Wars don't end when a side "wins". There are no winners, just survivors. The Battle of Hogwarts destroyed Draco Malfoy. Can Astoria Greengrass save the troubled young man?
Another head hangs lowly Child is slowly taken And the violence causes silence Who are we mistaking But you see it's not me It's not my family In your head in your head They are fighting -
June 1999:
After the war, Draco Malfoy died. Not physically of course, but the proud arrogance that the boy was once known and loathed for was gone. Draco couldn't even go near the drawing room without hearing the screams or that evil snake crunching human bones as if they were but bacon. He was mental, he knew it.
He just stopped caring. He was tired of fighting, tired of hiding how he felt and tired of waking up on the rare days he could sleep. Waking up was the worse part due to the fact he would have to face his guilt for all of the losses.
Crabbe. He watched his friend since childhood be swallowed whole by the flames he created.
- Severus. -
Severus.
He felt the tears that he refused to release. He never told him how much he loved him, it was never a romantic love. Severus was Draco's other mentor next to Lucius. Until that blasted sixth year. He began to loathe Severus with everything he had. He did nothing that Severus advised. Sixth year was the beginning of the most mentally exhausting two years that Draco had to cope with. Severus died before Draco could apologize. He now had to live with that for the rest of his life.
Narcissa Malfoy watched her son's mental health disintegrate. He internalized everything and it took its toll on him. She heard his agonizing cries at night, and held him when he trembled uncontrollably. She watched him shrivel into nothingness and she couldn't do anything. She wanted nothing more than to cradle him and not let him go but she had to accept the fact her baby had grown into a very damaged young man.
The Malfoy Family had been given a break because Narcissa kept Potter alive. Lucius left the country to return to France, Draco hated it but he blamed Lucius, for the state he was in, so he avoided his father. Narcissa refused to go and stayed in England with particular morning, Draco decided he had to get out of the house, he wanted to try to talk to talk to someone. After kissing his mother on her cheek, he apperated to Diagon Ally.
He found the store he was looking for. Ollivander's.
Taking a deep breath, Draco walked in. He didn't need a wand, as to why he was there, he wasn't sure. The frail old man was sitting in a chair.
"Hello, Draco."
Draco took a deep breath and he stood at there trying to say something. He heard his voice finally speak. "I-I needed to try to apologize." God, he was stumbling over his words like a child.
"For what?" The man looked at Draco.
"You were held hostage in my home, I just stood there while they-"
Ollivander stood up and looked at the haggered Draco, the boy looked like sleep was not being his friend, "How is your wand working?"
Draco's heart sunk. He can't know! "I haven't really used it in a while. I'm not sure." When in fact, Draco had been having problems casting the simplest spell.
"Hmm. Give it a try and let me know. As for your apology I cannot accept it, because then that has to imply you were somewhat responsible. You weren't. The horrible thing about war, Draco, is that people are forced to grow up before their time. You were as much a victim of circumstance as I.
Now my dear boy, I am old and tire a lot quicker than most. And Draco? You should forgive yourself. You are more of a prisoner to your mind right now."
Draco muttered his thanks.
As he left he stalked into the Leaky Cauldron. He craved a drink. Sitting at the bar, Draco just asked for a bottle of their strongest drink.
Tom looked at Draco and grabbed a rather old, dusty bottle of Firewhiskey and said, "Ten galleons. This stuff is very potent so pace yourself." Draco paid Tom and went to the back of the pub were there weren't many people. The first swallow of the liquor had burned. But he immediately felt better.
About an hour later, Hermione Granger walked in with Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood. They were having a girl's day out. 2 years after the war ended, no one was healed but life started to move on.
Hermione spotted Draco, and she continued to watch her lonely colleague throughout the morning, get as trashed as humanly possible. He'd forgotten the glass and just started chugging from the bottle. She felt concerned, though she wasn't sure why.
Hermione didn't want to draw attention to him, so she walked over to the bar and asked Tom "How long has Malfoy been here?"
Tom looked over to the corner, and Draco now had his head on the table. "He's been here for about an hour. The only thing I gave him was a old bottle of Firewhiskey. He seemed like he needed it. I'll have to get ahold of his mother."
"I'll take him home."
"Are you sure?"
Hermione nodded, swallowing at the thought of returning to that manor.
Hermione returned to Ginny and Luna, "I know you're going to call me crazy."
Ginny sighed, "What's up?"
Hermione explained the situation, and Ginny sighed, "You're coming back right?" "If it doesn't take too long, I'm coming back."
Hermione went over to Draco's table he was knocked out, the large bottle of firewhiskey was maybe a few shot glasses full from the bottom "Malfoy?"
He stirred and looked at her, his eyes were bloodshot, and he reeked. "Are you okay?"
He shook his head.
"I wanna forget, can you help me?"
Hermione felt sick for a second.
"What do you mean forget? The war?" She asked gently.
"I need, need to get out of my head apparently. It's not a very good place to be." "Okay, Mal-Draco. I told Tom I'd take you home, are you still at the mansion?"
"Yeah, it's in Wiltshire. You... You know I can still hear your scream after all this time? I still see my aunt cutting you. It's suck in my head and Burbage, she was eaten in my table she was the second person I watched die, I didn't help her and I didn't help Dumbledore...Oh my god, I'm so sorry." He put his face in his hands.
Hermione took a deep breath and sat next to him. "Have you talked to a healer about this? I mean it could help. What about your friends?"
