AUTHORS NOTE: This is just a silly little one shot based on the prompt lines "By the way, I love you" "Shut up" and it created this silly little OOC/AU/Crack!fic that is pretty much just original fiction!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters.
[Booze, Bar Fights and Love Admissions]
"Why do we even have to go?" Cobb complained that Saturday evening as he stared at his wardrobe, his hands on his hips as he tried to work out what he was going to wear. That morning, Helen, one of their female room mates, had invited them out this evening to the opening of a bar. She'd been sparse on the details, as always, but had informed them that it was casual dress and the more rock the better. This had been aimed at Eames who, for breakfast, had been sat at the kitchen table in a pair of baby blue boxers and an off pink paisley shirt.
"Because her Uncle-Vincent-but-call-me-Vinnie is opening a new bar and she mentioned something about it being free drink all night," and he didn't want to mention that it was thanks to Helen's Uncle-Vincent-but-call-me-Vinnie that their alcohol cupboard was never empty and they knew about all the hip parties happening every weekend. "And the two girls think it's time we went out as a gang again. Michelle and yourself have been stressing about exams so she thought this would chill you out."
"Helen and yourself should also have been stressing about exams," Cobb pointed out as he reached into the wardrobe and pulled out a Metallica tee shirt and pulled it on over the tight black jeans that he was already wearing. He knew that he was preaching was landing on deaf ears because both of them were exactly the same. They were completely lazy but ended up with amazing grades at the end without even trying. Once upon a time, it had irked Cobb but he'd eventually just got used to it because after making Eames study once, he didn't like how psychotic the man became.
Ushering the other man out of his room, they stepped into the living room where the two female flatmates were sat at the kitchen table with shot glasses in front of them and a bottle of Jack Daniels beside them. At the sound of someone walking in, they looked up and smiled. "May I ask how come it takes you two ages to get ready while us two girls of the flat can be ready quickly?" Michelle, the youngest of the two girls, asked as she looked over at them, her head cocked to the side as she studied them.
"Not everyone can be as naturally beautiful as you two," Eames charmed as he moved to sit beside Helen, his arm resting along the back of her chair as he stole her empty shot glass and filled it with the brown liquid that they'd been drinking and taking a shot. They'd been living together for three years now so something as simple as sharing a glass went unnoticed.
"Flattery, darling, will get you nowhere." Helen pointed out as she watched him drink the shot. "You both look wonderful." She said with a smile as she thought she'd never seen either of them look so casual to go out. They were usually the dress pant and tucked in shirt type but today both of them were wearing dark jeans along with converse and a band tee shirt.
"We could say the same about you," Cobb mumbled and the two girls smiled. Despite having lived together for said amount of time, Cobb still flustered whenever it came to complimenting the two females of the flat. The flattery always came from Eames and he couldn't help but constantly gush over how beautiful they were whenever they went out. Tonight, he noticed, was no exception.
Helen was a much bigger girl but she never allowed that to stop her. Tonight she wore a pair of black tights that were decorated with small five point stars along with a knee-length black vest top which on top of that, she wore an off the shoulder white tee shirt that said "cool rocker" on it, above and below a picture of a penguin. The penguin had a pink mohawk with a studded dog collar around it's neck and a tattoo just below it's neck while clutching onto a guitar. On her feet, she wore a pair of army boots that she'd stolen from Eames back in first year and had never got round to giving him back but he wouldn't complain, they suited her better than they had he. To finish off the look, her waist length ginger hair was tousled into loose curls. Her make-up was minimal but the combination of eye-liner and mascara made her grey eyes look more smoky.
Michelle, in contrast to Helen, was dressed more like the boys. She was wearing a pair of indigo skinny jeans, a rolling stones tee shirt and a pair of bright red converse. The rolling stones tee shirt was slightly baggy but still managed to hug every single feminine curve she possessed making the outfit look more female. The look was finished off with the fitted leather jacket Cobb had bought her for her last birthday. Her short, dyed red hair was gelled into spikes angling more towards the right giving her a rock chick look. Michelle wore no make-up and this, in Eames' opinion, was her most striking feature because her face was naturally beautiful.
