Chapter 1

(Karen's Point of View).

Today everything has changed. I started high school and had possibly the worst day of my life. Even worse that when I got hit by a car, even worse than when the mouse died. I was partially dreading today because I was joining a different school to the one my brothers' have both attend, (Ben's in Year 9 and Jake's now starting his final year of sixth form) and before they would have warned me about what teachers I should hope to have and which I ones I should wish to avoid, like Jake did for Ben but because I'm not going there I don't get that little help. It also doesn't help that none of my friends are going here either, mum and dad thought that I'd be fine because I've always been 'a confident young lady', only I think my confidence might fade here. I haven't got any friends now. I don't like my teachers, I don't like the students. Half of them are up themselves, they think they're better than everyone else. They laughed at my blonde curls, and at my new fringe, I used to not care what anyone thought of me but that's all changed as well. I'm going to buy some hair dye. I'm going to use the straighteners that Gran got me for Christmas last year. I won't be 'Goldilocks' anymore.

I walk into Superdrug and search for the hair dye, it doesn't take long to find, but it's hard to choose as there's so many different brands. It's sad to think that people can make millions out of others wanting to change how they look, making money out of people who dislike their appearance. I guess I'm just adding to the pot now. Out if the corner of my eye I spot the razors, you know for shaving legs and stuff, then a thought popped into my head. A thought I never thought I would have, and yet I did. On Tumblr many of the people I follow engage in self mutilation, often cutting the skin open with razor blades. I always thought it was stupid, why would anyone do that but now I'm actually tempted to try it. The only thing is that I haven't got enough money, all I had was lunch and bus money for today which I didn't use (that's how I could afford the hair dye). You have to think Karen. Maybe it was just a stupid idea to begin with. Razor blades. Razor blades. Razor. Blades. Blades. Sharp. Sharp. Knife. No. Sharp. Sharp. Sharpener. Shit, sharpeners, they have blades, I could use one of them, I'm sure I have a disused one somewhere in my mess of a bedroom. Well that's sorted. I pay for my hair dye and make my slow way home. Mum will moan at me for being home so late, I could just lie and say I went into town with a couple of friends I made, sorry I didn't text. I find my key out just in case the door is locked (it isn't) and make my way in.

"Karen is that you?" I hear mum shout from in the kitchen. I consider whether I should reply or ignore her.

"Yeah." I answer, quietly, so that she might not even hear me, but she does. All mums have supersonic hearing. She walks into the lounge, where I have dumped my bag on the floor and slumped onto the sofa, my brothers are no where in sight.

"So how was it? How was your first day of big school?" What is adults obsession with calling it big school? And having to ask about every little detail your life?

"It was okay."

"Just okay? Did you make any friends?" The other favourite question of my parents.

"I made a few, we went into town. That's why I'm back late." Sticking to my story.

"Okay Karen, next time could you let me know, I was starting to worry a little." She means a lot, but she'd never say that out loud. She worries about us all too much. If only she knew what I was going to do tonight. "Did you buy anything?" She probes further, time to lie again.

"I didn't, as I didn't have my money, but Lucy got a blue top from New Look and Em got some new shoes." Karen Brockman. Perfect liar.

"I'll have to give you some money next time, it's not fun being the only one not spending."

"I know. What's for tea?" I ask, trying to move onto a different topic of conversation.

"Fish fingers, chips and beans."

"Okay, I'm going to go up to my room, shout me when it's ready." And I leave.

Upstairs to my sanctuary. To my own space. On the way I pass Ben's room, his door ajar so I can see the weird experiment he's doing today. It seems to involve toothpaste and worms. I put my bag on the floor, and take of my shoes. Looks like I got blisters from them. I suppose that's what you get when you wear new shoes and walk to school. I run up the stairs to see what Jake's up to, not really expecting him to be in. I knock on his door and get a gruntled. "What?"

"It's me, Karen. Can I come in?"

"Fine." And the door opens. I walk in, surprised to see a girl sitting on his bed, singing along to the song playing on his docking station.

"Hi." She says. "You must be Jake's sister. I've heard a lot about you." Why do people always say that when you meet them. It's always that or 'you've grown a lot since I last saw you'.

"Well I haven't heard anything about you, who are you?" I ask blankly.

"I'm Jake's girlfriend." Hah, last I heard he was dating Sam, a girl with long, dark hair. This girl is blonde. "I'm Bel."

"Don't tell mum." Jake warns me, she had this thing where she gets too involved in our private lives.

"Has Ben met Bel?" I ask.

"Yeah, he helped me sneak her in." He smiles, like it was a great accomplishment, which it's not.

"I can't believe you had to ask for his help." I tease.

"Why? Who have you been sneaking in?" He asks.

"Never you mind..." I reply as I leave the room and walk down the stairs. For the record I have never sneaked anyone in. It's just fun to make my brother worry like that.