok…" Scarlett trailed off.
"It's just with my transfer…I just don't know if it's right…" Duke sighed.
"Whatever you think is best, Conrad." Scarlett took his hand in her own, "I just don't want some untold secret to be the last thing I remember about tonight."
Duke thought about her last statement for a few moments. He didn't want to tell her, but at the same time he didn't want to keep anything from her. Either way he was going to hurt her. Duke also rationalized that if he didn't tell her she could interpret his silence as not trusting her. He definitely did not want her to feel that way. "The jeweler from downtown called me." Duke blurted.
"And?" Scarlett prompted for more information.
"I took my grandmother's engagement ring to be cleaned and resized." Duke continued. Scarlett brought her hands to her face and covered her mouth. She knew what that meant; Duke was planning on proposing.
"This isn't they way I planned for you to find out. I mean I didn't really have it all planned out, but this is definitely not the way I was going to bring it up. And now with the transfer…" Duke squirmed in his seat.
"You don't want to ask me now…" Scarlett trailed off quietly.
"I don't see how I can." Duke shook his head. He bit his lip while getting his thoughts in order, "It's unfair to ask you to wait for a day that may not come for years, and to ask you not to try to find happiness with someone else during that time. That's just selfish." He watched as Scarlett's tears spilled over. Each tear she shed broke his heart even more than it was already.
"I want you to be selfish, Conrad." Scarlett said through her tears. Duke looked at her confused. "I love you Conrad and if you think us being together is selfish of you, then be selfish."
"How can I ask you to wait for me when I don't even know when I am coming back?" Duke asked.
"Ask me on one knee…" Scarlett sobbed.
"Shana, I'm serious." Duke showed no signs of smiling at her response.
"I am serious. I don't want to be here without you." Scarlett admitted wiping away her tears.
"I don't think they'd agree to transfer you along with me. We've been lucky to stay on base together for this long." Duke frowned.
"No, I'm not talking transfer. What if I were…to come along with you as a civilian?" Scarlett asked more clearly. Duke's eyes shot up to meet hers.
"You're not serious…"Duke spoke stunned.
"I am." Scarlett nodded.
"You'd have to resign your commission, give up post… You'd never be able to get back in." Duke advocated against her idea.
"Don't you think I've thought of all that? This wasn't a decision I came to frivolously." Scarlett answered.
"Well…" Duke trailed off.
"Listen, this is my choice. I've been thinking about it since you told me you were going to have to leave. I even talked it over with Jaye. She supports me."
"This topic is too emotional for the two of us right now. You don't want to make an emotional choice…" Duke still balked at the idea.
"My decision is not emotional. I rationalized everything out. You honestly think I could go on here without you? You're not only the man I love, but you're my best friend. Losing you would be like losing myself." Scarlett took a breath to keep the tears from starting again, "I joined the military to find a sense of purpose. I've done a lot of great things that I'll always take pride in, but I never found my purpose until I found you."
"This is just making things so much harder…" Duke grimaced.
"It doesn't have to be! Just tell me I'd be welcome with you, and its done. Let me know there's a place by your side, and I'll be there. Conrad, I want to be with you. And you know better than anyone that this uniform does come off." Scarlett pleaded.
"It's asking you to give up your independence." Duke shook his head.
"I don't think of it that way. You're asking me to give up my independence by staying. You're telling me I don't have a choice." She argued.
"That's not what I am saying at all." Duke argued back getting heated.
"Oh, really? Then what were you saying? I'd like to know." Scarlett retorted with a new edge to her voice.
"You know very well what I was saying. I can't ask you to give up your career for me." Duke replied with the same edginess in his voice.
"Have you given thought that it's not just for you, but for me too?"
"This really isn't getting us anywhere..." Duke sighed and rubbed his temples.
"No, because you keep putting up the roadblocks…" Scarlett accused.
"What if you made this choice and then realized it was a bad move for you?" Duke played devil's advocate, "Then what?"
"That won't happen…" Scarlett shook her head.
"But what if it does? What if in 6 months, a year, whatever, you find out you miss the service more than you like being with me?" Duke continued.
"That's not going to happen!" Scarlett assured him.
"Can you guarantee that?" Duke asked rising from his seat. Scarlett sat in thought for a few minutes.
"If you're that unsure of my feelings, why were you going to ask me to marry you to begin with?" Scarlett asked softly.
"I'm not unsure..." Duke trailed off.
"You're not? You just questioned my love right there." Scarlett looked up at him tears spilling over again.
"That's not what I was doing." Duke softly spoke sitting down again.
"You know what? I think you're right. This is getting us nowhere." Scarlett sobbed.
"Shana…" Duke trailed off.
"Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this at all right now." She suggested and stood up as her tears subsided.
"But…" Duke trailed off.
"In fact, I don't think we should talk about this period." Scarlett decided.
"Now that's unfair!" Duke protested and stood up. Scarlett spun him around so they could see each other in the mirror.
"Look in the mirror. Look at us. Is this the way you want to remember us?" Scarlett spun him around. Duke did have to admit they did not look like a couple in love. Scarlett's face was drained of color except for her puffy red eyes that matched her hair. Duke stood hunched over dejected and tired. He turned around to face Scarlett.
"Let's both just calm down for a bit. I didn't want this to escalate like this." Duke calmly suggested.
"Tough, it did." Scarlett spun away from him and walked to her door, "I'm going to take a walk."
"A walk?" Duke asked following her to the door.
"A walk. A walk alone, Conrad. I need some space to think." Scarlett answered harshly.
"Shana…"Duke trailed pleaded for her not to go like this.
"You can stay here do whatever." Scarlett shrugged.
"Are you…coming back?" Duke asked softly. Scarlett nodded.
"Just give me some time." Scarlett answered and closed the door behind her. Duke felt himself shrink with defeat and made a circle around the living room she and Lady Jaye shared. His last night and he spends it fighting. What a great choice that was. He went into Scarlett's bedroom and ran his hand over her soft comforter. He pressed his head into her pillows and deeply inhaled her scent. He wished he had a bottle and could fill it with the sweet smell that intoxicated him so much. He lifted his head and walked over to her desk. He ran a finger over all the Stephen King novels she possessed. He was the one that got her started reading them. He noticed there was a book open on her desk with her handwriting in it. It looked like her journal. The entry it was open to was from today. She must have written it right after she had left his apartment earlier in the afternoon. The page had smudges. Duke guessed they were tearstains. He picked up the book and read the entry:
"Conrad's leaving. He told me today. He's being reassigned, something about heading up a new operation or whatever. I wasn't listening. All I know is that the most important person in my life is about to leave, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
There's so much more I wanted to tell him. So much more of me I wanted him to see, and so much more of him I wanted to get to know. Some days I wonder why I ever came into this stupid world. Then I remember that I had Conrad and it was all a little better.
Now I don't even have him. He's going, and seems perfectly ok with it. I'm guessing that's just him putting on his strong face. It pisses me off. Why can't he even act upset or angry? Or rail at the powers that be? Because he's a soldier. Probably always will be. That's what he prides his life on.
There's not a lot I can do. There's no way I'd get a transfer to go along with him. I've been thinking about resigning. I know it's a drastic step, and until today I thought I'd stay here forever, or at least until I retired. Now, all of that seems ridiculous. There's only one thing holding me back, and that's the question of how much Conrad would want me to be with him.
I wish he'd let me know. I wish he'd take me in his arms and tell me he'd never let go. I wish he'd just say that it was just a bad dream. I wish that I could spend my life with this man. I wish so hard that one day he'll see I am so completely in love with him that it hurts to be an inch away from him sometimes. But these are just wishes and I grew out of wishes a long time ago."
*****************************************************************
Duke's hands shook as he read the emotional passage. The power of Scarlett's words sucked the breath right out of him. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and reread the entry for more self-inflicted emotional torture. After the second time he even felt himself having to sniffle to hold back his own tears. Duke shut the book hoping that would take away all the sadness in his life.
Duke looked at the closed book and noticed that two pages had paperclips attached to them. He knew he shouldn't snoop, but his curiosity always got the better of him. Especially now, that he felt there was a chance that Scarlett would come back and end things with him. He flipped to the first paper clipped page and knew by the date that this entry was about his first date with Scarlett.
**************************************************************
"Tonight was the night. My very first date with "Conrad". I still have a hard time calling him that in private! After resisting his charms for the past 6 months, I finally gave in when he asked me out to a movie. I'm not sure what made me accept his offer, but it was definitely worth it! I want to write down exactly what happened so I don't forget a single moment of it.
It was a beautiful evening so Conrad and I decided to walk rather than drive to the movie theatre. It was about a 10 min walk, but it seemed much shorter. Duke…I mean CONRAD and I talked the whole way there.
Well, the movie was awful. Conrad wanted to see an action movie (go figure), so I thought it could be good. Wouldn't you know it; he probably chose the worst movie of all time to go see. I mean after 15 minutes people were walking out. We stayed longer than others. We got to about a half hour before I had to elbow my date awake.
So we went outside, and it was raining…I'm talking pouring down rain. Why didn't we check the weather forecast? So yeah, we are stranded at the movies in pouring rain. By this point, I started writing this date off as a disaster. I was about to call a cab for us, when Duke grabbed my hand and pulled me out into the rain. We ran down the streets until we hit a small café. At first I was annoyed, but when I saw us both looking like drowned rats, I couldn't help but to laugh. I never knew Mr. Schedule- Oriented-Man could be so spontaneous.
So we're in the café and Duke handed me a napkin to dry my face off and ordered us coffee. I noticed him staring at me. I called him on it and his response was that I was just "too beautiful to take his eyes off of". I nearly melted right then and there. The coffee came and we spent the evening talking about everything and anything. I think that's what made it so great. I got to find out about him, and he got to find out about me.
So the rain ended, and we decided to go back to base. I don't think either of us wanted it to end. When we finally got back, he was so apologetic. Like he had a weather machine and he made it rain! I couldn't let him go on thinking I had a terrible time, so when we got to my door I pulled him close and I kissed him. Not a big kiss, but a kiss. I told him that I had a great time, but next time I got to pick the movie. I laughed, but Duke was still stunned from the kiss. I must have really shocked him!
I'm really glad Conrad kept pursuing me over these months. I know I haven't made it easy for him. I'm still not sure why I accepted his offer, but I am so very glad I did. We've got a chemistry that I haven't felt with any other person."
