Nadia did not need to send the letter for me to know what was going on. With some, the plague took mere days, and with others, years. I had watched Lucio's steady decline in health over the past months, and keeping my distance was difficult; it was as though only I could soothe his anger, calm his tantrums with the sound of my voice. I was unsure as to how I had wiggled my way into the deepest recesses of the Count's being, but it did me well, even if the ache in my chest with each meeting left me a tad more fearful that my farewell would be the last.
It was all an accident, of course. What I believed would be one rendezvous in the dead of night, many moons ago, became something far more than I could have ever guessed. It was a secret affair, at first; the horrid amounts of guilt I felt for Nadia wracked me dry each and every time our eyes met. Her relationship with Lucio was a sham, a fact she confided in me not long after the first instance of our relationship unfolded. Regardless, as I had been able to sway Lucio's attention away from her was a joy, in her own eyes, and though she thanked me, I could not help but to see a hint of pity dance across her expression, as though she was regretful that I had fallen prey to the Count's wiles.
Footsteps echoed down the polished corridor, my features hidden by the hood of a billowing, crimson cloak. I was hardly inconspicuous; the loud hue of my mantle drew unwanted eyes, hushed whispers of scandalous rumor floating about the air from one ear to another. Palace servants watched me with a critical eye and nobility stuck their noses in the air whenever they met my golden gaze. I was common, hardly in a position to be flitting about the palace halls as I did, but it was my ties, my relationships forged in the very dead of night, that afforded me such privileges.
"My lady?"
I thought I was sneaky. I thought I had passed over the servants' watchful eyes as I snuck my way into the palace. However, try as I may to avoid unwanted attention, there were still a handful that could tell when the Count's Magician stepped foot into their home. My hand rested at the nape of my neck, clutching at the folds of my cloak, tightening it over my chest and obscuring my common dress from critical eyes.
Coming to a halt, I turned, my eyes hidden in the shadows of my cloak. I could make out their feet in the hall, shiny black books of the finest make–no doubt Nadia's doing. My lips pressed into a thin line as my gaze traveled up their form, and after a moment, I released my hand from the front of my cape, lowering my hood to reveal who I was.
"How did you know it was me?" I asked dully, though I already knew the answer. The guard laughed, their voice echoing off the marble walls, though their mirth did not quite reach their eyes. Joy was not a common feeling within the palace, and what little there was to be had seemed to dissipate like a droplet of water on scalding metal.
"I would be hard-pressed to find another that wore the cloaks you do, Lady Magician," they replied with a nod. I could barely see their face from within their helmet, their deep, blue eyes sparkling mischievously when I huffed. However, it did not last–as soon as the happiness appeared, it faded away, replaced with a cold hopelessness as their gaze flickered down the hall.
"The Countess is attending to him now," they continued, drawing forward to touch my elbow, pulling me onward. "It is a surprise that the entire palace isn't running about in a panic, with the ruckus that comes from the Count's room. He does not like being stuck, as he is, and I fear that the Countess suffers most from his tantrums." A pause. "She will be pleased to see you have arrived as quickly as you did. She is at the end of her ropes, Athena."
I allowed myself to be led along, my lips pursed in thought. A crease appeared between my brow as they knitted together, and I walked rather stiffly at the prospect of seeing Lucio in this state. My chest was already aching; I was torn, torn between the wellbeing of my friends and that of my lover.
Lover.
What a word it was. A word I would not have placed upon the cruelest Count Vesuvia has ever seen. A Count whose own self was held on a pedestal far higher than anyone could hope to reach, a Count who cared not when his people cried out for help, for even his table scraps. A Count whose temper was far worse than any I had ever experienced, who delighted in setting aflame those who would do him wrong, even at the smallest instance. I don't remember hearing a single, kind word fall from his lips when not prompted to do so, and his grand Masquerades…well, they were for him, and not truly the public.
I made to continue forward, but suddenly, I felt myself jerked to the right, down a long, empty hallway which led to Lucio's wing. My stomach knotted, anxiety coursing through my body. I was unprepared for this, unprepared to calm Lucio from another of his tantrums, to work through a breakdown Nadia was, no doubt, having at this moment. I should have known what I would be getting into, just by the letter I received.
