Just like to add that I am no way affiliated with Rowling, Harry Potter, or Gilderoy Lockhart. This is just fun stuff, no money is involved. Geeze, i'm a bored college student is all ;) ~Mal
THE MAGICAL ME
By Gilderoy Lockhart
Order of Merlin Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile Award
INTRODUCTION
How delighted and humbled I am to see that a reader such as yourself has chosen to read my autobiography. First off I must point out the fact that my life has certainly been a raucous romp through the Dark Arts for I have seen things that no Wizard, Witch or Muggle could dare imagine. I must say the events that have taken place in my life and recorded here should not be replicated (kids don't try this at home) and I must also point out that I am a professional in the field of Dark Force Defense. Certainly an impressive duty but nothing to gloat about.
I must add that all events here are real and I am very proud of myself for the way I have inscribed them for centuries to come. Now no Wizard, Witch, or Muggle will ever forget the greatness of Gilderoy Lockhart.
CHAPTER ONE: A Glorious Creation
In my thirty-five some odd years of life, I have discovered that being humble about myself has been the greatest factor in my success. As a youth growing up in the late 1960's and early 1970's, I knew I was special. I would look into the mirror at my forget-me-not blue eyes and say to myself, "Gilderoy, there's something about you...something that can make a difference in this world." It was then that I knew that my ideal gift was for the non-magical and magical worlds to unite in harmony. However this dream may never become a reality. Perhaps there are not enough people like myself in the world. I guess this dream is partly the reason why I want to write this book. Let's imagine what it would be like for a Muggle to pick up my book and say, "This man led a fairly ordinary, yet also glorious life. Maybe he and the other magical people aren't so bad after all." Then a dream would come true and I would feel like a catalyst to a superb and profound revolution.
When I was born the first thing my mother noticed was my hair. A brilliant gold and naturally curly. My parents believed that strands of my hair could make the greatest wand ever but no one ever tried to do so. I grew up in lovely Cornwall England and as a child I had a habit of catching pixies and then letting them go. My parents were from fantastic wizarding families that had been educated at Hogwart's for ages and ages. As I was growing up, magic was a staple in my life and I tried harder than anyone to become the best Wizard I can be. In Muggle schools I was laughed at and tormented with songs such as "Gilderoy, Gilderoy, are you sure that you're a boy" and "Did you smell that, Oh look at that, it's Lockhart the fart." Eventually I found sanctuary in my youth thanks to my parents educating me in the ways of wizardry and of course I went to the finest Wizarding school in the world.
When I was 14 I had my first encounter with Dark Forces. Suddenly, as I was walking through my neighboring country side, I was attacked by a creature that I had never seen before. Fearing that it would do irreparable harm to my physical appearance, I casted a freezing charm upon the creature. "Peskipiksi Pesternomi" said I after pointing my immaculate wand at the creature. As it froze, I saw that I had encountered a chimaera who was poised to rip my hair and teeth out. Needless to say that the creature remained frozen for, as you notice, my perfect pearly whites still are with us and have won Witch-Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile award five times. After this encounter a most astonishing notion came to me. This Divine revelation, if you will, told me of my destiny. I must explore, understand, and defend the world from the Dark Arts.
Moving on in my life I began to notice how important this work truly is. I hope that everyone can gain knowledge from my example and be like me in creating a better tomorrow. After my near death encounter, I discovered that my valor was an important attribute to my life. No longer did I fear the "little things" for I had discovered that I had a special gift where those creatures once feared by Wizards and Witches feared me more than death. Perhaps this makes me special. In Year with the Yeti I mentioned how important I feel it is to minimize fear when around these creatures. I started this process at an early age and I discovered how much I gained from it. At the tender age of 16 I saved my best friend from a rabid centaur simply by standing up to it and ordering it to stop. I was humbled with the reception I received from my friend's family and I feel it was a shame that only a few days later he was turned into a newt and no one, not even myself, could combat the powerful and dark forces that had over taken him. My friend wound up being flushed down the loo, for it turns out the curse cast upon him also gave him a rather nasty temperament, especially for a newt.
I hope that as you continue to read of my fascinating and yet bizarre life history, that you take time to notice how much growth I must had to have undertaken at the earlier stages of my life in order to get me where I am today. In all honesty I do wish that my autobiography can be once viewed as a guidebook to becoming a defense guide from the Dark Forces. I learned early in life that evil can exist in every shape and form and I also learned that it never hurts to add a little egg to your hair shampoo either. In the next chapter I will discuss my growth more fully and after that you can see the source of my greatness and my hopes and desires.