A Little More Than Gender
Summary: After their family's been brutally killed Itachi forces Sasuke into a new school, in a new town, with a new name and of course; A new sex. That's when he meets the ugly 'Natsumi', who claims to be a girl...But really, I think we all know what the case is here. SasuNaruSasu, AU
Warning: Crossdressing, Shounen-ai (boys love), my bad humour
Disclaimer: I don't owe Naruto…They owe me -3- (I have no idea what I just meant by that…)
A/N: OKAY. This is my baby. I've been working on it for five years now. Even if I'm not that much of a Naruto fan anymore I still haven't been able to give up on this story. Sooo, hope you like it. Also, re-reading it now, two years later I realised that some of the things that I've writte are extremaly sexist and transphobic, and I've tried my best to change that. Taken away and change some jokes. Sorry If I've missed anything, hope I won't offend anyone...Kisses3
The Ugliest Girl I have Ever Seen
"JIRAIYA! WHERE THE HELL IS MY BRA?!"
A white haired man looked up from the newspaper with a small smirk dancing over his lips.
"You know... That is one question a godfather never should have to answer their sons"
Uzumaki Naruto glared at the man in front of him
"It's your fault that I'm asking about it in the first place! And if you would let my underwear's be I wouldn't have to ask you, you old pervert!" he screamed, pointing an accusing finger at him. The man chuckled lightly at the blonde before him, nodding towards the staircase in the hallway.
"I didn't touch them; if you cleaned up in your room once in a while you'd probably find your clothes easier. Check under your bed"
Naruto stormed out of the kitchen, still pissed at his godfather for some unknown reasons (or not so unknown; it was his god damn fault he was in this mess to start with!). Jiraiya chuckled slightly and shook his head amused. He was starting to think that the blonde was getting into the role as a female a bit too well; seriously, the PMSing was driving him crazy. Sure, women were beautiful and all, but sometimes they could be a real pain.
Then again Naruto wasn't a woman; he was a 16 year old male brat, who was on a mission. And that mission included dressing up as a girl.
"You want me to WHAT!?" Naruto's face was tomato read, if it was from anger or embarrassment Jiraiya couldn't tell, either way the boy was pissed.
"Come on Naruto, it'll only be for a few months! I swear, after that I'll buy you all ramen in the world!" Naruto sighed frustrated and rubbed his temples.
"You're completely out of your mind, old man" he mumbled. "Why on earth should I agree to this? It's insane!"
"I know that, but it's needed! Besides, the principal is a friend of mine, and she promised to take care of you!"
"Well that makes me feel so much better" Naruto said sarcastically. Jiraiya made a pathetic attempt to pout.
"Come one now! You're half gay anyway; this is a chance for you to use your feminine side!" Naruto felt his whole face twitch at the older man's words.
"First of all" Naruto started, raising a finger while angrily glaring at his go father. "Gay does not equale feminine okay? We've had this talk before. Second, there is no way I could pull it off, I'm dtoo butch!" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Okay maybe not that butch, but enough to have a problem passing as a girl"
"I'm sure we'll find a way"
"What is it you want me to do anyway?" he asked frustrated. Jiraiya, happy that the blonde decided to listen to him, sat down on a chair on the other side of the table and started to talk.
"You might have heard that just a few months ago the whole Uchiha family was killed, and now I'm talking about everyone with the last name Uchiha. Uchiha Fugaku, Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Madara, Uchiha Obito, everyone!"
Naruto swallowed. He never thought his godfathers reasons would be involving death of people. Would it be life threatening to him if he agreed? Not that he would…
"I recognize the Uchiha name, but I still don't get why you want me to dress up as a girl and attend to a new school…" Jiraiya held up a hand to silence him.
"As I said, every one of the Uchihas was killed; except for two. Those who survived were Uchiha Itachi and his younger brother Uchiha Sasuke"
Naruto nodded, weakly remembered reading something about it. The names seemed to ring a bell.
"So where do I fit in to the picture?" he asked.
"Hold on, I'm not finished yet. The murderer of the family was a guy named Orochimaru. This we know because he has a habit of leaving the bodies in certain…conditions" They both made a face. "Also he sometimes tends to bring some with him for his "experiments". Anyway, we've been after this guy for a really long time now, and we believe that he won't leave his job unfinished; He'll most definitely go after the surviving brothers and kill them. We know that they both moved, and we're keeping a very close eye on them both.
We want you to go to the same school that Itachi is sending Sasuke to. Then we want you to get close to Sasuke and see if there is any possibility that you can get something on Orochimaru"
As a silence fell over them Naruto leaned back into his chair, running a hand through his spiky blonde hair.
"And all this I can't do as a guy because…?"
This question made the older man cringe slightly and rub the back of his head.
