Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, nor do I own The Lord of the Rings. However, I have borrowed the characters to create this story and hope that I don't offend too many people in the process.
AU for BOTH types…mostly for DBZ, but some variation for LoTR…don't hate me. There is at least one yaoi pairing in the works and that's Goku/Vegeta. That's MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN---- don't like it, don't read it. It isn't for a while yet anyway, so don't hold your breath.
A/N: Okay, so I had this idea for a while, and it started out good, but now my mind is stuck but I'm working diligently. Some of my first ideas have changed, I'm iffy about some romantic pairings I had initially wanted to make (and boy would they piss some people off…) but I digress.
There is some OOC-iness, but I tried my damndest to keep them as true as I could. The saiyajin and Piccolo DO NOT have any use of ki on Middle Earth, they only have their martial arts expertise, extreme speed and strength. Please try to remember that when events happen.
Please don't rate me too harshly, it simply started out from my obsession with both groups and I wanted to join them together for a little adventure. You'll see where it goes. If I spell names wrong, mix people up, etc. please do let me know, but this is AU for both even though it follows the LoTR timeline mostly. If anyone wants to leave little notes, something they might want to see happen, etc let me know in a review and I'll try to work it in somewhere. Just remember I have veto rights.
Anyway, on with the story…
Of Saiyajin, Namek and Elves
Excited chittering echoes in the empty halls from a lab, far at then end of a hallway deep in the hollows of Capsule Corporation. A sign posted on the cold black surface of a heavy door reads, "Genius At Work".
Beyond the door stood said genius, her blue hair bouncing around her shoulders as she worked frantically with a screwdriver and vice grips clasped in either hand. Three other figures stood in the room with her. The largest leaning against a gutted refrigerator, a heavy white cape curled around one leg and a look of severe irritation etched across his emerald face. Another with wildly splayed hair bobbed behind our genius with large eyes and a wide smile, now and then pointing to some inner workings of the gadget the blue-haired beauty was working on. The third stood much like the first, arms crossed over his chest and leaning into a wall. His hard ebony eyes watched the man bob around the machine before snorting and flicking his eyes to a clock across the room. It would appear to the educated observer that he found the whole ordeal a waste of his valuable time.
Finally, one of our stoic, statuesque men shifts on his feet and a small growl of annoyance catches the attention of everyone in the room. "Kakkarot, stop bouncing around! You're making me dizzy." The voice is deep and gruff and has come from the smaller man holding up one of the lab walls.
Kakkarot stood still with a large grin while he scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, 'Geta. I'm just excited." Vegeta snuffed and looked at the clock again. "Hey Bulma, what's that do?" Kakkarot pointed into the complex mesh of wires and computer chips.
Vegeta frowned. "And stop asking stupid questions so that the Onna can finish and we can all leave."
Our genius turned with a scowl, her azure eyes flashing. "Shut up, Vegeta!" She turned her blue head to Kakkarot. "That is a stabilizer, Goku. It's supposed to keep the machine from bursting apart when it skips across time."
Vegeta's eyes widened, "Keep it from bursting apart? Kami, woman! Are you trying to kill us?"
"Now you look here buster, you should be thankful I'm putting it in there. I could leave it out and let you take the test run if you're so damned cocky!"
"Cocky! I'll show you…" Vegeta glared, a small bulb of ki glowing in his fist.
"Enough all of you." A deep gravely voice rumbled. The tall green man turned. His angular face tilted down at them with eye ridges drawn together. He looked to Bulma who had frozen in place, one hand raised in a fist with a screwdriver clutched in it was aimed for Vegeta. "Bulma, how much longer is this going to take?"
Lowering her arm, Bulma gazed down into the networking of electronics and furrowed her brow in thought. "Maybe twenty minutes…half an hour tops."
Vegeta snorted. "Twenty minutes… you've wasted enough of my time already."
"Just stop, Vegeta." An emerald scowl deepened.
"And what are you going to do about it, Namek?" Vegeta cocked an eyebrow and smirked.
