Thanks to my dearest friend Heather for her big help with this ;o)
Elena closed her hand around the doorknob of the Salvatore boarding house. She hesitated for a brief moment before pushing open the door. She wasn't sure what she was doing there. Her mind just screamed out that something had to be done. Even though Damon hadn't been exactly welcoming the night before, practically throwing her out of the house.
Go home. There's been enough doom, gloom and personal growth for one night.
When she had held him in her arms and hugged him, he hadn't even moved. That's when she knew something was wrong. It reminded her of that moment Damon found out Katherine wasn't in the tomb after all. So she decided to come back, against her better judgment. Because apparently, she cared about him a lot more than she thought.
That thought was so terrifying that she almost turned around. But no, she had come all this way. Yes, she cared about him, but only as a friend. There wasn't anything wrong about coming to see if he was okay. Isn't that what friends do for each other ?
She entered the foyer. Everything was quiet. The only sound came from her footsteps on the floorboards. She looked for some sign of movement. Elena knew Stefan wouldn't be there since he was helping Caroline with another lesson. He was still guiding her through her newfound abilities.
Elena walked into the library, where a fire was burning, illuminating the darkened room. Damon was alone, sitting on the leather couch, with a glass of brandy pressed on his forehead.
She folded her arms across her chest and watched him with a sinking feeling in her stomach. He may have fooled everyone else with his 'I knew her for like five minutes, I'm not upset' speech, but he didn't fooled her. Sometimes Elena thought she was the only one who really saw what's going on behind those aquamarine eyes. Inside it caused her pain because deep down that meant everybody else, including Stefan, didn't want to see beyond that facade. If they cared enough to dig a little further and try to have some faith, that maybe Damon has changed. That he's not the same selfish person she first met, at least not anymore.
Well, she does want to try . But only as a friend. Of course.
"What are you doing here, Elena?"
She was startled by his words, having realized that she was already standing there for a few minutes, just watching him. Though his eyes were closed, he felt her presence there the entire time. She opened her mouth, wanting to ask him if he was ok, but the question sounded so stupid in her head. Instead, she told him what was really in her heart.
"I want you to let me in."
Her statement got his attention and Damon opened his eyes to look at her. No matter how long she had known him, she was never prepared for that striking Nordic blue color.
He took a sip before leaning forward to put the glass on the table.
"I'm fine. Didn't we already have this conversation last night?"
He scowled at her, making a big show of his exasperation. She moved closer to the couch and settled into the seat next to him, not in the least discouraged. Quite the contrary actually.
"I know what you told me last night, and I don't believe you. I don't care that you're not human and therefore not supposed to be upset. But I can see that you ARE."
She searched for his gaze but he stubbornly avoided hers. His voice was full of contained anger when he finally answered her.
"What do you want me to say? That I hurt? Ok, I do. Feel better now? So you can go back to your precious Stefan and report back our conversation, like the good girlfriend you are."
At his words, she started to feel the anger rise up and a need to defend herself.
"First, Stefan doesn't know I'm here. I came here because we're friends, although I really wonder why when you act like such a jerk."
She made a move to get up, but he reached his hand out to her arm, stopping her.
"Sorry", Damon mumbled, but still did not look her way. Elena had no intention of leaving but she choose her next words very carefully.
"I'm not here to force anything out of you, Damon. I'm not...I'm not even sure why I came, to be perfectly honest. But that look on your face last night, I've seen it before and it almost broke you. I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm here. Even if you don't want me to be, I'm here."
On an impulse, she placed her hand on his cheek, feeling that words were not enough, that nothing she said had penetrated his brain.
That's when his eyes met hers.
Elena was overwhelmed by what she saw next. It only took a few seconds to witness the vulnerability, the passion, the pain, the betrayal and the love. Her heart broke in a million pieces to think that he had to live with those feelings every hour, every day, for more than a century. She wished she could do something – anything – to erase all the torment boiling inside, torment that no one had a clue about. Except her, now.
The moment had passed, and his gaze turned away. Elena could almost feel the physical loss inside her and wondered if Damon regretted opening up to her. He had honored her request, even if it lasted for a brief instant. He let her in and exposed that vulnerable side of him. For Damon, it was a moment of weakness that he would never let happen again.
Still the connection was not lost, as he took the hand that rested on his cheek in his own. He brought it to his mouth and pressed his lips to Elena's palm, grazing her skin with a reverend kiss. Her hand felt soft to the touch and hinted with the slightest trace of perfume.
Just at that moment, Elena realized that whatever reason she was there for, if she thought it was just friendship, she was seriously kidding herself.
"Now go. Please."
His voice was thick and unsteady. Holding back tears, she got up, respecting his wish to be alone. Elena knew as well as he did that dwelling on the moment they just shared would be unwise.
Before leaving, she leaned over to him and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Her lips lingered a bit longer than they should have.
Damon was left feeling confused about Elena's behavior. God knows he didn't need anyone's charity and purposely kept his distance from her. After his conversation with her about what truly happened with Jeremy, he knew he would never have Elena's trust again. He would never be worthy of having her love, worthy of her choosing him over Stefan. No misguided notions about where Elena's true destiny was united with.
And then this happened.
He suddenly couldn't help but have all those damn feelings flooding back in, and he hated it with a fiery vengance. He knew that confessing those feelings never ended well, at least for him. Especially that one emotion, one that was more powerful than the others : Hope.
That hope suddenly put a genuine smile on his face, one that nobody had seen in a very long time.
Maybe, just maybe, he hadn't lost her forever after all.