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They lay together on the hood of his car, blissful and content.
The night was lovely. The sky was filled with twinkling stars, some bigger than others and some barely noticeable, sparkly little specks but lovely nonetheless. The darkness surrounding them didn't seem to engulf them- rather it seemed to blanket and cocoon them in a bubble of their own.
The breeze blowing had a smell of spring in it. It was telling them age old stories of new beginnings and joyful encounters, it was telling them of a time when life was simple and easy, when people were not corrupted and purity prevailed in their every single action.
Bella snuggled closer to Edward, putting her head on his chest. He wound his arms around her to bring her closer.
They spoke in soft whispers, stole occasional kisses from each other and gazed up at the starry sky in wonder and appreciation.
They had first bumped into each other in the supermarket. Later, as they started talking, they realised they had a lot of common friends but unfortunately had never met each other before.
Their story wasmuch like a modern age fairytale.
They had started by going out on a few dates with each other and gradually, they had fallen in love. It was like they were meant to be with each other.
Pointing at the sky, Edward said, "Look, it's a shooting star!"
Bella looked up and there it was- a largish speck of light making its way across the sky, like a fallen angel being banished from the heaven.
"Quick, make a wish!"
She looked at the angelic face of her boyfriend and said, "What could I possibly wish for, when I have everything I want, or will ever want, right beside me?"
Looking down sceptically but with amusement in his eyes, he said, "Are you sure that you will always want me?"
"Yeah, I am pretty sure I will." She said winking at the love of her life.
"Even when I grow old and my hair goes grey? When my teeth fall out?"
"Hmmm... not so sure about that," She replied playfully.
"Huh?! And here I thought that you actually loved me," He shook his head, feigning mock hurt.
Grabbing his face in her delicate hands, she said, "I will ALWAYS love you Cullen. Don't you ever dare to forget that. And yes, that means even when your hair goes grey and your teeth fall, until you look like a mangy, toothless cat!"
"Dramatic much, Swan? Jeez, I was just messing around with you! And just for the record, I love you too- more than you'll ever know,"
"I am pretty sure I know how much you love me," She sighed out lovingly.
"Are you sure you aren't gonna make a wish?"
"If you are so eager on making me wish, then I guess, I will," She said, closing her eyes, making a random wish.
After she opened them, she found Edward looking at her expectantly, "Well."
"Well?"
"What did you wish for?"
"If I tell you then it won't come true."
"Are you sure? Because I think I can make all your wishes come true," He said, cockily.
"You can believe whatever you want to,"
"Bella?"
"Yes,"
"Just say it,"
"Okay, fine! I wished to get a new phone because my old one is getting really slow and sluggish,"
"Hmm... do you know what I wished for, right now?"
"What?"
"I wish to make sweet love to the girl who has captured my heart completely," he said simply.
"Well, Mr. Cullen, isn't that a little too cheesy?! But I think we can do something about fulfilling that wish of yours," she said coyly.
"Oh yeah? Well I'd love to see you try-"before he could even finish the sentence, Bella launched herself at him.
It was young love inits purest form.
As they lay there panting, trying to catch their breaths, little did they know that it would be one of the last times they would be lying there together, sharing the same air, basking in each other's presence, glowing from the love that they had for each other.
"Hope you visit us again, Mr. Cullen," Victoria hollered after the retreating from Edward.
Originally Edward had decided to buy her a bracelet with different charms showing the various aspects of their relationship. Like for that time Bella had taken him to the meadow (this time by her own wish) and she was shit scared that a bear was following them on their way back- he had added a small cute bear charm.
But then when he remembered what Bella had wished for, when they had gone star gazing, he couldn't help but want to give that to her as well. So he visited the Apple store in the nearby mall and bought her a new iPhone.
To some it would seem that he was spending way too much money on a single birthday but he had more than enough to spend; what with his fatherbeing a renowned surgeon and his mother, being a fairly popular paediatrician.
