Talk Show Glukk

Episode One – Mr. Sekto

*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! This is TheManFromMudos, and this is my new series, 'Talk Show Glukk'. So, when I was writing the latest chapter of 'Oddworld: Al's Oddysee', I had an idea. A Glukkon talk show host, interviewing familiar faces from all over Oddworld (well, Mudos). Then I decided to write a script for one of these interviews. The result is what you see below. 'Talk Show Glukk' will become a new series of short scripts. And, I'll be asking you, my readers, for suggestions on who should appear next on the show. So, sit back and enjoy. This is the first episode of 'Talk Show Glukk'. THANK YOU!*

(We are in a small studio. The audience is large and is centered around a desk and seats at centre-stage, with a large television screen between them. The audience begins to applaud, and in walks a Glukkon dressed in a navy blue suit. He boasts a brilliant cigar and large glasses. He walks to the centre of the stage and the applause reaches a climax.)

Glukkon: Thank you, thank you! Welcome, ladies and gentle-Glukks! I'm Philip Daxby, and this is 'Talk Show Glukk', the brand new show where I'll be talking with some of Mudos's most familiar faces. We'll be having guest appearances from the likes of Lulu the Glukkon, Crig the Slig, and Headley the Vykker!

(There is an uproar of applause from the audience.)

Daxby: I know, we've got lots in store for you all. But, for our first guest tonight, please put your hands together for... The owner of Sekto Springs Dam himself, it's Sekto!

(The audience applauds once more. Enter Sekto, an Oktigi clad in black clothing. He walks centre stage and is greeted by Daxby. He sits in the closest chair to the desk and assumes a comfortable position. Daxby moves to sit behind the desk. The audience becomes quite.)

Daxby: So, Mr. Sekto, eh? Welcome to the show, thanks for coming on.

Sekto: Thanks for inviting me, Daxby.

Daxby: Now, Sekto. Let me get right to the question everyone's thinking. Are you proud of what Sekto Springs Dam has done to the Mongo River?

Sekto: Proud? Of course I'm not proud. I've destroyed hundreds of habitats, bottlenecked the water flow, and reduced the amount of fishing in the whole of Western Mudos.

Daxby: And why aren't you proud of this?

Sekto: Didn't you hear what I said? Hundreds of habitats? I wanted to destroy thousands! Bottlenecked the water flow? I wanted to stop the water flow! And reduce the amount of fishing? Of course, I wanted to eliminate fishing in Western Mudos!

Daxby: Ah, I see. So, you don't believe that you've quite achieved your aims yet?

Sekto: Well, let's just say there's a long way to go, Daxby.

Daxby: I see. Well, here's a couple more questions for you, Sekto.

(The television screen between Daxby and Sekto flickers into life. Questions begin to appear on the screen. The first reads 'How much Moolah do you have?')

Daxby: Okay, Sekto. Let's start with this question. How much Moolah do you have?

Sekto: More than I know what to do with. I mean, just look at this!

(Sekto pulls out a thick, black wallet, bursting at the seems with Moolah. The audience breaks out into applause.)

Daxby: Fair enough. Okay, Question Number Two. Sekto, how many Steef heads do you own?

Sekto: Two-hundred and seven. Be two-hundred and eight once I catch this mysterious stranger that's been roaming the towns of Western Mudos.

Daxby: Yes, I understand you're a collector of Steef heads.

Sekto: Collector? I've practically endangered them!

(Sekto laughs and the audience follow suit.)

Daxby: Sounds like an interesting collection. Okay, final question, Sekto. The Oktigi are a member of the Octigi family. What sets the Oktigi aside from their evolutionary partners, us Glukkons?

Sekto: Well, we do have one thing going for us…

Daxby: Care to elaborate?

(There are murmurs of approval from the audience.)

Sekto: We've got arms!

(Sekto bursts into raucous laughter. Daxby reluctantly joins in, followed by the audience.)

Daxby: Well, thanks for coming on the show tonight, Sekto. You've been a pleasure to talk to. Ladies and gentle-Glukks, Mr. Sekto!

(Sekto stands and leaves. The audience cheer and Daxby gets up and moves to the centre of the stage.)

Daxby: Well, I'm afraid that's all we've got time for tonight, folks. This has been 'Talk Show Glukk', I've been Phillip Daxby, and I'll be back soon with another special guest. GOOD NIGHT!

(The audience burst into applause as Daxby leaves the stage. The curtain falls and the show ends.)

*So, everybody. What did you think? This has been 'Talk Show Glukk', there'll be more to come in the future, and remember, I'm taking suggestions for special guest appearances! So, if there's someone you'd like to see on the show, just let me know. THANK YOU!*