A/N: This is a few days late, eh, but it's done. I'm not completely happy with it, though it's better than my other scrapped April Fools idea. AU post-End Game because it's supposed to be a fun holiday, and this story wouldn't have happened without Wally.
Enjoy.
There was a light knocking on the window. No, it wasn't quite knocking; it was more of a tap. Of rocks? Bart rolled over. What time was it? The noise continued, although it was pointless. Once the speedster was awake, it took only a few seconds for his body to fully wake up. Part of that was growing up in the apocalypse, and the other part was from his quick metabolism.
Sitting up, he got out of bed with a quick glance at the clock. One o'clock in the morning, seriously? "So feeling the mode." He reached his window and opened it. He caught a flash of red hair below him, and within a second he turned around, one Wally West was standing in his bedroom.
"Dude, how did you get in here?" Last he checked the original Kid Flash still couldn't phase through objects. His cousin rolled his green eyes.
"I'm best friends with Dick Grayson. I can pick a standard lock in a split second."
"Fair," Bart narrowed his eyes, nonetheless still confused. "Why are you here?"
Wally spread his hands and raised his arms. "It's April Fools. I have to get you on my team."
There were a number of holidays Bart never knew existed. He felt this was one of them. "Uh… what's that?" He did not blush, but he felt the tips of his ears get warm.
"You… you're an Allen and don't know what April Fools is?" Wally gaped at him. Bart tried not to squirm under the gaze. Most of everybody by now could guess he never really had a happy childhood, and that the Reach destroyed whatever could be considered a happy holiday. However, he felt exposed with the lack of cultural knowledge when he was supposed to be the spoiler guy.
Wally, not wishing to put the pressure on the young boy, registered the fact that he did not know what April Fools was and made it his mission for the day to change that. This would be the best day ever. He needed to beat Barry this year.
"Okay, that's cool. April Fools is a special holiday. It's the day dedicated to pulling pranks on everybody. The superhero community usually forms teams to pull pranks on each other. Besides the sticks-in-the-mud like Batman, but only his protégés are allowed to prank him without suffering the consequences. Anyway, most supes families turn on each other. It's required that I beat Barry this year after everything that happened last year, and another speedster will be great in that endeavor since Grandpa Jay usually pairs will Uncle Barry." He took a deep breath and beamed at Bart.
Bart was typically the guy who would talk at super speed; he couldn't remember the last time Wally did. However, he was able to catch every word so he nodded along. "Sounds crash. So you want to recruit me?"
"Yep! Are you in?"
He nodded again.
Wally wrapped an arm over Bart's shoulders and pulled out his phone. He speed dialed, literally speed dialed, a number and then held it to his ears. Too long of a few seconds later for the redhead, the call went through.
"Hey Dick! Yes, I know what time it is." Bart's hearing was not as great as his eyesight, but he still heard the oldest Robin's disgruntled voice on the other end telling off his best friend. "Yes, I know what time it is for you too… Yes! I know the day. That's why I'm calling. I already have Bart on our team. Can we come over?" Wally made sure to keep his voice slow, although he was clearly impatient. Bart wondered how much sleep the other man had after his patrol as Nightwing the night before. He guessed it wasn't much.
"Great. We'll be there in fifteen." Wally hung up. He turned to face Bart. "Let's go. Everyone should figure out where you are. They know who I am and what day it is, and this is important. Your first April Fools in the past!"
It was his first April Fools ever. He had no idea what he was getting into.
-/-
Thirteen minutes later, Wally knocked on the door of his friend's apartment, and Bart stood a good two-three extra feet back. From the expression on Dick's face and the glare he gave Wally, the young speedster figured that was a safe bet. "You know I need at least four hours of sleep to be a morning person?" He stepped aside to let them in, and since it wasn't the teenager's fault, Dick gave his best smile to Bart while still glaring at the redhead. "Morning Bart."
"Do you have anything to eat?" Wally was in the kitchen searching for food. Food that wasn't there.