"Thanks Dom," Michelle said reaching out and squeezing his shoulder before smiling. "I'm so excited to see Uncle Vinnie's new place!"
"Remember just to call him Vinnie tonight," Helen warned causing the other three to chuckle at how distressed Vinnie got whenever one of the four of them called him Uncle. Picking at her black nail varnish, she turned to look at the two boys. "I have a slight confession that I think I should state here rather than shock you when we arrive at the bar."
Without even giving her chance to talk, Eames rolled his eyes. "Uncle Vinnie has finally opened the alternative bar, hasn't he?" The two girls, even if the boys didn't want to admit it, had noticed that the boys been toying with each other's since their first year together but neither of them were prepared to say anything. Eames, being too open, had often spoke about how he believed love didn't depend on a person's gender, it was completely about that person which both girls had agreed with but Cobb always remained quiet during those kind of conversations. "It'll be fun," Eames clarified with a smile as he squeezed Helen's shoulder. "Are we ready to go?"
"You sure you're okay to go?" Michelle asked, the question more aimed at Cobb rather than Eames, and the older man just chuckled as he nodded his head. The other three all just cheered before standing up and making their way to the door.
The bar was huge and could have been a valuable space for a nightclub, if that's what Uncle Vinnie was into, but he'd most definitely made it into a world class bar. In one section, there was the bar and several tables along with a wall filled with booths. In another section, there was a games room that was filled with two pool tables, a darts board and even several tables set aside for card games – but strictly no gambling rules had been put down even though everyone knew it would happen. The finally, there was space set aside of a DJ booth and a dance floor.
When they arrived, the place was already half full but that didn't stop Uncle Vinnie from waving them to the bar where he leant over to press a kiss to both the girls cheeks and shook hands with the men. "I'm sure my girls are wanting some girly cocktails?" He teased with a big grin.
"Piss off," Michelle joked lightly while Helen laughed and ordered four beers as well as four shots of whatever he thought was the best. Eames and Cobb just chuckled as they stood to the side of the two girls allowing them to banter with Uncle Vinnie while checking out the bar. As four shots ended up in front of them, they clinked their glasses against each others before downing the shot. No one decided to comment on how Eames was standing extremely close to Cobb, his back half resting against Cobb's chest while Cobb's hand instinctively clutched onto the other man's waist.
"Now that was disgusting," Eames said wrinkling his nose at the taste that was still tickling his throat causing Cobb to chuckle in his ear as he reached out and handed the other man in a beer that was resting on the bar. Tilting his head to smile at Cobb, he took a drink of the beer and turned to the two girls. "So what are we wanting to do?"
"Dance!" Helen cried out with a smile, her beer already nearly finished as her eyes turned to scout the dance floor.
"Pool?" Michelle asked, her gaze on Cobb because he was the only one out of the four of them apart from Michelle that could play pool well.
Cobb nodded his head before turning to look at Eames, "and are you going to see if there's a card game you can join?"
"Sunshine, you know me so well." He teased causing the other three to chuckle as they shook their heads, the warning of not blowing his rent on the tip of their tongues but they decided not to say it out loud because once you told him not to do something, he tended to do it. Thankfully, card games was one of the many things Eames was extremely good at.
An hour had past since they'd separated. Michelle and Cobb were in the middle of a self created pool tournament between two boys, slightly older than them. One was solely focused on the game of pool whereas the other one was solely focused on trying to impress Michelle. Cobb, didn't mind either way, because with Michelle keeping the other one distracted and through their amazing skills, they were winning the tournament. Helen had found a dancing partner in the form of a shorter Gothic girl with an excessive amount of piercings and ink which they all knew was Helen's weakness despite her innocent look. Eames, after winning a couple of hundred, was now propping up the bar and keeping Uncle Vinnie company and drinking as much of the free booze as he could.
"What's a handsome man like you doing sat here by yourself?" A tall blonde guy asked as he moved to sit on the bar stool next to Eames. The line was lame but the guy was attractive so Eames couldn't help but smile at him as he motioned towards Uncle Vinnie and winked at him causing Uncle Vinnie to shake his head as he moved away to serve someone else.