"Lady Athena, are you well? You look a little…green…"
Their words startled me, and I cast my gaze downward, catching their concerned eye behind their helm. I bit my lip, running a hand through my crimson locks, and said nothing. Nothing needed saying. It was obvious enough to the both of us that I wasn't at all well, and the guard was kind enough not to press it further as I cast my gaze toward the ground, fixing on the ivory marble, laced with golden lines within.
How I wish I didn't care. How I wish I could turn a blind, emotionless eye to his malady, to allow him to die without thought or pause. To watch him wither away as countless before him had, people with families, with lives ahead of them. If only I could say I hated him, to make all this easier for me…
But god, I didn't hate him, not in the least.
"I dare not go any further," the guard suddenly said, pulling me from my thoughts, yet again. "The Count allows noone to enter, save for the Countess and those he summoned to find the cure. And you, of course, but I believe that's for something else, entirely." Their features were grim, and I cast my eyes toward the twin doors, painted in the purest white and inlaid with intricate, golden designs, lavish L's resting above golden knockers on either one. It took me back to the night I first was summoned, the night that led to me standing before his chambers even now, a night I could never forget, as long as I lived.
"Good luck, Athena. I will have the servants draw up a meal for you when you retire."
I didn't have a chance to respond. Not seconds later, they were already halfway down the hallway, and a second later, they had turned out of sight. I sighed deeply, my shoulders slouching wearily as I mentally prepared myself for what was to come. Previously, I hadn't paid attention to the ongoings behind the double doors, but eyes flickering back to them, I suddenly heard a heated argument from within. I immediately recognized Nadia's exasperated tone, teetering on the verge of rage as she tried to make Lucio see sense in what he was doing. I couldn't make out her words, muffled by the doors as they were, but whatever happened was likely not to end well. Moments later, Lucio's voice entered the fray, still with the same, arrogant tone, but far softer, weaker, and sounding as though he needed to clear his throat.
"You're not trying hard enough!"
That, I heard. Lucio seemed to muster all his energy into the exclamation, and not seconds later, a crash rattled the doors before me as a trinket, made of glass from the sound of it, shattered against them. I jumped back in surprise, my hand resting on my chest, and the room became dangerously quiet. I could almost feel the air around me chill with the amount of animosity that radiated from behind the doors, and I gulped, unsure as to whether I should back away and leave entirely.
"We do what we can."
Nadia's voice was quiet, so much so that I was surprised that I even heard it, and second later, the doors flung outward, narrowly avoiding me as I jumped back against the wall. Nadia, her skirts and veils billowing out behind her, passed through the doorway, her crimson eyes puffy and red, tears staining her lovely skin as they continued to fall, unendingly, down her face. Despite this, she was well composed, and had the signs not been so obvious on her features, the stillness with which she held her body could have fooled anyone.
The doors slammed behind her, and she stood impossibly still, eyes closed as she focused on her breathing, her chest rising and falling steadily while she calmed herself. I stood, frozen, against the wall, my eyes unable to avert their gaze from the Countess, and it was a few minutes before she opened her eyes again.
They immediately fell upon me, and I could see the surprise in her features as she recognized me. I could not place the emotion that seemed to fall upon her features, but within her eyes there was a sense of relief, a relief that I could only grant her.
"Countess," I murmured, finally finding my voice, and I drew forward a step, inclining my head in a bow. I was unsure as to what else I could say to her, and I doubt she would care for any sort of comfort I could provide. She was a strong woman, not easily upset, and yet to see her as vulnerable as she would allow herself to be was something in itself.
"Athena." Her voice was unbelievably calm–she was not a woman to be reckoned with. "Please, rise. You have no reason to bow to me privately, nor address me by my title. You hold sway in these halls, Athena. Do not forget that."
She offered a smile, but it was stiff, and did not reach her eyes. I could see the strain in her expression, in her shoulders, yet she stood so gracefully that part of me wondered if I was just seeing things. Regardless, I straightened, hands clasped before me as I warily met her eyes.
