Here on Earth
By: Ayrki
There are times that I look at you and I think I've died; it's not agonizing or violent. Quite the contrary, in fact, it's a slow, painless feeling. It is even calming and peaceful. I drown every time I stare into those deep, blue watery depths; so deep and so blue that I loose all sense of my existence. I think I've died and gone to heaven, even if I am still here on earth.
I loose myself in you, everything fades away, and it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing. Not the fighting, nor the saving the world; not the times I've died or felt that all was lost. Hopes and dreams don't seem so important anymore, not if I have you; but then, you are my hopes and dreams. I hope for your dreams and desires to become true, and I dream of all the times we spend together. Every time I stare into your eyes I fall and loose sight of it all, so I guess you could say I do die. But if this is death, then I have to wonder, why I always fought against it?
Then I realize this is so many times better than heaven, because it can keep getting better.
You're oblivious to me, so engrossed in your book that you read. To you only the book exists, and to me: only you. It's funny, you know, I used to try so hard to make friends. I tried to become the person that they wanted me to be; I thought that was how it was supposed to be. For a time it worked, I had friends that seemed to like me; but then none of it seemed to matter anymore.
When my parents died on that plane, I stopped caring anymore. It no longer seemed to matter: friends, school, family.me. None of it was as important as I once thought. Time passed and I tried again to make friends, but I couldn't seem to. Then the fights began and I stopped trying, nobody wanted to be friends with a violent person like me. What is odd, the thing that I find the strangest, is that the moment that I stopped trying and got used to being alone, I found you. Well, rather Usagi found us. You accepted me and didn't try to make me change.
Unable to resist anymore, I reach over and brush the insolent lock of blue hair out of your face and tuck it behind your ear. It's funny you know, the colour, but I can't imagine you with another colour. You look up from your immaculate copy of The Hidden Epidemic. Again, I feel myself begin to drown all over again and loose myself, but I'm pulled back from the brink when you smile. That smile I can't resist and would do anything for. That smile that would put armies against one another, or pull them together again. That is the smile that I hope to see and dream of, it is the smile that melts my heart. Finally, I murmur that the impudent bit hair had to have been annoying you, but we both know that I lie.
You can tell that I wanted your attentions, not that damned book! I used to wonder if I would be better off as a book of your's, then I would be the centre of your world and attentions. Then your small delicate hands would caress me as I longed to be. Again, you smile and close your book; you tell me that I don't have to be bored anymore and stand. Then eyes of blue meet those of green, in a fleeting thought I wonder why you torture me so. I finally break the trance that we seem to be in as I stretch out my arms to pull you closer. They then snake around your slender waist and you mould yourself to my taller frame. I swear when we were made we were designed to fit perfectly. After you lay your head upon my breast over my heart, that you own, I rest my forehead upon yours.
As we stand here, I find that there are so many things that I want to say, so many feelings that I wish to express. Yet, I am unable to and my lips are stilled before I may even try; but you seem content to stand in silence as you slip your arms around my waist. You don't seem to mind my inability to express my feelings, but then you never have.
There is so much I want to say, so much that I have to say; but I cannot. It's so frustrating, being unable to tell your soul mate how much you love her. Then again that is my curse, words escape me and will not bend to my will. I've never been good at expressing my feelings, well, with the exception of anger; and I've never found it more frustrating than now! I want to tell you that you are my world, my life, and my very breath; for without you, like air, I would surely die. I want to tell you that you are more important than the sun, the moon, and even the stars. You are not an angel for not even angels can reach the perfection that you are. With you, my love, your imperfections are your perfection. Confusing? perhaps, yet still the truth.
I hesitate to use those three words because society has made them obsolete. Society has stretched and bent those once rare and cherished words to become a means to an end. Many times it is now something simply to say when you want something, not to express your heart's deepest emotions. They have been stripped of their meaning and become as empty as the promises of eternal love. Funny, I never knew eternity lasted a few short months or even mere years. For us eternity is just that: eternity.
Although these words seem so inadequate, hollow even, I open my mouth to utter them. Yet, you silence me with a soft finger upon my lips. You lift your head ever so much and I feel myself falling again, but I resist no longer. 'I know, love, I know,' you whisper in a hushed voice as you tug an arm free. I almost make a mistake by thinking that you want out of the embrace. Your slender fingers, so perfect for your profession, trace along my jaw and bring me to you.
Then all thoughts stop, all breathing, all inability to tell you of my love; for it is all in that kiss. Soft and gentle, passionate and almost demanding. Delicate but unbreakable, the kiss is our love in corporeal form. I almost break the kiss to laugh at that last thought, sometimes I think this bond is so much deeper than we realise. My coherent thought has returned, for the moment, and I now know how to tell you.
Without any words I tell you how I love you.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
So? Good? Bad? Eh? I am betting that you can all tell who this is about, if not.well, I don't know what then ;o). So, should I never write one of these fics again and just stick to the mayhem that I am creating in Cold Inferno? Anyway, I hope you liked it. I wrote it up fairly quickly to take a slight break from the monster (Cold Inferno) but I guess it is back to work, huh? :o) Tell me what you think and if I missed any mistakes, I did check it but probably missed something. Thanks.