Bella hated it when he spent money on her but he wanted her to be lavished with everything and anything she could ever want.
He wanted her to feel cherished and want for nothing.
He wanted her to feel like the princess she was to him.
As he was getting into the car, his phone started ringing. Pausing for a second, he looked down to see the callerID.
It was Bella.
Smiling lightly, he answered it, "Hey beautiful,"
"Hi cheesy. Watcha doing right now?"
"Eh, nothing much... just running some errands,"
"Oh. Can you come over this evening? I wanna do my homework with you,"
"Yeah, sure,"
"Okay, then. See ya later,"
"Hm... bye, love you,"
"Love you," and she hung up.
I hope she likes the gifts, he thought to himself.
He sat inside the car, started the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot of the mall.
He turned up the radio and drove along the road at a relatively slow pace, singing along whatever song was being played.
That's when it happened. The unexpected part of life. Something you just want to erase out of your mind. Something you want to run away from.
Suddenly, a truck came out of nowhere and was steadily hurtling towards him. He tried to swerve out of its way, but he knew that his efforts were futile. It was happening so fast yet everything had been lent a trance-like quality. He felt like he was dreaming as he saw the truck coming closer and closer.
The last thought that he had, before the truck crushed into his car and he lost consciousness after a minute of enduring extreme pain in his head was-
"Bella I love you."
Blissfully unaware of the horrifying accident, Bella lay on her bed listening to music. She was thinking about all the things she had done with Edward, all the memories they shared.
Feeling her stomach grumble, Bella got up from her bed and made her way down to the kitchen. She rummaged through her refrigerator.
She found some orange juice and was going to help herself to some when her phone started ringing.
She was hoping that it would be Edward and excitedly look down at the screen of her phone to see the callerID, but was disappointed to see that it was just Alice, Edward's little sister.
"Hey Ali!"
"Be-Bella?" Alice's broken reply came, sniffling sounds coming from behind.
"Alice? Alice what happened?!" she said, consternation lacing her voice.
"Bella, it's... it's..." Alice said, unable to finish because of the sobs wracking her body.
"What, Alice? What happened?" Bella asked.
"Bella, it's Edward..."
Bella felt her stomach drop. Her legs began to shake.
"What happened to him?" she whispered.
"He has been in a car accident. Please come over as soon as you can,"
She swayed. Her eyesight began to sway.
"Okay, I'll be there right away," she managed to choke out.
And as Bella hurried to her rusty truck, tears of fear and worry clouding her sight, the glass and the container of orange juice lay unopened on the table.
Bella drove as fast as she could and was in the range of the hospital within ten minutes but to her it felt like hours. They were probably the most agonizingly long minutes of her entire life.
She jumped out of the truck as soon as it came to a skidding halt. She ran to the entry of the hospital and yelled at the receptionist, "Where is Edward Cullen's room?"
The receptionist started to say, "May I..." when Alice spotted her and ran to her.
"Bella! Oh my god, Bella! Edward, he..." and Alice broke down sobbing in her arms.
Edward. Edward are you okay?
"Alice, you're scaring me. Please tell me what happened," Bella said, unable to stop a few tears from escaping her eyes.
She had a pretty bad feeling that Edward was gravely harmed and the mere thought of him being in any kind of pain was killing her.
"Bella!"
Wrenched out of her morbid thoughts, she turned her head to see Esme coming towards her with an equally tear stained face like Alice.
"Would someone please tell me what happened?"
"Come let's first go to where Edward currently is. I'll tell you all that happened on the way,"
Seeing Esme, who was normally so calm and collected, in such a distressed and scared state made Bella evensurer that something horrible had happened. She was dying to know what happened with Edward but some part of her was scared shitless of the news. It was like she wanted to know what had happened to him, but knew that she wouldn't be able to handle the news. She just wanted to rewind time.