Duke's heart felt warm while reading. He smiled remembering just how absolutely powerless he had been when Scarlett brought her lips to his own. He didn't like to admit it, but Scarlett made him weak. Toss that red mane around and he would do anything for her. He flipped to the second paper clipped entry and couldn't figure out by the date why it might be paper clipped, but as soon as he started reading he knew exactly why this entry was so important.
"The clock just flipped to 5:00 am. And why am I writing in my journal? Because I just had an amazing night and I need to write it down right away, because as always, I don't want to forget a minute of what happened.
Duke picked me up rather late this evening. He was taking me to a nice Italian place for dinner, but his reservations were late. We didn't end up sitting down for dinner until around 9pm. Duke has been very busy lately and wanted to make up all the time he couldn't spend with me by taking me out to this nice place. And let me just say, Conrad knows how to wine and dine a lady! It was easily the most romantic date I've ever been on. The restaurant was small and elegant. The lighting was dim, but you could see. There were candles on each table, which helped the romantic atmosphere. I had the most amazing Caesar Salad and Pasta dish I have ever had in my life. The violinist came around and played a song at our table. Conrad took my hand and kissed it. Anyway, enough about the date. I need to get to the real reason I am writing this entry at five in the morning.
After dinner, we get back to base and Duke drops me off at my door as usual. I went to put my pass card in the lock when I heard muffled sounds coming through the door. It didn't take me long to realize Jaye and Flint thought they had the room to themselves for the night. I knew I'd never get to sleep with all the noise, so Duke offered his quarters. At first I was hesitant, but I didn't really have anywhere else to crash. It was already late and I didn't want to disturb Cover Girl.
Off the topic already…so we get to his quarters and we sit and talk for a while. We talked about Flint and Jaye and even laughed about some of the sounds we heard them make. By this time I am squirming because I am still in a dress and heels. Duke notices and offers me one of his long shirts to change into. It smelled just like him.
I come out of his bedroom and he's just staring at me again. The way he did after we kissed for the first time. He said he didn't remember that shirt ever looking as good on him as it did me. It made me giggle. He came over towards me and put his arms around me. He starts speaking about how these past months have been incredible…and he tells me that he's in love with me. We've had talks that have gone around the "l" word, but tonight he actual said it. And of course, I said it back. He pulled me into his bedroom and kissed me so passionately that I tumbled onto his bed with him. We kissed some more. He ran his hands through my hair as I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. He has the most muscular arms I have ever felt. Conrad started down my neck and I felt like the temperature in the room erupted to 400 degrees. I felt him pull away and I sat up wondering what was wrong. He assured me that he wanted nothing more than to have me spend the night with him, but he wanted to make sure I was ready. Of course I was ready. It had been a long time since I was with a man whom I felt so strongly for. In fact, I have not felt this strongly for anyone else in my entire life.
Duke undressed into his boxers and gently pushed me back on his bed. His hand slowly crept underneath the material of the shirt I was borrowing and touched every sensitive part of my body. It's like he knew exactly where I liked to be touched. He sat me up roughly and pulled the shirt off my body and smothered me for skin-to-skin contact. He slid down my body and could tell how aroused I was after he slid his hand in my panties. I begged him to enter me. I was so close to an orgasm. He asked me once more if I was sure I was ready. I nodded. He slipped on a condom (I'm so glad we were safe) and gently entered me. Duke continued to be gentle and patient with me. He started a slow rhythm and then picked up speed as I felt the world crashing around us. There was a point where I could feel myself connecting to him on more than a primal level. I knew what he wanted and I knew what he hoped for. It was like I could see all he was. I could see his soul. We made love well into what was left of the evening and into the early morning. I think our love making sessions added up to three. We just couldn't keep our hands off of each other. We were starved for each other's touch.
Duke had to be on duty at 5am so I had to slip quietly back to my quarters. And here I am. Completely glowing and completely without sleep. I go on duty in roughly three hours so here's hoping to get a little shut-eye."
Duke rubbed the back of his neck feeling a bit hot from reading the entry. He sighed with a smile remembering how he was so happy she returned his affections. He had been scared to tell her that he loved her. He remembered how strongly he felt that they would never be torn apart once he learned her feelings were mutual. Duke flipped the journal back to the last page and set it back on her desk. Duke went to the window. It was already dark outside. His last day at headquarters was drawing to a close. He heard the door to the apartment open and he raced into the living room to see if Scarlett had returned.
"Oh, I thought you were Scarlett." Duke sighed sadly.
"Why? Where'd she go?" Lady Jaye asked. She could tell by Duke's disposition that something was wrong.
"For a walk. We had a fight." Duke revealed.
"Oh, Duke. I'm sorry. Care to talk?" Lady Jaye offered.
"Might as well. Scarlett knows. Flint knows. So I guess I'll tell you too." Duke shrugged and sat down on the couch with Jaye, "The phone call I got tonight was from the jewelers. I was planning on proposing to Scarlett within the next few months and he had finished restoring my grandmother's engagement ring."
"Oh, Duke, that's wonderful. But, why are you fighting? I know Scarlett has been hoping you'd ask her for awhile now." Lady Jaye asked still confused.
"She wanted me to, but I just couldn't. I can't ask her to wait for me when I'm not sure what is going on. I don't even know where I'm going. All I know is Hawk needs me. She brought up leaving the force, but I'm not about to let her throw her career away for me." Duke blurted out everything.
"I'm sure that's not how she sees it. From what you just told me I would think these are all excuses to get you out of commitment." Lady Jaye advised.
"That's not how I feel. I want more than anything to be with Shana. I can't imagine my life without her." Duke tried to convince Jaye otherwise. He let out a sad sigh, "To marry her would be a dream come true."
"So if it's your dream, why are you letting go of it?" Lady Jaye asked softly. She watched as Duke reflected upon her question, "Or is it Shana you are giving up on, and not the dream?"
"You know it's not like that." Duke threw back a little harsher than necessary.
"Isn't it? Then tell me what it is, Duke." Lady Jaye challenged.
"I have responsibilities…duties…" Duke started.
"And those are more important to you than your dream?" Lady Jaye challenged. She watched as Duke reflected again, "Those are more important than Scarlett?"
Duke had no words to say. Lady Jaye had him backed into a corner.
"You need to figure that out, and fast…before other people decide that for you." Lady Jaye advised.
"What choice do I have?" Duke whispered.
"You could let her go with you, like she offered." Lady Jaye suggested.
"I can't ask her to leave for me." Duke shook his head.
"Duke, listen it's her life, her choice. By making it for her, you're telling her you don't value her judgment. Is that true?" Lady Jaye questioned. She could see Duke starting to get uncomfortable about the emotional content of their conversation.
"Of course not!" Duke snapped.
"Then why are you letting your actions speak the opposite of what you mean?" Lady Jaye asked analytically.
"I hate it when you use your psychological training." Duke grumbled.
"So does Flint. Men can't stand to be told when they're acting like noble idiots." Lady Jaye answered with a smile.
"So…what do I do?" Duke asked with a little hopefulness in his voice.
"I can't tell you that. You have to look at all your options and then do the one that's best for you, and for Scarlett." Lady Jaye shrugged. She saw Duke's face fall a bit.
"You sit here and think. I need to get back to your place. Flint's going to think I'm trying to get out of helping him." Lady Jaye laughed a bit. Duke gave a soft smile before returning to his depressed state of mind. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes thinking about what Jaye said and exactly what he should do about it. He rolled his head forward after a few minutes and grabbed a picture of him and Scarlett that was sitting on the table next to the couch. He sniffled and then put it back on the end table. The lights were really starting to bother his eyes so he shut them off. Perhaps he would do better thinking in the dark.
The door opened ten minutes later. Duke was startled, but at the same time he was still zoning out as to what to do.
"Figures he'd just up and leave…" Scarlett grumbled and kicked off her shoes.
"Actually I've been waiting for you. I was hoping you'd come back." Duke called out into the darkness.
"Duke! What are you doing here in the dark?" Scarlett cried startled and embarrassed. She turned on the light.
"Just thinking…" Duke sighed. He grabbed the picture of the two of them again and studied it. He turned it around so Scarlett could see too. She sat next to him on the couch.
"Listen, I've been thinking…" Scarlett bit her lip.
"So have I…" Duke trailed off also nervous.
"I understand what you were saying earlier, and as much as I don't like it you're right." Scarlett hung her head.
"What?" Duke asked in disbelief.
"You're right. I know a long distance relationship wouldn't work. You'd find someone new…" Scarlett trailed off taking a deep breath.
"Shana…" Duke softly whispered and grabbed her hands. She pulled them away.
"So I'm going to let go. I won't try to convince you of my feelings anymore." Scarlett's voice faltered.
"Listen…" Duke tried to stop her.
"I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Scarlett whispered. Duke saw her body shaking and knew that she was sobbing.
"Hold on…" Duke tried to interrupt.
"I really think you'd better go. I don't think we should see each other anymore." Scarlett looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Shana, stop!" Duke cried out to stop her from talking this nonsense.
"What?" Scarlett replied sniffling.
"No, I'm not going. No, I don't agree we shouldn't see each other anymore. I do think this was meant to be." Duke replied.
"I'm giving you your out. It's ok, Conrad." Scarlett sobbed.
"I'm not taking it." Duke shook his head.
"What are you talking about?" Scarlett asked confused.
"I'm talking about showing you how important you are to me, instead of just saying it. I'm talking about proving to you how much I love you instead of just thinking I'm showing it." Duke tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Duke…" she whispered.
"Shana, it's Conrad... always and hopefully forever... and I want you to marry me." Duke revealed. His heart leapt into his throat. Scarlett looked quizzically at him still unsure what to make of the whole situation. Duke slid off the couch and down on one knee.
"It's not the most romantic environment. And I don't have a dozen roses, but it does come from the heart. I want you to be my wife. Nothing else matters to me more than you." Duke took her hands in his and kissed them.
"But…what about the reassignment?" Scarlett asked cautiously. She didn't want to build up her excitement for it to come crashing down again.
"What about it? You were ready to leave the service to be with me. Well I'm ready to match that commitment. I'll stay with you." Duke smiled at his offer.
"You can't mean that!" Scarlett replied shocked.
"I do. If you're not with me, then I'm not going." Duke shook his head. He felt good about the decision he reached.
"I don't know what to say…" Scarlett trailed off touched at Duke's offer.
"Well, 'yes' is what I was hoping for..." Duke laughed nervously.
