stood up from the bed and grabbed my shirt and bra, I quickly put them on and glanced around for my panties and pants. I wasn't paying attention to what the dick on the bed was saying, I truly didn't care I got what I wanted, now I wanted to leave. I found the rest of my clothes and quickly put them on and pulled my long brown hair into a pony. I tied my shoes and turned to the door hoping that Charlie wasn't home so he wouldn't see that I was home really late. He never knew what I was up to and I didn't want him to find out anytime soon either. I hurried to my car and drove home, I glanced at the time and knew that Charlie wasn't going to be home, I was saved again. I parked in the driveway and rushed up to the door and pulled out my key jamming it in the lock turning the handle allowing the door to open up into safety.

I headed upstairs and grabbed a pair on pajamas heading out to the bathroom. I stripped and took my hair out I had major hours of homework ahead of me so I wasn't going to get much sleep. As long as I was still getting good grades my father didn't care what I was doing. I turned on the water and sighed, I hated myself some days but I knew I would get over it. I stepped in the shower and cleaned myself knowing that nothing I did would help my mind. I knew I was a slut but I was in it to make myself happy, occasionally I satisfy some guy but I would never see them like that again. I only had one friend, Alice, she was worried that I was being stupid but it wasn't my fault I couldn't find someone to stay with that please me physically and mentally. I shivered and shut off the water shaking myself off like a dog. I grabbed a towel and dried myself off and put on my clothes, I wasn't ready for school tomorrow, I had a huge test and I had assignments that were due in almost every class. I was completely screwed! I walked to my room and sat down pulling out homework and worked all throughout the night. I heard Charlie come home but he thought that I was asleep so he didn't bother checking up on me. I swear, one of these days I'm gonna be gone and he'll have no clue or mind to know or care.

I was working on math around three when my phone vibrated on the desk. I glanced at the picture to find Emmett's face smiling at me, I shivered and opened the tiny device. "Hey Emmett, what up?"

"It's nice to see that you're up," his voice sounded controlled and I could tell he was angry about something.

"Yeah, I'm just working on last minute work. Why did you call?"

He sighed and I knew I wasn't going to like what was coming next. "Alice called me wondering where you were."

"Did you tell her?"

"Yeah, she said that if I didn't try and stop you she was going to tell Rosalie that I'm cheating on her."

I sighed, Alice always got in the way, "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Tell her that you've changed and that you're not the same way you use to be."

I laughed quietly at that, "that's like someone trying to make you stop smoking."

"Shut up, it relaxes me!"

"I know, I know." I put away my finally finished math and brought out my history book, I had a seven page essay on something I couldn't even think of or remember. I again was screwed. I push the button on the tower to turn my computer to life. Emmett was rambling on about some project he had in Spanish. "Emmett, is there any other big news?"

He paused for a moment and spoke quietly like he was afraid that someone was going to hear, "well what I've heard is that we have a new kid in our school. From my understanding his name is Edward Cullen and his father is a surgeon and his mother is unemployed."

"What the hell made them move to a shitty place like Forks?" I started to type one of the seven pages ahead of me.

Emmett sighed again, "I guess maybe they wanted a small town."

"They should have picked a better place, here sucks."

"Not if you know the right people."

I scoffed, "and who exactly are the right people?"

"Our group, I mean come on we're awesome."

I laughed again, "Keep believing it buddy boy. So should we help this kid out and let him be part of our group?"

"Are you kidding Swan? He has to prove that he's worthy, just like everyone else."

I almost gagged on that one, just thinking about proving you were worthy to Emmett's group made you want to hurl. Yet, all of us had to go through it one time or another. "I feel sorry for the kid. Do you know what grade he's in?"

"Yep," He popped the P and I heard shuffling of papers. "It says here that he's a junior and at his last school which was in Chicago he scored the top of his class."

"I'm gonna take it he's too dorky to be in our group?"

"Yeah that's right, even in papers he doesn't make it."

I was already on the six page, I didn't think about what I was writing I was just…Writing. I deserved some reward for this, I could get what I wanted and get good grades. I was freaking fantastic! "Say, where do you get this type of private information about people anyway?"

Emmett chuckled, "the same way you get information from some people, dear Swan."

"You slept with a teacher to get it?"

"No I slept with someone who's close to a teacher and knows everything."

I finished my seven pages for History and printed them. I stuffed all my work into my school bag and shut down my computer. I was finished with all my homework and it was only three thirty, I moved to my bed and laid down closing my eyes. "Hey, Emmett, can we call it a night. I'm tired as hell and you still have work to do, not to mention we have tests to take tomorrow as well."

Emmett moaned and huffed, "Shit, I forgot all about the test, I'm so gonna fail!"

I laughed, "that makes two of us then."