"Well-" he said nervously. "-to hide your identity from Orochimaru, of course!" Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"Now why would I need that? It's not like he knows that I'll be working with the police. He doesn't know who I am; he wouldn't see me as a threat"
"Now here's the funny part. He know that I'm taking care of you so he'd probably be suspicious if he saw you"
"…You told him about me?"
"Don't judge me! He used to be a friend of mine, before he started with the entire "psycho psycho kill kill" – thing! But yes; He knows about you and probably knows what you look like"
Naruto was silent for a long while, letting the news sink in.
"You do know that he knowing about me could be life threatening to me… He could use me to get to you" Jiraiya, still rubbing the back of his head, looked away.
"Yes, yes, I do realize that…"
"That is…very stupid of you" Naruto said and frowned slightly.
"Yes I know…"
A moment of silence dragged by.
"So… Will you do it?"
"I don't understand why I of all people have to get dragged in to this mess" he mumbled. Closing his eyes, knowing he'd regret what he just was about to replay, he forcefully pressed out a; "Fine, I'll do it"
Why he ever agreed to it, Naruto still didn't know.
He walked into his room again. His hand running through the blonde, lengthened hair. His fake boobs rested on the nightstand right next to him.
"Stupid pervert making me late, stupid bra disappearing all the time, stupid panties cutting into my ass" he muttered sulky as he bent down to look under the bed.
Just as his godfather had predicted, the orange bra laid under the bed. Naruto groaned and reach out his hand to grab it.
It was dusty and smelled like Cheetos.
'Great' Naruto thought and glared at it. 'Now I have to walk around smelling like god damn nachos! Someone up there must really enjoy seeing me suffer'
He stood up and put it on before filling the cups with the fake boobs.
He put on a pair of yellow, loose pants, just to cover up his hairy legs. A white long-sleeved shirt was thrown over his upper body to hide most part of his body and a scarf around his neck in order to hide away the Adams apple. He looked in the full body mirror, satisfied with the result he pulled out some make up from the drawer.
At the beginning, the make-up had been a real pain; he almost turned blind when he was putting on mascara and god forbid the eyeliner pens! But after looking around on the internet for some make-up tips it got a bit easier. Sure, he messed up many times before it looked good, but at least he was improving!
After almost 13 minutes in front of the mirror Naruto was happy with the results. He put on some perfume-orange smell-before he grabbed his bag and ran down stairs.
He threw on some random shoes, grabbed a jeans jacket before turning to the door.
"I'm leaving now!" he called over his shoulder.
"Bye, Bye Princess!" Jiraiya replied cheeringly and laughed as he heard the blonde groan.
Damn pervert was going to pay for that.
He had argued, he had fought, he had screamed and he had refused. Yet he now sat here, with a wig placed on his head, a skirt that barley covered up his thighs, and a make-up covered face that was twisted into an angry frown.
Yes, Uchiha Sasuke was beyond pissed.
"Stop looking like someone stole your chocolate Sasuke, you're going to scare the whole school to death"
Sasuke glared at the man next to him and gritted his teeth.
"Stole my chocolate? Oh no Itachi, this does not compare to my chocolate! Stealing my chocolate is just low. THIS, my dear brother" Sasuke made a wild gesture towards himself "Is a big step over the line!"
Itachi smirked slightly, but didn't take his eyes of the road in front of him as he drove closer to the school building.
"Just stop looking so fretful, remember this is for your best" Itachi said. Even though he felt a bit sorry for his little brother, a small sadistic part of him almost enjoyed seeing him suffer.
"The fuck it is! You just love to put me through hell!" Sasuke snarled, undoing his seatbelt. Itachi chuckled lightly.
"Well, yes that to. But it's still for your own good"
"How the hell is that?" Sasuke snapped. "How the hell is me cosplaying like fucking sailor moon good for me?"
Itachi snorted. "You're not cosplaying as a sailor moon character, Sasuke" he said amused. "This is just so Orochimaru won't find you; this will be over before you know it"
"So if this is to protect me from Orochimaru then how come you don't have to dress up like a girl?" Sasuke mumbled grumpily, crossing his arms over his bumpy chest.
"Because I already look like one" Itachi joked dryly. Sasuke wasn't amused. Sighing, Itachi said "He's never met me Sasuke. According to the police, you were the one he was original after, which is why it's extra important that you stay as hidden as possible" Sasuke still wasn't' satisfied.
"I still don't see how changing my name wasn't enough" he mumbled.
"Don't worry, Kuro Ame" Itachi purred in a teasing voice, making Sasuke twitch at the sound of his new name. "You make a really cute girl, no one will suspect a thing, and as soon as Orochimaru is behind bars everything will return to normal"
"Why couldn't you have chosen another name for me?" Sasuke snapped. "Kuro Ame? Seriously? What exactly are yoy trying to prove?" Itachi said nothing as he reached over Sasuke lap and opened the door for him.