As they got into the elevator Esme recounted what all happened- a drunk truck driver was speeding down the one way lane and crashed into Edward's car. Luckily Edward had tried to move out of its way, so he didn't get fully crushed, otherwise he would have been dead by they were walking towards the ER, Esme said, with a shaking voice, "but he has not got out of this unscathed- he is far from it."
"He has sustained several cerebral contusions and due to the damage to his brain tissues, his cranium is under heavy pressure, which is potentially dangerous and life threatening Bella!" Esme exclaimed in dismay.
She couldn't really pay attention to what was going on around her. Everything she heard seemed to come from somewhere far away. As she slid down to the floor, she wrapped her arms around her knees and curled into a small human ball.
She was unable to think any coherent thoughts, just bits and pieces of the memories that she had of the both of them flitted across her mind. His crooked smile, his twinkling green eyes, his laughter, the way he crinkled his nose whenever he was doing or saying something unpleasant- she could see it all in her mind. Something, she had a feeling she would never be able to see again.
The mere thought of existing in a world where Edward did not exist was abhorrent and unimaginable to her. Just thinking about Edward not being able to live anymore made her heart scream out with pain. She felt like ripping her heart out. It was hurting her too much.
Tears ran down her cheeks uncontrollably and she vaguely felt Alice sitting down beside her on the floor, wrapping her arms around her and the two women sat there in an awkward embrace, needing the physical closeness.
Seeing Bella completely break down, Alice tried her best to remain calm and comfort Bella; though she couldn't help but let a few tears leak through her eyes. She patted Bella's hair, in what she hoped was a soothing way. But it was all in vain. Alice could barely hold herself together, let alone help Bella.
Esme tried to help the two girls control themselves but seeing them so broken and scared, she felt helpless and began to sob.
After some time, when their sobs and heart wrenching cries had finally subsided, Esme helped them to a bench just opposite to the ER door.
"Except for his brain injuries, what else has he suffered?" Bella croaked out.
Taking a deep breath, Esme further recounted, "His right hand is fractured badly. It has broken into three parts. His legs dislocated from his hip girdle. Other than that, his face and body have several abrasions and cuts."
Imagining Edward's beautiful and handsome face marred with cuts and his body broken terribly, made a fresh round of tears leave Bella's eyes, however this time she was able to control her grief.
"What is happening? Like what are they doing to Edward?" Bella asked, pain lancing through her body as she forces out the words.
"He is currently in surgery. The doctors are trying to alleviate the pressureand are trying to get some control of the situation as soon as possible."
As her tears subsided, Bella just there- unmoving and almost like an inanimate object. Soon the morning, gave way to afternoon and afternoon gave way to evening. Esme pleaded with Bella to eat something-anything-as long as she didn't remain hungry.
But Bella simply replied, "I'm not hungry," looking at Esme with blank eyes, devoid of any life or emotion. But then how could she? When your life, the very reason of your living, is lying on the operation table, fighting for his life then you don't really feel anything, except for an impenetrable pain cutting through your heart.
Why God? Why him? Why him, who has such a bright future and such a loving family? Why did you have to harm him like this? Why not me? Couldn't you have done this to me instead?
All the Cullen's had gathered there in the hospital hallway along with Charlie and Renée, who had come as soon as they got the news. Some of them were pacing along the corridor, while some were talking in soft whispers.
"Where did he even go?" the soft voice of Renée, Bella's mother, talking with Emmett, fell on her ears.
"He had gone out to buy a present for Bella's birthday. He was saying something about 'her wish' and making it come true,"
Until now, Bella had only been thinking about the unfairness of it all. Now that she heard that all of this happened because Edward had gone out to buy her a gift for her stupid birthday, she was shocked to say the least.
Suddenly it all clicked into place.
All the times Edward got hurt, it was all her fault-it was all always because of her.
