Warnings: Complete and utter silliness and stupidity. One-sided SwordsxKurogane. Angst? Hinted KuroxFai just for kicks and giggles along with a peek at SyaoranxSakura. Punched out in an hour and no beta/proofread job.
Summary: Takes place after all is said and done and they're all back at Yuuko's celebrating or something. Souhi and Ginryuu can't accept that Kurogane might love the other sword more.
Disclaimers: I blame this on Steve, L-chan, and Lulu-chan. Characters belong to CLAMP. The stupidity is all my own...

He Wants Me

It had been two days since the long sword was placed carefully in a dark corner alongside an ornate katana. Two days of waiting. Next to that annoying katana. "God damn it, where is he?" Souhi cried.
"Would you shut up?" Ginryuu muttered.
The two swords had not spoken a word to each other since the ninja had left that room two days ago. Ginryuu enjoyed the silence, not caring about the other sword that had just gotten back from traveling through the hundreds of dimensions with the man. Something that should have been Ginryuu's privilege.
"Why should I shut up?" Souhi asked. "Why hasn't he come back for me?"
"Are you a moron?" Ginryuu spat. "He'll come back. And he'll come back for me."
"What are you talking about?" Souhi growled. "Why would he bother with you?"
"Because I'm his sword," Ginryuu said simply.
"I'm his sword," Souhi shot back.
"I was his sword first," Ginryuu said.
"I've been with him through more," Souhi replied.
"But he loves me," Ginryuu said.
"He sold you," Souhi mocked. "Or don't you remember?"
"Shut up!" Ginryuu shouted. "He didn't want to!"
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Souhi scoffed. "He may not have wanted to at first, but then he got me and everything was better."
"You wanna bet?" Ginryuu fumed. "As soon as they're done with whatever they're doing now, he'll come for one of us. He'll take me!"
"I think not," Souhi said. "You'll never make him as happy as I have."
"I will make him the happiest!" Ginryuu growled. "I'm more beautiful than you are anyway."
"Say that again, bastard!" Souhi shouted. "Your beauty will never match my sexiness!"
"Sexy?" Ginryuu laughed. "Hardly. You're so simple it's contemptible."
"Simple?" Souhi grated.
"Yeah, simple," Ginryuu sneered. "What, you can't hear anymore? Kurogane-sama can't be with anything but the best. And the best obviously doesn't have hearing problems. Looks like I win."
"You don't win!" Souhi cried. "He'll choose me! I know he will! He loves me!"
"He loved me first," Ginryuu said.
"That means shit, you crap sword!" Souhi said.
"Who's a crap sword?" Ginryuu growled.
"Obviously you, you gaudy freak!"
"Say that again, bitch!"
"You're a gaudy freak, you crap sword!"
"I'll snap your blade in twain!"
"Try if you can!"
"Watch me!"
"Like I'd ever lose to you, shit sword!"
The door swung open and light shone upon the bickering weapons. Kurogane glanced curiously around the room as a slightly drunk Fai and Sakura hung off either of his arms, Syaoran doing his best to support the princess.
"Did you hear something, Kurogane-san?" Syaoran asked.
The ninja raised an eyebrow at the two swords in the corner. "I guess not." He let the door swing shut and the swords again were in the dark. "Could have sworn I heard something."
"He would have taken me," Ginryuu mumbled.
"Crap sword, like hell he would," Souhi muttered back.
"He would," Ginryuu growled. "He'll leave you here and take me back to Japan Country."
"Oh, now you're assuming he still wants to go back to Japan," Souhi grew bolder again.
"He has to protect Tomoyo-hime!" Ginryuu shouted.
"She's fine without him!" Souhi said. "He's got to protect Fai and Sakura-hime!"
"Whatever, he hates that wizard!" Ginryuu said.
"Or not," Souhi said. "He hates Fai as much as he hates Tomoyo-hime."
"Don't compare that guy to Tomoyo-hime!"
"In any case, he'll come for me and take me away to wherever he wants to go," Souhi sniffed.
"No he won't," Ginryuu snarled.
"Yes, he will," Souhi said.
"Won't."
"Will."
"Won't!"
"Will!"
"He loves me more!"
"In your dreams!"
"In reality!"
"Some crazy stinted version you exist in!"
"You just don't want to admit that he'll take me because he really loves me!"
"Ha! As if he would leave me!" Souhi shouted. "Face it, he doesn't want you anymore. He only has hands for me."
"Bullshit, you pussy!" Ginryuu flared. "You couldn't kill someone if your blade depended on it."
