"I'm so sorry…"

He stood at the tombstone on what was unfortunately a beautiful, sunny day. Nothing should be beautiful anymore after what had happened. The girl lying six feet beneath the ground that he was paying homage to should never have been subjected to such suffering, He should have been able to help, to stop what was going on before it got to her. If she had never met him, none of it would have happened.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, unable to even think of what else to say. Even if he had been able to think of anything, it would have been blocked by the sobs gathering in the back of his throat. As he stared at her smiling face on the stone, his breath seemed to be taken from his body. That headstone had been the one thing he could do for her. It was stunning and always surrounded by flowers from her family and many friends, people he had been unable to face when she died. Incapable of keeping his emotions in check, he set the bouquet he had brought to her on the ground. He liked to think that she knew he had tried. He would have done anything to save her in the end, but they all knew it was no use. He hoped that she knew how much he loved her.

Six months earlier…

"You need to upgrade your music selection, honey," she said, flipping through cassettes in the passenger seat.

"Please bear in mind that is not my music selection. That would be my brother's. And so is the car, for that matter, so you may not want to mess around with his stuff."

As hard as he was trying to be serious, he couldn't help but grin at her.

"Yeah, okay," she said, stifling a laugh, "Your brother loves me. He doesn't care what I do."

Despite her mocking tone, she put one of the tapes in the player and began singing, completely out of tone, with the music.

"Free Bird?" Sam asked, almost laughing.

"It's a good song! And I know it, so two birds, one stone."

She said that so matter-of-factly, it made him grin even wider.

It seemed too soon when they pulled up to her house. He wanted to stay with her that night, but he was on a case, something he had to keep her in the dark about, much to his own disdain. It was for her own safety; that was the sad agreement he and his brother had come to. He didn't like to lie to her, but that was how things were, at least for the moment.

They both sat for a while in front of the old house, thinking the same thing as the music played on. This was the part of the night that both of them had hated since they had started dating. The longer they had been dating, the harder it was becoming to stay apart.

If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me?

"Why can't you spend the night?" she broke the silence, as she looked down at her boots, knowing the answer as it was always the same.

"Work," he answered, perhaps a bit too quickly. He hoped it would be a good enough answer, but knew better than that. It was obvious she wasn't pleased with him and he couldn't blame her. He didn't want to leave any more than she did.

"What is it that you do, exactly?"

"Like I've told you, we're private investigators. That's why we don't really have a steady home life."

"Or a background? Or pretty much nothing but this car?"

At least she was smiling when she said that. It told him that she still loved him as much as he loved her, regardless of his secrecy.

"I won't be around forever, you know," she teased, "you'd better not keep me waiting."

Leaning over, she kissed him and smiled. She didn't mean what she had said, but as the days and lonely nights increased, she wondered if her mind would change.

"I have to go. This is your last chance to come with me."

As much as he wanted to, he shook his head.

"Duty calls."

"Okay. Well, goodnight."

She was hiding her disappointment well behind her bright smile that she knew he loved.

"I'll call you before I go to sleep, okay?"

She nodded before opening the passenger side door. The doors were heavy on the car, making it even less fun to step into the cold December air. Snow was falling in soft flakes all around her, covering the ground faster than usual.

"I love you," she heard him call.

"I love you too," she said and closed the door.

The taillights vanished into the darkness as she fumbled through her pockets for her keys, desperate to get out of the cold and into her warm home. The area was very quiet when she opened the door of the old house, considering it was almost three in the morning and there weren't a lot of younger people living in the neighborhood. She was the only person she could think of that would be coming home from a bar that night. Everyone else was probably asleep.

Maybe she could get a cat or something, feeling very sick of coming home to no one. The house was rather large for one person, a two story complete with an attic and basement, but she liked it. It had two bedrooms, one of which she used as a giant walk in closet, just to say she had one. It was old, but no one would know it unless they could see under her colorful décor, especially during the holidays. A Christmas tree stood in the corner of her living room and red lights and tinsel adorned her walls above the couch and television. The people that rented out the house to her had been nice enough to allow her to carpet the place without paying some huge fine, which she thought was great because the hardwood floor was hideous in her opinion.

She took a lot of pride in her decorating skills, wanting to really show off the place when people came over. All the furniture matched and was specifically catalog ordered to match the tables as well. She had a fully stocked bar in the corner of the living room, one of her more popular additions. Glasses hung upside down above the bar, which matched the rest of the barware and serving dishes in open sight. She wasn't exactly made of money; it all came from the two bar jobs she worked, one where she had met Sam. Actually, she had met his brother there, who had gotten drunk and tried to pick her up. Not one to date people who were barely able to stand up when they tried to take her back to their place, she was good enough to try to call him a cab. It was then that he insisted she call his brother because he didn't want his car left in the parking lot overnight. He loved that car like family, from what she had seen.