"Are you sure about all this?" Scarlett asked one last time.
"The whole time you were gone I sat here thinking about it, but the whole time I knew I really didn't have to think about it. I just had to listen to my heart." Duke replied.
"What is it saying?" Scarlett started to smile.
"Right now, it's saying I can't go on without you. And it really wishes you'd answer my question before I die of anticipation." Duke smiled. Scarlett laughed.
"Ask me again." Scarlett suppressed her smile.
"Oh, um sure…later." Duke looked down hurt.
"No, Conrad, ask me again…right now." Scarlett moved to the edge of her seat. Duke looked up and grinned.
"Shana, will you do me the honor of being my wife?" Duke asked softly while gazing into her eyes. Scarlett tugged on his hands and pulled him up with her.
"Yes, Conrad. I love you and would be very happy to be your wife." She smiled happily and gave him a sweet romantic kiss.
"Oh, Shana, I am so happy." Duke replied with a huge smile on his face.
"One thing, Conrad." Scarlett frowned.
"Yes, darling, what is it?" Duke asked frowning.
"The ring is still at the jeweler's." Scarlett smiled.
"Yeah, I know…this wasn't much of a proposal…but you still said yes anyway." Duke laughed sadly.
"That's ok, you can ask me again when you get it…and I'll still give you the same answer." Scarlett smiled and kissed her now fiancée again.
"This is the happiest moment of my life." Duke smiled.
"Unfortunately, tomorrow is another story." Scarlett sighed sadly.
"But…we still have tonight." Duke reminded Scarlett slyly.
"Should we go to your place?" Scarlett asked getting ready to pack a few things.
"Nah, I think we should stay here. I don't want to see all my stuff packed up. I think that would ruin the mood." Duke shook his head.
"True…" Scarlett agreed. She smiled seductively and pulled Duke into a steamy kiss.
"I can't believe it." Duke grinned.
"What? That you asked me or that I said 'yes'?" Scarlett asked kissing him again.
"Both, I think." Duke intensified the kiss. "I think we should celebrate."
"What do you suggest?" Scarlett asked lazily gazing into his eyes.
"You and me. Here. No barriers between us." Duke grinned and ran his hands over the curves of her body.
"No barriers? Like no shirts?" Scarlett grinned seductively and started to unbutton Duke's shirt.
"No shirts…" Duke agreed and reached around to unzip her jumpsuit.
"No pants…" Scarlett smiled and unbuckled Duke's belt.
"Nope…" Duke agreed and pushed Scarlett's jumpsuit off her shoulders. Scarlett pushed Duke's pants down to his hips.
"We should really take our barriers down like this a lot more." Scarlett smiled at the site of Duke partially unclothed.
"You think so, Mrs. Hauser?" Duke asked tenderly. Scarlett gave a small soft laugh thinking about her new name.
"I certainly do." She nodded. She finished undressing herself and stood before her fiancée and tossed her red mane over her shoulders. Duke in turn finished undressing himself. He pulled her to him hungrily.
"I think this celebration should get on its way." Duke growled seductively. Scarlett nodded and pulled him into the bedroom.
They spent their last night together making love numerous times, not wanting the morning to come. Sleep did finally come upon them while they were spooned together talking and making promises about their future together.
Duke awoke to the morning light cursing it and wishing it back to the previous night. He looked at the time, and it was definitely time to get the day started. He slowly raised himself up on his elbow to see Scarlett sleeping beside him. Her red hair was strewn all over her pillow. A small smile painted her lips. This, Duke realized, is my future. And it felt so damn right. Now he couldn't even fathom why he had tried to push away the woman who meant everything to him. He was so incredibly thankful to his friends and God for helping him to make the right decision. He brushed some hair off of her face and her eyes fluttered open.
"Good morning, beautiful." Duke greeted her softly. He kissed her forehead. Scarlett stretched her muscles and sighed contentedly. "I'll take that as a good morning." Duke chuckled. Scarlett nodded. She yawned.
"Good morning, handsome." She replied and sat up to kiss his forehead. "How long have you been awake?"
"Only a few minutes…" Duke replied.
"So you were watching me sleep." Scarlett smiled.
"You are so beautiful. I just couldn't help myself." Duke answered rubbing her shoulder.
"I'm surprised me sleeping could hold your attention." Scarlett replied.
"You'll always have my attention. Always." Duke stressed.
"So how are you feeling?" Scarlett smiled.
"Never better." Duke stretched his own body.
"Listen, Duke. We still have time to rearrange our plans. I don't want you to regret anything. Anything we said or did last night." Scarlett softly dampened the spirit of the new morning.
"No. Shana, my decision is made. My place is with you. Nothing else matters." Duke rolled himself on top of her and planted kissed on her face, neck, and shoulders. The phone rang breaking up their romantic moment. Duke turned and stared at the phone.
"Well, aren't you going to get it?" Scarlett asked impatiently.
"It's your phone." Duke replied.
"But you're on top of me. Answer it." Scarlett nagged him. Duke relented and reluctantly picked up the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Ah, Duke I was guessing I would find you here." The voice of General Hawk greeted.
"General!" Duke exclaimed and clumsily shot out of bed. Scarlett watched Duke clumsily stumble out of the bed tangled in the sheets. She was amazed he didn't trip and fall.
"At ease, Conrad." General Hawk laughed, "I've been trying to get a hold of you. I tried your quarters and then your cell. When both of those didn't work, I figured I'd find you there. Tell Shana good morning for me."
Duke covered the earpiece, "It's Clayton. He says good morning." Scarlett laughed and extended the happy greeting back.
"Clayton, I'm glad you called. There's something important I need to tell you." Duke began feeling brave.
"Well that's going to have to wait for a little bit. I need both you and Scarlett in the control room ASAP. I have an announcement." Hawk replied getting down to the reason for his phone call.
"Yes, sir, we'll be right there." Duke said quickly not wanting to waste time.
"And Duke…" Hawk trailed off.
"Yes, General?" Duke asked.
"You both should get dressed first." He laughed and hung up the phone. Duke blushed a bit.
He turned to Scarlett, "That was our wake up call. We need to get moving."
"I guess that means I have to get up, huh?" Scarlett sighed. "I hope you don't mind wearing yesterday's uniform…" Scarlett trailed off. There was a knock at the door. Scarlett looked at Duke expectantly.
"First you want me to answer your phone. Now you want me to answer the door?" Duke cried out.
"Well, you're out of bed." Scarlett answered.
"This is not the way things will be when we are married!" Duke grumbled and went to the door. He looked out the peephole to see Flint standing there holding a clean uniform for Duke.
"Hey.." Duke smiled opening up the door.
"Yeah, I thought you might need a fresh one. Didn't know where on the floor you'd leave the one from yesterday. Well lookie there." Flint chuckled indicating a pile of Duke's and Scarlett's clothes from the previous night.
"At least I can find my clothes in the morning." Duke retorted.
"Now that hurt, man. I'm offended." Flint teased. He produced a small box and shoved it in Duke's hands.
"What is this?" Duke asked.
"I went to the jeweler's for you this morning. Jaye told me about the talk you had with her. I figured this might come in handy." Flint smiled genuinely. Duke opened the box and found his grandmother's engagement ring sparkling like new.
"Thanks, Dash." Duke nodded and went to see him out.
"You are going to ask her aren't you?" Flint prodded.
"I don't know Dash, you'll have to wait and see." Duke replied trying not to give it away. He stuffed the box into the pocket of his uniform.
"I hope you do the right thing, Duke. Don't screw this up." Flint sighed as he left. Duke shut the door.
"Who was it?" Scarlett asked emerging dressed and ready to go.
"Flint, he brought me a clean uniform." Duke replied and went back into the bedroom. He changed quickly making sure the ring was in the pocket of his new pants.
They left a few minutes later after making sure each other looked presentable.
They entered the control room surprised to find most of the team assembled. They had assumed Hawk wanted to talk to them privately. The joes were standing in two lines. Duke took his place next to Hawk and Scarlett went to stand next to Jaye and Flint who saved her a space.
"You know what this is about?" Scarlett whispered to Flint and Jaye curious about the assembly of the team.
"No clue, Hawk just said it was important." Flint shrugged.
"I guess so we can all say good bye." Lady Jaye sighed sadly.
"Duke's going to resign…" Scarlett whispered.
"What?" Flint cried loudly.
"Shhhh!" hissed about all the joes standing behind them.
"Did you say what I think you did?" Lady Jaye wanted to assure her own ears.
"Hawk's getting ready to speak," Flint noticed before Scarlett could reassure her.
"Well thanks for joining us. Its not a good sign for the man of the hour to be late for his own celebration." Hawk laughed putting his hand on Duke's shoulder. Many of the other joes laughed as well.
"I think we should talk first, General." Duke tried to persuade him.
"Nope. You're not going to get out of this one, my
friend." Hawk smiled as he turned toward the joes, "Now we all know that the brass at the Pentagon decided they wanted Duke to head up a new Operation. In Alaska, of all places." Many of the joes gasped at the news of how distant his placement would be. Even Duke took a step back. "I think its safe to say No one here was happy with the news that Duke may be leaving us. When I got pulled away to run operations, I chose Duke to be field commander because he's a man who leads by example. He's a 'man of action', and there's no denying that he's had an impact on the lives of all of us." Hawk continued eyeing Scarlett. "So faced with the prospect of losing one of the family, and wrecking a team that's built on solidity and fraternity, I decided to do something to change their minds." A murmur swept through the crowd. Duke gave Hawk a confused look. "To make a long story short, I called in ever favor I had, pried loose some points from the brass and well... Duke, you're not going anywhere except back to your quarters to unpack." Hawk smiled proudly.
"I'm staying?" Duke asked not sure to believe the general's words. Hawk nodded and the whole base cheered. Scarlett squealed with joy and hugged Lady Jaye and Flint. The crowd became hushed as Hawk opened his mouth to speak again.
"Not only that, I made sure they understood that if they ever try to reassign anyone under my command, they may have a little bit of trouble getting cooperation. You may also want to call the President and thank him too. He put in a good word for you." Hawk continued.
"Thank you, General!" Duke saluted ecstatic.
"At ease," Hawk laughed. The base was still excited about Duke staying and everyone was talking. Duke took Hawk aside.
"Yeah, well…I did, but if you don't mind I'd like to make an announcement of my own.
"The floor's yours." Hawk motioned with his hand to take the floor. Hawk whistled loudly so everyone would listen.
