A crack fanfiction, please enjoy! :)
Another lovely day of not being noticed.
Normally, Canada would (reluctantly) wake up, drag himself out of bed and into the bathroom, wash up, get dressed, bake and eat his absolute favorite food, then pick up Kumabob and go to the meeting.
Today, well, today is a different case altogether.
It's July 1st.
"IT'S CANADA DAY!" Matthew Pancake Williams literally catapulted out of his cozy bed...and landed straight on the ground.
"Well, today has started wonderfully." Matthew mumbled before pushing his aching body off the ground. "I wonder how the rest of the day will go, eh? Maybe America or France will remember it's my birthday, then everyone will stop talking or whatever, and actually notice me, then we will all party-" As Canada ranted on and on about what will happen when he arrived at the world meeting, Kumajiro woke up and muttered a quiet, yet still noticeable, "Who?"
Canada paused in his fantasy and slowly turned his violet eyes toward Kumajiro.
"I'm Canada..." He shuffled towards the bathroom, and began his normal morning routine. So much for someone remembering him. At least he would get to spend time with his brother...where was America anyway?
AT THE WORLD MEETING PLACE, WHICH I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT COULD BE
"OKAY DUDES, TODAY WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS ABOUT WHICH SUPERHERO WE SHOULD USE TO MAKE CANADIA'S BIRTHDAY TOTALLY EPIC!"
In unison, all of the uptight and formal nations groaned.
"You git, it's not time for another one of your horrible ideas that will not help us- what are we doing again?" England began to scold the boisterous American, but stopped when he forgot what America was talking about.
France did his signature laugh. "Ohonhon~ Angleterre, it is mon petite Matheiu's birthday. July zhe first, non?" England rolled his eyes and continued to sip his Earl Grey tea. America continued to yell nonsense about 'Canadia' and 'Mattie-kins', before finally stopping and taking a deep breath.
"Okay, so who agrees with my idea?" America smiled brightly, which made Japan slightly nervous. It was the; 'You better agree with me Japan, even though I know you didn't have any idea what I was talking about' smile.
"I-i agree with America-san." Japan reluctantly muttered. "You need to have your own opinion, Japan!" Switzerland then started to rage about Peace prizes and guns and whatever neutral nations gossiped about.
Italy was skipping around chattering on and on about pasta and white flags, while eating pasta. Which was an incredible feat, considering this Italy we're talking about, and he can't do anything. Romano was bashing his forehead on the wooden table over and over again because Spain was talking non-stop about tomatoes. On the other hand, England, America, and France had somehow begun a fight about who had the best food, and it seemed like England was somehow winning the argument.
Greece was petting a tiny calico kitten while mumbling something about Japan as a kitty maid and him as his master, while Turkey was trying to strangle him. Sweden was currently freaking out Finland by stroking his blonde hair 'lovingly'. Honestly, it just made Finland faint, which made the Nordic section of the table freak out.
Germany was at his wit's end, he was trying not to shoot everyone with the pistol hidden in his coat pocket.
Yes, he was trying to not play the Switzerland card.
Suddenly, the double doors slammed open, and a wheezing Canada was hunched over with his hands on his knees. He held his left arm up, since the right arm was holding Kumajiro, and pointed his index finger at America.
"Y-you...were supposed..t-to pick up..t-today, America." The Canadian breathed in and out, before standing up straight and stalked towards America with a dark red aura surrounding him.
America was nervous. Okay, that was an understatement, he was terrified. It wasn't everyday that the invisible Canada was angry. He was usually all peace and polar bears and maple tree hugging...unless America forgot about him. The last time this occurred, America barely survived. Let's just say he spent almost a whole year in the local hospital.
"Oh...hey Mattie! W-what's up? Uh, sorry about the forgetting about picking you up. I was just joking- YEAH, I WAS JOKING. HAHAHAHA!" America was on the brink of death, because Canada has his hockey stick out. And had his hockey face on.
Well, s***'s about to go down, motherfluffers. And it's about to go way down.
Russia was 'kolkolkol'ing, and clapping, because he was so proud of Canada. America was actually scared of someone. And that someone was CANADA.
"You can forget aboot Kumajiro, you can forget aboot Canada, you can forget aboot my birthday, BUT NO ONE FORGETS ME!" Hence, Canada began to chase America around with his hockey stick.
Calistrophia was calmly watching the North American brothers run around the meeting room. She leaned over and whispered to the Netherlands, "Twenty on Canada." Tim nodded and started writing down the bets and who placed them on a napkin. Soon everyone was either rooting for Canada or America.
Prussia, being the dumb albino he is, stood up in his chair and said the trigger words.
"Maple syrup is stupid."
America let out a girlish scream and hightailed it out of the meeting room, along with Calistrophia, Japan, Cuba, Romano, France, the Netherlands, Italy, San Marino (who was swung over Calistrophia's shoulder), and Germany. They all saw the look in the Canadian's eyes that said, 'MANADA MODE ACTIVATE'.
Over the next few minutes, all of the countries could hear multiple noises coming from inside the room. A few yelps, then Switzerland and Liechtenstein ran out. Some screams, and Seychelles and South Korea found their way out. Soon all of the countries that were outside the room were wondering what was going on.
Germany decided to be the brave one. He cracked the door open and stepped in.
(Plot twist, Canada turned into the Hulk! Jk.)
"Mein gott." Calistrophia, who had San Marino clinging onto her arm, came up behind Germany and gaped at the sight.
All of the Asian countries that did not escape were doing Gangham Style in hot dog costumes, Prussia and Russia were covered in maple syrup and surrounded by polar bears and beavers, Australia was being chased by Canadian goose, and all of the other countries were either tied up and hanging from the ceiling, or were having a tea party with some moose. In the center of it all, was a really manly looking Canada.
"HAHAHA. You all remember who I am now, right?" All of the countries quickly nodded their heads.
This was the moment you walked in. You stood there in your superhero costume for a few minutes and watched as a hairy Canada was on the speaker's podium, and the rest of the meeting room was in chaos. You just shrugged and muttered, "Why am I not surprised...", and opened the window.
"MR. FLUFFY, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?" One of your pet unciorns that farts fire came flying out of nowhere and crashed through the wall. South Korea held his hand out to the Netherlands and said, "Pay up da-ze!" All of the countries outside of the chaos groaned.
"How were we supposed to know a unicorn that farted rainbows was going to fly up here?"
Romano suddenly walked towards Manada, and glared at him.
"Listen maple bastard, I like-a you, you like-a me, and I can-a sense some chemistry. Do you-a get the picture?" Those few words made Spain faint which made Prussia and France freak out.
Manada laughed and hugged Romano like he was a teddy bear.
In the end, Calistrophia and South Korea ended up becoming the richest countries in the world, America and the others got a fear of Canadians and goose, while Romano got laid.
If someone ever asked why that was definitely the most normal meeting ever, you would just smile and shake your head. "It usually ends up like that."
But if someone asked Calistrophia, she would grunt then shudder. "That was the first time I had ever seen Russia be scared of someone."
At the next meeting, all that Canada did was apologize over and over again. Romano and Calistrophia were trying to console the distraught country, but Spain and San Marino were clinging onto their waists.
Also, everyone knew how tough you were since you walked in on Mr. Fluffy in a dinosaur costume. Prussia challenged you to an arm-wrestling contest, and you won. Actually, everyone beat Prussia, since he and Russia were stuck together. The syrup never washed off.
The meeting turned out to be pretty normal after that...until Portugal, who wasn't at the last meeting, spoke up.
"Maple syrup is stupid"
Here we go again...