Disclaimer: Is there a trope for not owning Dragonball Z? If there is, I hope I get to name it. I would call it "Dennis."

Okay, here I'm going to be doing something a little different, a little interesting. The madcap idea I have for this is something akin to improv. Right before writing each of these skits, I'm going to click "Random Trope" on the TVTropes website, and make a 1,000-word one-shot out of the first three I get, no matter what they are. How I incorporate them is entirely up to me, but those three tropes have to be involved somehow. Also, I'll be listing the three of them after the end of each skit, for referencing.

Y'ALL READY? LET'S GET STARTED!

()()()

It was a warm evening in June. A black-haired young man clenched a bouquet of roses in his trembling hand. He didn't realize he had, through his super-strength, completely crushed them at their stems.

He, a shy young half-breed Mystic Super Saiyan dude named Gohan, was in the backyard of Hercule Satan's gorgeous mansion compound, waiting for a girl by the anagram-arific name of Videl who was promising him her hand in marriage. It had been two years since first they met, and it was time, they felt, to start hating each other like real adults. Only one problem; her father, Hercule, was still kind of a dick about Gohan. Upon hearing about the level their courtship had taken, he had the entire mansion locked down and placed such a strict embargo on his own daughter that her own dog wasn't allowed in the same room with her.

"How could he even take care of you?!" was the World Champ's argument, and Gohan had to admit, he didn't have much of an answer. His own family lived off his big, weird grandpa, and the only thing Goku had to augment that with was fish from a nearby pond. Just as a side note, a lifetime eating a nearly all-fish diet will do some shit to you. Gohan has to take five showers every morning before school just so he won't smell like a junkyard full of stripper vaginas.

So now Gohan stood in silent consideration of the windows on the mansion's backside, only two of which are actually lit up. Videl told him on the last day of school, "just throw a small pebble at my window and I'll fly out to meet you. Don't worry- the right window will be lit up." Gohan wondered why she didn't just encourage him to, y'know, fly in and get her, since it's not like Hercule's guards would be able to do anything to him, and God help them if they accidentally hurt Videl somehow. But he's not the one writing this shit, is he? So there.

Gohan used the focused laser that was his intelligence to deduce that he could, instead of throwing a rock at Videl's window and potentially destroying it, simply float up and knock on her window. He had learned (after many, many attempts) how to hold back enough of his power to not destroy anything he brushed his bare knuckles against. Now he just had to decide which one of these windows was it. That part was the hardest. If he didn't pick the right window, how was he supposed to win, doe?! It, truly, was a question of the ages. Salad or soup wasn't the question in the Son household, because it tended to be "lake full of fish or entire salad bar" instead, and beyond that he wasn't accustomed to making snap decisions between two tantalizing choices.

"Eenie meenie… erm… how does the rest of it go… aww, damn."

He finally decided, long after guards had found him and started shooting him vain, to float up to the window closest to the ground and take his chances. As he began to float, he was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the guards screaming in horror at him, just like he didn't notice the countless bullets that said guards wasted on him.

Gohan made it to the window and gazed in. His eyes nearly rocketed out of his face. Of all of the horrible things he could have potentially seen in his situation, this was easily among the top 10. Hercule stood nude in a luxurious bathroom, hands on his hips as he stood looking down at the bathtub full of steaming hot water as if to say, "oh, baby, I am going to enter you somethin' fierce." And he did.

Perhaps it was the sight of Hercule's naked genitals, or perhaps it was the sight of Hercule's HAIRY naked genitals, but Gohan's gag reflex was triggered worse than an overly sensitive tumblr poster, and he floated down from the window dry-heaving.

"CUT!"

A fat, groaning man with a big, red megaphone marched into Hercule's backyard, which is actually a movie set. "I suppose you'd care to know that we just wasted another big reel of film because you can't act, you fucking dick."

"I'm," Gohan paused to retch, "sorry!"

Videl opened the other window, where she is stationed during the scene, and peered down at Gohan, looking sympathetic and disgusted. "Should we just wrap for the day?"

"No!" The director screamed through his megaphone, or as it's called during parties, the weird beer funnel. "This set isn't cheap, you fuckin' amateurs! First it's Videl being too namby-pamby to do a fuckin' nude scene, then it's Gohan not wanting to look at man-ass!"

"Well, excuse me!" Videl said. "I'm not going to be harassed because I have standards!"

"Yes, and they are beneath those of my fuckin' film!" screamed the director again. "You two are the worst actors I've ever had the displeasure of working with, and I had a guy ten years ago who couldn't even piss his own pants! We had to put a hose behind him and the shot took sixteen days to get right!"

"Speaking of that," said Gohan, "I may have, uh, peed a bit in my pants because I dry-heaved so hard. Can I change right quick?"

The director gazed at Gohan in disbelief. "I can't believe it!"

Videl floated down to confront Gohan herself. "Jeez, Gohan, I'm just as nervous as you are, but you didn't have to do that."

"I didn't MEAN to!" Gohan snapped. "This wouldn't happen if your father would shave his hairy butt every once in a while!"

"It's his business if he wants to do that!"

"Not now it isn't! Other people have to look at it now! I mean, for Pete's sake, it's going to be on film!"

Videl shook her head. "No, he's going to be filmed from the torso up. We've already talked about that."

"We have to film again, from the top," sighed the director. "Gohan, I want your stupid fuckin' ass off this set the next time you screw up another shot like that."

Gohan's face twitched with the anger he had been holding back all day. "I need to go change my pants."

"You know what? No." The director said. "Just because of what you did, you have to film this shot with pee in your pants."

SO HE DID. And three days later, he died of a horrible infection of the crotch, and in honor of his sacrifice the director of what would later become the worst movie of all time had this chiseled on his tombstone:

"A REAL PEE-PING TOM!"

THE END

Tropes: Amateur Cast, Grave Humor, Uptown Girl