"Not really, no." He sipped his coffee and motioned toward the table for them to sit down.
Bart did an exploration of the place, taking a second since it was only a two room apartment. "So this is your place?"
"Yeah," Dick had a moment to register Bart hadn't visited before. If he visited any of the Bats it was typically Tim at the manor.
"Do you Bats live off coffee?" Wally was still in the kitchen scavenging. Dick resisted the urge to massage his temples at the high-energy of speedsters, questions, and less than two hours of sleep.
"No. Bruce and Tim live off coffee." He took a long swing from his cup. "I just haven't had time to go shopping this week."
Wally snorted in disagreement then found a seat to sit down. Bart sat down next to his cousin and stared out the window. "Your view sucks, by the way." He was nursing a cup of coffee of his own, and Dick wasn't even sure when he grabbed it. He needed to wake up.
Reaching over, he snatched the offending cup away. "No. You guys aren't allowed caffeine." Each of the nocturnal knights of Gotham had at least one horror story of speedsters on coffee. Bart reached to take it back, but the paper cup and contents were already thrown into the trash.
"Wha- how?"
Wally placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, as Bart stared with sorrowful eyes and empty stomach. "And we don't choose places with the best view unless it's at the manor," Dick went on like nothing was the matter. "It's based on security, depending on how easy we can wrap up and sneak in after patrol."
Bart could understand that. He also knew he never met a more paranoid group of people, and he grew up in a pretty helpless feeling environment. "You guys think of everything don't you?" Tim threw a book at him after he almost set off his friend's alarm the last time he visited his safe house.
The return smirk told him that Richard Grayson was waking up and had the mischief in them that drove Batman and the rest of his family crazy. "You guys woke me up this early. You have any specific traps?"
Wally shrugged. "Nope. You? What do you think the teams will be this year?"
The younger man tapped the table top, clearly already laying out plans and deciding which League and Team members will be the best to recruit. Bart himself was tapping a hole in the floor with his foot, probably giving Dick's neighbors a headache.
"I can ask Jaime to join us. He'll be up for some crash plans."
Wally nodded in agreement. "I don't know what members of the League will be with us. Hal will likely join with Uncle Barry. We can convince Ollie. I'll ask Artemis to help us out with that."
"Will she be joining us?" Dick had taken out his phone and deliberately punching in a number.
"No, she's helping babysit Lian. Apparently, she and Jade said if any of us drag them into it we'll be murdered in our sleep." He sounded genuinely scared. Bart chuckled. "Roy might though. I'm not sure what he's planning."
Dick hummed noncommittedly and hit the call button. Placing the phone on speaker, he placed it on the table. He rested his chin on his knuckles and waited for the call to go through.
"Urrh… This better be a damn emergency, Dick. I barely went to sleep an hour ago." Tim's frustrated voice came from the other end. The smirk remained prevalent on his brother's face as Dick answered.
"Of course it's an emergency, Timmy. It's April Fools. You can't tell me you're not prepared this year. I spotted your plans a few weeks ago."
The speedsters watched in bemused silence while the two protégés of the Bat spoke. "Good for you. You'll be lucky I don't use it on you. I've updated them since then." His voice was groggy. Dick could imagine his little brother reaching for the now-cold coffee on his desk.
"Don't be like that. A couple of us will have to team up if we want to get one up on B." Dick pouted. Aware that the puppy-dog Grayson look wouldn't work as well on a phone connection, Bart decided to speak up.
"Come on, Tim. It'll be my first April Fools. Er… second, technically, in the past! We need the help. We haven't gotten any one else confirmed so far for our side."
There was a grumble of "Because everyone else is still asleep," before Tim spoke directly into the phone. "Bart? Yeah, okay. But Dick should know that I'm going to come on top against B this year." A rustle of papers sounded from the phone. "Do you want me to meet you guys there? I can make it in a half hour if I steal the Batwing."
"It's fine. I thought we could meet at Babs' since that will be closer to both of our places. I'm sure she'll agree to work with us, and plus she'll have food."