"Of course, Nadia," I replied softly, my brow creasing. "I, ah you…" I stumbled over my words and averted my gaze, unsure as to where I was going with all of this. She seemed amused by my efforts, and her features softened, if only for a moment.
"You want to know if I am well, yes?" she asked, and I nodded. Her eyes lingered on my face for a moment before turning her head away, taking a step forward and running a hand through her long, silky hair. "I will save you your breath then, my dear. I am not well. I am holding on to the very last ropes of my sanity, and it is my dear husband that forces this state upon me."
Naturally, I knew Lucio was the cause of her stress, and I could only bow my head sadly at her revelation. Still, she laughed, a cold, bitter laugh, and turned back to me, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes again.
"How I long to be free of his curse, Athena. We have tried, you have tried, to find a cure for his illness, yet he moans as though we do not. He berates and abuses us. His words cut, even if his strength fails him. I…I do not know what to do."
Her breath caught in her throat; it was the first time she stuttered as she forced back a sob, and she raised her hand to her mouth, features contorted into pain. I reached for her, holding out my hand as though it would somehow soothe her, yet expected nothing. However, the coolness of her touch suddenly fell upon my warm palm, and she drew me nearer to her, both her hand reaching to take my face within them, fingers curled in my hair.
"Athena, you must do something. There is little he listens to, respects. I don't know how you managed it, nor do I think you know either. But he listens to you, calms at the sound of your voice. Please, make this as bearable for us as you do for him. His time draws to a close, and he grows more unbearable by the moment, but I know you are able to keep what little peace there is to be had."
Her eyes were pleading, the only time I had ever seen such an expression upon her features, and at the proximity which we stood, I could see the dark circles under her eyes, the overall weariness she felt. She was completely serious in her request, and though she asked, I would have done it regardless. I saw how the stress weighed down on everyone, myself included, and it was all I could do to ease the tension for Nadia.
"Of course, Nadia," I murmured, bowing my head. A sigh of relief escaped her lips, and standing on her toes, she pressed her brow against mine in a simple thanks, before letting her hands fall from my face, resting on my shoulders as she met my eyes again.
"Thank you, Athena," she said, shaking her head gently. "I must retire now; the day is still early and I must meet with the nobility in the evening. I would like to appear presentable by then, but I suppose we will see." She bit her lip, glancing at the double doors beside us. "He has been bathed already this morning, Athena. Could you, ah…" Pausing, she lifted her hand to her temple, as though nursing a headache. "He has made it nearly impossible for any of the servants to attend to him, to make him presentable for the masses. Perhaps you could…?"
Her voice trailed off, as though embarrassed to even ask for such a request. I sighed, shaking my head, and I rested my hand on her shoulder reassuringly.
"You don't have to worry, Nadia. I'll take care of him."
Relief flooded over her features, and for the first time in what seemed like ages, a genuine smile spread across her lips. It was infectious, to say the least, and I felt myself returning the gesture with a small grin of my own. Of course, I was about to enter the belly of the beast and I wasn't exactly sure how Lucio would take to me entering his lair.
"I…thank you, Athena. I will have the servants prepare a room for you for when you retire. I wouldn't have you return to your home so late in the night, when I assume he would have you into the night hours."
I said nothing, and merely nodded, a thankful smile on my face, and turning on her heel, Nadia left me, standing very alone, disappearing into the halls.
Biting my lip, I turned back to the doors to my right, the gold gleaming brightly in the daytime light. I was apprehensive, to say the very least; while he was hardly respectable with his own wife, my presence brought out a sort of charm, marred only by his sickly demeanor. He was calmer, kinder. He had showered me with gifts, even mere days after our first encounter. I wasn't sure what it was about me that had drawn him in, nor why he continued to ask for only me on his sickest days, but a great part of me, the very same that kept me in his chambers that fateful night, so long ago, enjoyed the pampering and attention.
