A/N Okay so this was in my mind and I had to do something to distract me from exams. One shot. Quincest. LINDSEY'S point of view.
2 weeks ago, I woke up to the sounds of moans and it was very obvious two people were having sex out in the living room. What the hell? I lean out the doorway and there they were. My girlfriend of 5 years, fucking her own twin sister. I felt my knees go weak and forced myself to go back to bed, thinking it would all go away in the morning and it would never, ever happen again. It did.
Now I lay in bed with my girlfriend, for once being the big spoon. "Tegan do you love me?" I say quietly. She turns over putting on a confused look. "Of course I do babe, why would you even ask me that."
I sigh, "Tegan are you in love with me?"
"Bab-" "Please don't lie to me," I interrupt her. She looks at me and nothing comes out of her mouth.
"Tee when was the last time you told me you loved me?" I ask her softly.
"Like…uh…" she doesn't give me an answer and a small part of me is glad that she's at least not trying to make up some lie.
"Almost 3 weeks," I breathe out, as I look away, unable to hold our gaze.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, I've just been, um, I've just been busy I guess. But I do love you," She tries to make eye contact with me again.
Frustrated that she keeps denying it, I blurt out, "Tegan I know you're fucking Sara."
Her jaw drops down and everything is quiet. I can't even hear her breathe, and she probably isn't right now.
I reach out to her but the moment my fingers hit her skin, she's scrambling out of bed and towards the bathroom. I hear her hurl and I run to her side. I hold back her hair while she upchucks all her stomach's contents. When she's done I help her clean up, fetching a bottle of water for her. When I walk back into the bathroom, I see the most heartbreaking thing. I see her lying on the ground, curled up into a ball crying her eyes out. I know I should be the heartbroken one, but I understand her. I understand that she's struggling with her feelings. I've watcher her everyday for the past 2 weeks put on a fake smile and pretend to love me from the bottom of her heart, just so that I can be happy. But I know that each day was a battle between me and Sara.
"Tegan please stand up and come with me," I tell her trying to get her to bed so that I could talk to her properly. She doesn't move so I take her hand and attempt to pull her up, and surprisingly, she follows. I lead us to the bed and lay down next to her. When I look at her I'm met with a troubled face full of emptiness. Even with the tears and puffy eyes, I still see how beautiful she is. My thoughts go back to the time where we were the happiest couple alive. We were the best duo out there. People would be jealous of our love and connection. I remember how she would take me on romantic dates, do anything to please me and always put me first. I smile when I reminisce about the time where she took me for a manicure and pedicure on Valentines Day just because she knew I loved them. I reel myself back into reality and my heart completely shatters. I know she'll never be mine. She may love me, but no matter what I do or how hard I try, I'll never have all of her heart.
"Tegan, please look at me. Let me just say this once," I whisper. After a moment she finally looks at me with guilty eyes. She goes to say something, hopefully to apologize, but I stop her knowing that anything she says will cause me to crumble. "Wait Tegan, before you say anything you need to know something. I know you've been sleeping with Sara for 2 weeks now. I never said anything even though it completely tore me apart. I thought that maybe I could win you back. Sure, I was angry, hell Tegan I was furious, and slightly disgusted. But I saw the way you look at her, you never look at me that way. You look at her like she's the only thing in the world that matters. And in that moment I knew that she'll always win. All of a sudden everything made sense. Why you guys fought so much, but never gave me the full details of what the fight was about. Why you broke down when she hit you. And why you say that you need the other one in order to live. I realized it's because you're soul mates." At this point endless tears were streaming down her face and it was taking everything in me not to join in. I sighed, "We're done Tegan. Since I can't have you, I won't bother trying anymore." I initially wanted to sleep in our bed one last time in the hopes of either of us bringing some form of comfort for the other. But now it doesn't seem like the best idea. "I'm going to sleep in the guess room tonight ok Tegan. I'll be gone by the end of the week." I don't wait for her to say anything and slip out of bed. I drag myself to the other room and the moment I hit the bed, the waterworks start. I cry like I've never cried before.
The next day, I wake up at noon and am not surprised to find that she's out of the house. The entire day goes by with a blur. I shower, eat and start packing my bags. I don't know what time Tegan comes back, but when she does, she mutters a little 'Hi' before going to our, I mean her, room and locking the door. Even with the TV on I can hear her sobs. I don't know how but my heart breaks even more. I crawl back to the guest room and again cry myself to sleep.
When I wake the next morning, I can't even bring myself to get out of bed. As much as I'd love to stay here, holding on to what hope I have left with Tegan, I know that in the end, I have no chance and that I have to go. My bags are all packed so all I have to do is shower, then leave. I don't think I can stomach anything right now so I skip breakfast. Once I'm all cleaned up, I walk out to the living room to find Tegan, to say goodbye. I see her in the kitchen wiping the table.
"Hey Tee, um, I'm gonna go now so…." She looks back at me slightly startled and drops the cloth in her hand. "Wait Linds, I just…I-I don't know what to say," she looks down, completely defeated.
"It's ok Tegan, I understand. I'll get over it, someday." I tell her honestly. I'm on the verge of breaking down so I walk towards to door, where my bags are.
Before I can reach down to pick my stuff up, I'm whipped around and her lips press against mine. She holds me close and runs her tongue along my upper lip. As an instinct, I open my mouth and my tongue meets familiar territory. I'm so lost in the moment and I don't know what's right or what's wrong. Right now all I care about is Tegan. My hands move up to her neck and I pull her closer. We share the most passionate kiss I've had in a long time. "Please don't go LB," she whispers as she pulls away just a little bit to take a breath. I'm pulled from dreamland and realize that I have a choice to make. I decide to do what's best for me, for both of us. "No Tegan, I have to go. I can't stay here and be second choice. I can't be your toy. I'm sorry Tegan," I know that she should be the one to say sorry. I know that I've done nothing wrong. But I am sorry. I'm sorry that she has to go through all of this. The vast majority of the world is not accepting of the kind of relationship she and Sara has. I know I have every right to be angry at her, and I was. But I love her too much. And that's why I'm walking away, knowing that for her to be happy, she has to be with Sara. I want her to be happy, and the only thing in her way from achieving such joy, is me. I break away from her grasp, but am instantly pulled into a tight hug.
I'm so sorry LB, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I still love you, I just can't be fully yours, and I hope that one day you'll forgive me for that," she says softly into my ear and I feel her tears on my neck.
I just sigh. "I already have Tegan, and I'll always love you, just… don't let me regret this." I fight my own tears and lean back a little, "Go and get her," I kiss her forehead and feel her nod against my shoulder. Giving her a final squeeze I tell her, "Goodbye Tegan" and with that I walk out the door.