There was a snort of disbelief from Tim. "Yeah, whatever, Dick. I'll see you there." The line went dead.
The oldest Robin pouted and started to dial Barbara's number. "That's not nice to call people names." He kept the phone off speaker this time as he talked to the female redhead.
Bart glanced at Wally. "How does he know when people aren't just saying his name?" His cousin beamed.
"Just when it's his brothers. While they have their civil war of 'we're too early to have phone conversations' do you have any plans for today?"
Bart thought on it. He really didn't. He loved having fun and seeing how people were able to enjoy themselves. He watched a couple prank wars with the team in the last year, but nothing he guessed would be in the scale of today. He shook his head.
"It's fine. By this time next year you'll be a master. Just enjoy yourself today." The grin Wally gave him was one of the reasons Bart loved Wally West and why he tried so hard to live up to his name. There was something about the young heroes that exuded warmth Bart wanted to emulate.
"Okay, we're a go to meet up at Babs' place." Dick concluded his phone call and turned to his best friend. "You're answering the door."
"She's going to try and punch you, isn't she?"
-/-
It wasn't a punch that greeted them. After the trio knocked on the door, there was a click on the opposite side. "It's unlocked."
Dick leveled Wally with his best Batman impression, and the speedster rolled his eyes and grabbed the doorknob. A small squeak left his lips as he was shot with electricity. Dick didn't try to stifle his laughter as he clutched his side. He had two redheads glaring at him as the door opened to show an annoyed Barbara Gordon. Bart bit his lip to hide his smile that broke across his face.
"Sorry Wally, that wasn't for you."
Bart noted that it was homier than Dick's, but otherwise still sparsely decorated save a few personal knickknacks and pictures.
Tim didn't arrive for another five minutes. While they waited, the speedsters helped themselves to the fridge, with Barbara giving a resigned sigh. The two Bats discussed basic plans while they waited for their third member to show up.
"This is great!" Bart stuffed the pastry in his mouth. He swallowed, sheepish, while Barbara glanced up at him.
"Yep, and it isn't coffee." Wally directed at his best friend. Dick stuck his tongue out and grabbed a muffin.
Barbara brushed her hair back and went to fetch her second glass. "We have plenty of that as well."
The doorbell rang again, and Bart went to answer it. Double checking to make sure the door was no longer booby trapped, he opened the door to find a tired Tim Drake at the doorstep. He was dressed casual, though he wore the sunglasses that hid his civilian ID.
"You know those are worthless right now, right?" He pulled his friend in. The teenage tilted his head back, amused.
"Shows what you know. I modified them for night vision." Bart couldn't say he was surprised.
"You have too much time on your hands." He said sympathetically.
Tim shrugged. "I never have enough time." He side stepped a hug from Dick, but the older Robin expected this and hugged his little brother anyway.
Barbara herded her boys to the table, pulling up another chair. "So which of you guys changed the Batsignal to be pink?"
The two brothers looked at each other as they sat down. Tim shook his head, "Wasn't me."
Dick seemed to be considering something before he hit his head on the table. "Damnit, he's got one on us already."
Tim hid his glee behind a cup of coffee. "He's got one up on you. I already set up a trap B has no choice to set off."
Dick covered his face with his hands. "What did you do?"
"Set the Batmobile to play Hit Me Baby One More Time every time someone turns it on or sets off its security. So when Jason tries something with it like you know he will, that will be two points for me on top of B setting it off when he went on patrol earlier."
Dick groaned. "I hate you two so much. I'm the oldest! I'm supposed to win."
Wally cackled and wrapped his arm around Bart in a half-hug, ruffling his hair. "Early bird gets the worm, Dick." He focused on the teenager in his arms. "That goes for you too. Next year I won't be waking you up."
Bart had yet to decide whether or not he would wake up early for the occasion next year. At the very least, he would confirm that his room was not rigged for when he got up.
