Gloria Mendoza was already dressed when the lights in the dorm turned on. The blissful quiet was immediately replaced by the sound of several inmates getting ready to begin another day in prison. Sitting atop her bunk with Red's crocheted blanket around her shoulders, Gloria rubbed her bleary eyes and decided to go for a walk now that her roommates were awake. The last thing she felt like doing was entering into a monotonous conversation about things, and with people, who were no longer relevant to her.
What was just another day wasted for the other prisoners of Litchfield, was the day that Gloria had been anticipating with desperate longing for the past eight years of her life. It was her release day, and she was so ready to walk out those doors and never look back. Gloria didn't care whether the new head cook in the kitchen was a suitable replacement or about any of the other issues that cropped up during a typical day in prison. Everything that had mattered and that had been necessary for her survival in this place was suddenly of no consequence. Accepting that realization made Gloria feel as liberated as if they had already discharged her.
As she walked out the door into the wonderfully vacant yard, so early in the morning it still was, Gloria peeled an orange she had smuggled out of the kitchen the night before. She enjoyed the sweetness of it igniting her taste buds as her mind whirled with the thoughts of everything that the promise of today would soon bring. If she hadn't been feeling so happy, perhaps she would have paid more attention to the nervous knot in her stomach. She wasn't in denial about the challenges awaiting her on the outside, it was just that there were so many better things to think about right now. Red would be arriving to pick her up very soon, she'd be able to kiss her sons before they went to sleep tonight, and she was also very excited to just have a fresh cigarette. Maybe it was going to be hard, but Gloria still felt like she was coming home to a pretty good life.
Lately, Red seemed to have decided to take a reprieve from the tension that had been steadily building between them for weeks. Ever since Gloria had informed her that she was going to move in with Lourdes when she got released, things hadn't been quite right. It had been a relief for Gloria that their conversations over the phone lately had recommenced exuding the same warmth that she had come to depend on. The excitement of her homecoming temporarily overshadowed the more difficult components of their situation. She understood that Red was disappointed, just as she was, but as a mother she believed she was acting in her sons' best interests. Especially after Red had stood Benny up for his school event.
The only factor that stopped Gloria from feeling too angry was Red's obvious regret for her actions. Still, she hated that her son had been let down again and she was disappointed for all of them. It had been hard sitting in prison while she knew that Red and her boys were out in the world having fun and spending time together. It had amazed her that Red had succeeded in winning Benny's trust in the first place and she had loved how much of a family they had become, as though they were always meant to be that way.
Gloria had really been looking forward to being a part of that at last, but now everything had blown apart. Benny had withdrawn into himself and barely spoke. He still drove up with Red and Julio to visit his mom on the weekends, but there was obvious disengagement between them. Benny wasn't rude, he just was cold and untrusting. He refused to talk about Red or admit that she had hurt his feelings when Gloria had asked him about it over the phone. He just seemed to want to pretend that it had never happened, and he tolerated Red's presence but had emotionally disconnected from her in every way.
Red's response had been to make herself scarce. She still drove Benny, along with Julio, to visit Gloria every week but she often excused herself from the visitation room half-way through. She'd go wait in the car so that the mother and sons could be alone. It broke Gloria's heart and she didn't know exactly how to approach the situation. Benny could be stubborn on a good day, and when he was feeling rejected or betrayed it would be almost impossible to get him to let it go.
Without really thinking about it, Gloria was making her way towards the garden that Red had once tended with such care. She ran her fingers mindlessly along the fence that surrounded it, as thoughts of all the wonderful hours they had spent out here together flooded her mind. Back when they had been at Litchfield, the garden had given them some semblance of privacy. The kitchen had been where they had gotten to know one another, but the garden had given them the space to temporarily forget about everything but each other.
"Are you taking a walk through the place one last time to make sure you won't forget?" a gruff voice interrupted her thoughts. Gloria looked up to spy Frieda walking out of the greenhouse.