Two of the lights weren't working properly. She flipped the switch that was supposed to turn on the two tall Ikea lamps that normally illuminated the main room, but they did nothing but flicker on and off.

"What the hell?"

There were light bulbs in the kitchen cabinet, but the kitchen light flickered just the same. Blindly, she squinted hard, trying to use the small red light of the Christmas lights to find the bulbs. There was a box of them sitting on a reachable shelf, thankfully, and she quickly opened and replaced one of the lights in the main room. It did no good; the lights were still acting up. She groaned, frustrated. That's when she heard what sounded like a light pounding of fists on her window.

A large cloud of black smoke hung in the air beside her window and she could have sworn it was pressing against the glass. As it neared, the flickering of the lights became more apparent. The fear she felt was strange, as she wondered why she was scared of smoke. Something about it was incredibly unsettling though. She reached for her phone, but before she could pull it out of her pocket, the smoke broke through the glass. She screamed, terrified and confused. Not knowing what else to do, she tore across the room and up the stairs to her bedroom.

The smoke was following her. She didn't need to look behind her to know that; she could sense it. As soon as she reached her room, she slammed the door shut and quickly locked it, really wondering if it would do any good. The smoke could just come in through the crack between the floor and the bottom of the door.

"Shit…" she whispered, shaking and not knowing what to do. She couldn't call 911; what would she say? Running out of options, she reached for her phone and dialed Sam's cell phone, silently praying he would answer. The phone rang and rang with no answer.

"Dammit!" she yelled, as his answering machine picked up. That's when she noticed the smoke sneaking its way into the room under the door. She looked around, not sure what she was even looking for. What could she defend herself against smoke with? The whole notion seemed ridiculous. There was nothing, but her eyes caught sight of the door in the ceiling leading up to the attic. Seeing it as a last resort, she pulled it open and climbed the tiny ladder into the crowded attic. The moment she reached the top of it, she struggled to get the door closed. The smoke was too fast for her though, pushing its way into the attic with her.

The room wasn't in any way big. She couldn't even stand up, let alone run away from it. As the smoke closed in on her, she gaped at it in sheer horror. Unable to do anything else, she backed up against the wall, continuing to hope that she would somehow be rescued. Things grew dark as the smoke engulfed her and she felt herself begin to choke as it went down her throat. In the middle of the attack on her weakened self, she could have sworn she heard the bedroom door beneath her break down, but wasn't sure what was real. As much as she wanted to call for help, to let someone know where she was, she could hardly move, let alone speak. She couldn't breathe anymore and felt her body slump to the floor, allowing the smoke to overtake her.

"Hi."

She felt his hand grasp hers and looked up. Sam was looking back at her, appearing sad, but relived at the same time.

Her eyes widened, unaware of what was happening or where she was. Practically involuntarily, she shot up to a sitting position to find that she was in a hospital. That explained the smell. The scent of cleaning fluids filled her nostrils and she crinkled her nose in disgust, not being a big fan of hospitals. It was light outside, light enough to be early morning, the window beside her bed told her that much. That made her wonder how long she had been asleep. Sam grabbed her shoulders and carefully lowered her down so she was lying on the bed again. He acted very delicately, as if she would break if he was too hard on her. It worried her and the look on his face wasn't making her feel much better

"Am I okay?" she asked, fearing it was a stupid question.

He nodded, taking hold of her hand once again.

"What happened? How did I get here?"

The last thing she remembered was the attic and the smoke. Nothing was making any sense.

"Your phone. I got a message from you. It wasn't very nice. We found you in your house and brought you here."

She remembered that as well. Part of her wondered exactly what the message entailed, besides her cursing.

"There was something in there with me. You have to believe me, I wasn't alone there," she insisted, positive he would doubt what she was saying, especially considering their surroundings. All she needed was people to tell her that she had been through some trauma and wasn't expected to remember exactly what happened. Instead, he surprised her, as he bit down on his lip, not wanting to say anything and looked away momentarily. She knew then that he was hiding something.

"You know what it was. That black smoke – you know what it was…"

The silence didn't cease and he couldn't maintain eye contact with her. She pulled her hand away from his in frustration.

"Tell me what is going on."

"I'll tell you, I promise. I'll tell you when you are in better shape. You need some sleep."

"I've been sleeping-"

"Listen to me. I promise you, you will know everything when you are okay to leave this hospital. Until then, I'm not telling you anything. It's for your own good."

He did his best to try to coax her back to sleep, but she was having none of it. Annoyed, she looked around.

"Where's Dean?"

"What?" he asked, somewhat confused with her question.

"Dean. Your brother. Your other half. Where is he?"

"Why?"