"I'm just sat talking to the handsome bar man that's supplying me with beer," he said holding up the bottle before stealing a swig. "I only came for the beer," he said with a little more force so that the guy would get a hint but this didn't seem to work. Eames, throughout all his years, had known that he was the type to pull the strangers in a bar. It was usually leggy blondes that wouldn't remember their own names in the morning let alone his but sometimes it was the men too. He didn't mind but it had been a long time since he wanted a night of anonymous sex. His eyes had been on a bigger target for a long time.
"That's a shame." The guy commented as he reached out and ran his fingertips up Eames' arm. "I think we could be something wonderful." The tone was dripping with lust and desire causing Eames to force a grin when really he wanted to roll his eyes at the cliché.
"Someone's hitting on your guy," Michelle commented as she chalked her cue, her eyes narrowed as she studied the guy hitting on Eames at the bar, "and it doesn't seem to be enjoying it." She looked over to Cobb and smirked as she watched his eyes narrow, the jealousy obvious but she decided not to comment as she rested the cue down on the table due to their game being finished. He didn't even have time to comment that Eames wasn't his guy before she was asking, "What does a girl need to do around here to get a handsome guy to get her a beer?" And the guy that had been focusing on her all night immediately moved away to the bar, his arms wrapped around her shoulders.
Cobb shook his head but didn't comment as he moved towards his best friend and wrapped an arm around the man's waist, pulling him close so that he was leaning against Cobb's broad chest. "Hey baby, did you miss me while I was gone?" Cobb asked as he pressed a kiss to Eames' neck before allowing the small kisses to slowly move up to his jawline, his eyes remaining on Eames even though he wanted to turn towards the guy and glare at him so he'd back off.
Lacing his fingers through those that rested on his stomach, Eames smiled. "I had fine company in Nathaniel here," he said introducing the man across from them, "but I was starting to feel a little bit jealous of Michelle. I'm glad you're back," he whispered as he tilted his head to the side and caught Cobb's lips with his. Cobb couldn't help but smile into the kiss. It was ironic that their first kiss would be a façade just so that the creep trying to hit on Eames would back off and because Eames was taking all he could from the situation.
Breaking off the kiss, Cobb turned to look at Nathaniel. "Hello Nathan, was it?" He said even though he'd heard quite clearly what the man's name was. "I'm Dominic, Daniel's boyfriend." Cobb was shocked at how sincere he sounded as he said that lie out loud. "I must thank you for keeping him company while I was away playing pool. He sure hates to be alone." He pointed out, his tone dripping with affection as he looked down at Eames with the most loving gesture he could muster.
"Sorry but Blondie," Nathaniel said standing up and both men was aware what was probably going to happen, "didn't mention that he had a boyfriend while we were chatting so I think you're lying to me..." Cobb's grip on Eames unintentionally tightened as he straightened up, his eyes now dark with anger.
"Mate, just walk away. It'll be easier that way." Cobb tried to warn knowing that Helen would be seriously pissed if they started a fight in her Uncle's bar.
"Easier for who?" The man growled before a punch was swung out of nowhere and landed on Cobb's jaw causing him to fly backwards, his grip on Eames causing Eames to fall off the stool and land on the floor on top of Cobb. Cobb grunted at the force, aware that his chest would now be bruised tomorrow morning but he didn't need time to recover. Once Eames was up on his feet, Cobb was close behind him and Cobb had swung a punch back at Nathaniel, catching the guy's jaw. What they thought would be a one-on-one fight, ended up involving several of Nathaniel's friends now attacking both Eames and Cobb while a crowd gathered around them as if they were at a boxing match.
From the dance floor, Helen broke away from the girl she'd been dancing with at the sound of cheering and saw her two boys fighting. Closing her eyes, she sighed as she mumbled "every damned time," before excusing herself and pushing her way through the crowd, not surprised to see Michelle doing the same thing, and it wasn't long before they were in the middle pushing the men away from their boys even if it did mean they ended up with their own battle wounds. "Back off," she warned them all eventually before turning to look at both Eames and Cobb. "So how about one night we go out and you guys don't get into a fight?" The two of them pouted like small children being scolded by their mother.
