Camelot
There was no time, no time to mourn for the loss of the love of life; no time to grieve for him, no time, what was time anyway? It hadn't been so kind to her, only 5 months earlier she had lost everyone she loved, and yet she had to be strong for her people, for Camelot that is what he would have wanted, that is what he would have been proud of, to see how much of her strength she could muster for them, for her people. Some people would expect weakness, a sorrowful queen who used to be a servant girl to break down like a sniveling coward, but she would prove them all wrong and do it to make Arthur proud, no doubt her people loved her with the love any court could show their sovereign and she needed to be strong for them. Merlin never came back, she knew he wouldn't I mean how could he? She barely could stay in Camelot without the memory of Arthur choking her, threatening the shortness of breath each and every single day. But she couldn't run, she had a duty to her people and most of all to the Pendragon legacy which her husband had left behind. Every single day was a test, a test of wills, a test of strength it was a battle. Arthur was the love of her life, she loved him with every fiber of her being and living and breathing without him felt like breathing without inhaling air, it was hard but she did it and the days went by like they always did.
What hurt the most was that she didn't get any closure, she deserved to say goodbye didn't she? Why had time being cruel to her, what had she done in her past life to deserve life's harshness, she couldn't understand what had happened but time went by like it always did and the days went by like they always did. It was a dark and stormy day, snuggled deep under her coverlet with the space beside her a memory of what used to be and what would never be, a knock on the door "My lady" Sir Leon called, "My lady, there's an urgent matter you need to attend to", just let me be for a moment Gwen thought, when will the reminder of this huge responsibility of being the only sovereign stop, she needed air, she needed to breathe. "My lady" the knock came again, "he's here", who's here? she thought, could it be her husband come back to her, it couldn't be she had heard those words, those words that had raised bile within her, "the king is dead", no it couldn't be him.
She rose quickly with hope stirring within her and then the words came through the door "Merlin is back", Merlin back she had thought, he had finally come back to her, it wasn't who she had wanted with all her heart but those were silly dreams, the dreams of a brokenhearted woman, a girl's hopeless dreams, something that would never happen, she had to grow up, had to be strong, her Arthur was gone and she had to accept it, but Merlin her first friend her closest friend had come back to her. She had hoped he would she needed support and Merlin was the closest thing to Arthur, to a part of him maybe he could tell her about his last moments, was he peaceful in his final slumber? Did he suffer? She needed answers, answers that only he could provide. Guinevere rose up with renewed hope and called back "Thank you Leon, I'll just be a moment".
A moment to gather herself, her thoughts Merlin was back, he had come back to Camelot to her she wondered how he would look what he would feel like, so many thoughts filled her mind while she prepared to meet him, she had a cream colored nightwear on and put a shawl over it to preserve her modesty. She wondered where she should receive him, their chambers no her chambers now, would it seem too personal, too intimate but it was Merlin he was personal to her the only remaining connection she had to her lost husband. Would the people approve of their queen meeting with a now known sorcerer within their late king's chambers? Damn what they thought, Merlin was her friend and she would receive him where ever she pleased, she thought about what Arthur would have said, his voice drifting into her thoughts "Do what is true to your heart Guinevere, I believe in you". That is what he would have said she believed that, little thoughts like that made her believe that although Arthur may physically not be with her, she would always have a piece of him guiding, believing and above all trusting her, the sides of her lips revealed an almost smile at this thought. It would get better; perhaps time could be a friend to her.