"As many of you know, the service is my life. I've been happy here, and will continue to be. You are all my friends." Duke began. Everyone clapped. Duke could feel his throat closing up and his heart dropping into his stomach. Now that he had started, he wasn't sure he could get through what he wanted to say. He took a deep breath and took a step towards Scarlett. "When I found out I may be leaving though, I found that the service wasn't the most important thing to me after all. I realized something meant a lot more than that. Someone meant a lot more than anything." Duke stopped in front of Scarlett. Scarlett looked at him and her eyes began to water with his sentiment towards her.
"There is just one person I've ever met who made me feel like I do right now. There's just one person that I don't think I could stand being a million miles from. There's just one person that completes me perfectly." Duke knelt down on one knee in front of her. Scarlett began to cry. He took Scarlett's hand in his own. "She's my best friend and my partner…and I'd like her to be my wife." Duke continued. Many of the joes gasped at his words. Lady Jaye took Flint's hand in her own. Duke felt around in his pants pocket and produced a small box. He opened it and turned it towards her, "Shana, will you marry me?"
"Oh, Conrad, YES!" Scarlett cried through her tears. Duke slid the ring on her left ring finger. She pulled Duke up and hugged him tightly. He swung her around. And they kissed tenderly. The joes cheered. Lady Jaye squealed and hugged Flint. Hawk stepped up and gave both Duke and Scarlett a congratulatory hug. He whistled again to get the attention of the joes.
"When I told Duke he could have the floor, I didn't think he would actually be on the floor proposing." Hawk smiled. The joes laughed.
"Sorry General, I just wanted everyone to see me become an honest man." Duke apologized. He heard Flint snicker above the laughter.
"No need to apologize, Duke. I just have one request." Hawk's eyes sparkled with happiness for the couple.
"Yes?" Duke and Scarlett asked together.
"That all of us get invited to the reception." Hawk smiled broadly.
"I think that can be arranged." Duke grinned and pulled Scarlett at the hip close to him.
"Well, in that case…Roadblock!" Hawk called.
"Yes, sir?" Roadblock saluted.
"I think a celebration is in order." Hawk decided. Roadblock nodded. Scarlett and Duke looked into each other's eyes.
"I'll get right on it without delay, we're going to get ready for a wedding day!" Roadblock smiled.
"Now if I know you two, I figure you'll want some alone time. So you're dismissed. Everyone else is to report back to work. We got a world to protect." Hawk nodded.
"Thank you, General." Duke and Scarlett both saluted. They both went over to Lady Jaye and Flint. Flint hugged Duke and Lady Jaye grabbed Scarlett into a hug.
"I can't believe it…" Lady Jaye let go of Scarlett, "Oh, Duke…that was just so beautiful. I am so glad everything worked out between you two."
"Thanks." Duke hugged Lady Jaye. Flint hugged Scarlett.
"Now, you two go have a fun day off. And uh Duke…you better get your own clean uniform this time." Flint laughed.
"Oh, Duke…is this really happening? Did you really ask me?" Scarlett couldn't believe the happiness.
"Oh, Shana…I wouldn't have it any other way. You've made me the happiest man in the world.
"I think this calls for another celebration." Scarlett decided smiling.
"Me, too." Duke agreed equally as excited. He linked arms with her and started back to her apartment. "You think this will make for a paper clipped entry in your journal?"
"You read my journal?" Scarlett asked surprised.
"Just the paper clipped entries." Duke smiled. Scarlett's cheeks rouged.
"Well then you should know exactly what I want when we get back to my room." She said slyly and skipped ahead of him back to her place. Duke grinned and chased after her.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I wish whoever did would do something useful with them besides making a comic where Scarlett and Snake Eyes are engaged (WTF?!) Sorry all you comic fans! Anyways, I'd like to thank Robert and Diana M. for giving me the inspiration to write. I can't wait for the convention and give you both a great big hug!!!! Any flames with be promptly extinguished. Any other comments my email is misskris721@yahoo.com
The words punched Scarlett in the stomach and she almost doubled over. Duke led her over the couch to sit down.
"You're leaving?" Scarlett asked, her voice faltering.
"It's not like I have a choice. It's orders." Duke nodded solemnly.
"When?" Scarlett was almost afraid to ask.
"Tomorrow. I was lucky to get to stay another day. General Hawk wants me there ASAP." Duke sighed.
"Oh, Duke." Scarlett sighed sorrowfully.
"I wanted to tell you first. I didn't want you to find out second hand." Duke replied tight-lipped.
"Duke, this is so overwhelming." Scarlett tilted her head while looking at him.
"This is the last thing I would have wished for." Duke
"I know. I know it's not what you want." Scarlett replied, mostly to reassure herself.
"I.." Duke began but trailed off as Scarlett put her finger up to his lips to silence him.
"Don't say anything that would make this harder, Conrad, please." Scarlett begged. Duke nodded. Scarlett kissed him briefly and excused herself from his apartment. He was then alone with his thoughts and empty boxes that were to be filled with his things. He was furious at the transfer. He was leaving his friends. Hell, after all these years they were more like family. And then there was Scarlett. She was his best friend…his lover…his life. He hated leaving her the most. Duke began to pull books from his library off the shelf and package them. A knock sounded at his door and Duke opened to find Flint, his best friend and second in command, standing at his doorstep. Duke could tell by Flint's expression he had gotten the news.
"I guess you heard. Congratulations on your promotion." Duke tried to lighten the mood as he invited his friend in.
"Duke, I'm sorry about the transfer." Flint sighed.
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. These orders came from Hawk. Besides, you're Top Shirt now. I know you'll do great." Duke replied still packing.
"It's so much responsibility. I'll never live up to great job you did." Flint frowned.
"Nonsense. You'll be fine. Just keep a head on your shoulders." Duke advised.
"Have you told Scarlett?" Flint asked. He saw Duke's body stiffen.
"Yes, she knows." Duke softly spoke taping up a full box.
"How'd she take it?" Flint asked curiously.
"Not good. I could see it in her eyes." Duke sighed starting to feel the heartache of leaving Scarlett.
"Understandable. I'm sure Lady Jaye will be there to help her through all this." Flint assured Duke.
"It'll be four years soon." Duke sighed indicating the length of his romance.
"Unbelievable. I remember the night you came home from the movies. You had this lop-sided goofy grin on your face that no one could erase." Flint chuckled remembering.
"She's my whole world." Duke sighed sadly.
"I know." Flint replied and patted Duke on the back. Duke was a reserved man that very rarely let on to his feelings. Flint couldn't imagine the emotional hell this transfer was creating in Duke's heart.
"If you could have seen the look on her face when I told her. I never want to make her feel like that again." Duke spoke softly still haunted by Scarlett's reaction.
"It's not like you'll never see her again. There are things called long distance relationships. I am sure she will have clearance to call you and vice versa. Plus you can write letters." Flint offered trying to make Duke feel better.
"It's not the same…" Duke trailed off.
"No, but it's the best you can do in these circumstances. Besides, you know I'll look after her. I know you would do the same for Jaye if our roles were reversed." Flint replied mentioning his own girlfriend, Lady Jaye. Duke nodded. "Now what do you say I help you with your packing?"
"I'd like that. There's so much to do." Duke sighed looking around his apartment. He and Flint continued to pack books from his bookcase.
"Like Stephen King much?" Flint grinned as he looked through Duke's collection.
"Just a bit. After dealing with Cobra, his stuff isn't so scary." Duke laughed. Flint thumbed through one of the books and a piece of paper slid out from in between the pages.
"I'll get it." Duke said and reached down to see what fell out.
"What is it?" Flint asked curiously as Duke remained crouched down staring intently at the piece of paper.
"It's a movie ticket. From our first date." Duke swallowed. He put it back in the book and put it gently in the box.
"Maybe you should take the military up on their offer for packing for you?" Flint suggested.
"No, I want to do this myself." Duke stubbornly replied.
The boys worked for the most part in silence as they packed up the rest of Duke's living room. Flint finished packing up CDs and DVDs while Duke wrapped breakable decorations in newspaper.
"Steel Magnolias, Duke?" Flint asked wincing at a title in his movie collection.
"It's one of Scarlett's favorites." Duke answered.
"Oh, um, sorry." Flint apologized for bringing up the movie.
"Look, why don't we take a break and catch some dinner." Duke suggested. He needed to get out of his apartment. It seemed like everywhere he turned, everything he packed reminded him in some way of Scarlett.
"Want me to call the girls to see if they'll join us?" Flint asked.
"If you want to go with Jaye, I understand. I'll just heat up something here." Duke said a little hurt that Flint would mention the girls right now. Before Flint could reply, his cellphone rang. He answered briefly and hung up.
"Too late, girls are on their way. That was Jaye wondering if we were going to dinner." Flint replied.
"You could have told them we had other plans." Duke grimaced.
"Hey man, why are you wasting the time you got with Scarlett. You know you want to see her, and you should know she wants to spend some time with you. Don't waste what you have." Flint advised.
"It's not that easy. You didn't see her leave in tears." Duke shook his head.
"No, I didn't see that. But you two have to come to terms with this." Flint replied and put his hand on Duke's shoulder, "You're my buddy, and Scarlett's my friend. I don't want to see you two get torn apart like this." The doorbell rang announcing the girls' arrival. Flint went to greet them. Lady Jaye came in first.
"Hey…Duke…" she trailed off with a sympathetic smile. She gave him a hug.
"Thanks." Duke was glad for her support. Scarlett and Flint joined them.
"You got a lot packed." Scarlett commented.
"Just this room. Haven't touched the bedroom yet." Duke replied. Scarlett blushed.
"I'm sure Scarlett will help you pack in there. It's her favorite room." Flint joked to lighten the mood.
"Permission to smack the crap out of your boyfriend?" Scarlett turned to Jaye.
"Permission granted." Lady Jaye answered and Scarlett playfully swatted Flint quite a few times.
"Shall we get going before Flint gets himself into even more trouble?" Duke suggested. They all agreed and made their way to the cafeteria. They all grabbed some food and sat at a small round table. A few joes who were close to Duke and had heard about the transfer came over to ask him about it, but other than that the four ate silently. Scarlett found herself becoming more upset at the mention of Duke leaving to the point of excusing herself from the table for a little bit. Jaye followed her into the ladies room.
"I can't do this." Scarlett shook her head, "I can't stand to see him go like this."
"I can only imagine how hard this is for you." Lady Jaye tried to comfort.