As the three Bats discussed their plans (Bart thought most were on the complicated side, everything he thought of so far was simpler. More precise), he turned to Wally, who was munching on some food and watching his friends amusedly. "What have you done in the past?" He needed more ideas if he wanted to compete with the analytical vigilantes of Gotham and his eager cousin. Not to mention that he wanted to soak up stories of the past without being obvious about it.
Wally paused a second in thought and then began regaling his tales. "A story of firsts: after I learned that Uncle Barry was the Flash, I tricked him to slip on a banana peel and caught it on camera." He seemed embarrassed to admit the unoriginality of the joke. Dick rolled his eyes with a slight smile in their direction while scratching out whatever Tim had written down. Bart, not understanding the bashfulness Wally gave him, hummed in assessment to the decent idea.
"You've never heard of that gag?" The redhead seemed sad and Bart tried not to blush. "It's like, super old."
"It's pedestrian and you could have done better Wally." Tim was jabbing his brother with a marker and continued writing his scheme without further interruption.
The young man put a hand to his chest, "I said it was my first one, give me some slack." Wally amped up his offense theatrically before he mumbled under his breath. "Besides, bananas aren't as slippery as people make them out to be. Only reason it worked was because he was going so fast." The scientific observation appeased the current Robin, for he smirked in response with a slight nod. Barbara was rubbing her temples, wondering why she allowed this group into her home.
"Anyway," Wally continued, blocking out the others as he grinned at Bart. "The first April Fools after the team was formed, we-" he motioned to himself and Dick, "-rigged all of Mount Justice into a prank obstacle course. Only we knew the safe passage around."
Dick and Tim passed the papers to Barbara for her to check over, as the older of the two went and grabbed a wet cloth to wipe off the ink on his hand. "That was my idea."
"You wouldn't have gotten anything set up in time if it wasn't for me." Wally punched his friend in the arm, a cheeky glint in his green eyes.
"True," Dick conceded then glanced at his hand. "Timmy, this isn't coming off."
"Of course it isn't. It should come off within the next 24 hours though." Dick groaned, and Bart leaned over to check his friend's handiwork. On the back of Dick's hand was a crude drawing of a bird (a robin, he guessed) and the words 'R was here.' He laughed. This was going to be a fun day.
Bart's phone rang, and he had to stifle his laughter to pick it up. Either way, he did not get the chance. Wally swiped it from his hand and put the phone to his ear. "Wallace West speaking."
A groan sounded from the opposite side, "Wally, I was supposed to get him on my side." Barry's voice came out as a low growl and desperate plea.
"Early bird gets the worm." Wally echoed his earlier words and then hung up, handing the phone back. Bart looked at the clock. It somehow was already eight in the morning. With the mischievous looks they all shared, they were ready to get to work.
-/-
It was almost noon, and Bart and Jaime we eating lunch in Star City. It was the safest ground in the current prank war that swept the superhero community. Green Arrow had left his city to enact his own hopes and vengeance (after a set of trick arrows left by Red Arrow and Arsenal left him covered in slime and glitter).
Bart was on his third milkshake, and Jaime was starting on his lunch. "This is turning out to be a crazy day." Jaime said between bites. Bart nodded. His friend face palmed a second later and mumbled under his breath. The speedster guessed Blue Beetle's scarab inputted a smart ass comment.
"Have you ever done this before?" Bart questioned as he moved on to his fish and chips. So far the two young heroes helped Barry get lost in a maze, with Bart leading him astray and Jaime using his sonic blasts to increase the confusion. The maze was thanks to Hal since him and Barry could not agree on what to catch Superman off guard with. Then they caught the Atlanteans in a hot humid room with no access to either unlocking the door or the air conditioner thanks to Barbara's hacking the Watchtower. That along with a few other plans (some successful and some not) led the two to their current lunch break.
"Not really. I've known the team to do this in the past, but I thought it was safest to stay out of it." The embarrassment showed that the former strategy did not work as well as Jaime liked in the past. Bart decided to be fair and not question what pranks he got caught up in. The only person that was off-limits whether they participated or not, he learned, was Batman. Only his kids were insane enough to try their luck every year.
