Aislinn Cousland ran through the burning halls of Highever, flames licked her heels as she searched for her family.
"Mama! Papa! Where are you?!" Creaking and groaning alerted her to the ceiling beam that crashed down from above; diving out of the way she heard screams down the hallways that twisted her in circles. She charged down the hallway once again, ignoring the burns the heat inflicted on her skin. This time she met an oak door and charged through only to stop short at the sight before her. Her family lay butchered on the floor, and standing over them covered in their blood stood their killer.
Rendon Howe, her father's best friend, the man who was like an uncle to her, turned to greet Aislinn with a sadistic smile "You failed Aislinn, now it's your turn and the Howes will rule Highever once again" Howe crowed with glee. Fueled by rage and grief Aislinn charged Howe bare handed "You Bastard! You'll pay!" Her fist connected with his face once before she was overpowered by him, her arm wrenched painfully behind her back, "As much fun as it would be to end you myself that right has been claimed by another, ta ta". He threw her back through the doorway, landing face down arms and legs askew but instead of the halls of Highever, she lifted her head from where she had fallen to find the plains of Ostegar, the Tower of Ishal in the distance and on the bridge between herself and the Tower stood her greatest fear.
The Archdemon, a creature that had once been the terrible beauty and deadly grace of a dragon had been twisted by the taint to this creature. It leveled its soulless eye at her and she quivered in fear, then it threw its head back and loosed a massive angry roar that had her covering her ears in pain, and darkspawn poured into the camp, she closed her eyes and braced herself for the pain of their blades.
Instead sounds of fighting rang out and she opened her eyes to see her companions beleaguered by overwhelming darkspawn. She watched helpless as Wynne, Zevran and Sten were cut down and the darkspawn surrounded the remaining fighters. Alistair, Morrigan, Leliana and her mabari Shea remained against the darkspawn horde, she tried to run to them but the darkspawn, though they ignored her existence, were crowded thick around her their focus on the small group and she could barely push through them.
Shea was the first to die, a Hurlock Alpha driving its greatsword into his chest, as the hound cried out in pain. Alistair bashed his shield in to the Alpha before taking its head off with a single blow from his sword, but he failed to notice the genlock rogue that appeared behind him thrusting duel daggers into his back, felling the Templar Warden. The rogue turned its attention to the Witch of the Wilds, facing off against a genlock emissary dispatching it easily, yet the rogue killed Morrigan in the same manner Aislinn's Warden Brother fell before an arrow sprouted from its head. The Orlesian Bard fired arrow after arrow into the advancing horde until her supply was exhausted and she turned to her daggers, fending off a number, before a Hurlock bested her driving its sword through her chest. Siobhan lowered her shoulder to plow through the horde but instead fell to the ground the darkspawn having vanished as though they had never been, leaving only the broken bodies of their victims.
Aislinn, on her knees, lowered her head to her hands as she tried to suppress the tears of grief that came to her eyes. "You failed us," a quiet voice said startling the grieving Warden, who looked up to find her bloodied companions before her.
Aislinn shot to her feet as Leliana spoke again, "You failed us Aislinn. You let us die. How could you?" the bard asked her voice filled with sadness, her blue eyes filled with despair, "You promised to protect us, to stand by our side in battle. Where were you when we needed you? How could you betray us like this?"
"I tried to reach you but I couldn't, please believe me, I didn't abandon you" she begged of them, yet their expressions remained the same. Wynne, Alistair, Leliana and Zevran all bore disappointment on their faces, while Morrigan's was a look of derision and anger. Sten's face remained as stoic in death as it had been in life.
"Please," she begged again "I didn't…" "Abandon them to their fate as you did us?" a voice said from behind. Aislinn whirled around to find her facing her father and the rest of her family, covered in their blood from Howe's fatal attack on Highever.
"Where were you when we needed you Pup? You left us to Howe's mercy. Our deaths are your fault." Bryce Cousland said in despair.
"No" Aislinn begged tears sliding down her cheeks.
"You have disgraced yourself" her mother said sadly,
"You have disgraced the Cousland name" her brother Fergus declared angrily,
"Betrayer" Leliana accused,
"Murderer" her nephew Oren cried,
"Coward" Zevran stated.
