It's funny. This will most likely be one of my most heartfelt and emotional and deep stories, and it's a FanFiction for High School Musical. Oh well. Don't worry. I will defiantly go back to Twilight. This story started off as pure smut and turned into something magical. Yea! Anyway, yeah, I hope you like it. This story is going to show how people look at one another and how you look at yourself. It also shows sort of the life of a budding homosexual and how to cope with that. It also goes into true love and how secrets can't stay secret for very long. It has many messages, so yes. I really hope you enjoy this. I will try to write as often as possible. And please review!!! Matt is played by the fabulously sexy Sean Faris. Pouring lots of my soul into this story (but there will be smut), so please enjoy. The beginning's OK, but will hopefully get better.

Chapter 1

The Beginning

Hello. My name is Troy Bolton. I don't know if you know me, I barely know me. I'm just some random person who has lived next to you for four years. Now I'm leaving college and trying to get out of here as fast as possible. I want to tell you my story. Actually, I just wanted to tell my story. I wanted to get it off my chest. And now, since I'm telling you, maybe I'll be able to tell more people. I told the people who went to my high school and that never worked out well. So I told none of my new classmates. But I'm telling you know. The person I've lived next to who barely knows me.

I'm gay.

I am 100% gay. There is no denying it. I like men. I don't like women at all. And my first boyfriend Matt showed me this.

This story is a little gruesome with lots of imagery. So if you don't want to read about hot, steamy, gay sex, please put the letter down. I'm fine. In my mind you read my story and I finally told someone the whole truth.

My story isn't a happy one. But it isn't a sad one. It's confusing, just like my orientation. I don't really know. You could say that it's sad. You could say that it ends happily. You could also say that it ends depressingly. But that's what life is. It's just sad and happy and always contradicting itself. Life sucks in a good way. I can't explain life. All I can say is that the ending of this story will be extremely happy and heartrendingly sad. Well, you'll just have to figure that out for yourself, that is, if you are still reading this after my warning.

I'm going to start when I first found out that I found men attractive. I was almost 16 and my friend Matt was over at my house sleeping over. We've had tons of sleepovers before, nothing special. We just wanted to hang out like friends do. We've done it before. Nothing had happened at those sleepovers. I always wondered what happened at this one that made it so different.

Before I start this story I want to use two adjectives to describe Matt: open and horny. The adjective I want to use for me is confused.

The trouble and truth started while Matt was taking a shower. I had to go to the bathroom and the only toilet actually working was the one that was being occupied by the shower taker. I thought that the person in the shower was my mother. I'd seen my mother naked before, she'd seen me naked before, so I walked in to take a piss. I'd done this before so I didn't care.

I walked in to realize that Matt was the completely naked body showering. My first thought was, of course, Why didn't he lock the door? Then I remembered that he was quite open. My next thought was, The water compliments his muscles quite nicely. I realized that was a pretty gay statement, but I didn't really care. All I really cared about was his body.

His skin was a pretty dark tan. His hair was dark, short, and matted. His neck was large and made him sort of look like a football player (although he was a basketball player). His face was perfection in teenage heartthrob form. He had a small mole above his lip. This small imperfection made the perfection even more of a perfection, because who wants pure pretty boy? His shoulders glistened under the water. His chest was to die for. It was large and perfectly shaped. I couldn't describe why it was perfectly shaped, it just was. I wanted to rub my fingers over his dark pink nipples. His abs was bulging, symmetrical, and just pure amazing. His arms swung nicely in their muscular form. And then there was his penis. It was flaccid, but it was still enormous. It hung there, urging to be touched. His muscled, hairy legs went for miles and were a perfect ending to the sight I was seeing.

I then thought Why do I like this? Why is he so attractive? Oh my God, am I gay? I could feel the tightness in my pants that I was deeply ashamed of. In one split second I found my same sex best friendly irrevocably attractive. How could this be? There were no warning signs. No small steps. Just one large, "I like men" step. But why? I had no idea what was going on at the moment, but I really enjoyed it. I really did like men and I wasn't too angry at myself. My parents weren't conservative naïve idiots. They would still love me. I had never been this hard in my life.

Matt realized I had been staring. "Well, if you're going to be in here, can you at least be helpful and pass me the soap?" he asked. I turned around to grab the soap on the counter, but I didn't want to. I wanted to stand there and watch him forever. I wanted to be in this moment forever. But I couldn't. Eventually I would get bored or my libido would end it himself. Awkwardly into my pants.

My hand shook as I passed Matt the soap. I stupidly looked down for a second and Matt noticed. He grabbed his massive sword and said, "I know it's big. Be jealous." I was jealous. Jealous that it was in his hands and not mine. But why would I want that? Why would I want to give him a hand job? I had never done that before, so how would I know if I liked it? Why did it arouse me?

I quickly left the bathroom, my pants about to explode from the pressure. The real torturous bliss didn't start until somewhere near one in the morning. We were doing one of Matt's favorite pastimes: masturbate to porn. At the time I didn't know why Matt didn't just go find a girlfriend. He must have gotten lots of offers. He can't like masturbating. I didn't know at the time that he didn't like girls. I didn't know that secretly he was staring at the guys and getting off on them. It was so secret, not even Matt knew.

We were watching one of Matt's favorite movies with both of our flies unzipped and both of our hands on our poles. I know, we masturbated together. And it was only weird the first time. After that, we got used to each other. We were both too horny.

I was sitting a little behind Matt so that he wouldn't realize that I wasn't actually watching the movie but that I was watching Matt's penis and his ever so graceful hand as it slid up and down him. I suddenly got that quivering feeling that I have felt so many times before. I tried to stop myself, but I just couldn't let go, couldn't stop pumping. I slowed down as the come escaped me.

Matt looked at me and the mess I had made. He laughed. "Wimp," he said. "You can hold on for long." He turned around and continued pumping.

Suddenly, and "Ow!" escaped from Matt's mouth.

I asked what was wrong and he said he had cut himself on his zipper. He then asked in his adorable puppy dog face, "Would you, maybe, want to finish me off? I can't stop now, but my hand hurts so much."

"Then use your other hand!" I asked, disgusted and aroused.

"I hurt it today in basketball," he answered.

"Oh, all right," I said in my terrible I-don't-want-to-but-secretly-I-totally-do voice. I grabbed his large, erect penis and started rubbing. I moved my head toward the screen but my eyes were glued to his crotch. He moaned and I went faster and faster. It ended quickly. His cock shook wildly as his come flew upward. Some hit my face. I was slightly happy. A little touched my lip. I was curious so I stuck my tongue out and grabbed the come. I enjoyed it a lot. It tasted good actually. I don't know why though.

After he stopped breathing hard, he asked me if I wanted to play Madden. I accepted the offer, extremely happy that I had just made Matt come, even if he was watching the screen. In my mind, his eyes stared at me.

I really hoped you liked it. More is on the way. More smut. Nice, good, steamy smut. And depression. AKA drama!!! So yeah. I think this story will work out. The problem is I have like three other ideas for stories and don't know if I can do them all at once. Gahh!!! I don't want to abandon my Jacward story, but I might for the time being. And then there's a Mike Newton story I want to write. I will hopefully be done with all of these sometime in the future. Just please review and enjoy.