WOOOT Finally I posted this! I've been suffering from a major writers block and it was just awful BUT I DID IT I'm sure I've lost like loads of readers but seriously, every time and went and sat down by my laptop to write my mind went completely blank :p I hope you all don't hate me too much!

Well, this is just a starter, it's carried on from the prologue I put up on I Am Rose. The chapters will get longer I promise!

Enjoy!

Rose knocked three times onto her sister's apartment's door and waited, her eyes looking to the floor, her cheeks stained with tears. She felt lost, and her sister was the last person on her list that would be able to help, but she didn't have anyone else. She didn't want to go back to the manor, she was too embarrassed to, and couldn't bear the questions and concerned looks from everyone there. Her sister was her last resort.

After what seemed like years, the door swung open, revealing Lily in her sweatpants and tank top, her hair in a messy bun and she seemed to still be rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Rose was confused, it wasn't early at all; it had just gone 8 AM. When she was living with Damian they both always woke up before eight, it was just something they found normal, sleeping it till 12 didn't happen often but the nights where Damian was out patrolling were exceptions.

"Rose? What are you doing here?"

Rose blinked, sending a blank stare Lily's way. That was not how she expected her to sound, maybe annoyed yes, for appearing on her doorstep without any warning early on a Saturday, but she sounded irritated, appalled, confused.

"Can I crash here for a little while please?" She said the words separately, slowly; it took everything she had to get them out of her mouth. The lump in her throat was not going.

"Why? What's wrong with your place?"

The lump intensified and she felt her eyes brim with tears once again. Lily seemed to notice because her gaze softened.

"Hey sweetie, did something happen with Damian?"

Rose just nodded and let out a muffled sob. Lily pulled her into a hug and Rose cried on her big sister's shoulder. They had grown apart since Lily made her move out from the manor, Rose hadn't forgiven her, for everything she had done, their relationship was tense and they rarely made conversation.

But they had their moments.

"You can stay here," Rose knew there was a condition, "but there are tons of boxes everywhere, we're moving tomorrow petal."

"I can just stay here after you've left, make it my own."

"Baby we've already sold it."

Rose squeezed Lily tight and cried harder, she hadn't anywhere to go.

"I know, you can stay with your friend...What's his name? Callum? Caleb?"

Rose smiled against Lily's shoulder. "Colin."

"Yeah, him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind you staying there."

Closing her eyes, she thought about it for a moment and then nodded. "Okay, thank you."

Colin was really the only friend she had now, he had stuck with her throughout all these years and she was bewildered as to why, she was a pretty difficult person.

Lily patted her back and pulled her into her home.

"Mark? Could you go and get Rose's things from her car, please?"

New boyfriend Mark was no longer new boyfriend Mark, but husband Mark. Lily and Mark had gotten married 2 years ago, Rose was a bridesmaid, along with Lily's two other close friends. It was a lovely night, Lily looked beautiful as usual, and Mark looked as if he was going to faint any second. And they are both happy, Rose thought, as she watched Lily make a fuss over him and Mark laugh and roll his eyes.

He waved at Rose and disappeared out the door to get her things.

The apartment seemed empty, there were piles and piles of boxes everywhere, and the only thing left was the beds and a few kitchen equipment left so they could have their food that day.

Rose walked over to the room she used to call her own and sat down on the bed, it looked even more like a hotel room than before. Falling backwards on her bed, she closed her eyes, trying not to think about anything, but failing miserably.

She ended up thinking about her relationship with Damian, it seemed years ago they were sleeping side by side or making breakfast together, as it was only yesterday night Damian had told her they should take a break. She remembered it so clearly, as if it had just happened. He told her their relationship wasn't a healthy one and that her changes were affecting him a lot, he had said that many times before, along with other thing such as not being his same Rose, or disliking her recent attitude to everything. He said he needed some time to think, and that he was restless and tired of trying to make everything okay between them before they went to bed.

Now that she thought about it, they had been this way for over a year, they had grown distant. But it wasn't Rose's fault, she would say to him, it wasn't her fault that she had to keep seeing Dr. Owen, he sometimes asked her questions which she found strange and uncomfortable.

"Have you ever seen something that's not really there, Rose?"

"Tell me, you haven't heard voices in your head recently, have you not?"

"Do you feel more aggressive lately?"

He ended up prescribing her some sort of medicine, which Rose refused to take, she didn't understand what it was, why she needed it and what was wrong with her. Damian insisted she took it, and every time she didn't each day she'd feel stranger and stranger, lighter and lighter. Her manner and thoughts changed a lot as well, when she didn't take her medicine, sometimes she would yell things and scream others, she would hit and shove anyone who was close enough to her, walking around on her own became forbidden, Damian made sure someone was with her at all times. Her drawings become darker and slightly more 'disturbing than beautiful,' as Damian had put it before.

And she never ever said yes to training, not once in 4 years, which came back around in the end, she was walking back from university one day and someone managed to pull her into an alley way and steal some of her money, making sure to cut her arm, just in case she refused. Damian had had enough after that incident, he had screamed that she was a selfish bitch who didn't care about anyone else's feelings but her own, he told her how broken he would be if she got kidnapped again, he said he'd feel lost and incomplete, but yet she didn't do it. It wasn't because she didn't want to anymore, it was just a habit and she had grown so used to saying no it was routine now, and Rose hated changing routine for anything.

Rose sighed and kicked her sneakers off, getting under her bed covers she decided to sleep for a bit, maybe it was all just a dream and she'd wake up next to Damian's sleeping face in the morning.

If only dreams were true.

Please tell me what you think! What are your thoughts so far? :D