Like the time last year when Edward had caught a nasty cold, it was because he had to go out in the freezing night to buy some beer for the party that Emmett, her brother, was hostingfor her. And another time, when he had torn a ligament, it was because he was running late to his football practice as they had spent a considerable amount of time making out in the backseat of his car and he had to race down the hallway.
As Bella made more and more such connections, she realised that all those times it was clearly her fault. She finally understood.
Edward had once told her after she had fractured her arm after slipping on ice.
"You are like a danger magnet; you attract danger all around yourself."
Oh, how right he was, she thought to herself.
But unfortunately he missed a crucial point- it seemed like she not only attracted danger, but she also made the people near her more prone to accidents.
Oh God, no! NO, NO, NO!
How could I have not seen it earlier?! How could I have been so blind!?
Guilt ran through her blood, making it burn. It was getting difficult for her to breathe. It seemed like her own body was going against her now.
She was hardly able to think straight anymore. The only thing that was running through her mind was- NO!
Alice was slightly surprised when Bella tried to wiggle out of her embrace.
"Bella?"
"I need to go,"
"Where are you gonna go?"
"I-I... I need to go to the chapel near the hospital,"
"Now?!" Alice asked incredulously.
"Please I need to go,"
"I'll accompany her," Emmett offered.
"No, don't," Bella replied, almost strangled with barely held in emotions.
"But, Bella-"
"Please Emmett; I need to do this alone,"
"Okay, but I'll accompany you till the door,"
Bella started to argue but Emmett held up his hand, "I'm not taking no for an answer."
Sighing she said, "Okay, fine," turning back to discreetly wipe off the traitorous tears that had run down her cheeks.
Together they made their way to the elevators, each one lost in their thoughts.
Emmett was sure that when Bella got to know that Edward had gone out because of her, she would undoubtedly blame herself for the accident; whilst Bella was working hard to bring her breathing under control, to seem like a normal person and not a hyperventilating psychopath.
But how could she, when she felt like her very heart was being torn out of her body. It was like her own blood was screaming at her, YOU DID THIS TO HIM, making her ears ring.
As they both walked to the chapel, Bella paused outside and turned to look at Emmett, "Please stay here. Don't come inside with me."
"But Bella-"
"Don't Emmett. Please just... Don't," She gazed up at him with a tearful gaze.
"Okay, but I am staying right here by the door. Just holler for me, if you need me," Emmett said, tiredly.
She nodded her head, unable to say anything more for her throat was closing up with sobs.
She pushed open the doors and walked to the pew nearest to the statue of Jesus. She sat down heavily and for the second time that day, she broke down.
But this time along with pain, she was also feeling remorse and guilt breaking her already shattered heart into a million more pieces. She wrapped her arms around her body to hold herself together but it felt like she was falling apart anyway.
Wiping her tears haphazardly, she fell down to her knees and sobbed out loud, "God, please help him! Please! I swear I'll be more religious, I'll visit the church every Sunday, please just make him alright! Please I am begging you, please!"
Tears streaming down her already tear stained face, she looked up and said with all her heart, "Please just make him alright, make him all good and normal,"
After a few more agonizing minutes of shouting and screaming her heart out, she finally felt herself under somewhat control. She stood up on shaky legs and made her wayout of the chapel.
Outside she saw Emmett leaning against the opposite wall, waiting for her faithfully as she knew he would.
Seeing his sister come out, Emmett let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding in. He had heard the screaming and sobbing and had barely controlled the urge to go inside. Hearing his sister in so much pain, made him feel helpless and he wanted to do something-anything!-to help his sister, to relieve some of her anguish but he didn't know what to do. Tears of frustration and pain welled up in his eyes and threatened to overflow but he willed them not to fall. He had to remain strong for Bella's sake.
"C'mon," he said with a small, sad smile while draping an arm over her shoulder. He offered her a handkerchief, which she gratefully accepted.
Leaning into his warm, comforting hug, Bella dried her face as they continued their way upstairs.
