A/N: This was written for AOB as an apology from me to her:D She requested texting, an apology from Sherlock to John and milk! Thank you for being annoyed with me;) This was fun! Which may not be in the spirit of a true apology, but I am sorry:D
As usual I do not own. If I did I would give this one to AOB!
An Apology
The door slammed with an uncompromising BANG!
Sherlock knew he had done something to upset John, but he just didn't quite know what it was.
He sat in his chair, still and silent, thinking.
There was only one course of action.
Fortunately his phone was nearby. It wouldn't do to wait for John to come back to retrieve it for him. Not when he required it to find out what had angered John this time.
Long, elegant fingers swiftly played on the keypad.
John I have come to the conclusion that I may have done or said something that has annoyed you. SH
…
…
John? SH
…
…
Would you respond if I told you I had injured myself and I was bleeding? SH
…
Are you?
No. SH
…
John? SH
Sherlock, leave me alone. I am angry and upset and I need to go for a walk and clear my head before I do something I might regret.
Does this have anything to do with your jumper? SH
What? Which jumper? Sherlock what did you do?
I may have inadvertently spilled acid on one of your jumpers. SH
…
…
Which jumper?
The hideous Argyle one. SH
NO! But add it to the list!
You keep a list of the things I do to you that annoyed you? SH
IT"S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!
…
But maybe I should!
…
Are you angry with me because I interrupted your date with Grace or Gloria or whatever her name was? SH
Gretchen! No! But I should be!
It was important, John. SH
Interrupting me in the middle of a date that was for once going well to have me stand in for a murder victim so you can reenact the crime is not important!
It was necessary, John. The murder victim was your body type, same height, similar weight. The method of killing was sufficiently unusual enough that I didn't wish to take chances. SH
Thanks for that Sherlock! Pummeling me with oranges and then squirting me with canned whipping cream is not my idea of how that date should have ended!
Oh I don't know John. Some people like that sort of thing. SH
…
See I can be amusing, too John. SH
…
Besides it was unlikely you would have been presented with the opportunity to sleep with her. She was just using you to make her former lover jealous. SH
John? SH
…
John, I wish to make amends but I am uncertain as to what I did to cause you to be this angry with me. I would like to apologize but I wish to apologize for the right reason. Please tell me what I did. SH
…
John? SH
Fine! You sent my mother a detailed description of a crime scene including the number of body parts, descriptions of said body parts, the reasons for the killing, including, might I add, all of the perverted and twisted things the killer did to the victim before hand. My mother is frail and not in the best of health. She was upset! I spent the better part of my day explaining to her that you are not insane and plotting to murder her. Although now I wonder! I also had to endure a frantic and very drunk rant from my sister because my mother had called her first.
…
…
John I am sorry for the turmoil I may have caused in your life over this unfortunate incident. I used your phone to text Lestrade the details of that particular case and I must not have checked before hand to whom I was sending the text. It was not intended for your mother and the descriptions were, unfortunately, very graphic. I will make amends to you, your mother and your sister. Would dinner be acceptable? SH
…
John? SH
John I am very, very sorry. SH
Fine. Okay, But it has to be that new restaurant. The one with the 6-month waiting list. And you can't call in any favours to pay for it. And you have to phone my mother and my sister and apologize but I want you to write down everything you are going to say before hand and I get to veto anything that is inappropriate. Deal?
Deal John. Thank you for accepting my apology. Are you on your way home now? SH
Yes, Sherlock. I'm on my way.
Good. Stop at the shops. We're out of milk. SH