"No" she cried as a hand descended on her shoulder, with an iron grip bringing her face to face with Alistair, his fingers wrapping around her throat as he said "We will have vengeance". His grip tightened and she struggled to escape, she heard her name among the words her accusers threw at her, slowly becoming louder until,
"Aislinn!" the loud voice startled the Warden from her nightmare. She clawed against her blanket for a minute thinking it the iron grip of death from her dream, and became frantic to be rid of it.
"Aislinn" the voice cried worriedly again, this time accompanied by helping hands removing the blanket, before coming to rest on her shoulder as the bard knelt beside the shaken Warden. "Are you alright?" Leliana asked concern etched on her face.
"Fine, I'm fine," Aislinn assured flopping back on her bedroll and putting her hands on her head before running them through her hair as if to wipe away the dark dreams.
"Aislinn, you were screaming" Leliana said unconvinced as the Warden sat back up rubbing her eyes and standing.
"Yeah well, now I'm not, besides its time for my watch anyways, so no big deal" Aislinn said as she buckled her sword on "you however should get some rest, we don't both need to be up," the warrior said as she extended a hand to help the redhead to her feet, before going to take up the post that Leliana left. She walked across the camp site taking in her companions resting until her gaze came to rest on Alistair, his bedroll near the fire, as he slept, thinking that it was the first time she actually saw him sleep peacefully since leaving Redcliffe. There was still tension between them from their fight.
"You can't actually be considering using blood magic!" Alistair said after Jowan finish explaining,
"I'm trying to see what our options are Alistair, berating me isn't helping the situation or making it easier to decide!" Aislinn said squaring up against the former Templar "right now I have to decide whether a mother dies or her child and live with the consequences of that choice!"
Aislinn shook her head at the memory, Leliana had solved the dilemma by suggesting the Circle, and both Conner and Isolde survived and the demon controlling Conner was destroyed. They set out to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes immediately after settling things at Redcliffe with Wynne in tow.
Aislinn looked over her sleeping companions and envied their peaceful rest. The nightmares caused by the taint and the Blight were terrible enough on their own, and now after being ensnared by the Sloth Demon whilst freeing the Circle, her dreams had become a special hell, and she started to dread the night. They had pushed themselves almost the breaking point to reach Redcliffe after freeing the Circle and securing their help with Connor, and had set off towards Denerim to find Brother Genitivi, shortly after restoring a semblance of order to the Castle and its village.
Honestly Aislinn was exhausted, physically from the nightmares disrupting her dreams, mentally from the fast pace in which her life was changing these days, and emotionally, as she never got to grieve after Highever fell, after she lost everyone she'd ever loved. She had just rushed to Ostegar and the fateful battle and then the responsibility of leading a rag tag bunch of misfits to stop the Blight had been thrust upon her. Lives that depended on her to lead them and protect them. People that were slowly beginning to feel like friends, friends that she could lose in one fell swoop with a single misstep. She honestly didn't know if she could handle losing anyone else.
"Aislinn," a soft voice startled the Warden from her reverie "Leliana? I thought you went to bed."
Leliana studied her companion, she had started to notice the frequency in which Aislinn woke from nightmares and was concerned for the Warden. She didn't know much of the girl's life before Ostegar but knew that she hadn't been a Warden long before the ill-fated battle.
"I just wanted to check on you, you're always taking care of everyone else and I wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself my friend," the bard said honestly a concerned smile touching her lips.
"I'm fine Leliana," Aislinn looking away unable to face the concerned blue eyes before her, remembering them filled instead with sadness and disappointment as the words from her dream whispered through her mind, 'You failed us. How could you? Betrayer.' "Aislinn," the melodic voice reaches out to chase away the whispers and a hand tilts her face to meet blue eyes once more. "Aislinn, what burdens you so?"
"Nothing I'm fine, I wouldn't want to worry you anyway,"
"Aislinn please you can talk to me, I want to help,"
"Leliana, please just leave it be, please" Aislinn's voice wavered. She wanted to break, was on the verge of breaking, of just telling everything to the bard so that her unfathomable grief and painful loneliness wasn't such a heavy burden, but she would never force her problems on someone she had to protect.
Leliana searched her face, as if trying to gauge how far she could push before the Warden would truly break. "Alright Aislinn, but I am always here if you ever want to talk." Leliana placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder as she nodded her acceptance before leaving in search of her bedroll, leaving the Warden to her demons.