A/N: Before you read this, I'll already warn you. This is a trial remake of my very first fanfiction, Sapphire Eyes and Amethyst Ones. I understand that when I made that story, my intention was nothing but about fantasizing on a character pairing only; thus, plotting and substance didn't make their way to my writing. So whenever I go back to that fanfiction's page, I can't help but cringe at the naïveté with which I wrote it. So this story is a trial, to see if I can make it a better version of the first.
Prologue
Dying did not simply mean physical death. One could have a living body but have no conscience…a vegetable lying on a bed, getting their nutrients from an IV injected into their veins. This condition was what was called "brain death"—the body was working, but the mind was gone. Or one could live with a dead soul, going through every day with no particular goal in life…just eating, drinking, bathing, working, and sleeping, just waiting for their material life to end. Some people would call this "emotional death", probably the worst of the three kinds of death.
As Naoru watched while her home burned down, reducing everything she treasured to ashes, she felt as though every fiber of her being was being flamed to death, too. The difference here was that, while everything and everyone in that giant torch was probably not feeling anything now, she was still there, alive and breathing, with her insides continuously being flamed by the sight in front of her. And unlike the burning which would die out later on, hers would probably glow bright and hot for the rest of her life. It would never fail to remind her of the sight of black corpses, the smell of burned flesh, the sound of crackling fire, the scorching heat that bit her skin, and the bitter taste that filled her mouth as she started to feel sick.
Doubling over as she let out the contents of her stomach, her throat now joining the burning because of the acid, tears made their way to her eyes, dripping to the ground and disappearing in the darkness of the night, the night when the cloud of smoke made its way to the skies and blocked even the last sources of light from her. Fate had some sort of twisted humor if he had intentionally let her live just to savor in the death of her soul by giving her this kind of homecoming. It was not even remotely funny. She would have to have been insane if she were to laugh at the irony of not seeing her family for a year—only to find them dead when she returned.
Was Fate mocking her, taking away all her loved ones the night she was to be reunited with them? It was as though he was telling her how useless she was, not even having been there to protect everyone. Worse, Fate might be laughing at her now for having been useless as to have let all of this happen without her to share the suffering. She had survived the death of her family by not being there at all.
As she looked up to view her living hell once more, the pieces of her shattered heart, overloaded with guilt and helplessness, now crumbled into sand. Sobbing and crying, her clothes and hair soaked with sweat and tears, she vaguely wondered just what it would take for Fate finish his entertainment and take her as well to her own blood. What was she going to do now? The moment the last of her family died and fire was lit on the grounds where she spent her childhood, her happiness, her sadness—her everything, was the moment her heart lost its reason to function. What was there left for her in this godforsaken life? Why was she even there, staring, breathing, functioning? Why did she still exist?
Blue eyes turned to the sky, where everything was as black as her mind. Black. The absence of color. It suited everything so well, taking away all sense of individuality from those things that personified themselves with color. It screamed of the unknown and the nonexistence of everything, just like how her whole being was questioning her own actuality. She had lost all sensation; her mind refused to think anymore. She was left to stare at the sky, dirty and with her tears dried up, until the sky slowly regained its life, albeit solemn, leaving the dark and adopting the gray light that came with the low-hanging clouds covering the rising sun. Soon after, droplets of rain fell from the sky, as though it had gone on a slumber of its own, waking up to find the tragedy that surrounded the lone figure, and deciding that it should cry along with her, extinguishing the fire.
When her consciousness returned from its moment of empty reprieve, triggered by the cold sting of rain, tears again made their presence known, mixing with the streaks of fresh water that the sky offered as condolence. Then, with the second surge of anguish and pain unimaginable for the innocent, as emotions could only be felt by the conscious and the subconscious, Naoru opened her lips wide and let out a scream, a scream so loud and full of mourning that it echoed all around the forest.