Goodbye My Lover- James Morrison

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.

''Come on Frank, it's just me n you now, no hangers on listening in''

The air was bitterly cold as unsaid words hung tightly in the air, neither moved nor spoke, eyeing each other up, the younger of the two keeping a safe distance, ensuring there was a heavy object in sight at all times, just in case.

''You broke my heart Carla''

''But that didn't give you the right to do what you did to me, you broke me Frank'' Carla wasn't sure why she was being so honest, why she was giving him another stick to beat her with.

''I'm an innocent man Carla, I have been vindicated.'' The words fell from Frank's mouth, but Carla noted the smug look across his face was missing and his voice seemed different somehow. Empty, hollow through and through.

''We could have been so good'' He whispered, the anger he had felt seemed to drain away as he looked at her fragile state. She looked terrified. Of him.

''You raped me Frank'' It wasn't a question, she wanted no answer.

''Shh, please, don't say that''

Carla was taken aback by his sudden change of attitude, he'd spent weeks knocking her down, fighting her, tearing her to pieces and now it was as though he were a different man.

''Don't do this Frank, don't try an guilt trip me. You got off, in't that enough''

''You never loved me did you?" His eyes were almost pleading at her for the answer he wanted but knew he would never get.

"I could have done, if you've given me the chance" A small sigh emitted Carla's lips. She couldn't believe she was here, having a civil conversation with the man that raped her. As if people needed more reason to believe his poison. She wanted to get up, walk away. But something was stopping her.

She found herself moving to sit on the desk, legs dangling, Frank still at a distance. Nothing he said would ever convince her she was safe near him.

"You suffocated me Frank. I'm not that kinda girl, I need me space, I need to breathe. You kept pushing n pushing me. I couldn't marry you, we'd have destroyed each other. Still you did a pretty good job of that eh?" Carla couldn't hide the bitter pain from her voice, it echoed from her like a siren. She never was a good liar.

''Can't you just admit you were in the wrong Carla? We both know it, you were sleeping with another man"

''I may not have been perfect to you Frank but I were always loyal''

''But you loved him?"

Carla didn't answer, she knew there was no point avoiding the question, he already knew. She loved Peter, always had.

''You loved him didn't you?"

"THAT DIDN'T MEAN I DESERVED THIS FRANK!" She couldn't control the tears that fell and lingered down her cheeks. She was sick and tired. Sick of being the victim and tired of not being able to change it.

Carla wiped her sleeve along her face, harshly wiping her tears with one swipe. She dared not look at him, for fear she'd see that look in his eye again, but she saw nothing, except perhaps a hint of regret and maybe a dash of guilt.

She picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder, signalling the end of the conversion. Carla headed to the door, without a single word. But she was stopped, pulled back by a hand on her arm. She felt fear rising in her chest, she felt sick, she could feel him breathing, but she couldn't physically move or pull away, she was stuck, rabbit in head lights.

''Carla?" His voice was not as she expected it to be, and neither was his grip, it was soft, not commanding, controlling.

She turned to face him now, looking him in the eye fully, tears still mingled across her cheeks.

"I'm sorry"

"What did you say?" Carla's breathe hitched in her throat, her heart pounded so loudly she thought she might burst.

''I said, I'm sorry"

With that he was gone, storming past her and leaving her alone once again, hiding his tears as he did. He may have been able to admit his crime, but he never wanted her to see him break, to see him fall apart. That he couldn't bare.