"Firewhiskey's the best. I can finally quiet them down with it." "Who are 'them'? Draco?"
"They're everything, all the screaming, all the blood, everything." "Okay come on."
He stumbled getting out of the chair. Hermione grabbed his arm.
"What in the hell has happened to you?" It slipped out before she stop it. He hadn't insulted her, he was a alien.
She felt her heart clench when Draco had a few tears streak down his face.
"I just want the war to be over. It's not getting better, none of it's changing, everything's still so fucking loud and I can't sleep, I just want to sleep." He said loudly.
The looks that the two had gotten from other onlookers would curl a cow's stomache. "Hermione?" She turned to the voice.
"Why aren't you at work?"
Astoria Greengrass smiled, "I'm off. Wait a minute, Draco?" She was two years younger than him, and from what she remembered he was always good looking, he was nice when she would speak to him and he even helped her with one of Snape's essays when no one else would take the time.
Looking at him now being drunker than all hell, was kind of tragic. He was always so put together until her fourth year, that was his sixth year, she watched him begin to fall apart. He was quieter, he looked sick all the time, and he just looked depressed but she could still see the fire in eyes. Now there was no flame, there was no determination and all that she could see was the pure emptiness.
Hermione said, "I couldn't leave him."
Astoria sighed grabbing his other arm, "I can't blame you. Let's get him to my flat, it's right down the street. I'll owl Narcissa."
It turns out that Draco was a sleepy, mumbling drunk. He drifted in and out of consciousness.
They made it to Astoria's flat, and laid Draco on the couch on his side. Astoria said, "He's too drunk for a sobering potion to work, can you grab a damp cloth out of the loo."
She acciod a bin for the upcoming aftermath of Draco's binge. Hermione returned, "Do you need anything else?"
Astoria shook her head. "I'll be right back." She wrote Narcissa telling her that Draco was there and he was in rough shape.
Sending the owl off she returned to her living room. "So how's your morning going?"
Hermione smiled, "It's good. What about you?"
"Daphne's pregnant, so I was with her for that." Astoria was jealous, she knew Daphne was older, but she wanted her own baby.
Hermione smiled, "I'm happy to hear that!" Remembering the look on Astoria's face when she recognized Draco made her curious enough to ask "What's the story with you and him?"
Astoria sighed, "No story. I know he was a prat to you, but it was like whenever he'd go into the common room it was like he was a totally new person, he smiled, he laughed and he treated me better than my own sister did."
"Are we talking about the same Draco Malfoy?" Hermione just blurted. The Draco that Astoria was describing was alien to her.
"The very same." Astoria smiled.
"Have you ever seen him drunk like this?"
"He used to be a really funny drunk."
"So I'm taking it you never told him you liked him?"
"What makes you think I have feelings for him?"
" I saw your face when you recognized him. I've had that face. You like him."
There's a two year age difference-"
"Oh, so what? From what he was saying to me, he could use friends. That includes lady friends down the road. Start off as his friend."
A voice from the speaker box spoke, "Miss Greengrass? There's a Narcissa Malfoy here for you."
Astoria sighed, "Okay, Scott let her in."
"Should I go?"
Astoria glared at Hermione, "Don't you dare! I like Narcissa but when it comes to him, she could give Bellatrix a run for her money if she feels he's in trouble."
Draco started thrashing, and then the door was ringing. Hermione went to the door, she was greeted with a frantic looking Narcissa Malfoy.
"Where is my son? What happened?"
"He's okay. He's just really drunk-" Hermione stopped because they could hear him gagging.
Narcissa walked in and saw her baby hugging a trashcan, while Astoria rubbed his back muttering words of encouragement.
Hermione decided to take the time to ask, "Mrs. Malfoy, has he seen any counselors since the war ended?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because he keeps talking about it, and Astoria and I know how it feels-"
Narcissa was immediately defensive. "We lived with Him for two years. Okay. You have no idea what took place day to he forced Draco to do. I don't even know half of it to be honest " She paused taking a second to calm down.
"To answer your question, I've made appointments for him to go. But he doesn't go, and the last thing he needs is more people judging him."
Hermione spoke again calmly, "I'm not judging him, I want to help him. I still have problems okay? Have you thought about moving out of the manor? All of those memories can't be good for him?"
Narcissa looked at her. "We don't have anywhere to go. No one's willing to sale to us. Trust me, Miss Granger, I've tried. This morning when he left, I was thinking it'll be good for him to get out, instead he gets utterly drunk. I'm running out of options."
Astoria looked at Narcissa, Draco finally stopped puking and was asleep."Both of you can stay here, I need help with the rent, it's a three bedroom apartment."
Narcissa sighed, "I'm not sure, I don't want to impose."
Astoria shook her head. "Rent's 400 gallons if we half it that would be great, all I'd ask is help with rent and every once in a while food. There aren't many people in this building, so that won't be an issue."
"He has these episodes in his sleep, that's the issue."
"What do you mean 'episodes'?" Hermione asked. "If they're nightmares-"
Narcissa shakes her head. "They're worse than nightmares. He'll try to sleep, and he sees You Know Who as clear as I see you."
"It sounds like he's got post traumatic stress. But I'm not a doctor.
Astoria sighed, "Just give staying here a chance, he's sleeping pretty good to me, I doubt you should wake him Narcissa took a deep breath, she needed to think about what was best for Draco."Okay."
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