N/A: Welcome all! I would just like to state there are TWO authors to this story. Myself & ScarletGirl (originally she was planning on her pen name being Scarlet Thunder but some mean face stole that name!) So if you notice a change in style, its that! We try to smooth it over!
The Doctor in Scrubs
Chapter one: We've got Scarlet fever!
It was an average day at Sacred Heart Hospital. Eliot was fussing with her eyebrows. Carla was checking the nurse schedule. JD and Turk were trying to teach Rowdy, their stuff dog, how to play basketball, and Doctor Cox was sitting in the break room with Bob Kelso, watching the news. A news program came on about a famous hospital in London that supposedly was zapped to the moon and back by a herd of space rhinos.
"Well how 'bout that, Bob." Doctor Cox scuffed, "A bunch of pathetic doctors with fancy accents fake a supernatural event to just cover up the fact they happen to suck at their jobs."
Bob shrugged, "I wouldn't say that. I happen to know they are a decent teaching hospital just like Sacred Heart. (The word decent caused Dr. Cox to laugh) And the publicity was great for the hospital. If I was still in charge, I might try the same thing."
"Well then we are lucky I am still in charge," Dr. Cox replied crossing his arms. Ted walked in, looking sweaty. "Sir, it's looking like we are going to be sued again. There is this patient, and I'm pretty sure he's blue now and he wasn't when he came in."
"Ted," Dr. Cox said, raising his eyebrows. "First don't call sir. Reserve that for this pompous ass that is Bob Kelso. And second, what do you mean you think he's blue?"
"Well I am not sure. Maybe he's more a violet? I'm not very good at judging colors. I think it has something to do with the fact that being around people I don't know makes me nervous so I tend not to look at them."
"Wells that's good, Ted because let me tell you they don't like looking at you either. Now show me this blue man." Dr. Cox remarked, leaving the room followed by the sweaty lawyer. They gathered into a small hospital room. "Dr. Dorian, tell me what's going on."
"Well, Dr. Cox," JD said in the most professional voice he could muster, "This man is blue." They both turned to the patient. An elderly British man, a Mr. Washington peered back at them through over sized glasses. "And let me just say, it's a love shade of blue too. Turk, doesn't he match my eyes?"
Turk nodded, "Hey Mr. Washington, I gotta song for you, I am blue da ba dee, da ba die!"
"Oh Dr. Cox thank God you're here." Carla crossed her arms, "these two idiots are useless. And normally I'd have Elliot take a look, but she's in private practice so it would cost the hospital money to ask her." Dr. Cox, nodded, and turned to look at Mr. Washington. He reached for his stethoscope. Pressing the device against the patience chest, Dr. Cox was suddenly shocked by a blue wave that came from the patient, throwing him backwards causing him to hitting the wall. The staff stared down at little old Mr. Washington, whose body was now rippling with electric waves. He let out a gurgling scream, "Call the doctor!" before bursting into flames.
"What- does he think we aren't competent enough to tell him he's on fire?" Kelso asked, face turning to his 'Dangerously Angry' one. "I didn't go to medical school for half my adult life to be told by some damn blue man that my skills assessing his problems aren't adequate!"
"I think there are more important matters at hand then your incompetence, Bob!" Carla shouted, running out of the room to grab a fire extinguisher from the hall. "Stand back!" she warned, reappearing in the doorway. Pulling the pin out, she aimed the hose at the hospital bed. A jet of foam shot out the end of the extinguisher, putting out any fire there was in the room.
"That's my wife!" Turk yelled, jumping up and down in happiness."You da man baby!"
"Doctor….. help…..," the blue man moaned from the bed.
"Oh God, he's still alive!" Carla said, rushing to the bedside. "Quick, JD, I need your help stabilizing this man!"
JD put on his serious face and got to the doctoring. Turk rushed out; the patient had third degree burns, and would need skin grafts soon. Dr. Cox leaned over Mr. Washington. He ran his hands through his hair, leaning his head on his arms
"Carla... He's gone." Carla looked up from cleaning the wounds,
"What? No-he can't be!" She looked over to the little old man and gasped. All the staff gasped. Slowly the man's body disintegrated into sand. Blue sand.
"Well I don't know what happened, but I am sure I'm going to be sued for it." Ted moped.
"I got a new Clorox product that could get those stains out beautifully," The Janitor said, appearing out of nowhere, surprising the staff. Everyone was a little on edge from the incident, and Janitor's surprises were not welcomed. He caused Ted to faint.