"He started it!" They both commented pointing at the guy that was now lying on the floor and she just rolled her eyes as she pointed towards the door silently gesturing that they were leaving as her other hand waved bye at her Uncle Vinnie as she realised that she'd have to phone him tomorrow and apologise for their behaviour. "We love you," they both chorused as they wrapped their arms around the girls and together they walked back to their flat.
Once they got back home, Cobb was lying in his bed with his head back as he massaged his nose. "I think that bastard actually broke my nose," he commented lightly as he tried to think how his parents would react when he went home the next weekend with two black eyes and a nose twice it's original size. They'd immediately know that Eames had something to do with it. They always did. Eames moved back into the room from the bathroom holding a cloth filled with ice cubes and smiled at the man.
"I'm sure once we put some ice on it," he said moving over to the bed and straddling the man's hips without even asking permission causing Cobb to glare at him the best he could as he kept his head back, "it'll be fine." And without warning, Eames moved Cobb's hand and pressed the ice against the nose causing the latter man to wince. "Sorry." He chuckled. "Do you think the girls will ever forgive us?"
"Well Michelle has got a hand print bruise on her arm from where someone grabbed her and Helen has a split lip," Cobb pursed his lips as he tried to calculate how long they would be giving the two boys silent treatment. "Helen will be making us breakfast in the morning so don't worry about missing your pancakes." Eames just chuckled. Every Sunday for three years Helen had made them all pancakes on a Sunday morning and Eames actually went into withdrawal symptoms whenever she went home for a week or two. "Uncle Vinnie, however, may break our legs."
"Uncle Vinnie, as much as you'd like to think otherwise, isn't a gangster." Eames pointed out as he shook his head. Despite the love Uncle Vinnie felt for all of them, Cobb would always be weary around the man. "By the way, Cobb," Eames whispered causing Cobb to lift his head slightly so that he could look at his friend, "I love you."
Cobb just rolled his eyes and rested his head back down. "Shut up." The pain pulsing around his head wasn't leaving him in the mood for one of Eames' tasteless jokes.
"No," Eames said crawling up Cobb's body so that he was looking into the man's eyes without Cobb having to move his head again. "I mean it, Cobb. I love you and I know you feel the same or you wouldn't have acted the way you did back in the bar when Nathaniel was hitting on me." Eames could still remember how tight and possessive Cobb's grip had been on his waist as well as how bruising the kiss had been. Eames, hoping the whole time it had been more than an act, had wanted more and believed Cobb was lucky that Eames hadn't dragged him to the bathrooms there and then!
"It was an act, Eames..." the sentence was ended by Eames taking hold of Cobb's face in his hands before taking hold of Cobb's lower lip in between his, his hand running through his hair before he started to kiss him properly. Cobb's hands went out and just when Eames thought Cobb was going to push him away, his hands ended up on his hips and was pulling him in nearer as Cobb responded to the kiss just as hungrily. Breaking off for air, Eames pressed a haste kiss against the man's lips before nipping his way up the man's jaw so that he reached his ear.
"I love you," he repeated and couldn't help but smile, "and I know you love me." He teased before pulling back and returning to serious mode as he lifted the make shift ice pack from the man's nose. "I don't think it's broken but it will be unsightly for a while," he winced knowing that Cobb was going home next weekend and Cobb's parents would give him another lecture about spending too much time with him.
"Will you still love me?" Cobb teased as he snaked his arms around Eames' waist again causing Eames' eyes to narrow in a glare.
"You're such a jerk."
"A jerk that loves you though," Cobb responded with a smile causing Eames to smile above him as he reached in and pressed a kiss to the man's lips but that was as far as it got before they heard cheers erupt from outside Cobb's door. Cobb rolled his eyes. "Why do I think they set this up?" Eames just chuckled as he climbed off Cobb's lap and moved to the door, welcoming the girls in and knew, that despite their injuries, the four of them would be okay and there would be plenty of more fights to come – especially with Eames and Cobb now dating.