A/N: At times, I get depressed and write angsty stuff. I do it quite often actually. This is an exception, unfortunately. What I feel and do in my unconscious infatuation is not up to me. I don't quite understand it myself, but I needed to vent. And I guess now I'm sharing it with you guys. Review if you'd like.

Of the Dir en Grey concert. March 23, 2006

Dedicated to Kyo

Staring down at the figure unable to be reached, yet so close...

I could hear my heart pounding loudly in my ears.

It was the only thing I could hear in a physical sense, nothing else, not the stomping or screaming by the people next to me.

Not hearing the music, not hearing his voice. I felt it. It ran through my soul, from the edges of my hair to the very point of my fingertips.
I drowned in it, savored the sweet taste of death by love as it filled my being. My heart was breaking in two, and I was inexplicably happy.
Maybe even delusional. The spinning lights blinded me, obscured my vision, but I kept my eyes looking in front. I knew he was there.
He couldn't hear me, I could hear him. I could feel the vibrations of his voice, and I felt the beat of my heart rattle at it's awakening.
I wanted to do more, I wanted to be completely immersed, be right there in front of him. To scream with him. To become one.
I wanted to grow wings out of my back and soar through the skies with clouds of red, the pictures he painted with the words spilling from his open mouth. Screaming, yelling, weeping hysterically, that was him and me. Singing with my hoarse voice and putting whatever I had left from life into it, trying to reach him. I wanted to grab him. I wanted to be held so close, and so tight, the world would blur around me.
He was so close to me, he was right there. But he was so far away...so far away...holding his heart and grasping it as it dripped crimson agony, a blessing and a curse to me. I let it wash me over. I heard the sweet words mumbled, as soft as a kiss from his bloodied lips.
I reached out to take his hand.

It wasn't there.

He wasn't mine.

My heart was still broken, and I knew that. I still cried out as the darkness came again, trying to reach him. Trying to get it back.

I knew the truth.

The truth that applied only to me.

His heart was one that could never be embraced.