"Hardly," Gloria scoffed as she walked closer to the older woman, "if I wake up tomorrow and can't remember anything about this place, I'll be a very happy lady."
"I think you'll be a happy lady either way," Freida told her, "you're free."
"Almost," Gloria replied. She crossed her arms across her chest and gently kicked the garden fence.
"To be honest, I'm a little surprised to see you out here all by yourself." Frieda commented, "don't you need to say goodbye to people and pack things before they call you?"
"Well, all my people are on the outside waiting for me," Gloria replied, "and I'm hiding from everybody else. I don't want any fuss. I just want to get out of here as fast as I can."
"Can't find fault with that," Frieda chuckled, "and the garden is a pretty good spot if you're looking for some time to yourself."
A mischievous smile played on Gloria's lips.
"It certainly is," she replied. Frieda shook her head in puzzlement and then pulled a pair of dirty gardening gloves out of her sweater pockets and slid them over her hands.
"So, what are you working on today?" Gloria asked conversationally.
"I'm going to work on the roses," Frieda replied.
"Red planted those ones," Gloria said quietly, her eyes focused upon the deep red petals of one.
"I suppose she did," Frieda replied, "how is she doing, anyway?"
"She's fine," Gloria said softly, "she's picking me up today."
"How nice," said Frieda, as she walked over to the roses and knelt down in the rich soil. Gloria considered leaving Frieda to her task and continuing on her solitary walk, but decided she'd prefer a little company right now. She stepped inside the garden and walked over to admire the roses that were so beautifully maintained.
"I never had much of a green thumb," she said, "the school would always send my kids home with a seed in a cup of soil for Mother's Day. Sometimes we'd get a stem to sprout but it never turned into a flower."
She smiled as she stroked the petals with a gentle finger, "now, I could tell you at least five different ways this flower could be used for healing purposes."
"Are you a naturopath?" asked Frieda.
"My aunt is a Santeria," Gloria replied, "she taught me everything I know."
"Well, I don't begin to understand what a 'Santeria' is supposed to be," Frieda replied, "but I can definitely get behind knowing how to use nature to benefit yourself. My father taught me to be a survivalist. Most people can't look past how pretty a flower is. They wouldn't know how to use it."
"Sometimes it being pretty is enough, though," Gloria replied.
"Here," Frieda said, holding out the pair of scissors she was using.
"What?" blinked Gloria.
"The way you're admiring that flower so much you may as well take it with you," Frieda told her, "consider it a going away present."
"Alright," Gloria shrugged, accepting the scissors and cutting the single red rose free. She brought it to her nose and inhaled the flowery scent, which helped her relax.
"Thank you," she murmured.
"You're welcome," Frieda replied simply.
"Do you want some help with anything?" Gloria asked a moment later as she watched Frieda bustling about the garden silently.
"About to walk out of this place and now you decide you'd like to join the gardening club?" Frieda asked.
"Well, I just could use something to do to make the time go a little quicker," Gloria admitted, "I'm getting antsy."
"Are you nervous?" asked Frieda.
"Not as much as I should be," Gloria replied. "I have two teenage sons to go home to, and the youngest in particular can be quite the handful. But, mainly I'm just excited."
"I think you'll be fine," Frieda replied, "you're still young enough that it won't be too big of a culture shock. Me? I don't think I'd know what to do with myself out there."
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about you," Gloria told her, "you're a born survivor. Tougher than anyone else in here."
Frieda scoffed but looked pleased at the compliment.
"Is there ever a chance?" Gloria asked hesitantly.
"Chance of what?" asked Frieda.
"Of you getting out," Gloria clarified, "you've got good behaviour."
"And five murder convictions," Frieda replied, "at least, I think it is five. I can't remember if I got caught for that one." She frowned and held out her gloved hand as she used her fingers to count. Gloria almost could have laughed at the absurdity of having trouble keeping track of every person you had killed and been prosecuted for.