My fingers rested on the handle, prying it open gently and pulling the door outward. Roaring in the fireplace, opposite from where I stood, was a brilliant flame, bathing the entire room in a warm, orange glow. It was quite a deal hotter, within, and as I slowly eased my way into the chambers, closing the door softly behind me, I undid the ties at my neck, letting the cloak–a gift from Lucio himself–fall from my shoulders, nestling it in the crook of my arm.
"She doesn't know. She couldn't know. They want me to die already, I can feel it."
I could make out a figure sitting at the edge of the bed, nearest the fire, hunched over, hands fisted in his messy locks. Setting the cloak atop a plush couch to the right of the entrance, I strode over, shoulders straight and head held high, and yet my fingers curled together before me, arms bent at the elbows, hands wringing together anxiously as I approached.
"Why haven't they found something yet?"
His voice was raspy, and suddenly his shoulders shook as he hacked into his hand, coughing terribly as a tremble shook him to his core. I winced, listening to him wheeze as he fought for air, and after a few moments, the coughs subsided, allowing him to relax again. I could hear the frustration as he grumbled, his fist burying itself into the edge of the bed, and he stood suddenly, as though ready to punch a wall out of anger.
"You really should rest, you know."
He froze in place, hearing my voice, and a second later, he strode from the other side of the bed, eyes wide as they fixed on mine. I could see the anger in his expression melt away, a certain softness in his features reserved only for me taking over. Even his posture relaxed as much as a sick man's could, and he held out his arms in a sort of jaunty fashion, as though to beckon me into them.
"I wasn't expecting you, Athena," he said, a hint of jest in his voice. I looked him once over, frowning. He was thin, unmistakably pale, and his hollow cheeks and dark eyes gave him a gaunt appearance, as though he were a ghost, walking among us.
"Mm, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you I was coming." Hesitantly I drew forward, my gold eyes fixed on his. The pale irises were still there, but the whites of his eyes were a flaming, painful red, a testament to the plague which took him. I remembered seeing the first traces of it, ages ago, and the feeling of the discovery was always prevalent in my mind. It always took ahold of me, deep into the night, and often I would find myself randomly crying, pained that this would befall Lucio. Even then, I told myself to pull myself together; he was cruel to those around him, a vicious ruler, and yet…the soft caresses into the late nights, the sweet kisses he placed on my lips every chance he could. Sometimes I wondered if they were the same man, for I saw a side of Lucio that not even Nadia had seen.
"Please, even if you were to tell me, the joy of seeing my dear Athena would be enough to surpass any surprise." He flashed a cocky smirk, thin lips cracking over shining teeth, and I shook my head with a halfhearted laugh, reaching to take his face in my hands. My palms touched his cheeks, thumbs running along prominent cheekbones, sad eyes sweeping over the state of his condition. His eyes closed lazily, a sort of peace falling upon his features as he leaned into my gentle touch, and his mismatched hands met mine, hovering softly against their backs.
"Athena, it has been a nightmare," he croaked, brows knitting together. "The suffering I've gone through…"
"I know," I murmured softly, biting my lip. "I've seen it in the city. So many sick, dying. I can't bare to watch it."
My hands fell from his face, drawing back sadly to myself. His hands followed, naturally, and his eyes fluttered open, fixing on my gaze haughtily.
"And yet, they haven't found a cure. Why bring them here if they aren't producing results?" His anger flared as he turned away quickly, one hand resting on his hip while the other ran through tousled hair. "I don't have much time left, Athena, and to think, they're off cavorting around rather than find what I need!"
"You expect so much out of a handful of people," I said quietly, raising a brow. "Nobody knows the cause of the Plague, Lucio, and until they find it, it will be impossible to cure."
He did not seem pleased by the truths I told, and huffing, the fist of his golden hand clenched tighter, threatening to embed itself in the wall before him. I stood still, arms folding across my chest, undeterred by his oncoming outburst. It was not something I was unused to, and though never directed at me, they were enough to cause me minor annoyances at his tantrums.
"They…they need to work harder!"
As expected, he used what strength he had to smash his fist against the wall, pulling forth a weak groan from his lips. The moment he struck, his hand flattened against the marble, leaning his weight heavily against the surface as what little strength he had faded. I was almost tempted to go to his side, but I held my ground, lips pursed.