"I don't think you can even begin to fathom how this is for me. Imagine, the center of your universe being ripped away from you. The most important person in your life…the person you share everything with…suddenly gone. I just don't think I'll be the same without him here." Scarlett dropped her gaze to the floor.
"You're strong. You can get through this. You will still be with him, just not in the same place." Lady Jaye soothed her friend.
"I'm just going to miss him so damn much." Scarlett sighed.
"Then stop wasting time in here and go back to Duke." Lady Jaye smiled. She opened the door and she and Scarlett made their way back to the table. Flint nodded to Jaye acknowledging their presence back at the table. Duke was leaned back focusing his attention on his plastic spoon that he was tapping against his tray. Both girls sat down, unsure of what to say. It was clear from the expression on the boys' faces that they must have had a deep conversation while the girls were in the bathroom.
The chime of Duke's cellphone startled them all. Duke answered it quickly. After a few seconds Duke bolted from the table still talking on the phone. He went outside into the hallway, but the group could see him through the windows.
"I wonder what that's all about?" Lady Jaye asked. No one really made too much out of it because many times Duke would receive top-secret phone calls and would excused himself for privacy.
"I better go make sure everything is alright." Flint excused himself ten minutes later as he noticed Duke was still on the phone. Top-secret phone calls never lasted more than a few minutes for a fear of being traced. Flint pushed through the cafeteria doors to find Duke leaning against the wall with his phone clutched in his hand.
"What's going on Duke? We didn't lose the war, did we?" Flint asked trying to feel out the mood of his best friend.
"No, not exactly." Duke softly answered looking down at his phone.
"What was that phone call about, Duke? I know it wasn't top-secret shit so spill it." Flint asked worried.
"It was the jewelers downtown." Duke sighed.
"And?" Flint asked confused.
"They called to tell me my ring is ready. I had my grandmother's ring cleaned and restored." Duke revealed. He brought his eyes to Flint's.
"Duke, what are you saying? That you were going to ask…" Flint trailed off not wanting to finish the thought.
"I've been thinking about it for awhile now. Getting the ring ready was the first step." Duke sighed.
"Duke, I mean I knew things were serious, but this…" Flint was astounded by the news.
"Every morning I wake up and Scarlett is the first thing I think about and when I go to bed she is always the last image I see. Like I told you, she's my world." Duke spoke intensely.
"Then you have to ask her. Do it tonight." Flint pushed.
"What? And add another long distance marriage to the next census? You and I both know this assignment is open-ended. I may never come back." Duke shoved his phone back in his pocket.
"They won't keep you up there that long, man…they just can't." Flint tried to assure him.
"You know up until I met Scarlett the military was my life. Now the military is taking me away from my life." Duke thought about the irony of the situation.
"This is hard for anyone to handle. I can just imagine if I had to leave Jaye." Flint grimaced at the thought.
"I don't want to handle it, Flint. I don't want to swallow it down and go be a good little soldier. I've given most of my life to the service. Maybe it's time to live my life for myself…" Duke suggested to himself.
"What are you saying?" Flint asked.
"Maybe it's time I did something for myself instead of for my country." Duke took a deep breath, "Let's drop this and go back to the table before the girls get too worried."
"Conrad," Flint started. Duke stopped at the use of his first name, "you know I am here for you."
"I know, Dash. And I'm thankful." Duke smiled half heartedly as the two went back to the table. It was the girls turn to be quiet as the boys returned.
"What is my zipper down?" Flint asked trying to lighten the mood. He looked down to check for himself.
"No, Flint, if that was the case we'd hear screaming by now." Lady Jaye chuckled. Scarlett couldn't help but to smile at the crack.
"Oh really…I've only known you to scream when what's inside my pants is inside you." Flint smirked.
"Ok, too much information." Scarlett covered her ears.
"Ok, let's try for a PG rated conversation, shall we?" Duke pleaded.
"Anyways, who was on the phone? You were on for an awfully long time." Lady Jaye changed the subject.
"Oh, it was nothing. Just something…Well not really something…It isn't important." Duke finally spat out. The girls arched their eyebrows at each other. When Duke was at a loss of words, they knew something was up.
"You should know better than to tempt us with vague references, Duke. Now you are going to make me have to get it out of Flint." Lady Jaye smiled.
"I know nothing." Flint came to his own defense.
"We'll see about that later." Lady Jaye winked at him.
"Well, what were you girls talking about?" Flint changed the subject again.
"Girl stuff." Scarlett answered.
"Oh?" Flint asked curiously.
"Yeah, you know like periods." Lady Jaye laughed.
"Ok, too much information." Flint covered his ears in the same fashion as Scarlett did moments before. The laughter died down and the table got quiet. Everyone looked down at their plates not sure what to say.
"So what can we talk about that won't get anyone in trouble?" Duke tried to start the conversation back up. No one said anything for a few moments. "Time to be quiet and reflect I guess."
"I guess we're just…" Lady Jaye trailed off with a sigh.
"I just didn't think our last dinner together would be like this." Flint shrugged.
"Maybe this won't be our last dinner. There's always the future." Scarlett smiled half-heartedly.
"Yeah, the future…" Duke nodded.
"Yeah…" Flint softly agreed.
"Well, so much for our light-hearted dinner. I think somewhere a clown died along with our conversation." Lady Jaye quipped.
"Maybe…" Scarlett wistfully answered.
"Hey guys, trust me. I'm not excited about this transfer either, but it's not the end of the world." Duke coaxed the group to cheer up. He was doing a lousy job considering he was miserable himself.
"To some of us it is." Scarlett softly whispered and looked to the floor. Duke thought he saw a tear slide down her cheek. Lady Jaye and Flint exchanged glances and knew that it was time for them to give Scarlett and Duke some private time.
"Well kids, it's time we left you alone." Flint announced and stood up with Lady Jaye.
"Yeah, spend sometime talking together. We'll go back and do some more packing." Lady Jaye smiled.
"Really, you two don't have to do that." Duke replied softly. He was touched by his friends' offers.
"Hey man, you need the time together." Flint put his arm on Duke's shoulder, "Tell her about the phone call."
"Flint…" Duke called out astonished. Both women looked at the men curiously.
"Trust me, Duke. Go for it." Flint advised and he and Jaye left.
"So what's this about the phone call?" Scarlett asked.
"Flint talks too much sometimes." Duke shook his head.
"But hardly without saying something of importance. Out with it, Hauser." Scarlett poked him grinning.
"Shana…" he trailed off at a loss of what to do. Her smile turned into a serious hard look. She saw in his eyes he was struggling.
"Let's take a walk back to your quarters. Ok?" he smiled trying to change the subject.
"Sure…" Scarlett answered. She wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. They cleaned up their trays and headed for Scarlett's room. As soon as Scarlett shut and locked the door behind her she started about the phone call.
"Now, let's talk about the phone call." Scarlett began and invited him to sit on the couch with her.
"Shana…" he trailed off again with a sigh.
"If you can't tell me that's ok…" Scarlett trailed off.
"It's just with my transfer…I just don't know if it's right…" Duke sighed.
"Whatever you think is best, Conrad." Scarlett took his hand in her own, "I just don't want some untold secret to be the last thing I remember about tonight."
Duke thought about her last statement for a few moments. He didn't want to tell her, but at the same time he didn't want to keep anything from her. Either way he was going to hurt her. Duke also rationalized that if he didn't tell her she could interpret his silence as not trusting her. He definitely did not want her to feel that way. "The jeweler from downtown called me." Duke blurted.
"And?" Scarlett prompted for more information.
"I took my grandmother's engagement ring to be cleaned and resized." Duke continued. Scarlett brought her hands to her face and covered her mouth. She knew what that meant; Duke was planning on proposing.
"This isn't they way I planned for you to find out. I mean I didn't really have it all planned out, but this is definitely not the way I was going to bring it up. And now with the transfer…" Duke squirmed in his seat.
"You don't want to ask me now…" Scarlett trailed off quietly.
"I don't see how I can." Duke shook his head. He bit his lip while getting his thoughts in order, "It's unfair to ask you to wait for a day that may not come for years, and to ask you not to try to find happiness with someone else during that time. That's just selfish." He watched as Scarlett's tears spilled over. Each tear she shed broke his heart even more than it was already.
"I want you to be selfish, Conrad." Scarlett said through her tears. Duke looked at her confused. "I love you Conrad and if you think us being together is selfish of you, then be selfish."
"How can I ask you to wait for me when I don't even know when I am coming back?" Duke asked.
"Ask me on one knee…" Scarlett sobbed.
"Shana, I'm serious." Duke showed no signs of smiling at her response.
"I am serious. I don't want to be here without you." Scarlett admitted wiping away her tears.
"I don't think they'd agree to transfer you along with me. We've been lucky to stay on base together for this long." Duke frowned.
"No, I'm not talking transfer. What if I were…to come along with you as a civilian?" Scarlett asked more clearly. Duke's eyes shot up to meet hers.
"You're not serious…"Duke spoke stunned.
"I am." Scarlett nodded.
"You'd have to resign your commission, give up post… You'd never be able to get back in." Duke advocated against her idea.
"Don't you think I've thought of all that? This wasn't a decision I came to frivolously." Scarlett answered.
"Well…" Duke trailed off.
"Listen, this is my choice. I've been thinking about it since you told me you were going to have to leave. I even talked it over with Jaye. She supports me."
"This topic is too emotional for the two of us right now. You don't want to make an emotional choice…" Duke still balked at the idea.
"My decision is not emotional. I rationalized everything out. You honestly think I could go on here without you? You're not only the man I love, but you're my best friend. Losing you would be like losing myself." Scarlett took a breath to keep the tears from starting again, "I joined the military to find a sense of purpose. I've done a lot of great things that I'll always take pride in, but I never found my purpose until I found you."
"This is just making things so much harder…" Duke grimaced.
"It doesn't have to be! Just tell me I'd be welcome with you, and its done. Let me know there's a place by your side, and I'll be there. Conrad, I want to be with you. And you know better than anyone that this uniform does come off." Scarlett pleaded.
"It's asking you to give up your independence." Duke shook his head.
"I don't think of it that way. You're asking me to give up my independence by staying. You're telling me I don't have a choice." She argued.
"That's not what I am saying at all." Duke argued back getting heated.
"Oh, really? Then what were you saying? I'd like to know." Scarlett retorted with a new edge to her voice.
"You know very well what I was saying. I can't ask you to give up your career for me." Duke replied with the same edginess in his voice.
