So this is the first fanfic I've written in a very long time. Like three years, so I'm really not sure how it is. This may be the first chapter of a longer story, or it may just stay a oneshot forever. I'm really not sure if it's good enough to bother continuing(I also don't have much of a plot planned out... _). I would really appreciate reviews, particularly if they contain constructive criticism or opinions on whether or not I should continue :3. Thanks!

Breaking Point

James Potter gazed at Lily Evans in the warm light of the Gryffindor common room. It was getting late, and, though most students had already returned to their dormitories and to bed, a few still lingered in armchairs, finishing last-minute homework. James's three unshakable friends, however, were not among them. Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin had already gone to bed, and Sirius Black, James's best mate and usual partner in crime (or pranks, really; they were never terribly serious transgressions) had taken James's prized invisibility cloak (it was after curfew, after all) and gone down to the kitchens for a late-night snack. Thus, James was left with two options: work on a Potions essay that he had been putting off for three days now, or gaze at Lily Evans, who had been finishing up the same Potion essay, and had nodded off, her quill slipping from her slack hand and creating a small ink blot where she had been writing. Her head drooped and her long, brilliantly red hair fell across the parchment, in grave danger of falling into the still-wet ink. And James chose to gaze at Lily Evans.

He wondered vaguely if he should wake her. The Potions essay they had both been attempting to finish (the difference was that Lily was nearly finished, while James had barely started) was due tomorrow, and he didn't think she would much like waking the next morning to find herself slumped over on the couch in the common room with a still-unfinished essay slipping from her lap. James knew he should wake her, but he didn't. If she were awake, he wouldn't be able to look at her like this. He would have to compliment her teasingly, or casually ask her on yet another date, never betraying the depth of the feelings behind his empty words. He would have to pretend that his feelings for her were merely a teenage crush, that she was nothing more than his final conquest; the one girl that he had never been able to win over with his good looks and Quidditch skills. An unfinished project.

Because Lily Evans was so much more than that. He had had many flings and girlfriends, but they had been ephemeral and superficial. She was the only girl he had really thought about since he was twelve years old. She was gorgeous, and brilliant, and sarcastic. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was, James was sure of it, the love of his life, and it was a rare moment indeed that he could let his guard down and truly appreciate all that she was: the way her ginger hair gently looped in soft waves, cascading over her slender shoulders, the way her pale, slim fingers grasped her quill (gently, but with resolve), her glittering green eyes, which, although they were currently covered by her almost translucent eyelids and deep orange lashes, were seared into James's memory. He even loved every single one of her flaws and imperfections: the way the left side of her upper lip arched slightly higher than the right, the way the nails on her pinkies were short and nubby because she bit them, the way she was just slightly too skinny. Every single thing.

Continuing to stare at the object of his affections, James reflected on how he had come to be where he was. How was it that Lily Evans had come to feel nothing for him except overpowering hatred? How was it that she had never really paid attention to his all-too-frequent professions of love? How was it that no one thought of him as anything more than a troublemaker and a Quidditch star, well-liked but never quite taken seriously? Almost as soon as he had begun in this vein of thought, he felt a stab of self-loathing, because he knew, of course, that he himself was entirely to blame. He was the one who had shamelessly bullied Severus Snape, Lily's best friend (at least until their relatively recent falling-out), even though he knew it made Lily furious. He was the one who had spoken not one entirely serious word since he set foot in Hogwarts. It was no wonder no one really took him seriously. He didn't think anyone besides himself really understood the true depth of his feelings for Lily Evans, except perhaps Sirius, and if Sirius did understand, it wasn't because James had ever explained it to him. He simply knew James well enough to see the carefully concealed earnestness in his eyes.

It was at that moment, while James was thoroughly occupied with his thoughts and his careful examination of Lily Evans, that Sirius Black returned from the kitchens, and, not noticing the slumbering Lily Evans, said rather loudly,

"Alright, Prongs? Thanks for the cloak."

James, who had not noticed Sirius entering the room, looked up with a jerk as soon as he heard Sirius begin to speak, but he had not looked up quickly enough for Sirius to fail to notice what he had been occupied with just a moment ago. Normally, Sirius would have teased him good-naturedly about it, acknowledging wordlessly what they never spoke about: James's love, actual love, for Lily.

As it was, Sirius's words had caused Lily to wake with a start, so Sirius merely raised his eyebrows and gave James a knowing smile, and James hastily lowered his eyes to his unfinished potions essay. Lily, meanwhile, took in her surroundings: the by now nearly empty common room. Sirius standing near the portrait hole, a silvery cloak tucked under one arm and a napkin piled high with dinner leftovers in his hand, smiling knowingly at James. James sitting in an armchair near hers, focusing almost too intensely on a piece of parchment which contained only a few lines written at the very top in messy handwriting, his quill suspiciously still and ink-less. The potions essay she had been working on sitting forgotten on her lap, a rather large ink blot marring the parchment where her quill tip had been resting. After blearily taking everything in for a couple of seconds, something seemed to click in her brain and she said, suddenly panicked,

"What time is it? Where is everyone? I must have fallen asleep!"

Sirius waited for James to come out with some teasing comment, as he usually did, but nothing was forthcoming, so Sirius said, "It's almost midnight. Most people are in bed by now."

"Midnight?!" Lily echoed in disbelief. "Ugh, it was only ten last I remember. I can't believe I fell asleep for that long."

Sirius merely shrugged and headed for the stairs that went up to the boys' dormitory, waving over his shoulder and calling "Good luck finishing that essay, you two! Try not to flirt too much!"

James, who was not much in the mood for banter, merely shot the back of his best friend's head an irritated look. Lily, on the other hand, called out, "Shut it, Sirius!" Sirius turned and gave both of them a mischievous smirk before disappearing up the stairs.

Lily let out a hefty sigh and returned to her Potions essay. After a few minutes of staring blankly at the parchment, Lily turned to James, who was busy surveying his own essay. "Oi, Potter," she said, rather demandingly. James looked up at her, but remained silent.

She frowned at him. "Why didn't you wake me? You've been sitting there for a while now, yeah?"

"Sorry," James said quietly, and looked back down at his parchment. He normally would have responded with a teasing and mildly flirtatious comment, but he didn't feel much like it just then. After a moment of deliberation, however, he decided he had better fake it. He wouldn't want her to guess that something might be wrong. So he looked back up at her, the same infuriating, arrogant grin he always wore plastered on his face. "Guess I was too transfixed by your brilliance, Sleeping Beauty." Lily, rolling her eyes and returning to her essay, had no way of knowing how true that statement really was.