Leave a review or mail me at ayrki@yahoo.com I will reply. (Yeah, I have that little of a life. I just dodge doing Chemistry homework 0_^)
By: Ayrki
There are times that I look at you and I think I've died; it's not agonizing or violent. Quite the contrary, in fact, it's a slow, painless feeling. It is even calming and peaceful. I drown every time I stare into those deep, blue watery depths; so deep and so blue that I loose all sense of my existence. I think I've died and gone to heaven, even if I am still here on earth.
I loose myself in you, everything fades away, and it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing. Not the fighting, nor the saving the world; not the times I've died or felt that all was lost. Hopes and dreams don't seem so important anymore, not if I have you; but then, you are my hopes and dreams. I hope for your dreams and desires to become true, and I dream of all the times we spend together. Every time I stare into your eyes I fall and loose sight of it all, so I guess you could say I do die. But if this is death, then I have to wonder, why I always fought against it?
Then I realize this is so many times better than heaven, because it can keep getting better.
You're oblivious to me, so engrossed in your book that you read. To you only the book exists, and to me: only you. It's funny, you know, I used to try so hard to make friends. I tried to become the person that they wanted me to be; I thought that was how it was supposed to be. For a time it worked, I had friends that seemed to like me; but then none of it seemed to matter anymore.
When my parents died on that plane, I stopped caring anymore. It no longer seemed to matter: friends, school, family.me. None of it was as important as I once thought. Time passed and I tried again to make friends, but I couldn't seem to. Then the fights began and I stopped trying, nobody wanted to be friends with a violent person like me. What is odd, the thing that I find the strangest, is that the moment that I stopped trying and got used to being alone, I found you. Well, rather Usagi found us. You accepted me and didn't try to make me change.
Unable to resist anymore, I reach over and brush the insolent lock of blue hair out of your face and tuck it behind your ear. It's funny you know, the colour, but I can't imagine you with another colour. You look up from your immaculate copy of The Hidden Epidemic. Again, I feel myself begin to drown all over again and loose myself, but I'm pulled back from the brink when you smile. That smile I can't resist and would do anything for. That smile that would put armies against one another, or pull them together again. That is the smile that I hope to see and dream of, it is the smile that melts my heart. Finally, I murmur that the impudent bit hair had to have been annoying you, but we both know that I lie.
You can tell that I wanted your attentions, not that damned book! I used to wonder if I would be better off as a book of your's, then I would be the centre of your world and attentions. Then your small delicate hands would caress me as I longed to be. Again, you smile and close your book; you tell me that I don't have to be bored anymore and stand. Then eyes of blue meet those of green, in a fleeting thought I wonder why you torture me so. I finally break the trance that we seem to be in as I stretch out my arms to pull you closer. They then snake around your slender waist and you mould yourself to my taller frame. I swear when we were made we were designed to fit perfectly. After you lay your head upon my breast over my heart, that you own, I rest my forehead upon yours.
As we stand here, I find that there are so many things that I want to say, so many feelings that I wish to express. Yet, I am unable to and my lips are stilled before I may even try; but you seem content to stand in silence as you slip your arms around my waist. You don't seem to mind my inability to express my feelings, but then you never have.
There is so much I want to say, so much that I have to say; but I cannot. It's so frustrating, being unable to tell your soul mate how much you love her. Then again that is my curse, words escape me and will not bend to my will. I've never been good at expressing my feelings, well, with the exception of anger; and I've never found it more frustrating than now! I want to tell you that you are my world, my life, and my very breath; for without you, like air, I would surely die. I want to tell you that you are more important than the sun, the moon, and even the stars. You are not an angel for not even angels can reach the perfection that you are. With you, my love, your imperfections are your perfection. Confusing? perhaps, yet still the truth.
I hesitate to use those three words because society has made them obsolete. Society has stretched and bent those once rare and cherished words to become a means to an end. Many times it is now something simply to say when you want something, not to express your heart's deepest emotions. They have been stripped of their meaning and become as empty as the promises of eternal love. Funny, I never knew eternity lasted a few short months or even mere years. For us eternity is just that: eternity.
Although these words seem so inadequate, hollow even, I open my mouth to utter them. Yet, you silence me with a soft finger upon my lips. You lift your head ever so much and I feel myself falling again, but I resist no longer. 'I know, love, I know,' you whisper in a hushed voice as you tug an arm free. I almost make a mistake by thinking that you want out of the embrace. Your slender fingers, so perfect for your profession, trace along my jaw and bring me to you.
Then all thoughts stop, all breathing, all inability to tell you of my love; for it is all in that kiss. Soft and gentle, passionate and almost demanding. Delicate but unbreakable, the kiss is our love in corporeal form. I almost break the kiss to laugh at that last thought, sometimes I think this bond is so much deeper than we realise. My coherent thought has returned, for the moment, and I now know how to tell you.
Without any words I tell you how I love you.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
So? Good? Bad? Eh? I am betting that you can all tell who this is about, if not.well, I don't know what then ;o). So, should I never write one of these fics again and just stick to the mayhem that I am creating in Cold Inferno? Anyway, I hope you liked it. I wrote it up fairly quickly to take a slight break from the monster (Cold Inferno) but I guess it is back to work, huh? :o) Tell me what you think and if I missed any mistakes, I did check it but probably missed something. Thanks.
Leave a review or mail me at ayrki@yahoo.com I will reply. (Yeah, I have that little of a life. I just dodge doing Chemistry homework 0_^)