"Have you given thought that it's not just for you, but for me too?"
"This really isn't getting us anywhere..." Duke sighed and rubbed his temples.
"No, because you keep putting up the roadblocks…" Scarlett accused.
"What if you made this choice and then realized it was a bad move for you?" Duke played devil's advocate, "Then what?"
"That won't happen…" Scarlett shook her head.
"But what if it does? What if in 6 months, a year, whatever, you find out you miss the service more than you like being with me?" Duke continued.
"That's not going to happen!" Scarlett assured him.
"Can you guarantee that?" Duke asked rising from his seat. Scarlett sat in thought for a few minutes.
"If you're that unsure of my feelings, why were you going to ask me to marry you to begin with?" Scarlett asked softly.
"I'm not unsure..." Duke trailed off.
"You're not? You just questioned my love right there." Scarlett looked up at him tears spilling over again.
"That's not what I was doing." Duke softly spoke sitting down again.
"You know what? I think you're right. This is getting us nowhere." Scarlett sobbed.
"Shana…" Duke trailed off.
"Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this at all right now." She suggested and stood up as her tears subsided.
"But…" Duke trailed off.
"In fact, I don't think we should talk about this period." Scarlett decided.
"Now that's unfair!" Duke protested and stood up. Scarlett spun him around so they could see each other in the mirror.
"Look in the mirror. Look at us. Is this the way you want to remember us?" Scarlett spun him around. Duke did have to admit they did not look like a couple in love. Scarlett's face was drained of color except for her puffy red eyes that matched her hair. Duke stood hunched over dejected and tired. He turned around to face Scarlett.
"Let's both just calm down for a bit. I didn't want this to escalate like this." Duke calmly suggested.
"Tough, it did." Scarlett spun away from him and walked to her door, "I'm going to take a walk."
"A walk?" Duke asked following her to the door.
"A walk. A walk alone, Conrad. I need some space to think." Scarlett answered harshly.
"Shana…"Duke trailed pleaded for her not to go like this.
"You can stay here do whatever." Scarlett shrugged.
"Are you…coming back?" Duke asked softly. Scarlett nodded.
"Just give me some time." Scarlett answered and closed the door behind her. Duke felt himself shrink with defeat and made a circle around the living room she and Lady Jaye shared. His last night and he spends it fighting. What a great choice that was. He went into Scarlett's bedroom and ran his hand over her soft comforter. He pressed his head into her pillows and deeply inhaled her scent. He wished he had a bottle and could fill it with the sweet smell that intoxicated him so much. He lifted his head and walked over to her desk. He ran a finger over all the Stephen King novels she possessed. He was the one that got her started reading them. He noticed there was a book open on her desk with her handwriting in it. It looked like her journal. The entry it was open to was from today. She must have written it right after she had left his apartment earlier in the afternoon. The page had smudges. Duke guessed they were tearstains. He picked up the book and read the entry:
"Conrad's leaving. He told me today. He's being reassigned, something about heading up a new operation or whatever. I wasn't listening. All I know is that the most important person in my life is about to leave, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
There's so much more I wanted to tell him. So much more of me I wanted him to see, and so much more of him I wanted to get to know. Some days I wonder why I ever came into this stupid world. Then I remember that I had Conrad and it was all a little better.
Now I don't even have him. He's going, and seems perfectly ok with it. I'm guessing that's just him putting on his strong face. It pisses me off. Why can't he even act upset or angry? Or rail at the powers that be? Because he's a soldier. Probably always will be. That's what he prides his life on.
There's not a lot I can do. There's no way I'd get a transfer to go along with him. I've been thinking about resigning. I know it's a drastic step, and until today I thought I'd stay here forever, or at least until I retired. Now, all of that seems ridiculous. There's only one thing holding me back, and that's the question of how much Conrad would want me to be with him.
I wish he'd let me know. I wish he'd take me in his arms and tell me he'd never let go. I wish he'd just say that it was just a bad dream. I wish that I could spend my life with this man. I wish so hard that one day he'll see I am so completely in love with him that it hurts to be an inch away from him sometimes. But these are just wishes and I grew out of wishes a long time ago."
*****************************************************************
Duke's hands shook as he read the emotional passage. The power of Scarlett's words sucked the breath right out of him. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and reread the entry for more self-inflicted emotional torture. After the second time he even felt himself having to sniffle to hold back his own tears. Duke shut the book hoping that would take away all the sadness in his life.
Duke looked at the closed book and noticed that two pages had paperclips attached to them. He knew he shouldn't snoop, but his curiosity always got the better of him. Especially now, that he felt there was a chance that Scarlett would come back and end things with him. He flipped to the first paper clipped page and knew by the date that this entry was about his first date with Scarlett.
**************************************************************
"Tonight was the night. My very first date with "Conrad". I still have a hard time calling him that in private! After resisting his charms for the past 6 months, I finally gave in when he asked me out to a movie. I'm not sure what made me accept his offer, but it was definitely worth it! I want to write down exactly what happened so I don't forget a single moment of it.
It was a beautiful evening so Conrad and I decided to walk rather than drive to the movie theatre. It was about a 10 min walk, but it seemed much shorter. Duke…I mean CONRAD and I talked the whole way there.
Well, the movie was awful. Conrad wanted to see an action movie (go figure), so I thought it could be good. Wouldn't you know it; he probably chose the worst movie of all time to go see. I mean after 15 minutes people were walking out. We stayed longer than others. We got to about a half hour before I had to elbow my date awake.
So we went outside, and it was raining…I'm talking pouring down rain. Why didn't we check the weather forecast? So yeah, we are stranded at the movies in pouring rain. By this point, I started writing this date off as a disaster. I was about to call a cab for us, when Duke grabbed my hand and pulled me out into the rain. We ran down the streets until we hit a small café. At first I was annoyed, but when I saw us both looking like drowned rats, I couldn't help but to laugh. I never knew Mr. Schedule- Oriented-Man could be so spontaneous.
So we're in the café and Duke handed me a napkin to dry my face off and ordered us coffee. I noticed him staring at me. I called him on it and his response was that I was just "too beautiful to take his eyes off of". I nearly melted right then and there. The coffee came and we spent the evening talking about everything and anything. I think that's what made it so great. I got to find out about him, and he got to find out about me.
So the rain ended, and we decided to go back to base. I don't think either of us wanted it to end. When we finally got back, he was so apologetic. Like he had a weather machine and he made it rain! I couldn't let him go on thinking I had a terrible time, so when we got to my door I pulled him close and I kissed him. Not a big kiss, but a kiss. I told him that I had a great time, but next time I got to pick the movie. I laughed, but Duke was still stunned from the kiss. I must have really shocked him!
I'm really glad Conrad kept pursuing me over these months. I know I haven't made it easy for him. I'm still not sure why I accepted his offer, but I am so very glad I did. We've got a chemistry that I haven't felt with any other person."
Duke's heart felt warm while reading. He smiled remembering just how absolutely powerless he had been when Scarlett brought her lips to his own. He didn't like to admit it, but Scarlett made him weak. Toss that red mane around and he would do anything for her. He flipped to the second paper clipped entry and couldn't figure out by the date why it might be paper clipped, but as soon as he started reading he knew exactly why this entry was so important.
"The clock just flipped to 5:00 am. And why am I writing in my journal? Because I just had an amazing night and I need to write it down right away, because as always, I don't want to forget a minute of what happened.
Duke picked me up rather late this evening. He was taking me to a nice Italian place for dinner, but his reservations were late. We didn't end up sitting down for dinner until around 9pm. Duke has been very busy lately and wanted to make up all the time he couldn't spend with me by taking me out to this nice place. And let me just say, Conrad knows how to wine and dine a lady! It was easily the most romantic date I've ever been on. The restaurant was small and elegant. The lighting was dim, but you could see. There were candles on each table, which helped the romantic atmosphere. I had the most amazing Caesar Salad and Pasta dish I have ever had in my life. The violinist came around and played a song at our table. Conrad took my hand and kissed it. Anyway, enough about the date. I need to get to the real reason I am writing this entry at five in the morning.
After dinner, we get back to base and Duke drops me off at my door as usual. I went to put my pass card in the lock when I heard muffled sounds coming through the door. It didn't take me long to realize Jaye and Flint thought they had the room to themselves for the night. I knew I'd never get to sleep with all the noise, so Duke offered his quarters. At first I was hesitant, but I didn't really have anywhere else to crash. It was already late and I didn't want to disturb Cover Girl.
Off the topic already…so we get to his quarters and we sit and talk for a while. We talked about Flint and Jaye and even laughed about some of the sounds we heard them make. By this time I am squirming because I am still in a dress and heels. Duke notices and offers me one of his long shirts to change into. It smelled just like him.
I come out of his bedroom and he's just staring at me again. The way he did after we kissed for the first time. He said he didn't remember that shirt ever looking as good on him as it did me. It made me giggle. He came over towards me and put his arms around me. He starts speaking about how these past months have been incredible…and he tells me that he's in love with me. We've had talks that have gone around the "l" word, but tonight he actual said it. And of course, I said it back. He pulled me into his bedroom and kissed me so passionately that I tumbled onto his bed with him. We kissed some more. He ran his hands through my hair as I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. He has the most muscular arms I have ever felt. Conrad started down my neck and I felt like the temperature in the room erupted to 400 degrees. I felt him pull away and I sat up wondering what was wrong. He assured me that he wanted nothing more than to have me spend the night with him, but he wanted to make sure I was ready. Of course I was ready. It had been a long time since I was with a man whom I felt so strongly for. In fact, I have not felt this strongly for anyone else in my entire life.
Duke undressed into his boxers and gently pushed me back on his bed. His hand slowly crept underneath the material of the shirt I was borrowing and touched every sensitive part of my body. It's like he knew exactly where I liked to be touched. He sat me up roughly and pulled the shirt off my body and smothered me for skin-to-skin contact. He slid down my body and could tell how aroused I was after he slid his hand in my panties. I begged him to enter me. I was so close to an orgasm. He asked me once more if I was sure I was ready. I nodded. He slipped on a condom (I'm so glad we were safe) and gently entered me. Duke continued to be gentle and patient with me. He started a slow rhythm and then picked up speed as I felt the world crashing around us. There was a point where I could feel myself connecting to him on more than a primal level. I knew what he wanted and I knew what he hoped for. It was like I could see all he was. I could see his soul. We made love well into what was left of the evening and into the early morning. I think our love making sessions added up to three. We just couldn't keep our hands off of each other. We were starved for each other's touch.