They continued eating until Bart's phone beeped with a text. Their team had agreed to keep each other informed on success and failures throughout the day. Tim just sent a message with Conner trying to get out of a barricaded wall. Somehow the teenager had found a metal that would not yield for the Kryptonian easily, yet had a low melting point. A sticky note was attached that said 'use heat vision :)' something the clone did not have. Bart snorted and passed it to Jaime to see.
The two were chuckling at the antics everyone kept them updated on when Jaime suddenly studied the surroundings uneasily. "I have a bad feeling-"
Cut off, a pack of dogs rammed into their table. Since it was outside, Bart could almost pass it off as an accident, if not for the laughter in the background.
-/-
It was late in the evening and Bart was exhausted on his feet. He lounged in one of the chairs in Wayne Manor after he said goodbye to Jaime when they got revenge on Barry. It was a fun day, and he was collecting himself and enjoying a batch of Alfred's cookies.
Hal won the most successful pranker in the Justice League this year, while the honor in the team went to Tim Drake. He also won the Bat-Clan's competition against his brothers and Bruce, with the help of Barbara sabotaging the other two. She managed to sedate Jason before he tried anymore of his violent pranks (didn't stop him in time to stop him sending a bomb to the Joker in Arkham though), and she ruined a quarter of Dick's pranks as revenge of the dye job she received last year. It was no surprise then that Batgirl claimed the second spot.
Bart watched the room, a feeling of contentment washing over him. One of the honest times he could say that after coming to the past. Wally winked at him then resumed his conversation with Dick and the older Roy. Arsenal was a few feet away from them, re-watching the video of Ollie falling into his trap. Jason, still recovering from being drugged, was lying on the couch across from him, helmet hair sticking up as he buried his face in a cushion. Tim and Barbara were leaning over a screen, discussing whatever they won from their bet of defeating Dick.
Alfred walked over to him and offered a mug of hot chocolate. "Thanks A." The auburn-haired teen grinned at the old butler. Alfred returned it with a small smile then focused on the other occupants.
"Young masters, Master Bruce requests that one of you meet him in his office."
Jason rolled over, denying the offer, and Tim tapped away at his miniature computer. "I'm good. You can get it, Dick." The oldest sighed yet made no signs of argument as he stood up and headed across the room.
"Roy, giv'me your cookies." Jason sounded half-asleep but managed to glare at the two redheads.
"No," they both replied at the same time.
Not to be deterred, the second Robin focused on Tim. "Replacement, gimme you' cookies."
"Get your own, Jason." Tim dunked his in his cookies before eating it. Wally, smirking, picked up Dick's last cookie and tossed it at the anti-hero's head.
Jason muttered a thank you and started nibbling on it, glaring up at the ceiling.
Bart shook his head at their antics and as discreet as he could, inched his napkin of cookies far out of reach of anyone in the room. A scream came from across the manor, and for a second Bart thought Dick realized his last precious cookie was stolen. Alfred let out an aura of equal disapproval and humor and proved him wrong.
"It appears that Master Bruce claimed his victim for the payback prank this year."
Tim sighed in disappointment as his big brother's idiocy. "It's almost always him. I knew it was a high probability that B will do it on whoever he saw next since he's refused to come out for hours." He drank his coffee, and Barbara scoffed in amusement as she took the computer away from him.
Bart stared at his friend, brows knitted together. "You're starting to scare me."
"You need to go easy on everyone, Tim. Otherwise all the humor will run dry if we don't hold off some things until next year." Barbara exited out of the program and reached for her own beverage. Jason grumbled something that sounded along the lines of 'says the girl who drugged me.' She ignored him.
A comfortable silence covered the room. After Barbara finished her tech talk with Tim, along with her cookies and drink, she stood up and stretched. "I need to head home. Are any of you boys heading out tonight?"
"Bruce will. I'm banned from patrol for the next week because B is a sore loser. Dick needs to return to Bludhaven early in the morning, but he may for a couple hours. You drugged Jason, so he's out for the night." Tim replied while he finished his coffee.