I heard Emmett yawn and he spoke tiredly, "see you tomorrow Swan and make sure you bring my smokes, or else!"

"You know you never really didn't tell me what the or else part was."

Emmett mumbled something about a lost hat and the phone went dead, I figured his face hit the off key and I was alright with that. I turned it to silent and plugged it in so it would be charged tomorrow. I wrapped the blanket around me and curled into myself. I thought about my mother who was away with her new family, she was too busy to come and see me and she was having too much fun that it was useless to contact me. I was forgotten, even by my father that I live with. I thought back to how it was when my mother and father were still together and happy. I thought about how to make myself happy I was able to curl up with my dad while he told me stories about his childhood. As for now I had to go to some guys house and fuck him to relieve my stress and become somewhat happy. I was a fucking mess, I needed help!

I thought about how nice it would be to move somewhere new where no one knew me, I could start over fresh without people saying stuff like, 'I heard that Bella Swan was with Mike Newton last night' or 'oh, my god, Bella Swan is such a slut, she'll sleep with any guy even if he's taken.' I was tired of it. I made my mind wander to a nice place where I was happy and my life wasn't screwed up. I also thought about how I was going to try and pass the test for school. I was so screwed!

--

When I got up I changed into jeans and a green shirt. I figured my hair was a hopeless mess so I pulled it back. I looked at the clock to see that I got up a half an hour late so I only had twenty minutes to get to school. I slipped on my shoes and pulled my bag over my shoulder and ran down to my shitty Chevy truck. I threw my bag in the bed and hopped in putting the key in the ignition. I brought my old truck to life and sped off to school already knowing I was going to be okay but still I was worried that I wasn't going to get the smokes to Emmett before the day started.

When I arrived at school my group was around Emmett's perfect jeep, they were all laughing and joking. I notice that Alice was looking at her watch and when she glanced around the parking lot and saw me she headed over and pulled me straight out of the cab and held my against the side.

She didn't look mad, she looked pissed! "What the hell Bella!"

I just looked innocent and pretended that I didn't know what she was talking about. "What's up Alice?"

"Don't you what'd up Alice me! I know what you were doing this weekend!"

I smiled, "Oh, that, it was just some harmless fun Ally, lighten up."

She glared at me, "I will not lighten up, one of these times you're going to get yourself into trouble!"

"Have you ever thought that maybe that's what I'm going for?"

Alice crossed her arms over her chest and glared me down, I hated making her mad but I always seemed to make her mad at everything. She glanced at Emmett and turned back to me. "Ever since you started to hang out with his group you've changed, Bella. You used to be so sweet and kind now you just act stupid. One of these days you're going to get hurt and I won't be there to help you."

I made my eyes get huge and I looked sad, "But you're always supposed to be there, no matter what!"

"I know but someday I'll be off at camp or something and you'll screw up and be miserable."

"Oh no, I'll wait till you get back, don't worry."

Alice laughed at that. I know I make her mad a lot but I also know how to make her laugh. I now understood what made us become friends. She was lighthearted and easy to talk to when I messed up as for me I kept my heart nice and cold and made sure none of my feelings made it to my face. Alice brought out the best in me, we were like twin, we couldn't be separated no matter what.

Alice glanced at her watch again and looked up at me, "class starts in two minutes, I'll see you at lunch."

I nodded and headed off to English, I hated it but I could always fall asleep during that class no matter what and by the time it ended I still knew what I was supposed to do for the assignment, I was a genius. When I was half way there a boy with bronze hair bumped into me, I stopped and so did he. He was carrying a piece of paper and from what I could see it was a map around the school. This must have been Edward. Edward looked up and I gazed into his bright green eyes.

I held out me hand to him and warmly said, "Welcome to Forks High, you must be the new kid."

He smiled timidly and spoke softly, "I'm Edward, you are?"

"Isabella Swan, but you can call me Bella."

His smile seemed a little more genuine, "it's nice to meet you Bella, do you know where the English room is?"

I laughed a little, "I can take you there, that's my first class."

While we were heading down the to the building Principal Greene walked by and saw us, "Aw, Miss Swan, would you please show Mr. Cullen to all of his classes and help him with anything today?"

I shrugged, "Sure, I'm alright with that."

We headed to English just seconds before the bell rang, I sat down next to Emmett who was looking at me as if I betrayed him. He leaned toward me and I moved my face so my ear was to his mouth, "What the hell are you doing showing the new kid around?"

I turned to his and hissed, "he ran into me then I found out he was in this class so I told him I'd show him the way then Mr. Greene saw my and told me I had to help him the rest of the day."

I didn't know the teacher had walked over to our table but when he cleared his throat Emmett and I both jumped back and looked at him. He voice was gravelly, "Does there seem to be a problem here?"

I spoke first, "no sir, no problem."