"Look at it this way monkey," the stress on his favorite torment not going unnoticed as Vegeta seethed, "the less you bicker the faster Bulma can finish whatever this is supposed to be and we can all get back to our routines."
Vegeta frowned and turned his back to all of them. Goku stood beside Piccolo and tried his best not to fidget. Piccolo receded back into his mind and toned out the noise of the lab. He didn't know why exactly Bulma had Goku summon him along with the two saiyajins. Apparently Bulma believed she had figured out the whole time machine thing and thought that they would want to visit Mirai Trunks' time. Piccolo, even though intrigued at the idea of seeing Satan City and his beloved waterfall in a different form of ruins, believed it inevitably worth while even if it meant that he enjoyed and appreciated what he had when he returned to this time – but he didn't know why Bulma automatically queued him as a possible candidate to go first thing.
What annoyed him the most was that Bulma had called them all well over an hour ago, and she still wasn't finished with the machine. What ever happened to the times when a great unveiling happened after the genius was done? The object complete? Piccolo believed he knew the answer to his questions. When they had entered the small room, Bulma had heaved a great sigh of relief and he watched as tension drained from her face. He didn't think Goku or Vegeta had noticed, Vegeta too busy berating Goku and Goku too busy taking it with a Son smile. She had been afraid something would happen and she would be jumped somewhere all alone without someone to help keep her safe. Which made sense to the Kami side of Piccolo's mind, the Nail and Diahmoa side just grunted and thought the sound of a decent fight would be perfectly fine.
Goku bumped into him and Piccolo's eyes opened slowly, the normally placid features deepened into a small frown. Goku giggled and scratched the back of his head in apology. Piccolo sighed and looked to the clock. It had been nearly fifteen minutes, which was close to a new record for Goku to remain still, and Bulma was smiling as she wiped her hands on the back of her pants.
"I think that does it guys!" She beamed at them and closed the lid of the piece of gadgetry. Goku picked it up for her and set it gently inside a gaping hole in the side of a bullet shaped machine. Bulma settled to her knees and connected wires while the men gathered in a small semi-circle around the pod. Sliding the door silently into place, Bulma stood up and pushed a lock of hair from her face, a small streak of grease smeared across her forehead in the process.
"Well guys what do you think?" The three of them looked the thing over, it was large enough to seat one person and looked quite a bit like the one that Mirai Trunks had used to come to their time except for one difference…the interior was 'sea-foam' green and the exterior shell an abrasive shade of neon pink. Piccolo felt himself gag and his eyes felt like they would fall out of his head. Vegeta had already turned partially away from it so that he didn't have to look directly at it, and Goku was too busy plopping himself on the inside and gawking at switches to notice.
"It's…fine." Piccolo talked to the wall behind Bulma's head but she didn't seem to notice.
"It's an abomination! It should be destroyed and put out of its misery!" Vegeta cupped a hand around his eye to hide the hideous thing from his sight.
Bulma huffed and crossed her arms over her bosom. "Then you don't have to travel in it!" She stuck out her tongue and Vegeta grinned.
"Good, then I'll be leaving." He turned to the door but Bulma leapt in front of him.
"Where do you think you're going?!"
"You said I didn't have to use the blasted thing so I'll just go back to my training." Vegeta pushed her aside and opened the door.
"Hey 'Geta you should look at all the neat buttons and things in here." Goku's head popped out of the door of the time machine and he frowned. "Where are you going?"
Vegeta paused in his step and hesitated before shutting the door and stalking to the pink bubble to peer inside. Goku smiled happily at the back of Vegeta's head before pointing out various knobs that worked random things to pilot it.
Piccolo shook his head. "So when are you going to test it?" Bulma nearly jumped out of her skin as he spoke. He had a way of being so unobtrusive that she had forgotten he was there.
"Right now I guess." She put a well-manicured finger to her lips. Vegeta quickly retreated from the machine and Goku stepped out after him with a quizzical look on his face.