"Great, someone get Ted into a chair please?" Carla rolled her eyes.
"If I weren't married to Turk and JD, I'd be a little more concerned that this man just burst into flames and disintegrated into blue sand. But, with the stuffed dog in the TV room and the toilet on the roof, nothing seems out of place anymore."
"Well Turkleton needs made aware that the grafts are no longer needed, and I need a large coffee," Kelso said, stepping over Ted to leave the room. "Nobody call me if things get worse."
"So, should I grab a mop?" the Janitor asked, unfazed.
Carla turned towards the Janitor, "How could be so insensitive, a man just died... And then turned into... sand."
"Just doing my job. Plus I was thinking putting the sand in to a jar. It'd be all decorative-y and stuff."
Carla rolled her eyes as Elliot peeked in, "Hey whats everyone doing? Why is there sand, are you guys having a mini-beach party? That reminds me of one time in Fort Myers my brother Barry decided to write his name in the sand using the flavoring stuff they put in snow cones. long story short, the police don't like it when you steal from their favorite slushy stand. Although Barry did meet his current boyfriend there."
"Elliot," Carla said, crossing her arms, "That sand was a patient."
Elliot looked to the sand then back at her best friend, "Oh, that's kinda neat. Did the morgue like mix his ashes in dyed sand? I should do that. In, like, pink though. That shade of blue makes me a little bloaty."
Dr. Cox, who was boggled over this current situation closes his eyes and took a deep breath in and turned to Elliot. "First of all, Barbie, all shades of every color make you look bloaty. That is, of course, because you are slightly bloated today. And second, Barbie, the sand is not a result of some new hip and cool way to be dead, because frankly the dead are, well, dead and don't care how bloaty you look. What is lying in that hospital bed was a patient, who, somehow remarkably, turned into sand."
"You think I'm fat?" Elliot sniffed.
"You're fine, baby." Carla said patting her on the arms now, "What now Dr. Cox?" The man rubbed at the stubble on his chin.
"I've never seen anything like this before."
"I have," said Janitor, "In the room next-door."
Dr. Cox gripped the window, and closed his eyes "Then I know that to do. The hospital is in lock down."
"Oh my God, you can't put us into lockdown Dr. Cox! I have a date tonight!" Elliot whined. "And I have the perfect dress for it to. Its black, so I won't look bloaty."
"It's fine Elliot, I'm sure nothing is the matter." Carla reassured her friend. "Did I hear the word 'Lock down'?" Turk asked, popping back into the room.
"That's actually two words" JD answered. "And yes."
"Oh, that what I'm talking about! I can finally have that fort building contest in the On Call rooms! Oh and someone down the hall just turned into violet sand." He added as an afterthought.
"You didn't think to say that first?" Cox yelled, storming from the room. "Barbie, you're with me!" he motioned to JD over his shoulder.
After an hour or two, the hospital was set into lock down mode, in an attempt to settle the sand epidemic. For now six people in a variety of colors where in containment, while specialists were examining them. The staff of the hospital were examined, and all were found to lack the symptoms of the disease now demeaned 'Rainbow Fever' (An extremely high fever being the main symptom) and were now free to wander about. JD and Turk had been planning a lock down party since the last time they were forcibly confined to the hospital, and quickly acted on it.
"Okay, Todd you can't come in the fort of awesomeness-slash-ghetto fever if you're not wearing pants." JD was lying on his stomach, leaning his head in his hands. The On call room had become a fort with the help of several unused mattresses. The door was now a narrow tunnel in which someone had to crawl through in order to get in. JD was positioned in that hallway staring at the unfortunate sight of Todd in his underwear. "Well since I heard it was a sleep over, I wanted to be comfortable." The Todd replied.
"Put some clothes on!" the Janitor told Todd ad he approached the room. He turned to JD, "Let me in." "Why would I let you in? It's my fort of awesome!" "Slash Ghetto-Fever!" added Turk from inside the room. "
This, your pathetically named fort, would be a perfect place to hide in case of a zombie invasion. Zombies can't crawl."
JD laughed, "Zombies could just rip through the mattress."
"Last month I switched all the old mattresses with ones reinforced with steel. Oh, and the fabric is a new military fabric that is stronger than iron."
JD rubbed his back, "I was wondering why they were so uncomfortable."
"You're discomfort is just a bonus, now let me in."