"Good, now Emmett, I want you to move over to that empty desk over there so Mr. Cullen can sit over here."

Emmett stood and as he passed me I whispered, "After class, I'll give you you're smokes." He nodded and headed over to the empty desk in the front of the room while Edward headed to the seat next to me. I smiled and rested my chin on the table not paying attention to what the teacher was saying. I shut my eyes and fell asleep, I must have been slipping cause I suddenly felt an arm wrap around my waist and it was trying to make me sit up straight. I jerked awake and noticed that it was Edward's arm that was around me, I scooted far from him and remained awake for the rest of the period. When the bell rang I stood and moved my bag to my shoulder and looked at Edward.

"What's your next class?"

"Uh…Math."

I held out my hand for his schedule, when he gave it to me and saw that he was also doomed into trig. I felt a little sorry for him. We walked out and I saw that Emmett was waiting against the wall with his hands in his pockets. When he saw me he stood up straight and walked over to us.

"So," he hinted, I nodded and pulled and gift bag from my bag, it was the only way we could distribute the cigs without getting caught. "Thanks so much I owe you lots." He yelled as he ran down the halls with his goodies.

"Don't forget it either!" I called after him. Edward stared at me, "What?"

"What did you give that guy?"

I stared walking and headed to the math section, it was kind of weird how he had the exact same classes as me, it was a little creepy. "I gave him a present. Why?"

"What was in the present?"

I snorted, "you need to know why?"

He looked at me and stopped walking I kept going until he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. "You gave him drugs, didn't you?"

I pulled away from him, "god no, I'm not that stupid to do that!"

"Then what was it?"

I gazed into his green eyes and decided that I could probably trust him. "If I tell you will you rat me out or tell anyone?"

He held up his right hand as if he was making a scout's honor. "No, I swear not to tell."

I thought about it, "fine but if you do may Satin send you to the fiery depth of hell."

"Fine Satin can come visit me, I don't care! Tell me!"

I sighed, god he was so pushy, "I was giving him some cigs, he gives me money and I go buy them, it's no big deal."

"Can't he go buy his own?"

I laughed, "every time he tried he always got caught but his parents."

He stared at me for a minute, "what about your parents?"

I laughed without humor, "my father wouldn't care if I was dead on the ground he truly wouldn't."

Edward gazed at me and sighed, "some parents just don't care anymore."

I heard the bell ring telling me that we were late to class, "what the hell do you mean by that?"

"Well," he sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, "it just seems that parents don't care what their children are doing anymore, they just wanna make sure their having a good time in life and don't care if their kids are miserable."

"Look, my father isn't having the time of his life while I'm miserable. It's not his fault!"

Edward rocked on the balls of his feet and he tried the read me, "Then whose fault is it, Bella?"

"You wanna know who's at fault? It's my stupid mother's!" I back up so I was against a wall and slid down putting my chin on my knees. Edward stopped rocking and walked over and crouched down next to me.

"Why is it your mother's fault?"

I gazed at him and looked away. I sighed, "my mother was never really happy with my father, after she had me she became unhappy and started to slink away from the family. The only reason she was really involved was because of me. She faked everything, she told me that her and my father would be together forever but she just lied. When I was ten she broke away completely and lived down in Arizona for about six year, I spent a lot of time with her down there. Then she got remarried to this guy, Phil and now she has two new kids that she's preoccupied with. She never speaks to me and every time I call she's always busy. Charlie went into despair when she left and when I fully moved in he pretended to care a little.

"Now he's at this stage where he won't look at me or talk to me because I look like my mother too much and it hurts him. I'm the one making people miserable not other people making me miserable. I then got close to I guess you could call it the bad crowed. Emmett told me a way to make myself happy and I tried it and now I use it anytime I get. I'm like addicted to it. I'm so screwed."

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I glanced up to see Edward was still there and his knees must have gotten worn out cause he was sitting Indian style next to me. He opened his mouth to speak several time but nothing came out. I rested my head down and waited until I heard him whisper, "What did Emmett tell you to do to help ease the pain?"

I stiffened and turned to him not knowing what to say. I thought and decided, "I can't tell you.'

"Why?"

"Trust me when you hear, you'll think bad of me every time you ever hear my name. It's just best if I don't tell."

Edward's brows furrowed in disappointment. "I feel bad that you won't tell me."

I stared at him, "I kindda have to know you better before I tell you the whole story."

"But you've already told me most of it, why not the rest."

"I just need to trust you more before I tell the rest."

Edward smiled a crooked half smile and stood up and held out his hand to help me up. I grasped it and stood beside him. He picked up my bag and handed it to me, "I hope we can trust each other one day." He stuck out his hand like I had done to him this morning. "Friends?"

I thought about that and decided, what the hell, "friends."