"He'll tell me what's going on."

"He's outside and he is not going to tell you anything. That's up to me."

His tone was serious, almost somber, something she wasn't used to.

"Sam, what the hell is happening?"

Looking at his feet, he refused to answer her, much to her dismay.

"Go to sleep. When you are better, I will tell you everything."

Knowing full well she wouldn't be able to get him to tell her anything else, she gave up and turned to face the wall. She could hear him breathing as he stood behind her, probably hoping she would turn back to him. It was there that he stood for the next few minutes until she finally heard the door swing open and shut again.

"How is she?"

As much as his brother tried to pretend that he wasn't listening in on their entire conversation, his ruse was transparent in Sam's eyes.

"She's pissed at me."

"You saved her life."

He said that like it made a difference.

"She doesn't know that. All she knows is that I'm keeping something from her."

"Yeah, women tend to frown on deceit," he said, pulling himself from the plastic waiting room chair. He tossed the medical magazine aside that he had been pretending to read and started to walk away.

"I'm not deceiving her, Dean."

"Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. It works for me. Come on, we have to catch ourselves a demon."

"I'm telling her what happened."

The clicking of the car keys in Dean's right hand came to a halt. He spun around to look at Sam, not believing for a moment that he was really going to tell her anything.

"No, you're not."

"Yeah, when she is out of the hospital, I'm letting her know what we do. It's the right thing to do. I can't keep lying to her. It's not fair to either of us."

Contemplating what was just said, Dean looked at his feet. Then, without warning, harshly grabbed hold of his brother's arm and dragged him out of the waiting room and down the hall before throwing him against the wall.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sam?!"

The words that were meant to come out in a shout were delivered in nearly a whisper, as he didn't want to get kicked out of a hospital. Surprised at his actions, Sam was at a loss for words. He hadn't imagined telling his girlfriend about his real life after she had seen an actual demon would be such an issue. Not waiting for an answer, he kept up his whispering rant.

"Don't you see what is happening here? I told you that you couldn't get this close to her. Look what happened! I know you love her, but aren't you sensing a bit of a pattern here?"

He was referring to Jess and Sam knew it. Jess. A prime example of why he and his brother were never allowed to get close to anyone. Everyone they loved was dead. To keep people safe, they had to keep a distance from them or else their work would catch up with them. He and Jess had learned it in the most tragic way.

"This isn't the same thing, Dean," he protested, knowing himself that it was a lie.

"Yes, it is and you know it. You think I don't want you to be happy? Find a girl and live a normal life? There's nothing I would like more than to see that happen, but guess what? It can't. And I'm not saying that to be an ass either, you know that. Unless we wipe all the demon scum off the planet, it's not happening."

Sam swallowed hard and looked away from Dean, not wanting to admit that he was right. The silence didn't seem to phase his bother, who took it as an unspoken agreement. Pulling the keys to the Impala out of his jacket pocket, he walked away, his mind then focusing on how to get rid of the demon that had nearly killed his brother's girlfriend.

"Hello?"

The same feeling of uneasiness she had felt hours earlier crept through her body. She had watched Sam walk past the room through the little window on her door while he probably thought she was sleeping. He had looked unhappy, just as he had when she had yelled at him. That had been almost an hour ago and now she laid in the hospital bed feeling that there was something else in that room with her.

After the events of the early morning, she knew to trust her instincts and frantically hit the call button next to her bed, hoping a nurse would arrive before anything else could. After a couple minutes of nothing, she hit it again, her mind full of panic. That's when she noticed the black smoke she had seen before creeping in through the crack in the ceiling tile.

"No, no…" she muttered, scared again, not knowing what to do.

The call button was doing nothing, which didn't surprise her. Nothing surprised her anymore. She knew that Sam wasn't outside anymore, so there was no one there to help her. Nearly hysterical, but trying her best to stay somewhat calm, she pulled at the IV that was pumping glucose into her body and keeping her in one place. She flinched at the sting of the needle pulling out of her, then stumbled from the bed to the floor. Whatever had happened to her before had left her very weak and she could barely feel her legs.

Looking up from the floor, she saw that the smoke had filled the room and the familiar choking feeling was back as it pushed its way down her throat. Feeling helpless, she crawled over to the door as the smoke pushed down further. Flailing her arms, she found nothing as the smoke disappeared into her body. Her muscles felt entirely atrophied when the smoke had vanished from the room and she wondered what had happened. That's when she felt her own body stand up against her will.

Ruby smiled, happy with her new host. It wasn't entirely implausible that she had gotten away from her the first time she tried to inhabit her. That was the bitch about trying to inhabit someone close to a hunter. Especially a good hunter, like her exceptionally tall boyfriend was. No worry, it was in the past. She cracked her back, trying to get a little more used to things.