"So who's going to take it first?" Goku piped up, stepping beside his longtime friend. Bulma shrugged. "Can I?" She looked up at him, and laughed. He was looking down at her with puppy eyes and pushing out his bottom lip into a cute little pout.
"Fine. I'll just show you what to do first okay?" She walked to the glass and motioned Goku to sit down.
"Wait!" Vegeta called out. They all turned. "Kakkarot can't go!"
Piccolo smirked down at him. "Why not?"
"Because…what if he can't get back?"
"Why do you care if he comes back or not, Vegeta? I thought you hated him." Piccolo watched in amusement as Vegeta's eye twitched.
"I do…but if he doesn't return how am I supposed to beat the tar out of him?" Piccolo gave him a knowing look and nodded his head. Vegeta glared up at him and mentally restrained himself from wiping that smile from the Namek's face.
"It's okay Vegeta, I'll be careful." Goku smiled, one different from his normal lopsided grin, and turned so that Bulma could show him which controls to use.
After several minutes of down packing the information, Goku nodded his head and put on his game face. As he pulled the door shut the machine slowly came to life with a low buzz. Goku grinned for a moment and fiddled with switches along the inside. Bulma bit her lip and crossed her fingers.
A sizzling blue light snapped and crackled around the outside of the shell and the others squinted their eyes against the glare. The room rocked under their feet, machinery tumbling off of shelves and crashing to the floor. Bulma stumbled and tripped over a skidding piece of engine block and caught herself in Piccolo's cape. Piccolo grunted and widened his stance to take up the extra weight and set her on her feet with one hand.
Vegeta covered his eyes with one hand and fisted the other, "Kakkarot shut that damned thing off!"
His voice was swallowed in the noise as the air itself seemed to be ripping apart around them. Piccolo winced as his ears began to ring and raised his ki level to keep the flying debris in the room from harming him. He pulled Bulma into the protective bubble and grunted as she clutched as his gi and buried her face in the loose fabric. The floor suddenly tilted under their feet and Piccolo felt vertigo grip his head and he struggled to keep himself upright. He looked down and his jaw dropped, the floor was gone with nothing but a void of blackness stretching beneath them. Bulma let out a shriek as her hands slipped and she tumbled backward. Quick as lightening, Piccolo shot out and arm and grasped her by the wrist. Unfortunately for Bulma, she had chosen to wear a thick bracelet and as the vertigo washed over her again she could feel the plastic slipping over her wrist.
Eyes wide in terror, Bulma squeaked as the cuff released her and she felt herself falling. Piccolo snatched out and clutched at the empty air, Bulma was plunging into the void.
Then just as it all happened, it all stopped. Bulma hit grass-covered ground with a soft thump. Piccolo froze in place and reached out for ki signatures and found those of Vegeta and Goku, but none of the other Z senshi. A cool breeze blew across his sweaty skin and an odd draft wrapped around his legs. Piccolo looked down to see where the hole in his gi was but instead stumbled back and clutched at the material wrapped around him.
It wasn't his gi, hell it probably wasn't something he'd wear in a nightmare. A long violet tunic was draped across him, the loose ends tapping against his thighs, cinched at the waist with a pale blue belt. Heavy brown boots weighed funny on his feet and stiff armor shards were strapped to his forearms. He looked up in awe and saw that a forest of tall deciduous trees surrounded him. The breeze blew again and the leaves rattled softly as though laughing at him. Bulma was several feet away and shook her head as she sat up. She ran a shaky hand through her hair and shrieked.
Piccolo winced and glared at her, not knowing what was wrong with her but quite displeased to have a headache as well as inadequate clothing. Goku ran out of a small copse of trees and looked wildly about him until he saw Bulma lying unharmed on the ground and let out a breath of relief. The crunch of twigs and an annoyed grumble came from Piccolo's right and he watched as Vegeta exited between two birches and stood in the clearing with his arms folded tight over his chest.
