The Best Blog Ever

Poster: IAmTheRealNova

Post Name: May 7th

Okay, so today, me and my team totally DESTROYED this one super villain, Whirlwind. Maybe you heard about that giant tornado dude? The one that caused a ton of money in collateral damage? Yeah. We were the ones who stopped him. Pretty cool, huh?

Now, I don't mean to brag, but...I did most of the work. I mean, seriously! Web-Head just runs around like some inane toddler while shooting webs at the guy's face; Fortune Cookie just says weird and random sayings to try to talk the guy out of it; Ava, well...no offense, but her tiger claws don't really do anything. Power-Man helped, though. He's more useful than anybody else on this team. Except for me, of course.

So. You might ask me why I'm starting a blog, with J.J. Jerkface and all of the other haters out there. Well, it's so you guys, the people, can know what REALLY goes down. My side of the story, y'know? Honestly, Web-Head could take a lesson from me.

Just remember, guys. If you ever want to talk to one of the superheroes that any of the haters coughJ.J.cough say are "menaces", I'm here.

"And today on the Daily Bugle, the most reputed news source in New York, we're showing the blog post of a teen that claims to be the menace "Nova" that went viral. Whether this is a teenager's prank or the real deal, citizens are now getting the wrong impression of these so-called "heroes". Our investigative team is working to find out who really posted this. We'll get back to you on the Twelve O'Clock News today."

I clicked off the TV in my room on the helicarrier. I pondered the question all teenage superheroes wonder about some point in their lives.

Why is J.J. Jerkface such a jerkface?

"Knock knock, Sam." Director Fury's voice rang out from outside of my room. He opened the door with some master key he must have.

"DUDE! You don't go into people's rooms like that! What if I was naked or something?"

An amused smile crept across his face. "That's what we have cameras for."

Yikes.

"Anyways, I came to talk to you about this." He whipped out a S.H.I.E.L.D Pad (TM!) with my latest blog post on it.

I blanched. "Oh...that little thing? Uh...I'm sure nobody even read it..."

He raised his good eyebrow. "Then why is everyone talking about it?And have you even CHECKED the comments yet?" He shook his head sadly. "So many fangirls..." he muttered.

Fangirls? Well, it looks like I might just be able to get a date to the school dance after all.

"No, I haven't checked the comments yet, but maybe if you get out of my room, I will." I crossed my arms.

"Fine. I've said what I wanted to say. Just be careful what you post, Sam." And with that, he did a Fury-style exit. Very mysterious.

I powered my phone (a perk of S.H.I.E.L.D!) on and checked my e-mail. I got an e-mail notification whenever I got a comment. Surely enough, I had about...uh...I'm just gonna say a LOT of e-mails.

Most of them were from either haters or fangirls. These were some of the more notable ones:

Poster: Nova'sDreamGirlfriend

Post: OMG NOVA UR SO SEXY CAN U PLZ GO TO THE SCHOOL DANCE WITH ME? THE SCHOOL IS MIDTOWN MIDDLE! IT'S IN THE AREA!

Well, that was...I'm not even sure what that was. But I can't blame the girl. I mean, who could resist this? I might have to visit Midtown Middle soon...

Poster: DailyBugleROX

Post: J.J.'s right about all of you super-menaces. I completely and wholeheartedly agree with him. So much, that I even hired a team of assassins and mercenaries to take care of you menaces once and for all. Watch your back!

That's just disturbing. I doubt the guy's serious, though. Hopefully.

Poster: IAmTheRealNova'sGirlfriend

Post: Nova. Meet at the corner of 3rd and 2nd in that alley. You, me, and your sweet bod.

No way I'm going to the corner of 3rd and 2nd tonight.

So, if anybody is reading this, maybe you guys could leave a comment? Preferably no death threats. I've gotten more than enough of those lately. But if you really want to, than go ahead, I guess. I'm not gonna be the one to hold you back from your fourth amendment or right or whatever.

IAmTheRealNova signing off.