What is this? What's happening?

Ruby scoffed at the mortified voice she could hear. This was the part she hated, the shock of the host. She would never get used to it.

"Hey, you, shut up."

That's my voice! What is going on?

The voice was more panicked then and she was sure it would have been crying, had she had the control of her own body.

"I said, 'shut up'. I'm not going to listen to this constant freak out of your's. Seeing it physically was enough."

That was you? That smoke?

"Bingo."

She couldn't wait to get out of the scratchy hospital gown and leave the hospital. There were more important things to do than sit around with a bunch of sick mortals. Glancing around, she found that her host's clothes were piled neatly on top of the sink in the small bathroom attached to the room. As she quickly dressed into skinny jeans and a brown v-neck sweater she found to be quite pretty, the voice rambled on.

What do you want? I didn't do anything!

"Relax, sweetie, this isn't about you. Ugh, I'm all pasty," she groaned, looking in the mirror. The blond hair of her host was a little matted, but the large curls still made her look exceptionally gorgeous. Using her hands, she scrunched them a little to make the hair appear a bit more acceptable.

Then let me go!

"No can do. You have something I want. Don't you have any makeup anywhere?" she asked, still staring at her pale face.

What are you talking about? I don't have anything!

"Wrong. I have to get to your boyfriend and he won't talk to just anyone. Oh, thank you," she exclaimed, finding a compact of pressed powder and lipstick in her purse. The makeup made her appear much more presentable, which she was happy with.

Sam? What do you want with him?

"Oh, please. Quit acting like you don't know anything. Wait, why am I still talking to you?"

Know what?

"Did I not tell you to shut up?"

Look, this is my body you inhabited, you bitch! I want you out, now. I'm not going to leave you alone until you get out.

Aggravated, Ruby decided it was that point in time that she would have to prove how in control she really was. It happened nearly every time she possessed someone, but she always hoped she wouldn't have to deal with it. Standing over the sink, she stared deeply into the mirror.

"See this? See your face? Tell me who is in control now."

With that, she rolled her eyes back, putting her fully blackened ones on display for her host to stare at without the option of looking away. There was a long stretch of silence before she decided she had enough and brought back her normal pretty eyes.

"Had enough?"

What are you?

"That's not important," she responded, gathering up her purse and pulling the puffy peach colored jacket around her body. It was awfully warm dressed like that in the hospital, but she knew that it was cold outside and the mortal body wouldn't handle the weather well without a it. Besides, she didn't want to attract any unwanted attention.

Let me go! Now!

"Look, you need to shut up! I can't take this much longer!" Ruby nearly shouted, becoming more angry by the minute.

Well, tough shit. You let me go or I'll keep talking. You can't drown me out.

"All right, fine. Keep in mind that you forced me to do this."

What, what are you doing?

Ruby said nothing as she reached into the purse, fiddling around to find what she was sure would be in there. There was no way that such a nice-looking girl wouldn't have what she was looking for in her purse. Finally, she found it at the bottom of the purse and closed two fingers on it. To show the girl she meant business, she walked back into the bathroom, turned on the bright light, and stared into the mirror. Without having to even look at it, she quickly twisted the bobby pin from the purse so it was on long piece of metal.

"See this?" she asked, holding it up in front of her face.

Why do you have that? What-

"Quit talking!"

The voice was hushed as curiosity took over. Unwavering, Ruby leaned toward the mirror and quickly shoved the bobby pin so far into her right ear that she was sure it touched the eardrum. There was screaming in her head then, a tortured horrible scream followed by pleas to stop. She knew how badly it was hurting the actual host, but it didn't bother her in the least. For another minute, she stood, twisting the pin as far as it would go into the eardrum and listening to the begging of the voice before finally pulling it out.

"Now, are you going to say another word?"

The host wasn't dead, just pained and scared. It would take a lot more than that to kill her.

"Good," she practically chirped, grabbing a towel and wiping up the blood that was running down the side of her face and off her chin. She held it against her ear for a few minutes, trying to impede the flow of blood, but it didn't want to stop.

"Great, look what you made me do," she grumbled, searching the room for something she could use to remedy the situation. Unable to find anything better, she grabbed a cotton ball out of a jar beside the sink and jammed it in her ear.

"Now I have tunnel hearing. My first day in a new body and I have frikkin' tunnel hearing!"

The voice was still remained dormant, which made her mood lift a bit, despite her afflicted hearing.

"All right," she began, looking in the mirror. It made her feel a bit less crazy talking to herself if she was looking at someone. "Understand that things that hurt you do not affect me and I could do a hell of a lot worse than damage your eardrum, got it? You be good to me and you'll get a happy little demon out of me."

Not another word was spoken, which Ruby took as a good thing and went to put her boots on and find Sam.