Piccolo noticed that Goku and Vegeta both seemed to be wearing the horrid clothing, though neither of them had noticed or they didn't care. Bulma was standing on her feet with the aid of Goku—draped in a dusty brown tunic—and was gazing down at herself with mild amusement and surprise. She was now wrapped tightly in a wine colored dress that flowed off of her hips and a small black braided belt hung across her waist.
Vegeta finally broke the silence with a harsh bark of laughter. Piccolo turned to him in shock and saw Vegeta was smirking up at him. "Nice outfit, Namek. Though that dress does give you that leggy look."
Piccolo crossed his thick arms and frowned deeply down at him. "At least I'm observant." Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "Look at yourself, Vegeta…you seem to be wearing a rather impressive 'dress' yourself."
Vegeta looked down and gaped in shock, grabbing fistfuls of the clothing and tugging on it to make sure they really were on his body. Vegeta's outfit was similar to what Piccolo was wearing save for color. A fitted navy blue tunic tied with a wide white belt and chunky black boots that rose mid-calf.
Vegeta looked up at them with a look of disgust that rivaled the time Goku had shown him a picture of a six-foot worm from Australia in one of Gohan's schoolbooks. "Where in all Hell's are we?"
Goku looked amongst them and shrugged. His face had taken on the same look seen better than a dozen times at the beginning of Earth saving battles. Eyes narrowed, Goku looked around at the area and frowned. "I can't sense the boys…we must have all jumped to somewhere else."
"How observant of you Kakkarot, or have you forgotten that you traveled here in a TIME MACHINE!" Vegeta puffed up.
"I know Vegeta." Goku hadn't even looked at him as he spoke and Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "But we aren't on Earth…"
Piccolo breathed deeply and let it out slowly. The air was sweet and strikingly clean. The only sounds he could hear were the movement of their clothing and animals a few yards away walking in the forests. Piccolo stepped closer to them and cocked his head to one side. Something was coming… it was a noise he should know but his mind didn't register it.
"Someone's coming…" Piccolo spoke low and closed his eyes to concentrate.
Vegeta snorted. "What are you blathering on about Namek?"
A neigh of a horse echoed amongst the trees and Piccolo picked his head up. Of course. The stampeding of hooves beat the ground, five…no six of them. "Quickly, get into the trees!"
Bulma's eyes widened in fear. "What's going on?"
Piccolo growled and pointed to the tree line. "Someone is coming, and until we know if they are friendly and how strong they are we need to remain hidden." Bulma was nodding her head and gathering her skirts all the while running into the trees. Goku walked quickly into them and motioned for Vegeta to follow. Grunting, Vegeta leapt into a nearby tree and perched among the mid-branches to keep hidden. Piccolo walked to the side of the path but did not hide in the brush.
Soon following the saiyajins disappearance, the first horse galloped into view not ten yards away. With a holler, the lead rider motioned the men behind him and heaved a sword from its hilt at his side. Piccolo watched the man with a 'how did I know' look worming onto his face. Five riders came to halt with brays from their horses and dust clouds. Piccolo didn't move, only looked up at them in annoyance.
"Who are you? What are you doing on these lands?" The lead rider demanded, sword pointed at Piccolo's head.
"My name is Piccolo and I'm a stranger here." Piccolo gauged the man's ki and stifled a smile at how low it was.
"Strange you are…Oris, bind this creatures hands." A rider in the back leapt down from his horse with a thick rope in his hands. He stood just above Piccolo's waist and he was looking nervously up at the Namek.
"Hold out your hands." The rider still seated on his horse jabbed the sword forward for emphasis. Piccolo curled his lip and flashed a sharp, elongated k-nine down at the man with the rope. He fidgeted as though preparing to flee with a whiney from the back of the group rang and men moved out of the way as a man clothed in black hide came forward.
"What is going on here?" The new man asked, his shaggy black hair flipped across his shoulders as he looked between the men and a creature they had at knifepoint.
"I believe it's a new form of Orc. Just look at him! There is no one in Rivendell with his height or build. Besides he admits he is a stranger to these lands."
Piccolo watched silently still snarling at the small man in front of him as he squirmed. The man in black was apparently the one in charge here.
