Raoul Gets a Break
(I thought Raoul should finally get a break from all the fop bashing in fanfictions, so here it is! Just to tell you, this takes place in a talk show, and a rabidcow am the host.)
Cow: Hello, everyone and welcome to the fun new talk show, Raoul gets a Break! Today we have the very Vicomte himself. Raoul, can you tell us how you feel about these phanfictions?
Raoul: (crying) Oh, Jossum, I feel so hurt! How could anyone think to write something so horrible about me? I mean, what's not to like? Oh, silly me, I seemed to messed up my hair! (takes out a hand mirror and brush and starts fixing his hair. Crowd boos)
Oh, see? There they go again! Yea, let's all go and tease the poor innocent Raoul! All I did was try to save my dear Christine, who I might add respects me, from the Phantom, and suddenly I have all these enemies! What did I do? (cries again)
Awsum Jossum: All this poor man has done is love his childhood playmate, and he has a bad reputation! Well, RAoul, we have a very special guest here today-
Raoul: You do?
Cow: Um...yes, we do...Everyone, let's give a big round of applause for Christine Daae!
(Christine enters from the side of the stage, the crowd cheers)
Cow: Hello Christine. Can you tell us what you think of your lover?
Christine: Well, he's not really the brightest man, but-Oh, who am I kidding? He's the dumbest ass anyone will ever come across, and I regret ever meeting him
Raoul: Oh, Christine I love you too! (Crowd boos again)
Cow: I would like to remind the audience that this is called Raoul gets a break...
Raoul: Yes, and the show should live up to it's reputation!
Cow: What reputation?
Raoul: ummmmmm...
Cow: Raoul, we have another guest. Say hello to the hot Phantom!
(phantom enters from the side of the stage, the crowd goes wild. Phangirls jump from the audience and swarm him.The cowgets out a bat and beats them all away)
Cow: Hello, Phantom. Would you like to tell us what you think of Mr. de Chagney?
Phantom: He is a stupid fop who took my Christine away from me, and shall die
(Christine hears her name being mentioned and stands up eagerly, looking around)
Christine: Whuzzah? Oh, Phantom take me! I don't want to be with him! (points at Raoul, who is now jamming his finger up his nose)
Phantom: What? Oh, sure! (grabs Christine and runs off)
Raoul: Where's the shiny lady going?
Cow: Places unknown, Raoul. Places unknown. Well, that's all for tonight! Our conclusion? Well, this idiot will never get a break!
Raoul: Bye bye!
(curtains close)