It had been a really tiring day and Bella just felt like goinghome. But even as the thought came, she knew she would never execute it- she would wait in the hospital, even if it was in the cold hallway, until she heard any news about Edward.
They were silent all the way up but in the elevator Bella called, "Emmett?"
"Yes,"
"Thank you... For being there for me," she sniffled.
"Bella, I am your brother, it's my job to be there to catch you whenever you fall. And besides after all this drama is over and Eddie comes back home safely, I'll make sure that you never forget just how much you messed up my hanky with your snot all over it," He said, making a half hearted attempt to make Bella smile.
She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. But then he never did expect it to.
As they walked out of the elevator, they saw everyone in the same position they left them in.
"Any news?" Bella asked, to no one in particular.
"Not yet, but it should be soon," Esme replied
Nodding her head, she went to sit beside Alice again when the door of the OR opened and a doctor in scrubs came out.
It was as if everyone was electrocuted. Everyone tried to get hold of the doctor at once.
"Is he alright?"
"What is the verdict?"
Everyone tried to speak all at once, when the doctor silenced them all by holding up a hand and saying a small, "Calm down."
He waited until everyone was quiet and then he began, "I see you all are Carlisle's family. I have already shared the news with him. So please, go and ask him because I am really sorry but I don't have the time to answer any questions. My next operation is in ten minutes and I need to get ready," and with that he left.
Bella was the first one to run out and head to Carlisle's office. She ran down the stairs as quickly as she could, as the elevator was not fast enough.
Just as she burst through his office, she said, "Carlisle what hap-"
"Get out of my office, Bella," came his muted reply.
"Wha-what?" she stuttered, believing that she had misheard him.
"I said GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!" came his rage filled voice.
This was the first time she had heard Carlisle shout at anyone. As she looked at him, she saw his red rimmed eyes black with pure unadultered fury.
"Do you need a fucking invitation now?"
"I am sorry, Carlisle. I am going now,"
"About fucking time. And Bella, its Dr. Cullen to you from now on,"
As she closed the door behind her, she saw everyone coming towards his office but everything was blurry with her tears. She ran to Emmett and he instantly put his arms around her.
"Bella! What happened?"
"Please just take me home,"
"But Bella-"
"Emmett just take me home. If you can't then I'll go by myself," she said, her anger flaring up. God, it felt good to be angry with someone. It was a nice outlet for her frustrated, confused feelings.
"Whoa, whoa, when did I say that I won't take you? I just thought that you would want to hear what happened to Edward... Anyways, c'mon let's go,"
As everyone rushed inside, Emmett took Bella to his car and helped her inside.
"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked, worry colouring his tone.
Hearing her brother so worried, she could no longer hold it in. She poured out her heart and told him everything.
Emmett's reaction to each and every one of the things was normal until he heard what Carlisle had said to Bella.
"He said what?!"
"Please I can't repeat it. I am already hurting as it is but with what Carlisle said today... I just don't know anything anymore," she said, stifling a sob.
"That son of a bitch!"
Emmett was still fuming when they reached home. Bella ran upstairs, slamming the door shut; she dived into her bed and buried her face in her pillow.
She didn't know what was going on in her life. Everything was going all wrong- the person whom she believed would always be there for her was now lying on a hospital bed, helpless and fighting for his life. The people whom she thought were her extended family were now behaving exceedingly strangely.
She heard the door slam shut downstairs and the voices of Charlie and Renée floated up the stairs.
"How dare that Cullen accuse Bella!?"
"Honey, calm down. All of this is just a major misunderstanding. It-"
"Don't say that it will be alright. He insulted her and put all the blame on her!"
"What happened, Dad?" came Emmett's uncertain voice.
Unable to control her curiosity, Bella got up from her bed and tiptoed out of her room to hear better.
"You know what that fucker, Carlisle said?! He bloody accused Bella for his son's condition!"
"What?! Seriously?!" Emmett said, unbelief and bewilderment evident in his voice.