She nodded and said her goodbyes. "I'll catch up to you later then. I'll go ahead and send that case report to you after I get home so you have something to go over."
Bart stayed for another hour, content to stay in place. He agreed to spend the night Wally and Artemis, waiting for the green archer to show up. He joined Wally, Roy, Tim and Dick in cards, once the oldest Robin returned from cleaning himself up. The young speedster did well and may have broken even if they actually put money on the table. Alfred was ready with his gaze of disapproval in the background, so they refrained from it.
Arsenal was leaning over the couch, talking to Jason about the casework he agreed to help the Red Hood on. However, it became clear with anyone listening the other teen was just taking advantage of his disoriented friend to try to get some money back from who-knows-what.
A clear ring sounded throughout the manor as a doorbell went off. In a second Wally disappeared, leaving his cards on the table. Roy spotted his friend's hand and seeing that he would have won it, snatched the Monopoly money they were using into his pile before standing up and following at a slower pace.
Wally was talking animatedly to Artemis, his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders as he talked about the successes of his day- and none of his failures. When Wally's accounts caused her neutral expression to break into a smile, she kissed him and then looked over at Dick, trailing at the back of the group. "How did he do really?"
"Average." Dick laughed as his friend glared at him.
Roy was with Jade, Lian in his arms, as they talked in milder tones. The younger Roy was poking Lian with his normal hand, the baby gurgling happily at a second pair of her father's eyes paying attention to her.
"We decided to stay with Mom, as everyone else decided to spend the day as idiots." Jade inclined her head to her husband's clothes, which were covered in a sickly blue dye. Roy huffed as Artemis cut in.
"It's about time we head home soon though. And Ollie called and said he wants you two over for dinner tomorrow night." The redhead archers caught each other's eyes and denied the invitation, recalling Bruce's revenge on Dick. They were not falling for a similar trap.
Wally laughed. "Race you?" He glanced at Bart. The kid grinned and with another second gone, the manor was vacant of speedsters.
Artemis addressed Dick next. "Do you mind if I use the Bat Cave's zeta beam?"
He shrugged. "Sure, going to get back before them?"
"Going to secure all the food away and finish the touches of the prank rigged in the bathroom. Last time Bart visited both cleaned everything out."
Dick chuckled and led her away, bidding a goodbye to those still at the door.
Jade took Lian back, brushing her daughter's hair out of her face. The two redheads remaining echoed their goodbyes and followed her out. The two Roys finished recounting the day's events, with Red Arrow noting past April Fools at the same time.
While passing by, Dick checked to make sure neither of his brothers killed each other. Jason had fallen asleep, blanket courtesy of Alfred over his shoulders, and Tim stood up from the table as the two older heroes passed. Dick pushed him back in the seat gently. "You're off the streets tonight. You haven't gotten much sleep."
Tim snorted and picked up the blanket Alfred gave him, folding it before placing it back down. "And whose fault is that? I'm going upstairs to sleep. If I fall asleep down here with the mood Jason will be when he gets up, I'll end up with a knife at my throat."
Dick watched to make sure his brother was heading in the direction of his room and not the cave. Artemis, aware that she could lose the race home especially if they took a zeta beam, continued on her way. "Did you reach 500 points this year?" With the point-prank system only used by the Bats, Artemis was curious how her friend did anyway.
He pouted. "No, thanks to my annoying family. 390 for me."
They were cut off from further conversation as Tim called from upstairs. "Artemis, tell Bart if he tries to steal my candy again at the next team meeting, I have a blackmail video of him and Jaime getting ran over by dogs from Barry!"
"How much blackmail does he have by now?" Artemis deadpanned, her tone nonetheless amused.
"Considering he could hack anybody to increase those numbers, I have no idea."
A/N: My YJ fics always seem to end up longer than I expect them to. This was fun to write despite my apprehensions with getting these characters right. I hoped this was enjoyable, thanks for reading!