"He doesn't kill anymore, or did you miss that?" Souhi sneered. "So much for you knowing him more intimately than me."
"He would still kill if it weren't for that curse!"
"No he wouldn't, damn idiot!" Souhi said. "He's a better person now! You don't know what I know!"
"Ah, Kurogane-sama, come save me from this incompetent," Ginryuu mourned.
"Like he'd ever come for you!" Souhi said. "He'll come for me!"
The door slammed open. Kurogane glared around the room, eyebrow twitching as Fai still clung stubbornly to his arm.
"What the hell is going on in this room?" The ninja growled, looking around.
"Hey, Kuro-wan-chan," Fai crooned. "Why are we back at the weapons place?"
Kurogane glared at the wizard. "Get off of my arm."
"Nyaa! Kuro-tan's scary!" Fai laughed and nuzzled Kurogane's bicep.
Kurogane scowled at him before turning his gaze back into the dark room and finally pausing at the two swords. He quirked an eyebrow at them before rolling his eyes and stalking back out of the room, dragging Fai after him.
"Nyaa! Kuro-pin, where are we going?"
"Away from this crazy room where it sounds like swords fighting all the time!"
"Nyaa! Kuro-chan's hallucinating!"
"Shut up!"
In the darkness again, the swords stood quietly.
"He totally looked at me," Ginryuu swooned.
"Whatever, punk," Souhi scoffed. "He looked at me first and longer."
"No he didn't."
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Prove it!"
"Prove otherwise!"
"I'll take you down!"
"You could try!"
"Kurogane-sama only wants me!" Souhi cried.
"No, he wants me!" Ginryuu shouted.
The swords fell into silence then.
"I hate you."
"I hate you more."
"Only I could love Kurogane-sama as much as he deserves."
"Go ahead living in your delusions."
"Delusions, my hilt! It's the truth!"
"Like damn it is!"
The door swung open again and a tall, buxom woman stood in the frame, glaring at the two weapons.
"Would the two of you shut up?" Yuuko said. "This racket is pissing me off and I'll keep the both of you here, no matter what Kurogane says if you keep it up."
A collective gasp from the swords.
"Yes, wouldn't that be lovely," Yuuko grinned. "Both of Kurogane's precious swords in my possession forever." She chuckled. "That would be worth the amount of noise he would cause."
"You wouldn't dare!" Ginryuu said. "He's already suffered enough because you took me away!"
"If there was suffering it would be because you're so useless to him!"
"Say that again, bitch!"
"You're useless!"
"Enough!" Yuuko said. "Now the both of you shut up. It's time for me to sleep."
She turned with a swish of her hair and the door shut.
Silence blanketed the room once more.
"Kurogane-sama will take me."
"Bullshit he will."
"Crap sword."
"Useless decoration."
"I hate you."
"I hate you more."
"I love Kurogane-sama the most."
"I love him the most."
"Bastard."
"Imbecile."
Silence.
"You don't really think that Space Bitch is going to keep both of us, do you?"
"She took me away from Kurogane-sama, any amount of cruelty is possible with that woman."
"Hm, she spared him from your pathetic uselessness."
"Maybe Kurogane-sama will take both of us."
"Like I'd share his hip with you."
"What!" Ginryuu shouted. "Arrogant butter knife! He'd put me on his hip!"
"Butter knife? You don't even know how powerful I am!" Souhi snarled. "And he'd never want an ugly-ass sword like you at his side. He'd hide you on his back."
"His back?" Ginryuu sputtered. "That place is reserved for you!"
"Yeah right!"
"Yeah, it is right!"
The door opened again and Yuuko stormed in. "You want your precious sword freak, you'll get to sleep with him if it'll just shut you up!"
"Sleep?"
"With?"
"Kurogane-sama?" The two swords swooned.
Yuuko stalked down the hall and threw open the door to where Kurogane slept and tossed both the still-swooning swords inside. They clattered noisily to the ground a few yards away from their softly snoring ninja.
"Good night!" The door slammed.
"Yuuko-sama is so generous to let us be with Kurogane-sama," Ginryuu sparkled.
"Oh he looks so peaceful."
"Even if that damn mage is wound around him like a deranged snake."
They sighed in contentment.
"He'll still take me."
"He'll take me."
"The swords…are fighting…" Kurogane muttered in his sleep.
"Swords can't fight, Kuro-mu," Fai responded, not waking.
Silence.
"He loves me."
"No, he loves me."
"We'll see."
"Indeed."
"Crap sword."
"Useless decoration."