"When we all went to see him, he looked at us and said, 'I would like to discuss my son's condition with my family in private.' So I said that Edward was like my own son and you know what he said?! He fucking replied that if he truly had been my son then I wouldn't have let Bella do this to him. Hearing that, I tried to calm him down but he refused. He went on screaming and saying, 'It's all Bella's fault. If he hadn't gone out to buy her a gift then he wouldn't be in this condition today'."
"What the fuck?! How is this Bella's fault?" Emmett said, angry and ready to do some damage to Carlisle Cullen.
"I know, right?! Anyways, then we had a huge fight and can you believe it, Esme took his side! She said, 'How could your daughter do this to my baby? She says she loves him but she certainly has a perverse way of showing it.' Then we stormed out of the office,"
"What is wrong with them?" Emmett said, disbelieving that sweet Esme can say this.
If only they knew how right the Cullen's were, Bella thought, sadness engulfing her wholly.
As she went back to her room, she saw her phone blinking. She picked it up and saw that it was a new text from Alice.
**I am so sorry, Bella! I think you already have an idea on what is happening. If not, my mom and dad are blaming you completely for his condition. After Charlie and Renée went away, I got in a major row with the too. But they are being stubborn and are adamantly refusingto listen to any reason. Now they have even forbidden me to talk to you. I seriously don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know whether you know this already or not, but Edward has slipped into coma. **
Reading that line, all air left Bella's lungs. Alice had written something more but she couldn't read it properly as tears clouded her vision. It seemed like her tears were not going stop anytime soon.
From that moment onwards, she stopped living and started to merely exist.
It seemed like all her prayers and fervent wishes to God had proved to be fruitless. They seemed to merely reflect back to her, after being unable to penetrate the sky.
Grabbing her bag which she usually carried with her every time she went over to Edward's home, she climbed out of her window with much ease. After all, she had months of practice and was fairly adept at doing this.
The doctors had been able to save him but unfortunately due to his extensive brain injuries, he had slipped into coma.
That was more than ten months ago.
From that time, Bella had become nothing but a shell of her former bubbly, happy self. Her family tried to console her and make her feel better but how could they, when she couldn't feel anything.
How can you heal someone's bleeding heart when it doesn't even exist anymore?
At that time, Bella had even thought about taking her own life but even as she thought about it she knew that she couldn't inflict such pain and agony on her family.
At first she was completely devastated but then she became really angry. She had become so damn furious on everything and nothing in particular.
She was so angry with Carlisle and Esme for abandoning her like this, for blaming her for everything like this. But deep down, her self-hatred made her conscious of the fact that maybe their accusations were not wrong and were in fact justified. She was angry with Edward for leaving her so goddamn early.
She was even furious with God. She never asked Him for anything but when she begged Him to make Edward come back, he did not even consider her request.
At first she tried to be happy for her family's sake but she just couldn't find anything worth smiling for because the world around her had become bleak without Edward.
She tried to make amends with Esme and had left a chocolate pie on her doorstep as a peace offering but when she came back that night, she saw the pie still remaining there, untouched by anyone except for a few flies hovering above it.
Esme and Carlisle just needed someone to be at fault for what happened to their baby boy because what happened was not fair. Deep down in their hearts, they knew that it was not Bella's fault but they just didn't want to admit it.
As Bella landed on the pavement, she dusted herself off and began walking towards the Cullen's home.
She had tried to visit Edward while he was in the hospital but she couldn't. Esme didn't even allow her to see him through the window. She still shudders when she remembers that day,
"What are you doing here?!" Esme asked incredulously. She could not believe it. After doing what she did to him, she had the gall to come here, fake tears streaming down her face.
"I-I... I need to see him, please, Esme," Bella replied blubbering. She had tried to stay away from him but after two days, she could no longer bear it, she just had to see him.
"Bella, just go away. You have already harmed him enough as it is. Don't do this to him anymore," Esme said, pain seeping through her voice but determination and firmness present in it nevertheless.