Duke had to be on duty at 5am so I had to slip quietly back to my quarters. And here I am. Completely glowing and completely without sleep. I go on duty in roughly three hours so here's hoping to get a little shut-eye."
Duke rubbed the back of his neck feeling a bit hot from reading the entry. He sighed with a smile remembering how he was so happy she returned his affections. He had been scared to tell her that he loved her. He remembered how strongly he felt that they would never be torn apart once he learned her feelings were mutual. Duke flipped the journal back to the last page and set it back on her desk. Duke went to the window. It was already dark outside. His last day at headquarters was drawing to a close. He heard the door to the apartment open and he raced into the living room to see if Scarlett had returned.
"Oh, I thought you were Scarlett." Duke sighed sadly.
"Why? Where'd she go?" Lady Jaye asked. She could tell by Duke's disposition that something was wrong.
"For a walk. We had a fight." Duke revealed.
"Oh, Duke. I'm sorry. Care to talk?" Lady Jaye offered.
"Might as well. Scarlett knows. Flint knows. So I guess I'll tell you too." Duke shrugged and sat down on the couch with Jaye, "The phone call I got tonight was from the jewelers. I was planning on proposing to Scarlett within the next few months and he had finished restoring my grandmother's engagement ring."
"Oh, Duke, that's wonderful. But, why are you fighting? I know Scarlett has been hoping you'd ask her for awhile now." Lady Jaye asked still confused.
"She wanted me to, but I just couldn't. I can't ask her to wait for me when I'm not sure what is going on. I don't even know where I'm going. All I know is Hawk needs me. She brought up leaving the force, but I'm not about to let her throw her career away for me." Duke blurted out everything.
"I'm sure that's not how she sees it. From what you just told me I would think these are all excuses to get you out of commitment." Lady Jaye advised.
"That's not how I feel. I want more than anything to be with Shana. I can't imagine my life without her." Duke tried to convince Jaye otherwise. He let out a sad sigh, "To marry her would be a dream come true."
"So if it's your dream, why are you letting go of it?" Lady Jaye asked softly. She watched as Duke reflected upon her question, "Or is it Shana you are giving up on, and not the dream?"
"You know it's not like that." Duke threw back a little harsher than necessary.
"Isn't it? Then tell me what it is, Duke." Lady Jaye challenged.
"I have responsibilities…duties…" Duke started.
"And those are more important to you than your dream?" Lady Jaye challenged. She watched as Duke reflected again, "Those are more important than Scarlett?"
Duke had no words to say. Lady Jaye had him backed into a corner.
"You need to figure that out, and fast…before other people decide that for you." Lady Jaye advised.
"What choice do I have?" Duke whispered.
"You could let her go with you, like she offered." Lady Jaye suggested.
"I can't ask her to leave for me." Duke shook his head.
"Duke, listen it's her life, her choice. By making it for her, you're telling her you don't value her judgment. Is that true?" Lady Jaye questioned. She could see Duke starting to get uncomfortable about the emotional content of their conversation.
"Of course not!" Duke snapped.
"Then why are you letting your actions speak the opposite of what you mean?" Lady Jaye asked analytically.
"I hate it when you use your psychological training." Duke grumbled.
"So does Flint. Men can't stand to be told when they're acting like noble idiots." Lady Jaye answered with a smile.
"So…what do I do?" Duke asked with a little hopefulness in his voice.
"I can't tell you that. You have to look at all your options and then do the one that's best for you, and for Scarlett." Lady Jaye shrugged. She saw Duke's face fall a bit.
"You sit here and think. I need to get back to your place. Flint's going to think I'm trying to get out of helping him." Lady Jaye laughed a bit. Duke gave a soft smile before returning to his depressed state of mind. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes thinking about what Jaye said and exactly what he should do about it. He rolled his head forward after a few minutes and grabbed a picture of him and Scarlett that was sitting on the table next to the couch. He sniffled and then put it back on the end table. The lights were really starting to bother his eyes so he shut them off. Perhaps he would do better thinking in the dark.
The door opened ten minutes later. Duke was startled, but at the same time he was still zoning out as to what to do.
"Figures he'd just up and leave…" Scarlett grumbled and kicked off her shoes.
"Actually I've been waiting for you. I was hoping you'd come back." Duke called out into the darkness.
"Duke! What are you doing here in the dark?" Scarlett cried startled and embarrassed. She turned on the light.
"Just thinking…" Duke sighed. He grabbed the picture of the two of them again and studied it. He turned it around so Scarlett could see too. She sat next to him on the couch.
"Listen, I've been thinking…" Scarlett bit her lip.
"So have I…" Duke trailed off also nervous.
"I understand what you were saying earlier, and as much as I don't like it you're right." Scarlett hung her head.
"What?" Duke asked in disbelief.
"You're right. I know a long distance relationship wouldn't work. You'd find someone new…" Scarlett trailed off taking a deep breath.
"Shana…" Duke softly whispered and grabbed her hands. She pulled them away.
"So I'm going to let go. I won't try to convince you of my feelings anymore." Scarlett's voice faltered.
"Listen…" Duke tried to stop her.
"I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Scarlett whispered. Duke saw her body shaking and knew that she was sobbing.
"Hold on…" Duke tried to interrupt.
"I really think you'd better go. I don't think we should see each other anymore." Scarlett looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Shana, stop!" Duke cried out to stop her from talking this nonsense.
"What?" Scarlett replied sniffling.
"No, I'm not going. No, I don't agree we shouldn't see each other anymore. I do think this was meant to be." Duke replied.
"I'm giving you your out. It's ok, Conrad." Scarlett sobbed.
"I'm not taking it." Duke shook his head.
"What are you talking about?" Scarlett asked confused.
"I'm talking about showing you how important you are to me, instead of just saying it. I'm talking about proving to you how much I love you instead of just thinking I'm showing it." Duke tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Duke…" she whispered.
"Shana, it's Conrad... always and hopefully forever... and I want you to marry me." Duke revealed. His heart leapt into his throat. Scarlett looked quizzically at him still unsure what to make of the whole situation. Duke slid off the couch and down on one knee.
"It's not the most romantic environment. And I don't have a dozen roses, but it does come from the heart. I want you to be my wife. Nothing else matters to me more than you." Duke took her hands in his and kissed them.
"But…what about the reassignment?" Scarlett asked cautiously. She didn't want to build up her excitement for it to come crashing down again.
"What about it? You were ready to leave the service to be with me. Well I'm ready to match that commitment. I'll stay with you." Duke smiled at his offer.
"You can't mean that!" Scarlett replied shocked.
"I do. If you're not with me, then I'm not going." Duke shook his head. He felt good about the decision he reached.
"I don't know what to say…" Scarlett trailed off touched at Duke's offer.
"Well, 'yes' is what I was hoping for..." Duke laughed nervously.
"Are you sure about all this?" Scarlett asked one last time.
"The whole time you were gone I sat here thinking about it, but the whole time I knew I really didn't have to think about it. I just had to listen to my heart." Duke replied.
"What is it saying?" Scarlett started to smile.
"Right now, it's saying I can't go on without you. And it really wishes you'd answer my question before I die of anticipation." Duke smiled. Scarlett laughed.
"Ask me again." Scarlett suppressed her smile.
"Oh, um sure…later." Duke looked down hurt.
"No, Conrad, ask me again…right now." Scarlett moved to the edge of her seat. Duke looked up and grinned.
"Shana, will you do me the honor of being my wife?" Duke asked softly while gazing into her eyes. Scarlett tugged on his hands and pulled him up with her.
"Yes, Conrad. I love you and would be very happy to be your wife." She smiled happily and gave him a sweet romantic kiss.
"Oh, Shana, I am so happy." Duke replied with a huge smile on his face.
"One thing, Conrad." Scarlett frowned.
"Yes, darling, what is it?" Duke asked frowning.
"The ring is still at the jeweler's." Scarlett smiled.
"Yeah, I know…this wasn't much of a proposal…but you still said yes anyway." Duke laughed sadly.
"That's ok, you can ask me again when you get it…and I'll still give you the same answer." Scarlett smiled and kissed her now fiancée again.
"This is the happiest moment of my life." Duke smiled.
"Unfortunately, tomorrow is another story." Scarlett sighed sadly.
"But…we still have tonight." Duke reminded Scarlett slyly.
"Should we go to your place?" Scarlett asked getting ready to pack a few things.
"Nah, I think we should stay here. I don't want to see all my stuff packed up. I think that would ruin the mood." Duke shook his head.
"True…" Scarlett agreed. She smiled seductively and pulled Duke into a steamy kiss.
"I can't believe it." Duke grinned.
"What? That you asked me or that I said 'yes'?" Scarlett asked kissing him again.
"Both, I think." Duke intensified the kiss. "I think we should celebrate."
"What do you suggest?" Scarlett asked lazily gazing into his eyes.
"You and me. Here. No barriers between us." Duke grinned and ran his hands over the curves of her body.
"No barriers? Like no shirts?" Scarlett grinned seductively and started to unbutton Duke's shirt.
"No shirts…" Duke agreed and reached around to unzip her jumpsuit.
"No pants…" Scarlett smiled and unbuckled Duke's belt.
"Nope…" Duke agreed and pushed Scarlett's jumpsuit off her shoulders. Scarlett pushed Duke's pants down to his hips.
"We should really take our barriers down like this a lot more." Scarlett smiled at the site of Duke partially unclothed.
"You think so, Mrs. Hauser?" Duke asked tenderly. Scarlett gave a small soft laugh thinking about her new name.
"I certainly do." She nodded. She finished undressing herself and stood before her fiancée and tossed her red mane over her shoulders. Duke in turn finished undressing himself. He pulled her to him hungrily.
"I think this celebration should get on its way." Duke growled seductively. Scarlett nodded and pulled him into the bedroom.
They spent their last night together making love numerous times, not wanting the morning to come. Sleep did finally come upon them while they were spooned together talking and making promises about their future together.
Duke awoke to the morning light cursing it and wishing it back to the previous night. He looked at the time, and it was definitely time to get the day started. He slowly raised himself up on his elbow to see Scarlett sleeping beside him. Her red hair was strewn all over her pillow. A small smile painted her lips. This, Duke realized, is my future. And it felt so damn right. Now he couldn't even fathom why he had tried to push away the woman who meant everything to him. He was so incredibly thankful to his friends and God for helping him to make the right decision. He brushed some hair off of her face and her eyes fluttered open.