"Get out now, and make sure to not let your guard down" Throwing one last glare at his older brother Sasuke got out of the car.
"Oh and by the way" Itachi said. "My new name from now on is Kuro Lumiko"
And with that the door shut close and the car drove away, leaving Ame-chan behind.
Breathing heavily Sasuke mentally tried to calm himself with soothing words.
With slow steps he walked up to the school building, desperately trying to pull his skirt over his thighs. He hadn't been very happy to dress up like this. It had been awfully painful; to say at least; the whole waxing his whole body thing and get his ears pierced had pretty much killed him.
People whispered, giggled and pointed as they passed him by. Why he wasn't sure, it's not like they could actually see that he was really a guy; Itachi's friends had done a surprisingly good job with disguising him.
Suffocating a sigh he walked through a door and into the school building. Fishing up a note from his bra (seeing since he didn't have any pockets) he slowly unfolded it and read the letters and numbers. What he needed to do first was to go to the principals' office and get his schedule and guidance to where he was going.
When he finally reached his destination he walked over to the wooden door and carefully knocked on it. When no one opened he frowned and banged a little harder. Still no answer. He sighed and took a seat just outside instead. Maybe he was too early.
Sasuke already hated this day. He wanted nothing more than to go home, wash of the goddamn make up, take his wig off and put on some clothes he actually felt comfortable in. Looking around, making sure he was completely alone; he discreetly sneaked a finger under the wig and scratched his sweaty head.
The sound of a door being slammed shut made Sasuke jump high in his seat and he quickly removed his hand from his head and let it settle down in his lap. Looking up he saw the back of a girl walking over to the principals' office. She lifted her hand to knock on the door, but Sasuke saved the girl the trouble by saying;
"She's not here yet"
He had made sure to practice a lot in front of the mirror and with Itachi's friends, so he was happy to hear that his voice sounded more like a girl than a man trying to sound like a girl, as he spoke. The girl seemed to be muttering some curses under her breath (in which Sasuke manage to catch up the words "Stupid old pervert" and "So much for trusting his friends" and some more X rated language)
The blonde girl turned around to take a seat next to Sasuke, but as she did so Sasuke mouth fell open. He was gaping, and not so discreetly either. But he really couldn't help it; the girl in front of him must have been the most absolutely terrible looking creature in the world.
The "girl" looked annoyed at him. "What?" she asked, her voice dark and extremely harsh and stern, nothing like a girls. Sasuke swallowed and tried to think of something to say (that didn't involve an insult). But as nothing seemed to pass his lips he closed his mouth and shook his head.
"Nothing" he mumbled. As the girl went to take a seat, Sasuke found himself unable to take his onyx eyes of her. If he was asked to describe her he'd probably said that she looked like a guy that tried to look a girl who tried to look like a guy… If that made any sense. A more accurate description would probably have been that she look like a straight guy dressed in drag. Like she tried really hard to look like a legitimate drag queen without seem like she was making fun of them in any way. But completely fail, obviously.
Okay, so here was the thing with this "girl"; First of all her hair looked like some cheap plastic lengthening, the tone was completely off with her natural hair colour and you could pretty much see the black clips underneath the real hair. Her clothes were loose, hiding her body and any possible curves. She looked like a clown in the face; bright blue eye shadow on her eyelids and bright red lipstick on her dry lips. Rouge going roughly all over the face and big mascara lumps hung on her eyelashes. The way she moved and talked was all but feminine and as she sat down her whole body hunched.
'This' Sasuke thought 'Cannot be a girl'
Suddenly the girl's eyes flicked over to him, frowning slightly she glared half-heartily at him.
"What?" she asked again, more frustrated this time. "Do I have something on my face?"
'Does she really want me to answer that?'
"No not really" he mumbled instead.
"Then please stop starring at me, I'm finding it rather uncomfortable" She said and at her pathetic attempt to sound girly Sasuke could no longer hold himself. He started laughing, hard. He clutched his stomach as he doubled over in the chair, feeling tears welling up in his eyes as he laughed more in ten seconds than he had in ten years. Carefully not to smear his mascara Sasuke wiped away the wetness from his eyes.
"I'm sorry" he gasped through the fit of laughter, not really caring any more whether he sounded like a girl or a guy. "It's just that…"
The blonde raised an eyebrow. "What?"
Unable to stop himself Sasuke, without a second thought, blurt out the most inappropriate thing to the stranger.
"You must be the ugliest girl I have ever seen!"
A/N: Kuro means Black and Ame should mean rain in Japanese. And if I'm not wrong Lumikko is weasel in Finnish... I took away one K so that way it looked more Japanese. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing! Leave a review if you feel it's worth it and tell me what you thought; criticisms are always welcome.
Thanks for reading! Hope you'll be looking forward to the next chapter!