"At least let me see him through the window. Please Esme don't do this to me," Bella sobbed, pitifully.
"Don't do this to me?! After what you have done to him, you say that I am doing this to you?! Just get out of here or I will call the hospital security to personally escort you out," Esme bit out through her teeth, with red hot anger barely controlled in her voice.
After that Alice had helped her a lot. After she heard what happened, she skyped Bella when shewent to visit Edward andBella was finally able to see him after two agonizing long days. After a week or two in the hospital, the Cullen's decided to shift Edward to their home.
Seeing that it was Carlisle who was requesting the shift, the hospital authorities readily granted them the permission.
As soon as Alice offered that piece of information to Bella, she decided that from then on she would visit Edward at night.
The first day they had brought Edward back, Esme didn't want to leave the room. But later around midnight,at last, she went back to her bedroom. Bella, who had been waiting patiently outside their home, climbed up his window and let herself in.
She didn't know what to do when she saw him. Her eyes welled up with tears when she saw him lying on his bed, connected to all kinds of machines. He couldn't evenbreathe on his own and had to be hooked to a respirator. She felt like sobbing and screaming out but she didn't. She knew that crying would do her no good, it would only be successful at making her exhausted and she had no wish of being tired when she could spend the night with Edward, even though he was unresponsive.
Since then she had gone over to his house every day, no matter how hard it rained or how heavily it snowed. And not once in the ten months that she had been visiting him, did she cry in his presence or talk about how unfair life was.
She suspected Alice knew about her nightly visits but never mentioned anything to her.
Of all the Cullen family, Alice was the only one who was talking to her. She still talked to her now and then but she knew when to leave Bella alone. Alice knew that even though Bella smiled, her heart was not in it. Smiling was just an exercise to Bella. Something she had to do to make sure her face didn't freeze into the morose look that she had been sporting for the past 10 months.
Infact everyone at school noticed how much Bella had changed. She used to be such a happy person, always cracking jokes and making everyone happy around her but now it seemed like her very soul had left her body.
Bella was aware that she had changed, not only on the inside but also on the outside. She had lost weight and her eyes had dark circles under it. Her skin which had been naturally pale now seemed to have taken a sickly pallor.
She tried hard to feel anything other than sadness but it seemed like the smoke of the happier memories wasalways shadowing her each step, unable to actually seep into her body.
She tried hard to run away from it all but she couldn't catch a break from the swarm of memories that she had with Edwardwhich always flooded her mind. He was the first thing she thought about when she woke up in the morning and the last thought she had before she cried herself to sleep every night.
Even in her dreams she couldn't escape from the ever present pain in her chest. She always dreamt about what they would have done if he had been okay.
But now she had learnt to deal with it. It was like she was becoming acquainted with pain and grief, as it didn't seem to be leaving her anytime soon.
Every night around eleven, she came to his room to do anything Edward had previously enjoyed doing. Like sometimes she would read him his favourite books or play his favourite songs and sometimes she would just lay beside him talking about everything, anything and nothing.
Lost in her thoughts, she reached the Cullen's home and started scaling up to his window without much effort. After all, months of practice would do that to you.
Bella didn't know why but for some unknown reason today, she was feeling pensive and on-edge. It was like she was feeling very frustrated but at the same time she was not.
Something was a little different tonight, something was a little off.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she brushed off her anxious feeling to be unimportant and distracting.
As she made her way inside his room, she decided to play one of his favourite songs, Take Me to Your Heart.
As she hit the play button, the first strains of the song began coming out of the speakers softly curling around them like a light mist.
Hiding from the rain and snow,
Trying to forget but I won't let go.
Looking at the crowded street,
Listening to my own heart beat.
So many people, all around the world,
Tell me where do I find,
Someone like you girl.