"They won't produce results if they're overworked, Lucio," I chastised. "Trust me, I've tried to find a cure, and the longer I stayed up, the less I found. Overworking them will get you nowhere."
He grunted in frustration and I rolled my eyes, brushing my hair back over my shoulders. The light of the fire caught the jewels of the necklace that rested upon my neck, casting ruby light upon the wall, light that caught Lucio's eye as he turned back to me. It came from a pendant he gifted to me, the night I discovered the red in his eyes, a pendant that hardly a day passed where I didn't wear it. It was a bit extravagant for my simple dress, but the silver of the metal, inlaid with shining rubies, was too beautiful to keep hidden.
Once again, the anger melted from his face as he gazed upon the necklace fondly, and I drew toward the bed, taking him by the hand and leading him back. He did need his rest if he was to see the nobility that evening and yet, as I sat upon the plush surface, kicking off my sandals and scooting myself back, the sultry expression that he wore nearly had me rolling my eyes in irritation.
"Lucio, no."
He eased himself on the bed next to me, shifting so that he laid on his side, facing me. His hand stroked my hair softly, smooth strands running through skeletal fingers, likely the only softness his illness would allow. My gaze flickered to his face with a dull expression, watching his lip pout as his eyes traveled across my features, coming to a rest on the hair in his hand. "You are no fun."
"And you're in no condition."
He whined, throwing himself back onto the pillows, the back of his hand resting upon his brow dramatically. "How long has it been, Athena? I'm going mad."
I raised my brows, shaking my head as I plopped on the bed next to him. Rolling onto my side, I mimicked his pout, which earned me a sneer as he side-glanced at me, and with a hand, I brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, pushing it back with the rest.
"At this point, you won't survive if I had my way with you, silly man," I said. "What strength you have, you need to save it for countly duties or whatever it is you do. Speaking of…" Pausing, I lifted myself up and shifted closer, so that my face hovered above his as he steadily met my gaze. He did not look all that impressed, knowing well where the conversation was going, but regardless, I had to break the news, one way or another.
"Nadia asks that I get you ready for tonight," I continued. "I hear you've been absolutely troublesome to the servants."
"But not to you?" he asked, raising his brows. He raised a hand weakly, running his fingers against the length of my jaw. "They all seem to hate me, Athena. I can't imagine why."
"You're insufferable," I said without pause. "Vain, self-absorbed. Really, your only redeeming quality is your love for animals."
A grin spread across his lips. "And the sex."
I snorted, earning me another glare. "Once upon a time, maybe, but in this state, I wouldn't say so." That seemed to wound his pride a bit, though his grin did not falter, and after a moment, his other hand had cupped my face within it, stroking my cheek gently with his thumb.
"Though, I'll admit," I continued, nibbling on my lip. "Apparently, there's something I see in you that somehow redeems you to me. You're gentle when you want to be, and doting. I've never been spoiled so much in my life."
Lucio laughed weakly, his hands falling from my face as a chill rattled his body. I sunk back down next to him, scooting myself closer, nestling against his shivering frame. The warmth of my body drew him in instantly, and I laid my arm against his torso, fingers tracing small, gentle circles against his collarbone. As weak as he was, Lucio still found it within him to wrap an arm around me, and I was able to hide my miserable expression from him in the crook of his neck, nose nestled against his skin. This was difficult, and it would only grow more so the longer I dragged it on, but the greater part of me could not find it within me to merely forget about him and move on with my life. God, what had I gotten myself into? Everything about the affair was a disaster, and yet we were still drawn to one another, nearly inseparable. Star-crossed lovers.
"I suppose that's something," he mused, running a hand over his brow. "You made me work for it, though, Athena. I don't think I've worked so hard in my life."
I rolled my eyes, resting my hand over his mouth to shut him up. It worked for a moment, that was until he flopped over on his side, his arm landing heavily across me while his lips planted small kisses on the palm of my hand. I grunted, his neck nearly smothering me, and I shifted, drawing backward to pierce him with a hard gaze, lips pouted.
