Red vs. Blue
REASSIGNED
CHAPTER ONE
"Here We Go Again"
"Command," Sarge said into the radio of his Red Mark VI Helmet. "This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One!" A few seconds later, someone replied, "Blood Gulch Outpost Number One, this is Command. What do you need?" Sarge chose his next words carefully. "Can you Nuke Blue Base?" Static, then, "Negative. Anything else?" Sarge sighed. "No. Nothing else. Number One out.
Meanwhile, Simmons and Grif were standing by the Motorcycle, talking as usual. "I wish we could figure out what the Blues are up to," Simmons said. The sunlight shined off of his Maroon Mark VI armor. Grif, to his right, was wearing his Orange Mark VI armor. "Man, that one Blue guy is f****** retarded. He called me 'Mr. Yellow' the other day. Seriously. I'm orange, you moron."
Simmons turned to his friend, and said, "God, Grif. You whine more than a drunken bitch in an Adult Film. Calm down." Before Grif could respond, Sarge called them over to the Grav Lift.
"Ladies," he called. "Do you know what this is?" They turned to look at the machine. There were three of them on the base, two on the sides, and one on the middle. A blue shimmering light hovered above them, launching anything to enter the lift. "Uh... I don't know, ad, honestly, I really don't care," Grif stated.
"This is something called, a Grav Lift. It launches stuff. So, I'm going to launch you two, and I'll come behind you, and we'll invade Blue Base." He walked towards it, then stepped aside. "Who goes first?" Simmons shoved Grif forward. "Hey, you jackass!" Grif said. He stopped directly in front of the lift. "Are you sure this thing is safe?" he asked nervously. "Shouldn't you read, like, a manual or something before operating machinery?" "Oh quit whinin', you little cockbite," said Sarge, and pushed him into the lift. Grif screamed as he was launched halfway across the canyon.