"Good morning, beautiful." Duke greeted her softly. He kissed her forehead. Scarlett stretched her muscles and sighed contentedly. "I'll take that as a good morning." Duke chuckled. Scarlett nodded. She yawned.
"Good morning, handsome." She replied and sat up to kiss his forehead. "How long have you been awake?"
"Only a few minutes…" Duke replied.
"So you were watching me sleep." Scarlett smiled.
"You are so beautiful. I just couldn't help myself." Duke answered rubbing her shoulder.
"I'm surprised me sleeping could hold your attention." Scarlett replied.
"You'll always have my attention. Always." Duke stressed.
"So how are you feeling?" Scarlett smiled.
"Never better." Duke stretched his own body.
"Listen, Duke. We still have time to rearrange our plans. I don't want you to regret anything. Anything we said or did last night." Scarlett softly dampened the spirit of the new morning.
"No. Shana, my decision is made. My place is with you. Nothing else matters." Duke rolled himself on top of her and planted kissed on her face, neck, and shoulders. The phone rang breaking up their romantic moment. Duke turned and stared at the phone.
"Well, aren't you going to get it?" Scarlett asked impatiently.
"It's your phone." Duke replied.
"But you're on top of me. Answer it." Scarlett nagged him. Duke relented and reluctantly picked up the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Ah, Duke I was guessing I would find you here." The voice of General Hawk greeted.
"General!" Duke exclaimed and clumsily shot out of bed. Scarlett watched Duke clumsily stumble out of the bed tangled in the sheets. She was amazed he didn't trip and fall.
"At ease, Conrad." General Hawk laughed, "I've been trying to get a hold of you. I tried your quarters and then your cell. When both of those didn't work, I figured I'd find you there. Tell Shana good morning for me."
Duke covered the earpiece, "It's Clayton. He says good morning." Scarlett laughed and extended the happy greeting back.
"Clayton, I'm glad you called. There's something important I need to tell you." Duke began feeling brave.
"Well that's going to have to wait for a little bit. I need both you and Scarlett in the control room ASAP. I have an announcement." Hawk replied getting down to the reason for his phone call.
"Yes, sir, we'll be right there." Duke said quickly not wanting to waste time.
"And Duke…" Hawk trailed off.
"Yes, General?" Duke asked.
"You both should get dressed first." He laughed and hung up the phone. Duke blushed a bit.
He turned to Scarlett, "That was our wake up call. We need to get moving."
"I guess that means I have to get up, huh?" Scarlett sighed. "I hope you don't mind wearing yesterday's uniform…" Scarlett trailed off. There was a knock at the door. Scarlett looked at Duke expectantly.
"First you want me to answer your phone. Now you want me to answer the door?" Duke cried out.
"Well, you're out of bed." Scarlett answered.
"This is not the way things will be when we are married!" Duke grumbled and went to the door. He looked out the peephole to see Flint standing there holding a clean uniform for Duke.
"Hey.." Duke smiled opening up the door.
"Yeah, I thought you might need a fresh one. Didn't know where on the floor you'd leave the one from yesterday. Well lookie there." Flint chuckled indicating a pile of Duke's and Scarlett's clothes from the previous night.
"At least I can find my clothes in the morning." Duke retorted.
"Now that hurt, man. I'm offended." Flint teased. He produced a small box and shoved it in Duke's hands.
"What is this?" Duke asked.
"I went to the jeweler's for you this morning. Jaye told me about the talk you had with her. I figured this might come in handy." Flint smiled genuinely. Duke opened the box and found his grandmother's engagement ring sparkling like new.
"Thanks, Dash." Duke nodded and went to see him out.
"You are going to ask her aren't you?" Flint prodded.
"I don't know Dash, you'll have to wait and see." Duke replied trying not to give it away. He stuffed the box into the pocket of his uniform.
"I hope you do the right thing, Duke. Don't screw this up." Flint sighed as he left. Duke shut the door.
"Who was it?" Scarlett asked emerging dressed and ready to go.
"Flint, he brought me a clean uniform." Duke replied and went back into the bedroom. He changed quickly making sure the ring was in the pocket of his new pants.
They left a few minutes later after making sure each other looked presentable.
They entered the control room surprised to find most of the team assembled. They had assumed Hawk wanted to talk to them privately. The joes were standing in two lines. Duke took his place next to Hawk and Scarlett went to stand next to Jaye and Flint who saved her a space.
"You know what this is about?" Scarlett whispered to Flint and Jaye curious about the assembly of the team.
"No clue, Hawk just said it was important." Flint shrugged.
"I guess so we can all say good bye." Lady Jaye sighed sadly.
"Duke's going to resign…" Scarlett whispered.
"What?" Flint cried loudly.
"Shhhh!" hissed about all the joes standing behind them.
"Did you say what I think you did?" Lady Jaye wanted to assure her own ears.
"Hawk's getting ready to speak," Flint noticed before Scarlett could reassure her.
"Well thanks for joining us. Its not a good sign for the man of the hour to be late for his own celebration." Hawk laughed putting his hand on Duke's shoulder. Many of the other joes laughed as well.
"I think we should talk first, General." Duke tried to persuade him.
"Nope. You're not going to get out of this one, my
friend." Hawk smiled as he turned toward the joes, "Now we all know that the brass at the Pentagon decided they wanted Duke to head up a new Operation. In Alaska, of all places." Many of the joes gasped at the news of how distant his placement would be. Even Duke took a step back. "I think its safe to say No one here was happy with the news that Duke may be leaving us. When I got pulled away to run operations, I chose Duke to be field commander because he's a man who leads by example. He's a 'man of action', and there's no denying that he's had an impact on the lives of all of us." Hawk continued eyeing Scarlett. "So faced with the prospect of losing one of the family, and wrecking a team that's built on solidity and fraternity, I decided to do something to change their minds." A murmur swept through the crowd. Duke gave Hawk a confused look. "To make a long story short, I called in ever favor I had, pried loose some points from the brass and well... Duke, you're not going anywhere except back to your quarters to unpack." Hawk smiled proudly.
"I'm staying?" Duke asked not sure to believe the general's words. Hawk nodded and the whole base cheered. Scarlett squealed with joy and hugged Lady Jaye and Flint. The crowd became hushed as Hawk opened his mouth to speak again.
"Not only that, I made sure they understood that if they ever try to reassign anyone under my command, they may have a little bit of trouble getting cooperation. You may also want to call the President and thank him too. He put in a good word for you." Hawk continued.
"Thank you, General!" Duke saluted ecstatic.
"At ease," Hawk laughed. The base was still excited about Duke staying and everyone was talking. Duke took Hawk aside.
"Yeah, well…I did, but if you don't mind I'd like to make an announcement of my own.
"The floor's yours." Hawk motioned with his hand to take the floor. Hawk whistled loudly so everyone would listen.
"As many of you know, the service is my life. I've been happy here, and will continue to be. You are all my friends." Duke began. Everyone clapped. Duke could feel his throat closing up and his heart dropping into his stomach. Now that he had started, he wasn't sure he could get through what he wanted to say. He took a deep breath and took a step towards Scarlett. "When I found out I may be leaving though, I found that the service wasn't the most important thing to me after all. I realized something meant a lot more than that. Someone meant a lot more than anything." Duke stopped in front of Scarlett. Scarlett looked at him and her eyes began to water with his sentiment towards her.
"There is just one person I've ever met who made me feel like I do right now. There's just one person that I don't think I could stand being a million miles from. There's just one person that completes me perfectly." Duke knelt down on one knee in front of her. Scarlett began to cry. He took Scarlett's hand in his own. "She's my best friend and my partner…and I'd like her to be my wife." Duke continued. Many of the joes gasped at his words. Lady Jaye took Flint's hand in her own. Duke felt around in his pants pocket and produced a small box. He opened it and turned it towards her, "Shana, will you marry me?"
"Oh, Conrad, YES!" Scarlett cried through her tears. Duke slid the ring on her left ring finger. She pulled Duke up and hugged him tightly. He swung her around. And they kissed tenderly. The joes cheered. Lady Jaye squealed and hugged Flint. Hawk stepped up and gave both Duke and Scarlett a congratulatory hug. He whistled again to get the attention of the joes.
"When I told Duke he could have the floor, I didn't think he would actually be on the floor proposing." Hawk smiled. The joes laughed.
"Sorry General, I just wanted everyone to see me become an honest man." Duke apologized. He heard Flint snicker above the laughter.
"No need to apologize, Duke. I just have one request." Hawk's eyes sparkled with happiness for the couple.
"Yes?" Duke and Scarlett asked together.
"That all of us get invited to the reception." Hawk smiled broadly.
"I think that can be arranged." Duke grinned and pulled Scarlett at the hip close to him.
"Well, in that case…Roadblock!" Hawk called.
"Yes, sir?" Roadblock saluted.
"I think a celebration is in order." Hawk decided. Roadblock nodded. Scarlett and Duke looked into each other's eyes.
"I'll get right on it without delay, we're going to get ready for a wedding day!" Roadblock smiled.
"Now if I know you two, I figure you'll want some alone time. So you're dismissed. Everyone else is to report back to work. We got a world to protect." Hawk nodded.
"Thank you, General." Duke and Scarlett both saluted. They both went over to Lady Jaye and Flint. Flint hugged Duke and Lady Jaye grabbed Scarlett into a hug.
"I can't believe it…" Lady Jaye let go of Scarlett, "Oh, Duke…that was just so beautiful. I am so glad everything worked out between you two."
"Thanks." Duke hugged Lady Jaye. Flint hugged Scarlett.
"Now, you two go have a fun day off. And uh Duke…you better get your own clean uniform this time." Flint laughed.
"Oh, Duke…is this really happening? Did you really ask me?" Scarlett couldn't believe the happiness.
"Oh, Shana…I wouldn't have it any other way. You've made me the happiest man in the world.
"I think this calls for another celebration." Scarlett decided smiling.
"Me, too." Duke agreed equally as excited. He linked arms with her and started back to her apartment. "You think this will make for a paper clipped entry in your journal?"
"You read my journal?" Scarlett asked surprised.
"Just the paper clipped entries." Duke smiled. Scarlett's cheeks rouged.
"Well then you should know exactly what I want when we get back to my room." She said slyly and skipped ahead of him back to her place. Duke grinned and chased after her.