"Being a stranger in these lands makes me worthy of being bound?" Piccolo glared up at the new rider.
The man looked a little startled to hear him speak at first, but quickly covered his surprise with a well-maintained mask of indifference. If Piccolo hadn't known better, he would have thought this man a weathered warrior. "Of course not." He turned to the man beside him. "Leave him be, he will come with us to Rivendell. My father will see to his needs." The man nodded and gave Piccolo a wavering look of distrust before kicking his heels into his horse's flanks and moving swiftly away.
"I apologize for my men. All things that seem threatening in these parts are not taken lightly." The man smiled slightly.
As the horses started past, Bulma ran from the trees and shrieked as she was nearly trampled. The man closest was so startled he drew his sword and Bulma fell to the earth and covered her mouth with her hand. Vegeta leapt down from his tree as the man in black dropped from his horse, he stood in front of Bulma and took a fighting stance. He could hear Goku picking his ways through the trees and help Bulma to her feet.
Oris tripped over his own feet as Piccolo heaved him out of his way and ran to Vegeta's side.
"Enough." Piccolo looked at Goku, the young saiyajin's face was not pleased. "We are with Piccolo. We don't know where we are or how to get home." The man in black frowned.
"What is Piccolo?"
The namek's face faulted. "My name is Piccolo. These are my…friends, Goku, Vegeta and Bulma." Bulma blushed as the man took her hand and bowed lightly at the waist.
"I am known as Aragorn. Please, come with me. Rivendell is not far from here." He smiled at them as he leapt easily onto his horse.
He held his hand down to Bulma and he effortlessly flipped her up behind him. She chirped in surprise and clutched his waist. The horse stepped sideways, adjusting to the new weight and Bulma shrieked and then giggled in embarrassment. As they started off Bulma called out, "Wait! Hold on!"
The precession ceased and Aragorn looked expectantly at her over his shoulder.
"I have a…a machine in the woods over there. It's very important that we have it!" She looked at the men around her with large eyes.
"Where is it exactly?"
Bulma frowned. "I'm not sure."
Goku stepped forward, "I do. It's in the trees…maybe fifty feet that way." He pointed off into the thick of the trees.
Aragorn nodded. "Oris, Isis, help this man retrieve his… 'machine' then return quickly to Rivendell. We are already late."
Two men nodded, their features strikingly similar. We would have learned later that the two were twins if we had stayed in Rivendell long enough to make their acquaintance. Possibly even learn of how Isis got the scar along his jaw from a boyhood prank that had gone awry. However, our story does not revolve around them and we will leave them in Rivendell to do as they please while our story continues.
Satisfied that they had what they needed, Bulma nodded her head and the group continued on. Piccolo and Vegeta walking in the back and glaring daggers at the riders as they turned to stare or whisper about the new companions— both were horribly unamused with the situation. Vegeta was ready to blast them when he slipped and barely caught his balance as he flailed his arms wildly. Piccolo paused in his step to check then continued on so that Vegeta couldn't see him holding back a laugh.
Vegeta stepped forward and growled. He had stepped in what appeared to be a mound of mud. As he shook his foot, bits of it flew in all directions and he continued, now and then shaking his foot as he went. A stench wafted up to his nose and he frowned as he looked at his boot then back at the mound.
"Smelly monkey." Piccolo cracked, an evil smirk lighting on his face. Vegeta glared at him and pushed him half-heartedly out of his way as he stalked ahead.
While Vegeta grumbled lightly to himself for a good twenty minutes, Piccolo gazed around him in awe and near rapture. The land here was so clean and untouched by development and greasy motorized civilization. The trees he saw towered feet over the largest trees he had seen in any forest on the Earth. The closest thing he could imagine were the ancient Redwoods that grew so large and were now part of National parks and monuments. As a looming castle slowly invaded the tree line a wave of drowsiness swept across him. For once in a very long time he longed to nap and the idea of meditating in the massive forests made him tingle in anticipation.