"Four, five, doesn't matter," Frieda shrugged good-humouredly, "I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm sorry to here that," said Gloria, scratching at one of the roses thorns with her finger nail.
"Doesn't matter," said Frieda, "I don't have kids out there or anybody waiting for me. I'm probably better off in here. I'm content."
"Mendoza, report to processing," a voice called over the loudspeaker.
"I've got to go," Gloria said.
"Hurry, before you piss them off," Frieda smiled sadly, "get out of here."
"I'll write you," Gloria said, not knowing if what she said was true. She just felt terrible realizing that Frieda would never get to go home. Litchfield was the only life she had.
"Good luck," Frieda said.
"Thanks for the rose," Gloria said, turning on her heel and hurrying back towards the building as quickly as she could.
She walked briskly as she still needed to grab the small bag of belongings that she was planning to take with her. Mainly just photographs, letters from Lourdes, letters from Red, and things her boys had sent her over the years. Most of them were dated for the first few years of her incarceration when they had been little boys. Everything else was staying behind. She had donated all of the books to the library and given most of her belongings to friends in her dorm.
As Gloria reached her bed, her fingers clasped around Red's old blanket and she squeezed it to herself while she questioned whether or not to take it. With her other hand, she picked up her bag and turned to exit the dorm. She paused midway down the aisle and dropped the blanket onto the vacant bunk of one of the newcomers to Spanish Harlem. It was a younger girl named Martina, who had started working in the kitchen. Gloria had said goodbye to her, and everybody else she had associated with, the night before. She didn't really feel like seeing anybody right now. Talking to them would only make her feel even more guilty about getting released when they, like Frieda, had to stay behind. It wasn't her fault, but Gloria felt bad about it nonetheless.
"Your last day and we still can't even get a smile out of you?" Caputo called as he passed her in the hallway, carrying a mug of coffee. Gloria was waiting impatiently in the hall for a guard to begin processing her out. She had expected to be reprimanded for taking too long to get there, but they hadn't been ready for her anyway.
"There's nobody in here I feel like smiling at," Gloria scoffed, "I think I'll save it."
"Good luck, Mendoza," Caputo said kindly, halting in his step for a moment as he addressed her, "I hope you have a good life. You'll be missed."
"Thank you," Gloria nodded, but didn't really know what else to say.
"Take care," Caputo said awkwardly, before continuing his trek down the hallway.
Gloria waited another minute for a guard to call her in for discharging. She signed all of the paperwork and followed all their instructions precisely and impatiently. She was just so eager to be done and out of this place. The guards had gone through her belongings to approve what was being taken out and had issued her some jeans, a gray t-shirt, and sneakers to wear. The shoes fit, but the clothes were much too large for her and her figure was completely hidden.
Gloria had not taken more than two steps out of the building when she was engulfed in a strong embrace. The bag she had been carrying dropped to the ground as Gloria reciprocated the hug, pulling her as close as she could, while angling her head as she buried her face in Red's hair. After approximately thirty seconds, the limit imposed upon hugs in the visitation room, Gloria instinctively began to pull away.
"You don't have to stop," Red said huskily, "we don't ever have to stop." She pulled Gloria closer once again. Gloria's legs were shaky with anxious emotion and she let out an involuntary giggle before bestowing a kiss high on Red's cheekbone.
"I forgot," Gloria whispered, and Red could detect the smile that had been saved just for her. Gloria began trailing kisses down Red's cheek slowly until she finally reached her mouth. Red's lips automatically parted and Gloria ran her tongue across the inside of her bottom lip gently until she got the urge to friskily bite down. She giggled as she released her, only to meet her lips strongly once again. Swaying on the spot, Gloria wrapped her arms around Red's neck and leaned even closer into the kiss.
"I love you," Gloria said breathlessly, pulling back.
"I love you, too," Red said quietly, smiling as she ran her thumb back and forth against Gloria's warm cheek.
"Let's get you in the car, hmm?" Red murmured, "I want to take you far away from here."