"You are insufferable," I growled, merely earning me another, smug grin as the count chuckled, and wiggling in place, I freed myself from his grip rather easily, though his hand still rested on mine as I sat. Peering at him from over my shoulder, he had rolled onto his stomach, using one arm to support his head as he looked up at me, red eyes watching me closely. Half his face was hidden by the folds of his chiffon shirt, and with the mischievous look in his eyes, I could easily make out the rest of his face, knowing the playful expression he typically wore when trying to deter me from my goal.
"Anyway." Lifting myself from the bed, I heard Lucio whine as my attentions were pulled from him. I took a tie from my wrist, pulling my wavy hair up into a messy sort of bun, keeping the long tresses from my eyes as I prepared to get to work. Behind me, I could vaguely hear him shifting, feet hitting the ground with a weak thud, and he shuffled toward me, though I kept my back to him. My sights were fixed on the portrait that hung between his expansive bookshelves, the testament to his glory, of a time when he was at his peak.
I turned away, the portrait pulling a deep sadness from the pit of my stomach, finding myself right in Lucio's arms, one hand at my waist, the other taking my hand in his. My expression had not been lost to him, and his nose wrinkled as he glanced at the portrait behind me, lip curling as he realized the shadow of his former self he had become. I could feel him shaking against me as he drew closer, pressing his body flush against mine, and his hand–that which he still had–was cold and clammy. The shadows cast from the fireplace made him appear more gaunt than he was, and the stubble that lined his chin and jaw was rather out of place, as he liked to keep clean-shaven at all times. Of course, I doubted that those with the plague really cared about their outward appearances but then again, this was Lucio.
"Why the long face, my love?" he murmured, his voice a mere hushed whisper that barely met my ears. His expression was unreadable, and I cast my gaze aside, a soft sigh escaping my lips.
"I–" I paused, finding the words that so eluded me. "I don't know how much more of this I can take, Lucio. Every time I leave, I wonder if it's the last time."
Is expression darkened, and I could feel his thin fingers entangle themselves within mine. For once, he was silent–no knowing smirk, no quip on the edge of his sharp tongue. Pure silence.
I was half expected him to speak about himself in some way or another; if anything, Lucio was a natural when speaking about himself, jumping at every opportunity to do so. But now…now, it was different. He was silent, the weight of the situation heavy on his shoulders. He shivered against me, likely wracked with chills from the disease, and instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him, my brow pressed against his.
He sighed, drawing back, his piercing eyes fixed on mine. "Oh, Athena. I didn't think you could be this smitten, you know."
My features scrunched, nose wrinkled as I pushed him back, and Lucio doubled over, laughing, though it rapidly turned into a hacking cough. With a sigh, I rushed to his aid, rubbing his back gently as he choked, tears running down his face–a mixture of the illness and the mirth as my expression.
"And here I thought we might be having a moment," I said as he finally came too, a smug expression settling across his features. "You are absolutely insufferable."
He shrugged nonchalantly, rubbing the back of his head. "And yet, here you are. I didn't force you to stay, my dear. You came of your own volition."
My shoulders slouched and I rolled my eyes, the telltale smile on my features causing a flicker of approval to flash across his features. "Cherish it while you can, loverboy." I paused for a moment, holding out my hand for him to take, and though he did, he did not allow me the chance to lead him to his dressing area, not yet. Instead, he lifted it slowly to his lips, planting a small kiss against my knuckles, sending a shiver down my spine. I bit my lip softly, and his cocky grin returned as he raised a brow, inclining his head toward me.
"Very well, have your way with me, then," he said. "I can't promise I'll behave in theircompany, but I'll do my very best to please you while you get me ready."
I sighed, tugging him forward, pushing him toward the supplied Nadia had granted me for my endeavors. "You say that as though I'll do something more than get you made up," I laughed. "I told you, you wouldn't survive."
He whined again, resting his head heavily on my shoulder. "Athena, you really are no fun."
"Maybe so," I replied. "I'm saving all my fun for the Masquerade, next week. I'll be there to make sure you have the best dance of your life."
He watched me closely, his grin never-fading. "I hope so."