As the song, continued playing softly, Bella moved to stare outside his window. Try as she might, she just couldn't let those feelings go. Humming along to the song, she closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it would feel like to have Edward's arms around her at that moment.
She imagined him singing in her ears softly, Take me to your heart, take me to your soul. Give me your hand before I am old.
If only I could really feel him, Bella thought to herself and an involuntary sigh escaped from her lips.
Turning back to look at him, she saw his chest move up and down, his handsome face smooth and calm. If she ignored the faint beeping of the machines, she could pretend that he was asleep peacefully, without a care in the world.
But try as she might, she just couldn't ignore the soft sounds of the machines around her, which in the silence of his room were more deafening than usual.
She just couldn't ignore that she was the culprit. If it hadn't been for her then Edward would have been there, sitting next to her.
And for the first time after a long while, tears fell from her eyes. She tried to rein them in but once the dam broke, there was no looking back.
She stood there, tears rolling down her cheeks and her slight frame shaking.
"Why?"
She hadn't realised that she had said it out loud, until she heard it. Words came pouring out from her lips, unstoppable,
"Why you?"
"Why not anyone else?"
Wiping her cheeks roughly, she continued, "Why did you have to drive that day? Why did you have to go out and buy me a present?"
As looking at him became increasingly unbearable, she turned way and once again looked out of his window but her words did not stop, "Why did you have to go so early? If only I could steal the moments that we had from time and keep them with me forever... It's so heart wrenchingly cruel,that even though we are here together, I am still alone."
Taking a deep shuddering breath, Bella looked up at the sky. She could see a shooting star zooming across.
Smiling, Bella couldn't believe the irony of the situation. It was, after all, how it all had started.
"Can you believe it, Edward? I see yet another shooting star... you said that you can make my wishes come true, well you know what? I wish for you to come back to us- to me, your mom and dad, to Ali, to Emmett and to everyone else who cares about you."
"If you are a man of your word, come back."
Bella turned around to look at him, still lying there motionless on the bed with no movement whatsoever.
"C'mon Edward, wake up! Please wake up!"
She looked at him, pleadingly. She tried to will him to wake up but after a few long moments, she dropped her gaze.
Disappointment flooded through her entire being and she could do nothing but fall in a heap on the floor, a curled ball of despair and pain.
Taking a deep shuddering breath to try and control herself, she swiped her hands across her face, wiping away all the tears. But as she wiped them away, more came sliding down. The more she wiped, the more they fell. It was as if her patience and hope had all been shattered and given rise to unending helplessness and misery.
What did I expect anyway? That he would wake up after all this? After all the crying Esme, Carlisle and Alice had done?
Glancing up at the clock, she saw that it was almost midnight.
Shit! I wasted all my time being this sniffling sobbing mess. I'll just have to come back tomorrow and try harder.
Lost in her thoughts, she went to grab her bag and almostmissed the faint stirring of his body. Bella froze, unable to turn around for hope was that he was actually moving and hopelessness that she had probably imagined it all.
Then she again heard a faint rustling of clothes and then after a few moments she heard a faint, disgruntled "Bella?"
Unable to believe this, Bella whirled aroundand whispered disbelievingly, "Edward?"
"Water..." he trailed off.
"Yes, I'll be right back," and bolted out of the room.
Bella made her way downstairs quickly, as soundlessly as possible and filled a glass of water. She then hurried up the stairs, trying not to spill the water as she went.
I really can't believe he is awake!
When she reached inside his room, she saw him struggling to sit up. She rushed to his side and said, "Here, drink this slowly," she said, carefully handing him the glass and helping him sit up.
As he drank the water, Bella turned around to glance out of the window, relief and joy flooding through her, overwhelming her.
I guess shooting stars do work, they do make wishes come true.
Thank you, she thought fervently, whoever is up there, thank you so damn much!
Turning around, she saw Edward staring back at her with his bright green eyes and she stared right back at him with tearful eyes and a heart brimming with joy and gratefulness.